Opposites Attract
by cheezysan
Summary: (AU)(Ereri; Riren/Yaoi) After Eren and Levi met for the first time, the feeling of despite is mutual. They're as different as day and night yet much to both their dislike, their paths keep crossing until they need to decide to become either lovers or enemies.
1. Chapter 1

**Levi's POV**

I gave an annoyed sigh as I boarded the plane. There was a group of friends right behind me in the queue chatting way too loud for my taste. I just prayed to whoever was in charge up there that they were seated as far away from me as possible.

I made my way through the narrow aisle between the rows of light blue seats, looking for F5. I found it to be in an empty row and sat down on my middle seat and gazed out the window.

„Excuse me?" A male voice with a hint of a german accent asked shyly and I looked up.

Oh why have you forsaken me, I sent an angry thought upstairs while rolling my eyes. The brat that just dared to speak to me was one go the annoying chatterboxes I hoped to sit away from.

„Our seats are F4 and F6, could you let one of us through?"

„Tch" I huffed and got up, shuffling out of my seat and back into the aisle.

I took a look at the boy I will be sharing a row with. The boy wore a grey beanie, covering most of his slightly longer brown hair that was falling into his green eyes. I have to admit, he didn't look all too bad, quite good actually. Yet a look further down made me roll my eyes. Full on hipster. Beige chino and a very old washed out shirt of two hands forming a ‚k' each, probably an indie band, plus a pair of white converse that were not so white anymore to top the horrible look off. If I had to say which kind of people I disliked the most out of all, I'd say hipsters. Those wannabe retro brats that want to go against the flow but are to dumb to notice that they are mainstream as shit and their ‚different style' _was_ the flow.

„Thank you" the boy smiled at me to which I responded with another „Tch" and turned my head away.

After the boy sat down and I just wanted to get back into my seat he cleared his throat.

„I'm really sorry to bother you, sir, but would you mind sitting on the end of the row so that me and her can sit next to each other?" He nodded into the direction of an asian looking girl standing behind me.

I moved my gaze towards her. She looked just as hipster as him. A nirvana crop top, probably DIYed, a red scarf, a waist high pair of cropped jeans and Doc Martins.

„You really should be sorry, brat", I hissed and let the black haired girl past me to sit down in _my_ seat.

„Thank you so much, sir" The girl bowed her head and fastened her seatbelt.

„Tch" I made once more and sat down. I'm almost always in a bad mood but it has rarely ever been this bad.

I sighed audibly and glanced at the brats next to me, the girl leaning her head on the boys shoulder. Fucking lovebirds.  
„Listen up you two" I started and they turned to look at me. „I already can't stand you brats and I believe you want this flight as pleasant and relaxing as I do so if you two start annoying me any more than you already do my mere existing, shit will go down. Got it?"

The boy stared at me in disbelief and fear and stuttered and „O-okay" and added a „We're not a couple you know so no need to worry."  
„Oh thank god" I muttered sarcastically.

The journey was worse than I expected. The two brats next to me, whom I lovingly named ‚Scarf Cobain' and ‚Indie-ana K', kept on chatting with their friends like before. With the only difference that their friends were 5 rows ahead of us.

„Ey, Pferdefresse! Fang!" Indie-ana K yelled and threw a chocolate bar to the front where a blonde boy with a face like a horse turned around just in time for the chocolate bar to hit him right into the face. All of his friends started laughing, excluding Scarf Cobain who seemed to view them as childish and annoying as I did.

„Danke Arschloch" Horseface-guy yelled back at the still laughing Indie-ana K.

We took off only 20 minutes ago and I'm already pissed enough to open the planes emergency door and throw those brats right outside the exit into their certain deaths.

„Ey, Eren" Scarf Cobain nudged Indie-ana K in the ribs and nodded slightly towards me.

„Was denn, Mikasa?" Indiana K, obviously now called Eren, asked and looked over to me but seeing that I was giving him my infamous death stare he quickly looked away again.

„Phew, If looks could kill…" he muttered.

„They probably will" I grunted, finishing the line from Peter Grabriel's song ‚Games without Frontiers'.

„You know the song?" Indie-ana K aka Eren looked at me with surprise written all over his face.

„Uh, yeah? Duh?" I responded and sent him another death stare.

„You don't look like you listen to that kind of music" he shrugged and my eyes narrowed.

„Well yeah, I don't, it's a classic you gotta know, but what the fuck makes you think you could assume my taste in music just by looking at me?" I spat and my death stare intensified.

„Well I thought you were kind of into… you know… death metal?"

 _I think at this point I should tell you a bit about myself. The name is Levi. Levi Ackerman. I look like what most people would define as a punk. I have pitch black hair with an undercut that causes my hair to part at the top of my head and fall down to the sides. I have a piercing at my bottom lip (which I have currently switched with a safety pin) and three earrings on each ear. I also have a tattoo which I'm not quite fond of though. I got it done when I was drunk as shit and I can't remember a thing from that night. I just woke up with this tattoo on my chest the next morning. My friends refuse to tell me what happened so I bet they tricked me into it. Since it's too expensive to have it removed I now have to life with the Anarchy symbol forever injected into my skin right above my heart. It drives me mad whenever I see it, it's like dirt that will never go away, no matter how hard you scrub. I hate dirt. My black combat boots that I wear almost every day are always shining, the white shirt I was wearing that day underneath the red and black vest (right half is red, left half is black) on the plane was so clean it could blind you. The only thing I didn't care as much about were my jeans. Torn at several places, held together by mere willpower and several safety pins, I wonder how I got through the security check._

„Brat, if you think Death Metal looks like this", I made a hand motion down my body, „then you really are dumber than I thought."

„His name is Eren, not Brat!" Scarf Cobain joined the conversation, looking quite pissed off.

„I call him whatever the fuck I want to, got it, Scarf Cobain?" I snapped back at her.

„Scarf Cob- what?! Did you mother not teach you how to be polite you damn punk?" She hissed, trying not to make a scene.  
That was when my patience reached my limits. I grabbed her by the scarf and pulled her face down towards mine (yes, I had to pull her down. I'm rather short and I hate it) and stared at her, trying my best to look intimidating.

„Listen up Scarf Cobain", I spat the words right into her face and slapped Eren's hand away as he tried to interfere, pushing him back into his seat. „Don't ever try to lecture me unless you want to go skydiving without a parachute within the next hour. So don't talk to me again, got it? Same goes to you, you little shit." I moved my eyes towards Indie-ana K who looked completely terrified.

„Yes, sir" Scarf Cobain muttered and ripped herself free from my grip.

„Lass ihn einfach in Ruhe, Mikasa" Indie-ana K (I think I should start calling them Eren and Mikasa but something inside of me refuses to be ‚nice' to them) whispered. I didn't speak German but it sounded like he tried to calm her down.

„Jetzt nimm ihn nicht auch noch in Schutz!" His friend seemed to argue but I couldn't be bothered to listen to those brats any longer.  
I took out my headphones and put them on, switching to the only Metal song I had on my phone which I only listened to when I was really pissed off and couldn't let it out. So I let Oly Sykes scream ‚Go to hell for heavens sake' in my place.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eren's POV** (all conversations actually happen in german but for the sake of everyone I'll just write them in english)

„What a grumpy cat", I muttered when the raven haired weirdo, seeming like he literally ran away from us, left the plane in a hurry.

Mikasa, my adopted sister, and me got up as soon as the crowd of people started to clear up and rejoined our friends in the front. I immediately earned a hard punch in my side, making me groan.

„Thats for throwing the snickers in my face, jerk" Jean, a tall blonde guy with a face like a horse, said and I wanted to punch back but Armin, a boy with a blond bowl cut and also my best friend, held me back.

„Stop fighting, both of you!" he said sternly and threw his bag over his shoulder.

Jean and I are sworn enemies ever since we met for the first time. Despite the hatred we felt for each other, I have to admit that I respect him and he does the same.

„Who was that grumpy midget next to you two?" A boy with what looked like no hair joined us, followed by a girl with a brown ponytail eating some crisps. Connie and Sasha.

„Oh don't get me started on that idiot", Mikasa rolled her eyes. „He kept insulting us and calling us names. Seems like he has to make up to his lack of size with his enormous ego. He's so full of himself, bah, I hate people like him."

„Oh come on, Mikasa, he probably just had a bad day. We all do sometimes. No need to give him so much shit," I sighed.

„Once again, why the heck to you protect him? He was such a dick and you just let that slide?"

„Lol, maybe gay lil' Eren thought he was sexy", Jean giggled in front of me and earned a knee up his ass.

„Just because your boyfriend had to go ahead one day earlier than us doesn't mean that you can make fun of us by labeling us as gay just to hide that you are the gayest motherfucker here", I shot back with a cheeky grin.

„Hey, Marco is NOT my boyfriend okay?!" Jean tried to defend himself but I cut him off.

„Whatever you say, sweetheart", I blew him a kiss and winked sexily as I shoved him out of the way to go down the stairs that let out of the plane.

„Have a nice holiday", a stewardess bowed her head lightly as I passed her and I just nodded my head into her direction.

We were the last ones to leave the plane and enter the bus that would drive us across the field to the airport building. My friends and I kept joking about random crap the whole time, went through the security and made our way to the baggage claim.

„Oh look, my bag is already there!" I exclaimed and ran up to the belt where my big black bag with a green tag was slowly moving along the other passengers waiting for their luggage.

As I grabbed it I saw the grumpy midget (that's what me and my friends called him) out of the corner of my eye, staring at the suitcases passing by him. I glanced over at him just to see him slowly turn his head into my direction so I just took my bag off the belt and made my way back to my friends. It was heavier than I remembered but well, I carried a lot of stuff in there.

„Is that the midget?" Jean asked, seeing me staring at the raven-haired man.

„Ehh yeah…" I mumbled and bit my lip.

Jean was right with what he said earlier. I really did think that guy was sexy and his mysterious bad boy behavior only made him appear sexier. I wasn't out of the closet yet, the only one who knew I was gay was Armin and he only knew because he came out to me as bisexual first. I just shrugged it off back then and told him he didn't need to worry since I was gay myself. And that was it. We never talked about it again, mostly because my sister barely left my side and I didn't want her to know just yet but also because it would probably be just awkward as shit. But sometimes, when I was checking out a dude in the streets, Armin would throw me a knowing look and I would blush in response.

/

As soon as we got out into the arrivals hall, we were greeted by Annie and Marco. The two of them took a flight to Tampa one day earlier to get our bungalow ready that we were going to live in for the next few weeks. Me and my friends took a gap year as soon as we finished school and we were on a ‚Work and Travel' trip all across the United States now. It was October by now and we had already been to St. Louis and New York, so now we actually wanted to head for St. Petersburg but while searching for a place to live we fell in love with Tampa and there we were now. We gathered up some money to pay the rent for the rather big furnished bungalow (we were eight people after all) and Marco and Annie went ahead to get all the paperwork done. Nobody wanted to go so we had to draw sticks and those two lost, much to Jeans dislike.

„Hey you two, got everything done?" Jean asked and greeted Marco with a hug as if they hadn't seen each other for weeks.

„Well, the house looks like shit and needs a big clean up but apart from that: yes. We only have six rooms though, remember? So we have to decide who has to share a bed", Annie said and glanced over at Jean, who was still hugging the life out of his freckled companion.

„Those two sure as hell will share one", Connie giggled.

„I think we should decide that when we get there, alright? First of all we should figure out _how_ to get there… Annie?" Armin raised an eyebrow and looked at the short blonde girl in front of him.

„We can take the bus, it should take around 30 minutes, the busstop is quite close to the house." Marco joined the conversation after he managed to free himself from Jeans embrace.

„Okay guys, got all your stuff?" I asked and looked around the circle of my friends.

„I got everything I need right here", Jean cooed and wrapped his arm around Marco's shoulders.

„You two are so gay", Connie shook his head laughing and we all left the airport to get the bus that would bring us to our new home.

„Home sweet home!" Marco smiled as he unlocked the door to the yellow bungalow. It was located in a quiet area, away from the big streets, with several other bungalows looking just like this one.

All of us leaned forward to catch the first glimpse of our new home when Marco pushed the door open. He and Annie waited outside while Armin, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Jean and me all wanted to push through the door at the same time.

„Come on guys, one by one!" I hissed through my gritted teeth, getting squeezed between Jeans shoulder and the doorframe.

„Sure as hell not after you", Jean grunted and gave himself a heavy push, falling face first onto the wooden floor. „Hah, FIRST!"

„Oh wow, congratulations", I muttered and stepped over him, ‚accidentally' kicking him in the side.

„MINE!" I heard Sasha yell from the right, standing protectively in front of a doorframe.

„Sasha, that's the kitchen", Connie laughed and also stepped over Jean who didn't even bother getting up, knowing he lost the fight.

„I know. And it's MINE!" Sasha shouted and bit into an apple. Where the hell did that apple come from?

After a short fight about who gets which room and who has to share one, we all ended up alone except for Sasha and Annie who were willing to share one since they were girls and didn't have a problem with that and Jean and Marco who we practically forced together against their will but sometimes love needs a little push to happen.

I entered my room, quite small but it will do, and threw my bag on the bed. After a short fight with the zipper I finally got it open and reached in to get my clothes out. What I pulled out sure as hell were a bunch of clothes. Yet they weren't mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Levi's POV**

My friend Hanji, whom I mostly referred to as ‚Shitty glasses' or ‚four eyes', dropped me off at my apartment after annoying me with questions about how my trip to New York was and how everything went at the studios, which I answered with single words like „good", „alright" and „ok". I dropped my bag behind the front door and threw myself on the couch screaming into a pillow.

„Goddamn fucking piece of shitty day", I shouted, the pillow muffling my voice.

I got back up, straightened my messy hair and dragged my surprisingly light bag behind me into my bedroom to unpack. I opened the zipper with brute force as usual since it always got stuck and almost fell back because it opened with ease and I used way too much strength.

„Motherf…", I grunted and took a look inside the bag.

Light blue skinny jeans, a red hoodie with a school logo printed on it and a bunch of other shirts and pants that seemed to have been carelessly thrown into the bag.

„Ah shit… you've got to be kidding me!" I kicked the bag across the room, causing some clothes to fall out.  
With a sigh I bent down and picked them up, folding them neatly and put them back into the bag. I cringed at the mess. It was rude to dig around in someone's stuff but the mess inside this bag made me furious. My politeness was stronger than the urge to tidy up so I just closed the zipper so I didn't have to see it anymore. I checked the green tag that was attached to one of the handles and turned it around. Great. No name, address or phone number on it. I guessed I just had to wait for whoever took my bag to call me instead.

Just as I finished that thought, my phone in my pocked buzzed. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. Erwin, my what people would call a ‚best friend', had sent me a text.

 **Eyebrows:** S'up shorty? Everything alright?

I rolled my eyes at the nickname, let out a „Tch" and texted back.

 **Levi:** Call me that again and heads will roll, Eyebrows! I picked up the wrong fucking bag at the baggage claim and am stuck with some random persons shit now. Nothing is al-fucking-right.

 **Eyebrows:** Chill out man, it's not like the world ended.

 **Levi:** All my notes and sheets are in there, THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO FUCKING END!

 **Eyebrows:** Jeez, Levi, relax okay. The person who picked up your bag will certainly be as pissed off as you about picking the wrong bag so someone will contact you sooner or later.

I groaned and was about to text back when my phone started to buzz in my hand.

‚Unknown number calling'

 _A/N_

 _Holy shit this chapter became short. I just went over some old chapters and wanted to rearrange the POV stuff so it only changes with the beginning of a new chapter. If you're new to this story, the chapters will become longer, I'm sorry._

 _Cheezy - out_


	4. Chapter 4

**Eren's POV**

I paced up and down in my room with the phone in my hands, typing in the phone number that I found on the green tag. I really should have done that myself, my green tag was empty ever since I attached it to my bag. With a sigh I pressed call and held the phone up to my ear. It rang 3 times until someone picked up.

„Ackerman", a deep male voice answered the phone. That was the name written on the tag in a tiny, neat handwriting. No first name though.

„Ehh Jäger, h-hello", I stuttered. I hated having to call strangers.

„What do you want?" The man on the other end asked and my face went the shade of a tomato. I was glad he couldn't see me.

„I-I think we got our bags mixed up. I'm stuck with a bunch of stuff that isn't mine…" I answered, trying to sound as American as I could.

„So am I", he grunted. „I just hope you aren't too far away by now so we can meet up and switch them back."

„Where are you right now?"

„Indian Shores."

„I think that's not too far away from my place. Sorry, I just moved here…"

„Mhm."

An awkward silence started between us.

„So…" he started, sounding not at all amused.

„Um yes… is there like a place thats easy to find?" I asked, feeling more and more awkward.

„There's the bridge that leads to Indian Rocks, hard to miss. Meet me there in an hour. I need my stuff." He grunted and hung up.  
Boy, that guy was unfriendly. He should be glad I called him, he would have had no chance to get his stuff back if I hadn't.  
I took the bag and dragged it behind me out of my room.

„Where are you going?" Armin asked when I bumped into him as neither of us was really looking where we were going.

„Took the wrong bag" I muttered and Armin threw a look at the bag behind me.

„Looks just like yours… even the same brand and green tag."

„Yup. Gonna meet up with the guy who has mine in an hour at the bridge that leads to Indian Rocks."

„Did I hear Indian Rocks?" Mikasa's head peaked out of the room next to mine.

„Yeah. Wrong bag, random guy, gonna meet at the bridge in one hour." I explained and exhaled audibly.

„I'm coming with you!" my sister decided and adjusted her red scarf. I gave it to her as a welcome gift when she joined our family and she barely took it off.

„No no no, you unpack and get comfortable, I can manage that myself." I argued even though I knew it was of no use.

„No Eren! I'm coming with you, end of discussion!" She said and I accepted my defeat.  
We asked Annie for help with the bus since we had no clue what we needed to do. She gave us her map and explained to us what we had to do and which bus we had to take. So my sister and I took the bag to the bus stop, waiting until a white bus pulled over to pick us up.

* * *

 **Levis POV**

„Fuck's sake", I hissed and threw my phone on my bed as soon as the guy hung up. „Why always me?!"

As I was waiting, I was walking around my apartment, tidying up the already tidy living-room. I sat down on the couch and switched on the TV, watching some random crap about monkeys. A faint buzzing and a bell sound came from my bedroom and I remembered that I left my phone and didn't even text back Erwin.  
Back on the couch with my phone I unlocked it and opened my messages, seeing that Erwin and Hanji both sent me a text.

 **Eyebrows:** Any luck with your bag yet?

I sighed and texted back.

 **Levi:** Yes, a guy called, gonna meet him in a few to swap bags.

 **Eyebrows:** Glad to hear that. Please don't punch him though okay?

 **Levi:** I'll try my best. Can't promise anything tho.

I subconsciously played with the safety pin attached to my lip with my tongue while I was texting, not noticing that it opened until it poked me in my chin.  
„Ouuuch, fuck" I hissed, fumbled it closed again and focused back on my phone.

 **Shitty Glasses:** Hey grumpy cat :D Beach tomorrow? Erwin and Petra will be there too, just to have a nice afternoon with some friends. You in?

I knew that even if I declined, she would find me and drag my ass to the beach, that crazy four eyed idiot.

 **Levi:** You make it sound like I have a choice which I, knowing you, don't have. What time?

 **Shitty Glasses:** Will pick you up at 2 PM, see ya tomorrow xox

 **Levi:** I hate you.

 **Shitty Glasses:** you know you love me HAHAHAHAH

 **Levi:** I don't. Fuck you. See you tomorrow Four Eyes.

As soon as enough time had passed I took the bag, went outside to my black Toyota Pickup and tossed the bag in the back. I started the engine and headed towards the bridge. The stereo was connected to my phone and played Paint it Black, the only Rolling Stones song that I actually enjoyed and I quietly sang along what cheered me up just a tiny bit on this godforsaken day.

I parked my car in front of the bridge and got out, climbing on the back tire to retrieve the bag that had slid into the middle of the open trunk. Leaning against a pole next to the bridge that was holding a sign „Welcome to Indian Shores" I waited for the guy that called me to show up and bring me my bag.  
It only took a few minutes of impatience and chewing on the safety pin on my lip until a white bus stopped at the bus stop and I could see two people with a black bag exiting the bus and making their way along the sidewalk, probably looking for me.

I straightened my back and squinted my eyes as they started walking towards me, trying to make out who they were since the sun was shining right into my eyes, making it almost impossible for me to see a thing. My eyes widened as they got close enough to recognize them and I almost wished for a car to come and run them over on the spot as they were in the middle of the road.

„No… Oh dear god not _you_!" I yelled out way too loud by accident. The two brats also seemed to have recognized me by now and I could see the boy stiffen and the girl switching into protective mode.

„M-Mister Ackerman…?" Eren (I finally decided to call them by their real names) stuttered, making me cringe at the overly german pronunciation of my name.

„Yes… Yay-gurr?", I huffed, stumbling over his name as I wanted to address him the same way he did. Damn it, that was embarrassing. I internally face palmed myself.

„It's Jäger, not Yay-Gurr", he corrected me and right away ducked his head seeing my gaze darken even more, if that was even possible.

„Tch. I don't give two shits, brat. Give me my bag!" I demanded and kicked his bag towards him with my shiny boot.

„It's a shame I have to share my last name with such a dick", Mikasa muttered, hoping I didn't hear it. But I did. Man, she was rude. But who am I to say that, I'm nothing better than her.

„What was that?!" I snapped at her and could see her twitch.

„N-nothing, that was nothing. Right, Mikasa?" Eren answered in her place and forced a laugh, his face turning a bright shade of red.

Cute…  
Wait, what?  
What the fuck was I thinking?  
I shook my head slightly to get rid of that train of though, going unnoticed by the pair in front of me.  
„My bag." I demanded once again and held out my hand.

„Oh oh yes, sure", the brunet's face turned even redder and he dragged my heavy bag up from behind him and handed it over to me.

„You should finally update the name tag on yours Mister Blank Blank, living in Blank", I hissed.

As I ripped the bag out of his grip, our hands touched ever so lightly yet I could still see that he shivered at the touch of my cold hand. My hands were always cold but I didn't mind. People always described me as cold from top to bottom, starting with my light grey eyes, continuing with my pale skin and ending with my coldhearted attitude I had towards literally everyone.  
Turning around on my heels I stomped off towards my car and chucked my bag in the open trunk.„Thanks", I muttered, remembering my manners. Yes, I had manners. I may not seem like it but I'm not a total ass 24/7.


	5. Chapter 5

**Eren's POV**

„Did he just say ‚thanks'?" I asked Mikasa in fluent German.

„I… think he did", she answered, sounding as surprised as me.

„I didn't expect that grumpy midget to have manners…"  
„Believe me, I'm just as impressed as you."

„Maybe he's not all that bad", I gave her a faint smile to which she responded with a raised eyebrow.

„He is." Mikes stated bluntly and picked up my bag. „Let's head back and just hope we never see that midget again, okay?"

I sighed and followed her back to the busstop to head back to the bungalow.

/

„We're baaaack!" I yelled as we entered the bungalow with one of the spare keys.

„Oh hey Eren, got your bag back?" Armin greeted us and I had to looks twice to actually recognize him. He had his shoulder long hair pulled back into a ponytail, some strands that were too long falling back into his face.

„Nice hairdo Armin", I complimented him making him blush.

„You think so? I wanted to experiment a bit, try something, you know… What about my fringe though?" He asked and pulled on his blonde fringe covering his forehead.

„Tried to put it back with bobby pins?" Mikes suggested.

„I don't have bobby pins…", Armin admitted, earning a giggle from my sister.

„I'll lend you some", she gave him a smile and disappeared into her room, probably searching for her bobby pins.

„So, back with your bag?" Armin asked again and I nodded.

„You won't believe who had it", I muttered and carried the bag into my room with Armin following me.

„Don't tell me…" He started with wide eyes.

„Grumpy Midget! Or rather, Mister Ackerman", I said, knelt down and raised my nose up high into the air. „What you looking at brat?"

Both Armin and I burst out laughing like maniacs at my impression of the ‚Grumpy Midget', causing a worried Mikasa to poke her head into my room.

„You two alright in there?" she asked, seeing me and Armin on the floor, holding our stomachs from laughing.

„No", I gasped for air, tears forming in my eyes.

„How dare you, Eren", Armin chuckled, trying to calm down form his laughing fit.

„What did he do?" she asked curiously and looked at me, expecting me to tell her the joke she missed.

I got back on my knees, parted my hair in the middle and tried to put on a stern face which failed miserably but she got the idea and also started chuckling.

„Eren, that's so rude", she tried to scold me but with her giggling it didn't come out as serious as she intended.

„Yet true", I added after I finally calmed down.

„I just hope I never have to see him, I won't be able to take him seriously after this", Armin said wiping a few tears away from his blushed cheeks.

„You always meet twice they say", I giggled and got up to sit on my bed.

„You already met him twice. So let's just hope you won't meet him a third time" Mikasa nodded and sat next to me

„Yeah, let's hope that…" I agreed but in my mind I kept thinking about him.

I always believe in the good in people, however cruel they may be and I bet there has to be a sad, broken man behind that I-don't-give-a-shit façade of his. As much as I knew that I should just brush it of and forget about him, he kept sneaking into my mind. I was curious, simply curious, I just wanted to know more about him, even if I can' stand him.

What's his first name?  
Where does he work?  
How old is he?  
What's his favorite food?  
His favorite song?  
Favorite book?

So much I wanted to know that he would probably rather chop my head off than telling me.

„MIKASA, ARMIN, FUCKFACE, PIZZA FOR DINNER?" Jeans voice ripped me out of my thoughts.

„GIVE US A SECOND!" I yelled back and me an my two friends made our way out of my room and into the kitchen where the rest of my friends had gathered around what probably was a leaflet from Dominos.

„I'll take this, this and this!" Sasha exclaimed and pointed at three servings on the leaflet.

„Sasha, that's a menu for 3. Each of them!" Connie shook his hand. „How can you even afford that much?"

„Connie!" Sasha pouted and Connie turned towards her with a raised eyebrow.

„Hey guys, can I take a look?" I asked and didn't even wait for an answer but shoved Jean out of the way to lean over the leaflet myself.

„Oi! I haven't decided yet!" He argued but I shoved him away again when he tried to get back into his place.

„You get a stack of hay, Horseface", I grinned at him and showed him my tongue.

It took us some time to finally decide what we wanted to get so when Annie finally called the delivery service to order our food, it had already gotten dark. I used the time until our food arrived to unpack my bag for real this time. My shirts went into the upper drawer of the dresser that was located under the window which had a nice view onto some palm trees growing between our neighbors and us. Some of my shirts were folded neatly which I would never do. I'm not actually a messy person but I'm not the tidiest either. Grumpy Ackerman Midget probably look them out and folded them.

Looking from left to right as if I feared to be observed, I raised the stack of folded shirts to my face and sniffed them.  
Smelled like… nothing.  
Kind of disappointed I put them into the drawer next to the other shirts. The remaining clothes quickly thrown into the other drawers and unpacking my toiletries I remembered that I hadn't even checked out the bathroom yet. We had two bathrooms and Armin, Mikasa, Connie and me will have to share one while Jean, Marco, Annie and Sasha will have to share the other one. I took the small blue bag with the stuff that needed to go to the bathroom and made my way through the hallway.

Our bathroom was a mess. Towels scattered on the floor, hot steam from someone who just took a shower still lingering in the air, toothpaste stains on the mirror. We really have to come up with a cleaning schedule.  
I decided to take a quick shower myself which almost turned out to be a long shower if the hot water hadn't run out and I jumped squealing out of the shower when the water turned ice cold all of the sudden. I quickly dried myself off and put my boxers back on, throwing the rest of my clothes into the laundry basket behind the door. Just as I left the bathroom, a cloud of steam following me, there was a knock on the door and Sasha right away ran screaming towards the door and threw it open.

 _The poor deliveryman_ , I thought. _Getting greeted by a maniac_.

„FOOD", I heard her yell and run back into the kitchen.

Connie seemed to be paying the delivery man, mumbling several excuses as he did before closing the door.

„Jeez, Sasha, you can't just scare the poor guy like that!" He giggled quietly and sat down at the big table.  
One by one everyone else gathered around the table and so did I.

„Jäger, we know you think you're sexy but I really don't want to see that", Jean sat down, theatrically looking away from me.

„Oh you know you love this you gay horse", I retorted and rubbed down my naked chest seductively. To my surprise I saw Jean blushing slightly and throwing a shy look at Marco whose face also went a shade of red.

„Eren, please!" Mikasa sighed and threw me a shirt.  
With a chuckle I put it on grabbed a slice of one of the two family sized pizzas we were going to share. We were chatting and laughing throughout dinner and deep into the night. This right here, spending time with my best friends while eating pizza in the middle of the night is what I could define as pure happiness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Levi's POV** _(The song featured in this chapter is Reluctant Heroes)_

I was just beginning to pack my bag for the beach when I heard a car honking outside my apartment. With a deep sigh I checked the clock above my TV; 1:45 PM.  
Stupid four eyed idiot, always too early.  
The car honked again.

„Fuck's sake, I'M COMING!" I yelled as I stepped outside on my balcony to see Hanji waiting in her grey Mercedes with our friend Petra sitting in the backseat.  
Hanji pulled down her window to wave and grin at me to which I replied with raising my middle finger.

I rushed back inside, quickly throwing a towel and shorts into my backpack even though I doubted we would go into the water, before I grabbed my keys and hurried downstairs. It was quite warm outside, warm enough for a t-shirt and shorts so that's what I had put on. A washed out Pink Floyd shirt and torn black jeans shorts. Thinking about it, I don't think I have any pair of jeans that weren't torn but hey, that's my style. As always I had my trademark bandana wrapped around my wrist. Wherever I went, a bandana was something I alway took with me. Around my wrist, around my head, around my neck, I don't care as long as I had it with me.

„Shitty Glasses, you're too early! Again!" I exclaimed angrily as I made my way towards the car.

I could hear music blasting but couldn't make out the song yet since Hanji pulled the window back up. As soon as I opened the passengers door the music hit me like a brick in the face.

„Where the fuck did you get that song from? Switch it off! NOW!" I sat down on the passengers seat and tried to find the AUX-cord with Hanji's phone was connected to the stereo. My fingers slid hastily over the stereo, desperate to find the cord just to find out that there probably was none.

„What's your problem? It's such a good song!" Hanji tried to calm me down but I was literally fuming.

Why you ask? The song that was playing was _my_ song. I wrote that shit. I played it on my guitar (the rest of the instruments were added in by the studio but you get what I mean). I sang it. I recorded it. You think I would be proud to hear that my friends enjoy it but there was a reason I never showed them any of my songs. To be honest, I was scared. I thought they wouldn't like it, that they would think that my music is shit. That would be as if someone insulted a painting of yours which you're quite proud of.  
The thing with music as your kind of art is though, that you instantly know if someone likes it or not, they don't even need to say anything. If they know the song yet never listen to it, that already means they don't like it. That's the reason none of my friends knew anything about the music I was making. They knew I was a musician but that was it.

Nevertheless I wasn't successful with my music. I just got my first song recorded which is why I was in New York the other day. I felt so violated that Hanji somehow got her hands onto the track, which was literally recorded two days ago. She just listened to it without my permission. She knew pretty well I didn't want my friends to listen to my music and how I hated to hear my own voice.

„H-hey Levi", a shy voice came from the backseat.

Oh yeah, Petra, I almost forgot she was there. I've known Petra since high school, same goes for Shitty Glasses and Eyebrows. Ever since I got to know that shy, little, strawberry blonde girl she was head over heels in love with me. Not that I didn't like that someone had a crush on me, it's just that it's so fucking awkward if someone who you like as a friend keeps asking you out, tries to kiss you or do other stuff at parties. Petra might seem shy now but once she's drunk she's like a completely different person. The worst part is, it only needs 2 sips of champagne for her to be tipsy and one glass for her to be drunk. So that means, she was drunk a lot.

You probably wonder why I never made a move on her, considering I really liked her, she's a damn pretty girl and her character is not all too bad. Well…  
I'm gay.  
Super gay.  
Not like rainbow, glitter and unicorns gay but still.

And Petra knows I'm gay.  
She found out before I came out to everyone else by walking in on me fucking a random dude whom I picked up at a gay bar. Most awkward moment in my life so far.

„Hi Petra", I grunted after I switched off the entire stereo since I could neither find an AUX-cord nor an eject button for the CD.

„What the hell, Levi?" Hanji argued and wanted to switch it back on but I slapped her hand away.

„No, you four eyed fuck! I told you a hundred times already that I don't want this!"

„But the song is sooooo cooooool! I can't understand why you want hide this masterpiece from us at all costs! Tell him, Petra!"

„I-It really is an amazing song, Levi." One could almost hear Petra blush when she said my name.

„Can we at least listen to it until the end? We haven't gotten there yet. Pretty pleaaase?", Hanji pleaded and looked at me with big puppy eyes.

„You know those puppy eyes don't work on me, especially not when it's you, Shitty Glasses." I hissed at her. „But there's no going back, you already know the song now so you might as well listen to it if you have to."  
Hanji squealed with happiness and I leaned back, crossing my arms in front of my chest and letting out an annoyed sigh. She started the engine and switched the stereo back on. The song started right away where it stopped.

 _-ould hear your voice  
_ _Remember the day we met  
_ _and it's painful for me  
_ _'cause nobody wants to die too fast_

I tried my best not to cringe at the sound of my voice. I was quite proud how the song turned out but that doesn't change the fact that hearing my own voice is horrendous. Probably everyone agrees with me when I say that hearing yourself sing is one of the most cringeworthy and awkward things ever.

 _Remember the day we dreamt  
_ _And it's painful for me  
_ _I could see your face  
_ _I could hear your voice_

The song came to a close and I thanked heavens for letting this torture end quickly.  
„Finally", I sighed and unplugged the AUX-cord that I had found by now from Hanji's phone and plugged it into mine.

„Congratulations Levi, your music is really good," Petra complimented me which I acknowledged with a short nod.

After a short drive, with now the Ramones playing in the car, we arrived at Erwin's house and Hanji honked once again just like when they picked me up, to notify Erwin we were there. He came running outside right away with a bag over his shoulder.

„S'up everyone? Hey, Levi!" He greeted me as he sat in the seat behind me and ruffled my hair.

„Not the hair, Eyebrows!" I snapped and tidied my now messy hair.

„Glad to see you too, Shorty", he grinned and if there hadn't been a seat between us I would have tried to strangle him, but instead just sat quietly in my seat, fixing my eyes onto the road as if I wanted to burn a hole into it just by staring.

„Aww, don't be so sulky", Hanji laughed pinching my cheek and right away earned a slap against her head for that.

„Shut up and drive already!" I groaned and redirected my death stare from the road towards her.

„Uhhh the infamous death stare à la Ackerman, better get going Hanji", Erwin laughed.  
Hanji started the car once again and the four of us finally headed to the beach.

/

The beach at Indian Rocks was completely deserted, just as it always was. Not too many tourists came here so the only ones visiting the beach were the ones living there. As Hanji parked the car, Petra jumped out almost immediately and ran towards the ocean, being the happy quirky self that she was. I was the last one to leave the car, throwing my rucksack over my shoulder and joining Erwin and Hanji who were waiting for me to catch up.

„Come on Levi, hurry up!" Hanji was jumping up and down on one spot, her brown ponytail swaying from left to right and up and down.  
We made our way towards the ocean as well, following the footprints that Petra had left in the sand.

„The looser goes swimming!" I grunted at Hanji and Erwin and sprinted ahead, right away followed by Erwin who took only one step where I had to take two. He was incredibly tall and whenever he stood next to me he appeared to be almost twice my size which always makes me look like a pathetic little midget.

„Looks like you're loosing to me, Eyebrows!" I taunted, slightly turning my head towards him.

„Oh am I?" He chuckled and tried to push me but I quickly dived away so his hand pushed into nothing, making him stumble and fall behind.

„WAIT FOR ME GUYS!" Hanji blurted, finally gaining up to us and shoved the stumbling Erwin out of her way.

When I reached Petra, who stood there smiling and shaking her head, I yelled: „FIRST, YOU LOSERS!" and fell down on my knees in the sand gasping for air.

„You guys are so childish", she giggled.  
I wanted to give her a witty comeback but I was completely out of breath from that sprint. Gosh I need to work out again.

„SECOND!" Hanji shouted and straightened her ponytail that had gotten all loose from running.

„Third", a grumpy Erwin muttered when he also finally jogged up to the imaginary finish line.

„YOU GOTTA GO SWIMMING, BIG GUY!" Hanji exclaimed and clapped her hands in excitement.

„Oh come on guys, that's not fair! Hanji pushed me, she clearly cheated!" he argued but I shook my head.

„Tch, don't be a sore loser! You were going to push me as well, so that makes you a cheater too", I scoffed and got back on my feet, brushing off the sand from my jeans and knees.

„So…" Petra joined in. „Who has to go swimming now?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Eren's POV**

„Beach! Beach! We're going to the beach!" Jean, Connie, Sasha and me chanted while we waited for the others to finish packing their bags so we could finally head off to the beach.

It had been a while since I've been to the beach. I mean, sure, there was ocean and also a tiny bit of beach here and there in New York but that wasn't the real beach feeling, you know what I mean? So today I would finally go to the beach again. It was relatively warm here, still t-shirt weather, so we all decided yesterday that on our day off (it was a Sunday) we would pay the nearby beach a visit.

„I'm ready!" Armin exited his room, his hair back into a ponytail again.

„Hurry up everyone! Even slowpoke Armin is ready to go already!" Jean yelled and knocked on the door to his and Marco's room.

„I'm coming, okay!" Marco's voice came through the door.

„Heard that? He's _coming_ ", I chuckled and nudged the big horse into the side with my elbow.

„You fucking-" Jean raised a hand to slap me but Mikasa, who had left her room by now as well, caught his hand midair.

„Don't." She stated simply and stood next to me.

Jean just grumbled incoherent words in response, folded his arms and looked away.  
When Annie and Marco had finally packed everything and joined us in the hallway, we all hopped onto the same bus me and Mikasa took yesterday to retrieve my luggage from Mr Ackerman.

It pained me to admit it but I had a dreamt about him the other night. It was nothing too exciting. Just him staring at me with his ice cold, bored gaze and throwing insults at me. „Fucktart, Jerk, Dickhead, Brat, Stupid Hipster." He's such an asshole… My hatred my affection towards him both grew equally every time I thought about him. I just hoped I never had to see him again so my feelings don't turn into some weird crush thing mixed with feelings of despise and hatred. That would be one unhealthy kind of affection right there.

It took us around 40 minutes to get to the beach, minus the time we spent waiting for the bus to come. As soon as the beach was in sight, me and my friends jumped out of our seats and got ready to leave the bus. The doors opened and the eight of us leaped off the bus and ran towards the beach, past a small parking lot where only a grey Mercedes was parked. Connie and I were the first ones to reach the sand.

„BEACH!" I yelled and jumped face first into one of the big dunes.

„You're such a dork, Eren", Connie giggled and helped me back up.

I flicked my hair to get rid of the sand that got caught in it and brushed my hands down my body to roughly clean my clothes. Just when I was free from most of the sand, Jean pushed me over and I landed right back in the dune.

„You're gonna pay for that!" I gritted my teeth and chased after him after I put my rucksack down.

„Well you need to catch me first!" He yelled and ran towards the water, me right on his heels.

„BOYS!" I heard Mikasa shout after us but we didn't care.  
With a loud _splash_ both Jean and me landed in the water.

„HOLY FUCK THAT'S COLD!" Jean exclaimed and got back up, holding out a hand to help me up as well. How nice of him.

„Thanks", I muttered, grabbed his hand and he pulled me up.

„Be glad that my phone is in the bag me and Marco share", Jean said and took off his soaked shirt.  
I copied him, wrung it out and then chucked it into his face.

„We wouldn't have gotten wet in the first place if it wasn't for you", I giggled, earning a soft punch on my shoulder.

„Fuck you, Asshole."

„Fuck you too, Horseface."

„Hey, Eren…?" Jean asked slowly, putting on his serious face.

„What is it?" I asked back and looked at him with a questioning look on my face. When he addresses me with my actual name, he must have something serious to say.

„You… you wouldn't hate me if… you know… if I was gay…" he mumbled and looked down at his feet.

„Are you gonna confess to me now?" I giggled, trying to ease the tension that was building up between us.

„Pff, yeah as if, you doofus", he couldn't help but giggle a bit himself. His gaze wandered off into the distance where our friends had gathered on top of a dune and sat down.

„It's Marco, isn't it?" I asked carefully and felt a smile creep onto my face when Jean slowly nodded.  
We may say that we hate each other and that we are enemies but for some weird reasons we also were good friends. Neither of us would ever admit that though so we just keep on insulting each other to forget about the fact that we actually like the other.

„Oh why the fuck am I telling you this." He suddenly shook his head and pushed me, making his way back to the dune to join the rest.

„Hah, I knew it. Gay-dar, you never fail me", I chuckled quietly and followed him.

„Ok guys, who's up for some fun?" Connie asked and opened his bag, revealing a blue volleyball.

„If I can keep eating, I'm in", Sasha answered, chewing on a pizza slice we had left over from last night.

„No Volleyball please", Armin whined when Connie threw the ball at him.

„Nah, I'm not a big fan either. How about piggy in the middle?" I suggested.

„How old are we? Five?" Jean rolled his eyes bus apart from him everyone seemed to be okay with it.  
„Piggy in the middle it is then", Annie said and got up, taking the ball out of Armin's hands, who seemed slightly scared, knowing that he sucks at ball games.

Connie and me hurried down the dune and prepared the field for the game by drawing a big circle in the sand.

„Okay, who's the piggy?" Sasha asked when her and the rest joined us.

„Always the one asking", Annie answered her question and shoved Sasha into the middle of the circle.

„Heey, not fair!" Sasha argued but it was of no use so she just accepted her fate.

I let my gaze wander along the ocean when I walked to the outside of the circle to take my position when I noticed a group of three, maybe four people splashing around in the water, about 100 meters away from us.

„Look at that Jean, and you were such a pussy saying that the water was cold", I laughed and pointed at the small group of people I just spotted.

„Well, it _is_ cold when you get thrown in without a warning!" Jean retorted and looked where I was pointing. „It's so weird that this beach is so deserted. But at least we're not the only ones here."

„True point" I shrugged and squinted my eyes, trying to make out the few figures playing in the water. „Oh shit…nooooo."

„What is it, Eren?" Armin, who stood next to me, asked.

„I think I might have been cursed", I sighed and my friend threw me a confused look.

„Cursed?" he asked and I just pointed towards the people in the water once again.

A brown haired girl with her hair pulled up into a ponytail, a short blonde girl accompanied by a bulky giant with also blonde hair and a black haired, quite small looking man were running around in the ocean, splashing each other with water. The black haired man mostly just standing there, watching the others but once or twice he would get a slash in the face and would right away pay his attackers back.

„The curse of the midget", I muttered and could see Armin gasp quietly.

„Are you sure?" he asked and looked over to where I was pointing.

„No doubt about it", I shook my head in disbelief. „Why always me?"

„Aww, has little Jäger spotted his boyfriend once again?" Jean must have overheard my conversation with Armin.

„Oh shut up, Jean" I rolled my eyes at him. „I just wish to be as far away as one can be from this guy."

„Ignore him", Mikasa added and caught the ball that Annie had thrown her. „Let's just play the game okay?"

We were ten minutes into the game and I knew it had to come at some point; I was the piggy. Chasing after the ball that was thrown over my head like a stupid dog, Jean was the one to throw now.

„Weren't you the one who said that sometimes love needs a little push to happen? Go fetch!" Jean grinned mischievously, dropped the ball midair and gave it a proper kick so it came flying over my head and far away from our circle, right towards… him. „Better run for it if you don't want to be the piggy anymore."

All of us watched the ball in silence as if flew across the beach and landed in the water right next to Mr Ackerman and his friends. The small group turned around as they heard the ball fall into the water and I could almost feel his death stare on me when the black haired man looked up to where the ball came from.

„Now that was just unnecessary." Mikasa looked angrily over at Jean.

„Oh whatever", I sighed as I jogged out of the circle to get the ball.

It was a rule we made up that if no one catches the ball, the piggy and the last one to touch the ball have to race for it and the one holding the ball in their hands first had won. Since Jean didn't seem to bother going after the volleyball, I had to go on my own to retrieve it.

„Stupid", I muttered to myself and kicked my foot into the sand, watching as the sand went flying into different directions.  
In my mind I started playing out the conversation that I was about to have or not have.  
 _He would probably just insult me again like usual. That guy is kinda scary to be honest. He wouldn't hurt me would he? Would he hold himself back since his friends were there? Are they even his friends? Sheesh, what am I going to say? Just a „Sorry, my friend accidentally kicked it too far", grab the ball and run for it? Am I going to say anything at all?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Levi's POV**

„So we meet again, you little shit", I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest as Eren approached me, obviously twitching when I addressed him.

Oh how I had wished to never see this brat again but there he was, an awkward smile plastered on his face, hands in the pockets of his swim shorts, wearing the same Indie-Band shirt he wore the day before and just slowly sneaking his way back into my life. I just hoped he would be gone as fast as he came.

„M-mister Ackerman…", He faked his surprise. He had clearly noticed me already, just as I had noticed him.

„Oh my god is that the boy? The boy with your bag? What did you call him again? Indie-Ana K? I can see why!" Hanji squealed and had this insane flicker in her eyes when ran out of the water towards him. „I've heard about you! You're supposed to be really horrible!"

„I-I'm sorry, I ju-just wanted to get our ball…" Eren's voice was almost just a whisper.

„Take it then and fuck off", I rolled my eyes. Stupid brat, why can't I just go on with my life without him turning up all the fucking time?

„Aw don't be so rude, Levi", Petra giggled, picked up the blue volleyball and handed it to the boy who stood there like a lost puppy; Head ducked between his shoulders, slowly leaning away from the four eyed idiot who was inspecting him like a lab-rat.

„Levi? Is that your name?", Eren leaned sideways to look past Hanji and right at me.

„Yeah, got a problem with that?" I spat and turned my back to him. „Just take the fucking ball and leave us alone. Go back to your weirdass friends to play fetch again like fucking five-year-olds."

„We may be playing piggy in the middle but-" Eren started to defend himself but Hanji cut him off.

„You guys are playing piggy in the middle?" Her voice getting higher with every word she said. „Can we play, too?"

„NO!" I turned back around and shot her a furious look which she totally ignored.

„Don't be such a party pooper", Erwin joined the conversation laughing. „Come on, you can at least try to have fun for once."

„Yeah, come on, Levi! Pleaaaaase?" Petra jumped up to me and grabbed my arm.

„No!" I repeated and waded out of the water. „Not with this dipshit and his friends!"

„It's three against one, shorty. We will go play piggy in the middle!" Hanji decided and clapped her hands in excitement.

„I-I don't know if my friends are okay with tha-" Eren wanted to argue but Hanji cut him off once again.

„They won't mind! I'm Hanji by the way!" She held out a hand which the boy slowly took. Bad mistake. That maniac which I call my friend didn't just shake the boy's hand, she shook his entire body along with it. Just watching that almost made me laugh. Almost.

„I'm Petra", the girl holding onto my arm for dear life sang and gave Eren one of her shiny white smiles.

„Erwin," Erwin's voice came from behind me. „And this shorty here is Levi, no need to call him Mister Ackerman anymore."  
I rammed my elbow into his stomach, making him squirm and bend over.

„Was that really necessary?" He whined in more acted than actual pain.

„Tch! Yes it was, Eyebrows." I said with a monotone voice.

„Come on, let's get going, I wanna play!" Hanji giggled excitedly, grabbed the still quite confused Eren by the arm and dragged him with her, heading towards his group of friends who were waiting for him to return while Erwin, Petra and me followed them slowly.  
Our clothes were still drenched and a bit of sand stuck to the rim of my jeans. I tried to brush it of but it just got onto my hands then instead. I had almost forgotten how much I hated sand because it just gets everywhere and if you think you finally got rid of it you find some more in your underwear or whatever.

I have to admit, Mikasa's face when Eren came back with my friends and me in tow was priceless. Her jaw literally dropped as she stared at me who reluctantly got pushed forward by Erwin.

„Nicht dein Ernst, oder?" Mikasa exclaimed at Eren and everyone gave her a confused look, including Hanji, Petra, Erwin and me as we had no clue what she just said.

„Mikasa, English! For the sake of them", Eren pointed at us. „They asked if they could join us."

„Tch, I never wanted to", I scoffed and crossed my arms.

„Oh why don't you just leave then and let us be?!" Mikasa snapped and I was about to smack her if Erwin hadn't held me back.

„Oh shut it, Scarf Cobain!" I rolled my eyes. „Do you even ever take that scarf off? It's 90° out here."

„Pah, I can take it off and strangle you with it, if you like!"  
„Calm down, both of you",a blonde boy with a pony tail stepped in between us, his thick german accent making me cringe.

„ _Er_ ist doch das Arschloch hier! Er soll sich bloß verpissen sonst kann er was erleben!" Mikasa was raging while her friends just stood around a big circle in the sand, not really knowing what to do or how to react.

The blond boy gently pushed Mikasa away from the circle and up a dune where a pile of bags was dropped quite carelessly. I could hear them argue but I couldn't be bothered listening to them.

„So you must be the grumpy midget, I guess?" A tall guy with blond and brown hair who was standing next to me asked and eyed me from top to bottom. I remembered him from the plane, the guy that got hit in the face by the chocolate bar. He looked even horsier up close.

„Who are you to ask? I didn't know they allowed horses on this beach!" I hissed at him and his face turned deep red.

„Umm why don't we just start playing?" Petra laughed awkwardly, knowing that the longer we talked, the angrier I would get.

„Yusss but I wanna know you guys' names first!" Hanji grinned and looked around the new faces.

„Oh, right" Eren nodded and pointed at each of his friends while introducing them. „These are Sasha, Connie, Annie, Marco, Jean, the two up on the dune are Mikasa and Armin and I'm Eren."

„I'm Hanji, nice to meet you!" She ran around the circle shaking hands with everyone.

„I'm Petra."

„Erwin… and this is Levi", Erwin introduced me when I stayed silent and just eyed each of Eren's friends with my death stare.

„Nice to meet you", the brown haired girl named Sasha smiled and bit into a sandwich.

„Tch", I grunted and flicked my tongue along my safety pin piercing. „Are we going to play now or what?"

After they quickly explained the rules to us, including some they made up to make the game more challenging, we started with the Horse being in the middle. The game turned out to be quite fun, yet I would never openly admit that to anyone. Mikasa and her blondie friend had joined us again, standing as far away from me as possible while she thew me an evil glance every now and then.  
We played that stupid game for around 30 minutes until one of the boys, Connie I believe it was, decided that it was time for what they called ‚K.O.-Round'. Meaning that if you didn't catch the ball, you're out. So no one stood inside of the circle anymore and we would just throw the ball at each other.  
Boring.

Blondie boy Armin was the first one that got k.o.-ed, followed by Petra and Jean-Horse, who only lost because Eren literally just dropped the ball and stated that Jean didn't catch it. That wasn't quite fair but hey, why should I care. In the end, Eren and me were the last ones standing, mostly because no one dared to throw me the ball out of fear that I might rip their heads off.  
I just stared at Eren with my usual cold and bored expression, waiting for him to make a move.

„I want to be done here before tomorrow, you know", I sighed and observed my opponent, who was just staring at me as if I was some sort of alien.  
The sun was already slowly sinking into the ocean, turning everything a fiery shade of red and orange. Our shadows had grown long and slender and reached across the beach as if they desperately tried to get away from us. It was quite a beautiful view yet I didn't waste my time admiring the sunset but instead just stared at Eren who in return just stared at me as well.

„Guys, I know this is romantic as shit but can you please finish this?" Jean's voice startled me and I twitched, hoping that nobody noticed it.

„Not my fault if Yay-gurr doesn't get to the point. I'm outta here." I turned on my heels and marched back to where I had left my bag.

„LEVI, WAIT", Hanji came running after me, followed by Erwin and Petra.

„What do you want, Shitty Glasses?" I muttered.

„You can't just leave! We have to find out who wins! If you leave, that's as if you'd surrender!" She tried her best to persuade me. „The great Levi Ackerman doesn't surrender, does he?"

„Tch, I didn't surrender, you four eyed idiot. I'm just fed up with this shit okay? I'm 27 for fuck's sake, not five!" I clenched my fists as I talked.

„We're sorry", Petra admitted. „We shouldn't have made you play that stupid game with the others…"

„Oh shut it", I groaned at her. „I'm going home."

/

Hanji had insisted to give me a lift back home but I had refused. No way in hell am I going to sit in that stupid car with her again. So I ended up walking home; I didn't live too far from the beach so I didn't mind. I used the time walking home to sort out my thoughts and to calm down again. Everything went wrong since I came back from New York. That stupid Eren brat ruined two days in a row and I could bet it hadn't been the last time I had seen this little shit and his companions.

I angrily kicked a rock across the street and turned around the corner. A white bus drove past me and I looked up, watching as it drove by. Through the darkened windows I could see a boy with brown hair, chatting excitedly with a blonde boy next to him.  
Eren.

I grumbled some insults and turned away, walking towards my apartment building.  
Fucking asshat, can he for once _not_ turn up?

I kicked the door to my apartment open and slammed it shut once I was inside. Luckily my neighbors where on holiday so no one would complain about the noise.  
I quickly disappeared into my bathroom to take a shower, taking of my now dry clothes and tossed them into the laundry basket. I didn't even notice that the dark blue bandana I used to have around my wrist was gone.

* * *

 _(A/N - Hey there, just a quick author note to say thanks to everyone reading this story. feel free to leave reviews!_  
 _Yes, I know that I made Levi the biggest asshole ever but it he will calm his shit quite soon._  
 _updates are going to take longer from now on since I had already written these 8 chapters in advance plus I'll try to make the chapters longer so it's gonna take me some time to write them._

 _until then,_  
 _CheeZy out)_


	9. Chapter 9

**Eren's POV**

 ** _(smut ahead)_** _(A/N No, you didn't skip a chapter by accident. The sudden time skip is intended)_

„I fucking hate you", He hissed and I could feel his hot breath against my neck.

My head had fallen backwards and my eyes were squeezed shut while my naked back was pressed up against his bare chest. I was a squirming and moaning mess, sitting on his lap while he thrusted his hips up and kept me pushed down on his erection. One of his ice cold arms was wrapped around my torso to guide me up and down in perfect sync with his thrusts while he used his other hand to cover my mouth so that I don't make too much noise.  
A mixture of pleasure and pain shot through my entire body every time he thrust his hips up and my fingernails dug deep into my leg as my right hand sneaked up and around his neck, feeling the prickly short hairs on the back of his head.

„Mmmbmm mmlmb!" I made an attempt of expressing what I desired but failed horribly since the palm of his hand was still pressed tightly against my lips.

„What is it?" He muttered, trying to keep his cool but I could hear that he was lost in the pleasure, his voice dripping with lust and desire.

„M-more!" was the only thing I managed to stammer between a few quick gasps for air after he moved his hand from my lips and into my hair, grabbing it tightly.

„I don't give a shit about what you want", his deep voice whispered right into my ear before he released my torso from his cold embrace and pushed me face first down on the mattress.

I let out a deep groan when he pulled completely out of me, leaving me silently begging him to fill me up again. He quickly steadied himself on his knees behind me, his hands on my hips, but he seemed to hesitate. Lifting myself up from the mattress with my arms, now being on all my fours, I turned my head to get a peak of him but at that exact moment he rammed his cock back into me.

Pleasure shot through me like a lightning bolt when he hit something inside of me that sent my mind spinning. I never felt anything like this before. A loud moan escaped my lips, my head dropped down, my arms gave in and I fell back onto the mattress.

„Levi!", I cried out as he started pounding in and out of me.

„I. Fucking. Hate. You. Stupid. Brat." With every word he said he thrusted deeply into my aching ass and hit the spot from before over and over again.

My right hand sneaked down my abs towards my own throbbing erection that just begged to be touched.  
„Don't you dare to get your disgusting jizz on my sheets", Levi panted.

His loud breath and his insulting little talks were the only things coming from is lips the whole time, completely opposite to me. I was a moaning, whining, squirming mess, I made sounds I hadn't even known I was capable of.

„I-I'm co-coming", I squirmed and squeezed my eyes shut. No way I could hold it much longer.

„Oh no you don't!" Levi hissed, pulled out, flipped me on my back and entered me again.

My eyes shot open and my legs automatically wrapped around his waist as I stared up at his pale face, a hint of pink on his cheeks and small beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His lips were parted slightly while he kept his usual stern expression but, believe me, I've never seen anything sexier in my entire life.  
Levi slowly picked up his pace again and dipped his head down to crash his lips against mine. It was a sloppy, openmouthed kiss with our tongues entangling and fighting for dominance. The safety pin on his lip felt weird against my skin as he bit my bottom lip and tugged on it roughly.

My back arched off the bed when I felt my orgasm well up inside me and I could have sworn I saw him smirk slightly right before I closed my eyes and let my orgasm crash over me like a giant wave of fire, drowning me in its euphoria. I could hear something sounding like a moan coming from Levi when my whole body tensed up and started shaking, my muscles tightening around his dick. I tugged harshly on my own erection, big drips of jizz leaking from the head and dribbling down onto my abdomen.

I wanted to scream his name, yell out my pleasure, but every sound I wanted to let out got stuck in my throat and left me mute, my mouth hanging open uselessly and my head leaning back, presenting my bare neck to him.

„Fuck", I heard him whisper against the skin of my neck while he continued to fuck me relentlessly, obviously on the brink of his own climax as well by now. „I hate you but you feel so fucking good!"

I forced my eyes open just in time to see him throw his head back, his black hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. He gritted his teeth and let out a hiss when he thrusted his hips forward, causing me to yelp and bring my arms up and around his torso since my fading orgasm was still twitching through me like tiny electro shocks. My fingernails dug into the pale skin on his back while I watched his face distort in pleasure.

One last thrust;

And he collapsed on top of me, both of us gasping for air.  
„Could you be so nice and let go of me now?" He muttered after a few seconds and I noticed that my arms and legs were still holding him in a tight embrace so I slowly untangled my legs from around his waist and let my hands slide off his back.

„Thanks." He propped himself up on his arms and looked down at me, his face back to its usual cold and bored expression. I swallowed audibly and bit down on my lip as I observed his face, trying to read what was going on inside of his head.

A quiet whimper escaped my lips when he pulled out of me, leaving my ass feeling empty and weird.

„Clean yourself up, you look disgusting." He grunted after he got off the bed, pulled the condom off and chucked it into the bin, then pointing at a pack of tissues on the wooden nightstand next to the bed.

I obeyed his order, pulling out a tissue and dabbing the drips of cum on my abs with it. As soon as I was done he tossed me my underwear and jeans. The remains of my torn Kraftklub t-shirt were still scattered on the floor, together with Levi's dark jeans and boxers.

„Sorry 'bout your shirt… Tch, I actually did you a favor. It looked like shit", Levi scoffed and turned around to face me. „What are you waiting for? Get dressed and leave already!"

„What…?" I asked confused and wanted to sit up properly but a sharp pain shot from my ass up my spine, making me groan in agony.

„Gosh, don't be such a baby. Aren't you used to this?" He rolled his eyes and picked his boxers up to put them on. „This is not going to be a one night stand if that's what you think. It was just a fuck. Now can you please get the fuck out of my apartment?"

„Actually, no. I'm not used to this", I mumbled and tried to ignore the pain as I struggled to put my clothes back on.

„You're usually a top?" He asked me with a tiny bit of amusement lingering in his tone.

„No." I stared down at the messed up bedsheets.

„So then why… oh… oh god don't tell me you were a virgin!"

„And what if I was, huh?"

„No fucking way! Oh my god, you stupid brat! Next thing you tell me is that you're not even 18 yet!"

„I'm 19, so don't worry."

„Yeah wow, at least something. Now get dressed and leave, I can't stand to see your fucking face any longer!"

I put my pants on, buttoned them up and got up from his bed, the pain in my ass was almost unbearable but I tried to ignore it the best I could. Levi pointed his hand towards his bedroom door after I picked up the two pieces or fabric that used to be my shirt, motioning for me to leave.

„You know where the door is", he grunted and without one last look at him I opened the door, made my way through his hallway and left the apartment.  
I slowly stumbled along the sidewalk, heading for the bus station. It was hard to walk, yet alone stand upright but I somehow managed. The sun was already rising and while I waited at the bus stop for the first bus to come, everything on my mind was asking one question;

 _‚How did it come to this?'_

* * *

 _(Sunday evening at the beach, short after Levi and his friends left)_

 _„Hey, what is this?" Armin asked and bent down to pick something up that looked like a tiny snake covered in sand._

 _„Ew, is that a snake?" Annie looked at the thing in Armin's hand with disgust.  
_

 _„No… it's a bandana…" Armin answered and brushed the sand off of it.  
_

 _„Isn't that Levi's? I saw him wearing one like this around his wrist", I added and took the bandana from Armin's hands.  
_

 _„Salt and burn it, maybe that's gonna keep him away from you", Armin joked and I couldn't help but giggle.  
_

 _„Will do", I chuckled. „Let's go home before it's too dark, shall we?"_

 _/_

 _I didn't follow Armin's ridiculous advice to salt and burn the bandana. Mikasa though actually insisted I did it, just out of the fact that we would burn some of Levi's property. But I just kept it on my nightstand. I knew for sure that this hadn't been the last time I saw him so maybe I could give it back to him.  
_

 _It was Friday by now, we finally felt like home in our bungalow and some of us had already found work. This was a work and travel trip after all so we shouldn't just sit on our asses all day long. Annie and Armin found a job at a hotel, Mikasa and Sasha got to work as waitresses in a restaurant and I helped out in a music-store. After Jean got hired as a bartender at a gay night club he confessed to us that him and Marco had a relationship. Everyone was happy for them, including me, so I think it won't be too bad to come out to my friends after all.  
_

 _Well, since it was Friday and neither of us had to work the next day, Armin had come to my room to ask me if we wanted to go clubbing. I sure as hell didn't turn that offer down and just wanted to go ask my sister when Armin held me back.  
_

 _„Eren, I was thinking… Maybe we could go to… you know, the club where Jean works?" He admitted and blushed a deep crimson.  
_

 _„You wanna go gay clubbing?" I giggled and Armin's face turned even redder.  
_

 _„Yeah… whenever we all go out it's never your type of club, you know what I mean? Almost everyone there is straight so…"  
_

 _„Well, if you can convince Mikasa that you and me will be going somewhere alone, without her freaking out, I'm in!"  
_ _Getting rid of my sister was easier than expected. Sasha and Annie had forced her to join their ‚girls night' which meant cheesy movies, popcorn, spa and gossip. Not really her kind of thing but I was glad Sasha had managed to talk her into it._

 _We looked up which bus we had to take and how we would get to the club from the stop so we found it easily. It was already dark but not too late yet, only around 10 PM so we just had to follow the music and gay couples who wanted to have a fun night just like we did. Luckily there was no one who checked our ID's when we entered. We may have been legal adults back home in Germany but here und the US we were under age.  
_

 _The club was't too big but it wasn't small either. It had a small stage where a DJ was mixing up the music. I didn't know the song that was playing, I usually don't listen to that kind of music but it had a nice beat._ _  
_

 _There was a small crowd of people on the dance floor, men and women, dancing along to the techno-like song, some seducing their dance partners and others just dancing alone. Every stool at the bar was taken and I could spot Jean hurrying from left to right behind it, handing out shots and cocktails.  
_

 _„Come on, let's dance!" Armin yelled over the loud music and tugged on my sleeve, pulling me on the dance floor.  
_

 _„Shouldn't we say hi to Jean first?" I yelled back at him and started to move awkwardly along to the music.  
_

 _„Since when do you care about Jean? Plus he doesn't even know about us being… you know, yet. You really wanna come out to him like this?" Armin laughed and I had to agree. I was here to have fun, not to see Jean and reveal that I'm a gay little dude pretending to be straight._

 _Both Armin and me ended up dancing with several different guys, some around our age and some way older than us. I didn't mind until one of them started touching me. It felt so wrong and weird, I slapped away his hands and walked off, searching for Armin in the crowd. He was over at one of the black walls, talking to two girls.  
_

 _„Yo Armin, want something to drink?" I raised my voice so he could hear me.  
_

 _„Yes please, can you bring me a coke?" He asked and the two girls shot him an amused glance.  
_

 _„Okay, be right back!" I made my way through the increasing number of people on the dance floor and went over to the bar and sat down on the only stool that_ _was empty._

 _„Hey Eren! What are you doing here?" Jean asked when he came up to me to take my order.  
_

 _„Take a guess, horseface!" I rolled my eyes and Jean smirked in return.  
_

 _„I_ knew _it!" He laughed and gave me a pat on the head. „Welcome to the gay world. What can I get you, idiot?"  
_

 _„A coke and a very_ non-alcoholic _orange juice" I said, pronouncing the ‚non-alcoholic' very obviously. He would know what I want. I wasn't allowed to drink yet and Jean was the only one out of our group to be 21 already so he would always get us some vodka which we would mix with orange juice when we were out partying.  
_

 _As soon as I had what I wanted I paid for the drinks and shoved myself through the dancing people, careful not to spill anything, to rejoin Armin and the two girls. Yet when I arrived back where I had left them, they were gone.  
_

 _„Fuck you Armin, where did you go?" I muttered and stood on my tippy toes to look for him but instead of Armin's blonde ponytail I spotted another blonde fella, big and bulky and not very talented in dancing. I almost didn't believe what I saw but there was Erwin, the giant friend of Levi's, dancing away on the dance floor. He was one of the last persons I expected to see here.  
_

 _The crowd in front of me cleared up a bit and I could catch a better view of Erwin. But what I saw almost made me drop my drinks:  
_ _A short, black haired man rocking his hips sexily from side to side, one of his hands raised into the air, the other one resting on his waist._

 _Levi._

 _And holy shit did he look sexy._

 _I stood there completely dumbfounded, just staring at the two men. They were facing each other and Erwin had placed his hands on Levi's waist, guiding him along to the rhythm.  
_

 _„Hey, Eren?!" A hand waved in front of my eyes and I tore my gaze away from Levi and stared into Armin's ocean blue eyes.  
_

 _I handed him the coke without a word and looked back to Levi and Erwin who had started a make-out session by now. I felt like vomiting at the view. My hatred and affection for the raven haired man were burning in my chest and I took a deep breath to get rid of the pain spreading in my guts but it was of no use.  
_

 _„What's so interesting over there?" Armin asked and tried to make out what I was staring at.  
_

 _„I think I need something stronger than this." I shook my head slowly and downed my Vodka-Orange-juice mix. „I'll be back in a minute."  
_ _Once again I shoved past the dancing crowd of people and over to the bar. Jean was still there, serving drinks to men, women and people whose gender I couldn't make out.  
_

 _„Gimme something strong", I told him when he rushed past me.  
_ _He came back to me a minute later with two shot glasses in his hand and put them down in front of me.  
_

 _„Guess you found out who's also here, huh?" Jean chuckled and I looked up from the shots and into his face. „Those are on me."  
_

 _„Yeah… thanks." Was all I managed to say before Jean left again.  
_

 _I took one of the shots and gulped it down, the strong alcohol burning its way down my throat, and wanted to gulp down the second one but when I reached for it, someone snatched it away. Looking up, I saw a black haired man with a safety pin through his bottom lip downing my second shot.  
_

 _„I don't know how old you are Yay-gurr, but I'm certain you're too young to drink." Levi grunted and put down the glass again.  
_

 _„What the fuck, asshole?!" I exclaimed and stood up, my hands balled into fists.  
_

 _„Woah there, someone's given himself liquid courage. Tch." He sneered and crossed his arms, eyeing me from top to bottom. „What the fuck are you doing here anyways?"  
_

 _„I'm a free man in a free country and I can go wherever the fuck I want!" I snapped back at him.  
_

 _„Tch, you're hardly a man, you little shit!" It seemed to amuse him to make fun of me but I won't let myself get ridiculed once again.  
_

 _„Who are you to speak? You're hardly taller than a toddler!" I straightened my back, standing about one foot taller than him.  
_

 _I could see his gaze darken before he grabbed me by the collar of my white Kraftklub shirt and dragged me towards the nearest wall, pushing me violently against it and pinning me up by my shoulders. I grabbed each of his wrists with my hands and tried to push him away from me but he wouldn't even budge.  
_

 _„Listen well you stupid brat", he started but fell quiet when he saw the blue bandana I had wrapped around my wrist just the way he had had it the other day._ _„Where did you get this?"_

 _„I… uh…" All the courage I had inside of me only a second ago vanished and fear took its place instead.  
_

 _„Tell me!" He practically yelled at me and I ducked my head between my shoulders.  
_

 _„You lost it at the beach, I thought I should keep it in case I run into you again so I can give it back to you", I explained quickly, my voice trembling.  
_

 _He narrowed his eyes and seemed to think whether he should accept my explanation.  
_ _„You know, Indie-Ana K… I really hate you", Levi's voice was almost just a whisper and it was hard to hear what he said with the loud music in the background.  
_

 _„Well that's old news, grumpy midget", I gave back and tried to counter his cold stare.  
_

 _„Fuck you", he muttered and before either of us knew what was really happening, our lips crashed together.  
_

 _It was a wild kiss, our lips moving passionately against each other. I felt his tongue flick across my bottom lip, asking me politely for entrance so our tongues could collide. This kiss was so wrong and so right at the same time, I was starting to feel dizzy with arousal and disgust.  
_

 _„My place, now!" Levi whispered when we parted for a second to gasp for air.  
_

 _I hesitated with my response because my mind seemed to scream yes and no at the same time but I finally gave him a short nod. We left the club, got in his black car and right away continued to make out. I had stopped thinking about the arguments I had against this whole thing. All I knew is that I wanted Levi. And I wanted him now._

* * *

I kicked a pebble across the street. Stupid bus, why don't they drive at night?! After thinking about everything that happened this night, I really didn't know how to explain myself once I got back home. Why had I been gone all night? Why didn't I tell Armin where I had gone? Why was I coming home half naked? While I started making up poor excuses for these questions, I felt my phone buzz in the pocket of my jeans. Fumbling it out, it buzzed once again. I had received 23 messages from my sister, 6 from Armin, one from Jean and the most recent two from a number I didn't know.

I quickly scrolled through Mikasa's texts, all of them telling me to get home as soon as possible and to tell her where I was gone and if I was still alive. Same thing with Armin and Jean. When I opened the last two messages from the unknown number, I let out a sarcastic laugh.

„Yeah right", I muttered as I read the texts.

 **Unknown Number:** Eren, this is Levi.

 **Unknown Number:** Come back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Levi's POV**

I right away face palmed myself as soon as I sent the two messages.

„Stupid" I mumbled to myself and tossed my phone on the bed where it bounced off and landed on the floor. With an annoyed sigh I went to retrieve it.

I had already changed the bedsheets, took a shower and opened the windows but the smell of sex was still lingering in the air. I had never felt so bad after a good fuck before. Hell, it had been amazing but I was mad at Eren and mad at myself so thinking back at it only made me angry. Stupid brat, why didn't he tell me he was a virgin? Why did he let me be so hard on him? I would have gone nicer on him if he had told me he was inexperienced. It may have been a fuck out of hatred that we both felt for each other yet if I had only known, I would have held myself back.

I sighed again and looked out of the window, watching first beams of sunlight sneak past the roofs in my neighborhood. My mood had reached its lowest point since a few years and that means something. Not even the pretty view of the sunrise could cheer me up the slightest.

„Tch", I huffed and turned away from the window and walked into my living room where I took my electric guitar from it place on the wall, connected it to the amp, gave the strings an angry strum and a bunch of horrible sounding notes blasted through the speakers. Not caring about how painful this sound was, I repeated it a few times and screamed a „FUCK THIS SHIT!" along on top of my lungs. The volume made my ears ring but that didn't stop me. My throat started to hurt from all screaming after a while and my fingers were sore from strumming without a plectrum.

I pressed my hand down on the strings to stop the ‚music' and silence spread in my living room, my heavy breath being the only thing left to hear.

„Fuck…" I breathed out and sat down on my couch, the guitar still in my hands.

I silently thanked god or whoever once again that my neighbors were out of town, otherwise I'd have the police knocking on my door already. I threw a look at my phone that had tossed on the couch. Of course he hadn't answered. What was I expecting? We couldn't stand each other, that was for sure. I don't even know how this could have happened, but it had and now I had to live with the consequences. Why did I even text him in the first place? I didn't expect him to come back but I felt like I needed to apologize to him for everything that happened this night and it was rude to just send a text saying ‚I'm sorry'.

A knock on the door ripped me out of my thoughts and my head shot up in surprise.

„Who is it?" I asked. No answer.

I put down my guitar and leaned it against the couch before I got up to check the door. I had to stand on my tippy toes to peek through the door viewer.

„The fuck?" I grumbled as I couldn't see anybody and wanted to unlock the door when someone yelled a „Don't!" from outside the door.  
My hand hovered above the doorknob.  
„Don't open the door." The voice demanded and I slowly took my hand away.

„Eren?" I asked and took another look through the viewer. He was nowhere to be seen. „Where the fuck are you?"

„Mount Everest", Eren said sarcastically. „Sitting outside your door you idiot. You asked me to come back so here I am. What do you want?"

„Tch, stupid brat. Why should I not open the door?"

„I don't want to see you right now. Now tell me what you want so I can finally go home."

I sighed and sat down on the floor, my back against the wood of the door.  
„I… I wanted to apologize", I admitted and listened carefully to his reaction.

„Hah, yeah right. Who are you and what did you do to Levi? I hope it was cruel" Eren scoffed and let out a halfhearted laugh.

„I'm serious here okay, stop being such a dick!" I punched my fist up against the door.

„Whatever. Is that all? Can I go now?" I could almost hear him roll his eyes.

„Not quite" I grunted and got back up again, ready to open the door for real now. I won't let that brat tell me what to do.

„Then spit it out already. My ass hurts, my head feels like it's going to explode and I'm tired as shit, Levi!" I head him shuffle on the other side of the door and a quiet thump when he leaned his head against it in exhaustion.

„You don't hate me now do you?"

„Not more than I did before…"

„Well that sounds positive", I muttered, turned the doorknob and flung the door open.  
Eren, who had been leaning against it, let out a surprised „Woah!" when he fell backwards onto the wooden floor of my living room.

„Was I really thinking you'd listen to me?" He grunted and looked up at me who was standing above him, looking down at his face.

„I would never." I reached out a hand to help him up but he just stared at it in confusion. „Hey, I'm offering to help you up, you idiot! But okay, if you like my floor that much then just stay down there!"

„Thanks…" he whispered when he finally took my hand and I pulled him up. „Why are you so nice all of the sudden?"

„Tch, I'm not being nice. Now sit down, we need to talk."

/

Each of us had a mug of hot tea in their hands while we waited in silence on my couch, as much space between us as possible. I had offered Eren a painkiller when I saw him flinch as he sat down, which he had gladly accepted.

„You wanted to talk?" Eren started and looked at me but I just stared into my steaming mug and nodded. „Speak up then."

„Yeah… well", I cleared my throat. „As I already said, I wanted to apologize."

„For what exactly?"

„For downing your drink, for being an ass to you when you gave me my bandana, for ruining your shirt, for taking your fucking virginity, for throwing you out", I counted up all the things from last night.

„Wow… that's so unlike you…" Eren let out a quiet laugh of disbelief.

„Don't act like you know me, because you don't! You may know my name and the size of my dick but that's as far as it goes!"

„I know that you're an asshole, that's for sure."

„I'm not!" I snapped back a bit too fast.

„You are and you know it" Eren insisted and took a sip from his mug.

„I have my reasons!" I stared angrily at my tea, the steam fogging up my sight.

„You sure are a weird man…"

„You sure are a weird boy…"

„Tell me one thing, Levi." My head shot up when he said my name. „Why do you hate me? You hated me from the very first moment you saw me and I would like to know why."

I bit the safety pin while I was thinking. The truth is, I don't even know why I hate him.

„I don't know", I admitted and held my mug by the rim to take a sip.

„You don't know? You gotta have a reason. I mean, I have my reasons to hate you but you were the one to start this hatred so tell me why."

„I don't know okay! It's just that, the very first moment you showed up you annoyed the shit out of me with your friends and your loud chatting and your stupid hipster bullshit! Then you just _had_ to have the seat next to me and you pissed me off with your politeness and then you and your pretty fucking face turn up over and over again, first with my bag, then at the beach, then at the club, it's like you want to hunt me down, see how far I can go before I snap!" I sat my mug down on the coffee table angrily, tea spilling over and leaving a puddle on the clean glass.

Eren backed away slightly as I was slowly coming closer, my face distorted in anger. I stared at him, his face was flushed and his eyes were wide open. I noticed for the first time that his eyes weren't green at all like I thought the whole time. They were a mixture of several colors, a lot of blue, a lot of green and a few grey sparks here and there.  
He must have noticed me staring because he cleared his throat and pushed me away gently.

„Fuck you and your pretty eyes and your cute face, I hate you" I muttered and sat back at my end of the couch, crossed my arms and looked away.

„You think I'm pretty?" Eren giggled quietly.

„Tch" I huffed.

„You know what's funny? You also pissed me off with your attitude and the way you treated me from the very beginning. You kept insulting me, treating me and my friends like garbage for what seemed like no reason. And then you and your sexy face keep turning up over and over again, first with my bag, then at the beach, then at the club", He quoted me and I shot him an angry look.

„You think I'm sexy?" I mimicked him and he clicked his tongue in response, trying to copy my ‚tch' sound.

A few moments of silence before Eren started laughing. He looked over at me, hoping I would laugh too but I let nothing more than a silent snort out and kept my lips pressed together. Levi Ackerman doesn't laugh and this brat won't change it!

„Oh we're such idiots", he chuckled and scooted closer to me.

„Well, you are", I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes.

„Levi?" He asked, his voice stern yet soft.

„What do you want, kid?"

„May I get to know you? You know, bury the hatched and actually try to be nice? I don't think we're too different after all. So may I?"

„Hmpf. Go ahead, see if you can actually find something you like in me. I can already tell you it won't work."

„Challenge accepted!" Eren grinned and scooted even closer, leaned towards me and started to bombard me with questions. I gave in and tried to answer him. Persistent little shit.

„Favorite band?"  
„My Chemical Romance."  
„Favorite song?"  
„Pet Sematary."  
„Favorite book?"  
„Everything is Illuminated."  
„Favorite movie?"  
„Dead Silence."  
„XBox or Playstation?"  
„Playstation."  
„Favorite game?"  
„Crash Bandicoot."  
„Favorite food?"  
„Eren can you please stop?"  
„Favorite drink?"  
„Eren!"  
„Favorite-"  
„EREN!"  
„What?!"

He stared at me, his arms and shoulders raised as if his whole body was indeed asking me ‚What?!'.

„Asking me all that shit won't bring you any further. It's no use." I stood up from the couch, drank up my by now cooled down tea and walked over to my kitchen, which was included in my big living room, to put it in the sink.

„You're probably right…" Eren sighed and sunk into the backrest. „I just thought that… whatever."

„Didn't you say you were tired?" I grunted and licked across my piercing.

„Now that you mentio-…" A yawn interrupted him mid sentence. „…-on it, I really should get home and into my bed."  
With that he got up and stretched himself. He was still shirtless and I observed his arms flex and his chest stretch out as he yawned again.

„You can stay here if you want", I blurted out and right away regretted what I said.

„Didn't you say this was ‚just a fuck, not a one night stand'?" He did quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

„Technically speaking it's not gonna be a one _night_ stand. You had already left once already plus it's seven o'clock in the morning. Also, you'd probably collapse on the street before you even get to the stupid bus stop", I shrugged. What the fuck was I saying. I didn't want this brat to sleep over. That would only mean a lot more awkward situations once he wakes up and _ugh_ out of courtesy I'd have to make him breakfast. Or rather lunch.

„Don't think that I want to stay here willingly. I stay because I have no other choice." Eren seemed to be even too tired to give me an angry look. He slowly stumbled into my hallway and back to my bedroom.

I opened my mouth to protest that he shouldn't even think about sleeping in my bed if he wanted to wake up again but he had already thrown himself on my clean and tidy bed and started snoring.

„Asshat", I muttered and followed him.  
I didn't want to share my bed with this snoring mess of a boy so I just opened my wardrobe to put on a pair of comfy pants for the few hours of sleep I'm gonna get. While I changed into the pajama pants I observed the brunet boy who had spread himself across my bed in a very uncomfortable looking position. His head was resting on one of his arms and his face looked relaxed, peaceful even.

„Eren Fucking Yay-gurr, what the heck are you doing to me", I hissed as I clenched my fists in anger.  
Whatever it was about him that made me so soft and angry at the same time, I sure as hell didn't like it. I don't want any happy feelings, I don't want any warmth or positive emotion. I just want to be left in peace but how could I find peace if this stupid brat comes bursting into my life again and again and makes me all pissed off and torn between hatred and affection. This can't be healthy, can it?

* * *

 _A/N_  
 _Thank you once again so much for reading my story. Please feel free to keep leaving reviews, I love to hear some feedback and improve my writing and the story in general. Next chapter should be up soon, I'm slowing down since I'm running out of ideas here. If you have any suggestions on what could or should happen, message me or leave a review._  
 _Thanks so much again!_

 _CheeZy - out_


	11. Chapter 11

**Eren's POV** _(A/N May include slight triggers in form of song lyrics. They're written in italic so you can skip them easily if you want to)(The song featured in this chapter is called Bullet by Hollywood Undead)_

I didn't know for how long I had slept. Felt like days but it must have been merely a few hours. I woke up to the soft sound of a guitar echoing through the bedroom. My eyes refused to open so I just let myself get woken up bit by bit by the music. It was a calm song, very quiet and it sounded very emotional. A smile creeped up on my lips and I finally opened my eyes. The bright light of the day flooded my view and I had to squint my eyes back closed for a second. The music had stopped and I could hear a few out of place strums before a different song started to play. It sounded happier than the one before and I hopped out of the bed, leaving it behind being all messed up.

I looked around Levi's bedroom. I hadn't had much of a chance to take a proper look at it before. A huge mirror was hung up on the wall at the opposite side of the big bed made out of dark wood. I was secretly glad we hadn't been facing the other way around last night, I wouldn't have wanted to see myself getting fucked by him to be honest. The image of how it must have looked creeped into my mind and I cringed at the thought. No way in hell would I want to see that.

There was not much else in the room. A wardrobe made out of the same wood as the bed on one wall, a big window with white curtains at the other and a white nightstand at each side of the bed. I stretched myself and yawned as I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked like shit but I had looked worse so I just shrugged it off. As I looked further down at myself I noticed that I went to bed fully dressed, well rather dressed with the clothes that were left in one piece. My neck and chest were covered with several small purplish-blue hickeys, the biggest one had the size of a walnut and was spreading across my collarbone. Damn, why did he have to leave those marks on me? My phone was still in the pocket of my blue jeans but I didn't bother checking it. The loud growling coming from my stomach was more important right now.

I opened the door and the music got louder instantly. It came from the living room / kitchen area. I could also hear someone sing quietly along to the quirky music. Probably a cd but it still seemed weird that Levi would listen to such happy music. As I reached the end of the hallway and stood in the doorframe of the living room I spotted Levi sitting on the couch we shared this morning, a guitar on his lap and his eyes closed as he quietly sang the lyrics along to the song.

 _I never bought a suit before in my life  
_ _But when you know you go to meet God,  
_ _You know you wanna look nice_

His singing was godlike. I had noticed his raspy and deep voice before and man, if one could be sexually attracted to a voice, then that was the case here!

 _So if I survive,  
_ _Then I'll see you tomorrow  
_ _Yeah I'll see you tomorrow_

I leaned against the doorframe and just watched and listened. His slender fingers slid gently across the strings.

 _My legs are dangling off the edge,  
_ _The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,  
_ _I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm  
_ _gone gone gone gone_

I frowned in confusion. How could such a happy song have such cruel lyrics? I took a step forward and wanted to sneak past him unnoticed to get something to eat because my stomach was literally killing me.

 _My legs are dangling off the edge,  
_ _A stomach full of pills didn't work again  
_ _I put a bullet in my head-_

I had accidentally stepped on a creaky floorboard. Levi right away stopped singing and his head shot up to look at me.

„Awake already? Tch", he grunted and put his guitar down.

„I could ask you the same." My cheeks were slowly heating up for no reason.

„I don't sleep much." The dark circles under his eyes spoke for themselves.

„What time is it?" I yawned and stretched once again.

Levi's gaze shot up to a clock above the tv.  
„Noon", he sighed.

„I only slept for five hours?" He nodded in response.

„I wonder how you could sleep with all the noise that you were making. Your snoring is horrendous."

„Um… that was a nice song. Did you write it?" I quickly changed the topic before it could get any more embarrassing than it already was and looked at the music sheet on the coffee table which had pencil scribbles all over it.

„No." He stared at the music sheet, then picked up the pencil next to it and crossed out a few lines. „I write music but this song isn't mine."

„Wow that's so cool! Can you show me some of your songs?" I had already figured he was a musician, I could tell by the various guitars hung up on his wall and some music sheets I had found in his bag one week ago. I wanted to know his songs and if he was successful but judging by the death stare he gave me, I should better stay quiet.

My stomach growled once again and I earned another pissed off look from him.

„I'll get you something to eat." He stated and got up.

„Oh you don't need to. I'm not even hungry!" I tried to deny it but my stomach growled in protest.

„Tch, yeah right." He sounded as if he tried to suppress a giggle while he walked past me and towards his kitchen.

„Levi-" I started but he cut me of with a „Shush!"

„I was thinking a lot this morning."

„Uh oh…"

„And I think it's now my turn to ask you questions." He looked at me over his shoulder. „By the way, if you want to eat meat, then go somewhere else."

„No thanks, I'm a Vegetarian" I shook my head quickly.

„Wow, the first good thing about you", he muttered and took several ingredients out of the almost empty fridge. „So, question number one: Where do you come from?"

„Germany", I answered proudly.

„Thought so. Second question: What the hell are you doing in the US?"

„Me and my friends are on a work and travel trip across the states. We work here and there and once we grow tired of a place then we move on."

„… Why?"

„What do you mean why?" I gave him a confused look while he poured two eggs into a pan.

„Why would you do that? Don't you have a family back home? Don't you miss them?" He looked over it shoulder and right at me but when our eyes met he quickly looked away again.

„I… I don't have any family back home, the only one I have left is my sister, Mikasa." I bit down on my lip, a feeling of sadness welling up inside of me.

„I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." He stared at the drizzling eggs in the pan.

„Don't worry about it, you couldn't have known. What about you though? Does your family live here in Florida as well?" I asked him, trying to shake off the sadness by asking him instead.

„I'm originally from France where I lived alone with my mother. I don't know who my father is and neither did she or at least she didn't tell me before she died. I was around five when that happened. Can't remember it correctly. So then my uncle took me with him to America after she passed away and raised me." His voice lacked emotion even more than usual as he spoke. I didn't interrupt him when he continued. He was telling me more than I had asked for but I didn't mind. His short story seemed to be something he wanted to let me in on. „We didn't have much money, our house was the filthiest and ugliest shack you can imagine and I grew up to be a stealing asshole who is obsessed with cleaning. But my uncle died quite some time ago already as well. I don't know if I have any relatives left in France but I honestly don't care."

„I'm sorry." I looked down at my feet.

„Don't say you're sorry. Your pity is the last thing I need." He muttered and grabbed a spatula. „Sunny side up?"

„Uh… What?"

„Sunny side up or sunny side down? Something wrong with your ears, brat?"

„Sorry but what does that mean?!" My English may have been good but that term was totally new to me.

„I'm asking you if I should leave your egg like this or flip it over, you idiot." He sighed but sounded relieved at the change of topic.

„Oh okay, sounds logical. Um, sunny side up, please." I plopped down on one of the three stools in his kitchen.

„So anyways, you didn't answer my third question." A few cut up vegetables joined the eggs in the pan.

„Sorry, which one was it again?"

„I asked why you left Germany to travel around the US."

„Oh right, sorry. So actually, it was Armin's idea."

„The blondie?"

„Yeah, he told us about his idea of leaving home to travel the whole wide world but he didn't want to go on his own. So my sister and me promised him to join him when we finished school. The rest of our squad didn't think too badly of the idea either so they joined us as well. I don't know how long we will keep this up, this work and travel thing. Maybe we'll switch countries soon or go back home or settle down somewhere, I don't really care. As long as I'm with my friends I'll be fine." I smiled at the thought of it but it soon faded when I realized I still hadn't texted neither my sister nor Armin nor anyone else back. They were probably worried sick about me.

„Eat up." Levi placed one plate in front of me and sat down next to me, a second plate for himself in his hands.

„You really didn't need to make this for me", I mumbled as I looked down at the plate where the ‚sunny side up' egg was surrounded by a few tomatoes and green pepper slices.

„Just shut it and eat."

Shortly after I had finished my breakfast / lunch, I got ready to leave. Levi, being his oh so generous self, had given me one of his shirts, saying that he „never wears it anyways" to replace the torn shirt from last night. It was just my size, of a washed out black color and had a band logo I didn't know printed on it. He had also offered to give me a lift but I denied. I needed some fresh air and think about everything that had happened while I had some time on my own because I knew that once I get back home, my sister won't take her eyes off of me for at least the next two weeks.

So once again I was walking to the bus stop yet this time I was feeling a lot better, physically and mentally. Nevertheless I couldn't shake off the thought that something about Levi's behavior had seemed weird. Sure, I didn't know him well enough to be able to say that he was acting weird, maybe his asshole mood is the weird one but considering the awkwardness between us ever since he called me back, he isn't used to being nice and caring. But at least he had tried and I was thankful for that, even if it had just been an act.

The bus didn't take long to arrive. I sat down in a seat in the very back, sighed and fished my phone out of my pocket.  
78 unread messages.  
Shit.  
I didn't bother to read the other 75 messages that my sister had sent me, the last three were enough.

 **Mikasa:** Tell me where you are! NOW!  
 **Mikasa:** Don't make me call the cops, Eren!  
 **Mikasa:** I give you ten minutes to answer!

The last message was sent 7 minutes ago. I quickly typed her a response, trying to make up poor excuses, for now at least. I decided to simply not explain anything right now, I had to think about what I was going to tell her properly.

 **Eren:** I'm on the bus back home right now, should be back in about 20 minutes.

Her answer came almost immediately.

 **Mikasa:** You better explain yourself RIGHT NOW!

 **Eren:** Calm down! I'll explain as soon as I get home, okay?

 **Mikasa:** Hurry.

I put my phone back into my pocket and just stared out the window, watching the houses and trees rush by. Indian Shores was a beautiful, what would you call it, city? Every now and then I could see the ocean peek through the spaces between the houses but as soon as I could catch a glimpse of it, it was gone again already.

I had actually planned to use the time on the bus to think about what I was going to tell my sister and the others but when I rang the doorbell to our bungalow, I stood there without knowing what I was going to say.  
The door was flung open at the very second my finger touched the button of the doorbell and the loud _bing bong_ was interrupted by my sister screeching an

„EREN!" when she jumped towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

„Good to see you, too", I sighed and hugged her softly.

„Where _were_ you?!" She sounded like an overprotective mother interrogating her 4 year old child after it ran off at the mall. Well, the situation didn't differ to much from it.

„At the club, remember?" My mind was focussed on finding something, anything to tell her without telling her the truth yet also without lying. I actually didn't want to tell her at all but there was no way I'd get around that.

„Yeah, duh, Sherlock! You weren't at the club until noon!" Mikasa let go of me, put her hands on my shoulders and was eyeing me from to bottom. „What's with this shirt?"

She pulled on the collar of Levi's shirt when her gaze locked on the hickey on my collar bone which the shirt was covering up before.  
„Is that… Is that a hickey?!" She practically yelled and I could feel my face going red.

„Not so loud, Mikasa! Think of the neighbors!" I hushed her and gently pushed her inside our bungalow.

„I don't care about the neighbors! Who was it? What's her name?"

I spotted Jean leaning against the kitchen counter, watching our debate and giggling quietly. He knew it. Oh shit, he knew it. He obviously hadn't told anyone, otherwise me and my sister wouldn't have been having this fight. He probably knew about the show he would have missed if he had told anyone and honestly, I couldn't blame him for that. This was like a real life soap opera.

I was trying to evaluate the choices I had left. On the one hand I could just scream out what had actually happened, that I had fucked Levi Ackerman or rather the other way around (Mikasa's face would be priceless) and just take my chance, while she would be paralyzed in shock, to escape into my room and not come out until tomorrow. On the other hand I could just lie straight into her face, make up the entire story I was going to present her, starting with how I met a few sexy girls at the club and ending with how big of an orgy I had.

Before I had even decided what I was going to say I had already mumbled a quick, almost incoherent „Leviackerman".

„Pardon?" She asked, believing that she probably didn't hear me correctly.

„You heard me." I breathed in sharply, gathered all the dignity and courage that Levi had left me and made my decision. Truth. „ _Her_ name is Levi Ackerman. Yes, _the_ Levi Ackerman."

Mikasa's hands, that had been holding the collar of my shirt the whole time, dropped down and she just stared at me, her mouth opened as if she wanted to say something but no word made its way out.

A snort came from the kitchen. Jean was pressing his lips together, trying his best not to burst out laughing and whispered something like „Get me the popcorn" in between silent laughs and giggles.

„I-I wish I could explain, you know? But… but I can't." I raised my hands in defense.

„Please tell me you're kidding" Mikasa's voice was only a whisper.

„I wish I was…" I shrugged and lowered my hands, knowing that I won't need to expect an outburst of anger from her, much rather a lecture about her disappointment instead.

„Well well, Jäger", Jean stepped up behind Mikasa and grinned at me. „Coming out at last, huh? I knew all along that you were gay but the grumpy midget was the last one I had expected to turn your head."

„Hey, he didn't turn my-" I started to argue but was cut off by my yelling sister.

„YOU KNEW IT?!" She spun around, her black hair almost hitting me in the face and Jean's grin quickly faded.

„Yes…?" He answered hesitantly.

„WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

„It's rude to out people to their friends and family before they get the chance to do it themselves." Now Jean hat raised his hands in defense, knowing that my sister could snap his neck any second if he didn't convince her quickly enough.

„YOU MORON!" She yelled and smacked him over the head.

I took the chance of her being distracted and wanted to sneak off into my room but Mikasa grabbed my arm before I could even move.  
„Don't you even think about it. We have to talk, Eren!" She growled and pushed Jean out of the way, dragging me with her towards her room.

* * *

 _A/N  
_ _I am so sorry this chapter took me so long, first I didn't know what to write and then didn't know where to stop.  
_ _Please keep leaving me reviews, they keep me going :)  
_ _Also thanks for 13 favs and follows already, I didn't really expect anyone to read this story when I first posted it._

 _Cheezy - out_


	12. Chapter 12

**Levi's POV** _(The song featured in this chapter is Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones)_

„Smith?" A deep voice came through the speaker of my phone.

„Erwin!" I sighed in relief that he had actually picked up. I had already feared he wouldn't after I left him all alone at the club last night.

„Levi, is that you?" He asked, surprise lingering in his tone.

„No, this is Santa Clause." I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it. „Sure it's me."

„Well this is unusual. You never call me. Something happened?"

„Otherwise I wouldn't have called you, Eyebrows! Do you either have a minute right now or can you come over? I won't accept a no for an answer." My fingers ran across the safety pin piercing, opening it and closing it again.

„Well, I don't seem to have much of a choice." I could hear him put his hand on the mic and talk to someone about something I obviously wasn't supposed to know before he removed his hand again. „Yeah… Okay… Levi, still there?"

„Yes", I growled.

„I'll be there in 10 minutes."

„Thanks." I muttered and hung up.

I was standing in front of my bed, aka the mess that Eren had left behind. The thin blanket was thrown into a pile on the floor, the pillows were carelessly stacked on top of each other and the sheets still hinted at how Eren had slept in them. For the second time today I changed the bedsheets since wouldn't have wanted to sleep in a bed that smelled of him. I had gotten some practice over the time so it took me less than 5 minutes to have my bed back to its tidy, fresh state. I bent down to pick up the remains of Eren's shirt that he had left here, carefully hidden under the bed as if I wouldn't be able to find them there. A tiny spark of curiosity lit up inside of me and I couldn't resist the urge to take out my phone and google what these two k-hands stood for.

I googled several stuff like ‚band logo two hands k' or ‚k k hands' which delivered close to no results. I was almost giving up, by now googling ‚german band kraftwerk' as it was number one in the drop down list, when google suggested ‚Deutsche Band Kraftklub'. With a sigh I hit enter, telling myself that this would be the last thing I'd try but as soon as the page was done loading, I right away recognized the band logo from Eren's shirt. ‚Mixture of rap and indie' it said in the first line of their wikipedia page and I right away scrunched up my nose. No way in hell I would listen to that crap voluntarily.

The doorbell luckily saved me from almost searching up one of their songs on youtube. Curiosity is a bitch.

„Erwin", I exclaimed way too happily when I opened the door.

„Levi..?" He raised one of his huge eyebrows.

„Get inside." I quickly darkened my expression and stepped aside, letting him past me.

„Who are you and what did you do to Levi?" Erwin had an amused look on his face as he walked past me and headed right away for my fridge.

„Second time I hear this today", I grunted, closed the door again and followed him. „Fridge is empty."

„Damn." His hand had already took the handle to open the fridge but dropped down after I told him it was empty.

„I need your advice." I stared into the opposite direction of him and chewed on my piercing.

„You gotta be kidding me!" Erwin let out a loud laugh. „April Fools Day is half a year from now, Levi."

„Do I look like I'm fucking joking around, stupid Eyebrows?" I shot him an angry glare which made him fall silent immediately.

„You gotta work on your jokes, shorty. They're not half as funny with this expression." He scratched the back of his head.

„Tch, whatever. Are you going to help me now or not?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a sharp sigh.

„Sure, even though I still think you're fooling me", he giggled quietly and let himself fall down on my couch, taking up the entire sitting space.

„I had sex last night." I observed his reaction as I sat down in the armchair next to the couch.

„Um… congratulations?"

„With Eren."

„Excuse me?!" He almost fell off the couch in surprise.

„I fucked Eren!" It was the first time I put this in words and the realization hit me. „Oh my god… I fucked Eren… Oh my- Shit shit shit, putain de merde _,_ what the fuck did I do?!"  
Fuck, this is bad. Once I start swearing in french by accident, you know that shit is going down.

„You… you're serious, aren't you?" Erwin looked at me with a mixture of surprise and worry spread across his face.

„Of course I am!" I ran my hand through my hair and looked back at him.

„Isn't he a bit young for you?", he sneered and I kicked my foot into his side, earning a groan from him.

„Aren't you a bit old for me?" I snapped back, knowing well that he's a year younger than me.

Erwin and me had a friends with benefits thing going on since a few months. It was nothing we were really committed to but whenever one of us was in the mood we would go partying, get drunk and end up in bed together. Getting a young brat to spend the night with you was getting more difficult each day and I sure as hell wasn't getting any younger. So Erwin had come up with the stupid idea of us adding the benefits to our friendship. Don't get me wrong, the sex was good but I couldn't stand it. He was too tall, too dominant, too bulky and too harsh. He just made me his bottom bitch and I hated it. So let's just not talk about that.

„Now you're being rude." Erwin crossed his arms in front of his chest.

„Tch, have I ever been nice to you?"

„Not that I can remember. Anyways, what is it that you needed from me?"

I took a deep breath and stood up, starting to pace up and down in front of the couch. Here goes nothing.  
„I'm afraid I might start liking him." I avoided his gaze, turning my head away from him in fear my cold expression could have a hint of warmth in it and I didn't want him to see that.

„So?" He asked. I thought he knew me well enough that I wouldn't have to explain it to him.

„I don't want that!" I turned to face him, panic and anger lingering in my tone. „I don't want to feel anything towards him! Positive feelings are bullshit! Affection my ass, all it does is making you vulnerable with the way you start to give a shit about a person. This stupid hipster brat and me are way too different, how did this even happen? One second I just wanted to punch his fucking face and the next thing I notice is that we're all over each other, as if my hatred was making me lust after him. I wanted to expose him, use him and toss him aside but suddenly I cared enough to let him sleep over and make him breakfast! _Breakfast,_ Erwin! _"_

Erwin just watched my outburst, waiting patiently until I was done.

„I want to hate him, I want to hate him so badly but I can't!" Desperation welled up inside me and I tried my best to keep it down but it fought it's way to the surface. „Stupid piece of crap, it's making me sick! I regret it, every single time I saw him, every word I spoke to him and every thought I wasted on him! I regret going to the club with you, if you hadn't talked me into it, none of this would have happened!"  
I fell back down into the armchair, out of breath as if I just ran a marathon, and buried my face in my hands.

„Don't", Erwin said after a few seconds of silence.

I raised my head slightly and looked at him through my fingers.

„Don't regret it. And also, don't make it my fault. Think before you point fingers, Levi." His voice was calm, he didn't sound like he wanted to provoke me but it got my rage on anyways.

„Fine, my fault then! _I_ was the one who walked up to him and _I_ was the one who took him home with me. But that doesn't change anything about the fact that I'm having a major problem in form of a 19 year old brat I can't stand!" I lowered my hands and balled them into fists.

„No ones fault! Destiny has it's way and you're not supposed to search for someone to blame, at least that's what a grumpy little guy I like to call my friend told me quite some time ago!" He was right.

It was me who told him about it. About my believes, what I think about God or rather that I think that there is no such thing as a god. Only destiny. And destiny has everything planned for everyone and you can't change anything about it. The good, the bad, the boring and the exciting; What happens happens, whether you like it or not so you can either whine about it and search for someone to blame or simply accept it and move on.

„And also", Erwin continued. „If you really can't stand him, then why are we having this conversation about you being scared of affection? I think you rather can't stand the fact that you're acquiring a liking for him."

„Tch, don't be ridiculous." I growled at him even though I knew he was right. I just didn't want to admit it.

„How about you calm down for now, grab your guitar and work on your songs? It won't make it go away but it will keep your mind off of it for a few hours." Erwin got up and placed one of his huge hands on my shoulder. "I can't help you with your feelings, that's your job. I can only tell you, suffocating your feelings and pushing them down will definitely hurt you, there's no way around it. So maybe give this a second thought before you decide what you will do."

I gave him a short nod.  
„Thanks", I mumbled and stared blankly at the coffee table in front of me.

„This whole thing is changing you, Levi." I didn't even have to look at him to know that he was smiling. „Make the best out of it. And keep me up to date."

„Don't tell Shitty Glasses or Petra about this conversation, you hear me? Stupid four eyes would only annoy me with her questions again and Petra wouldn't want to talk to me for a month."

„Sure thing, shorty."

„Don't call me that!" I gritted my teeth as I looked over my shoulder at him.

„Whatever you say", Erwin giggled and with that he left, leaving me alone in my apartment.

/

 _I look inside myself  
and see my heart is black  
I see my red door  
and must have it painted black_

I had listened to Erwin's suggestion and focused on my music. My favorite guitar in my hands I had started singing the first song that had come into my mind.

 _Maybe then I fade away  
and not have to face the facts  
It's not easy facing up  
when your whole world is black_

Why, out of all songs, did it have to be Paint it Black that came up? Could there be any song more fitting for my situation? Probably. But right now I couldn't help but identify with the lyrics better than ever. Just black, black everywhere. Fade away into the darkness and negative emotion, avoid the happy feelings and chances that are opening up.

As I kept playing the interlude and just hummed along, my mind went back to the Rolling Stones concert in Miami two friends dragged me into. It's been almost exactly 10 years and I was only 17 years old back then but I remember it like it was yesterday.

* * *

 _October, 10 years ago - Miami_

 _„Come on, Levi! Please!" The redhead was pulling on my sleeve, trying to get me to stand up.  
_

 _„I said no! And let go of me already, will ya?" I freed my sleeve form her grip and just kept reading in my book.  
_

 _„Just put down the damn book and have some fun!" She was now tugging on my other sleeve.  
_

 _„Isabel, can you shut up for a minute? I'm trying to read here!" I stared furiously at the pages, not reading a single word since I couldn't concentrate at all with her nagging about the concert.  
_

 _„Sorry for the backstab but I kind of wanna go, too." The blonde boy, who was sitting next to me, admitted.  
_

 _„And how if I might ask?" I clapped the book closed and looked at him with my cold expression. „If you haven't noticed, we'd practically be homeless if it wasn't for this shack! We barely have any money to buy food, not to mention the cleaning supplies to keep this dump here clean. And you want to go to a Rolling Stones concert? I expected a bit more brain from you, Farlan!"  
_

 _„I'll get us tickets, don't you worry!" A mischievous grin crept up to Farlan's face.  
_

 _„YES!" Isabel cheered, her red pigtails jumping up and down as she ran towards the small wardrobe we had to pick out a good outfit for the concert.  
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed deeply.  
_

 _„We go under one condition", I growled and watched Isabel picking out two shirts and holding them up with a thoughtful look on her face. „I get to pick the music for the next two weeks."  
_ _We had a small stereo and each day we took turns with whose music was going to play. Our taste in music didn't vary too much but neither of us really liked the others favorite bands._

 _„Yeah yeah, whatever you say bro. Just get ready, we don't have much time left!" She spoke way too quickly in her excitement and stumbled over several words.  
_

 _„I am ready", I muttered as I got up from the mattress that was lying on the floor and served as Farlan's bed.  
_

 _„Good! Both of you, turn around, I want to change!" Isabel ordered and both me and Farlan rolled our eyes in unison.  
_

 _„Do I look like I give a shit about your tits?" I gave her a pissed off look but turned around anyways.  
_

 _As soon as Isabel was dressed, we left the ugly shack we like to call our home and headed for Miami Downtown where the concert would take place. There was a huge crowd already waiting in front of the arena even though it was still early in the afternoon. A big ‚SOLD OUT' sign decorated the huge poster that was put up above the entrance and a few people who arrived with us groaned in disappointment as soon as they read the sign.  
_

 _„Sold out. Now what?" I turned to face Farlan who was chewing on his lip.  
_

 _„I've got an idea. Isabel, you come with me. Levi, you should stay here and watch out for cops and security men. We're gonna sneak into the crowd and see what we can find." Farlan suggested and I gave it a quick thought.  
_

 _„Are you sure that will work?" I asked and crossed my arms. „We need three tickets after all."  
_

 _„I hope it will work…" He looked over at the crowd of people.  
_

 _„Okay, go ahead. Don't take too long though, people might notice that there are some pickpockets and then you're gonna be in trouble. I'll be waiting for you over there." I pointed at a bench located between two palm trees.  
_

 _„Aye aye Captain", Farlan gave me a quick wave and disappeared in the crowd, right away followed by Isabel.  
_

 _I turned around, walked towards the bench and took out my book from my black backpack, which was fixed with several red and green patches here and there, before I sat down and continued to read. I snitched the book from a bookstore the other day just because I was bored and wanted something to read and since then I couldn't put it down. I still had my troubles reading english books, my uncle hadn't talked much english with me and at school I used to be spacing out and just stare out of the window instead of listening to the teacher. After my uncle had left me alone, I stopped going to school, faked a letter that I had gone back to France and sent it to my school so that they wouldn't come after me. I was on my own from then on until I was joined by Farlan and later then also Isabel who were both runaways and needed somewhere to stay.  
_

 _„What a failure!" Isabel dropped down next to me on the bench, startling me as I was concentrated on my book.  
_

 _„What did you get?" I asked and put my book back into my backpack.  
_

 _„A lighter, a pack of gum, a half eaten sandwich and an empty wallet", she sighed and revealed the loot on her lap.  
_

 _„Completely empty?"  
_

 _„Completely empty."  
_

 _„Tch."  
_

 _„Jackpot!" Farlan exclaimed and sat down on my other side, putting down a big backpack between his feet.  
_

 _„Oh yes! Farlan, you rock! Open it, open it!" Isabel had jumped up and knelt down in front of the bag.  
_

 _„Shush, or do you want to draw attention?" I gave her an angry look and she ducked her head but was still grinning.  
_

 _„Okay, let's see…", Farlan mumbled, pulled the zipper open and handed the contents to me and Isabel while he counted them up. „Beer, a lunchbox, binoculars, earplugs, a wallet, a cellphone and well look at that, an envelope!"  
_

 _„Whats inside?" Isabel asked impatiently and handed the stuff that Farlan had handed her to me.  
_

 _The three of us leaned closer to the envelope and tried to sneak the first peak at the pieces of paper that Farlan slowly pulled out.  
_

 _„Tickets!" Isabel gasped quietly.  
_

 _„One… two… three", Farlan counted and looked first to me, then to Isabel. „Third row."  
_

 _The expression on Isabel's face was pure happiness as she squealed and hugged first Farlan and then me, who was slightly uncomfortable with the sudden embrace but hugged her back anyways.  
_

 _We barely got to have any fun and this seemed like a gift from heavens. Three tickets, third row to a huge concert. Maybe not my favorite band but who gives a shit? I felt a smile creep up on my face and I didn't even feel like forcing it to go away.  
_ _A small laugh escaped my lips and both Isabel and Farlan started laughing as well._

* * *

I almost let out a small laugh when I remembered their faces, their voices and their laughs. I was still strumming the interlude of Paint it Black and hadn't bothered stopping as it reminded me of my friends and that night we managed to get our hands on the concert tickets. Thinking about it, I couldn't remember if I smiled again since that day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Eren's POV**

I was lying on my bed and stared off into space. It was already past midnight but I couldn't fall asleep. My headphones were plugged into my phone and played a random song from my gallery but I hadn't put them on. They were resting against the headboard while I was lying the other way around on my back, my feet up on my pillow and my head dangling off the foot of the bed. My throat was sore from shouting and I was sure that by tomorrow my voice would be totally hoarse.

Mikasa and me had gotten into a huge fight earlier. She had been blinded by rage while I had tried my best to calm her down and to explain it the best I could but she wouldn't listen. In all honesty, her overprotectiveness annoyed me. On the one hand I could understand her, after all the bullshit that life had made us go through she clearly had her reasons to protect me, but on the other hand, she had been treating me like a ten-year-old for way too long. I sure as hell could take care of myself by now and didn't need my sister to look after me anymore. Of course, I got into trouble every now and then but it's nothing I couldn't manage myself. She's not my babysitter and I won't tolerate that any longer. That's what I had told her. More like yelled at her but whatever. My enormous aggressions and mood swings didn't help much in that situation. „Fine." She had answered after a while and then moved her gaze out of the window. End of discussion.

The only good thing about the fight was that I didn't have to think about how I was going to come out to my friends. They sure as hell heard every bit.  
I ran my hand through my hair, it was all sticky and I really needed a shower but I couldn't get myself to get up. I hadn't even eaten the dinner that Armin and Annie had made and, judging from the conversations I had overheard through the wood of my locked door, Mikasa hadn't either. Call me childish but I was sulking until she would come to me and apologize. I hadn't done anything wrong, I had simply wanted freedom.

A painful growl came from my stomach and I groaned as if I wanted to drown the sound of my hungry stomach and pretend I didn't hear it. My last meal had been 12 hours ago and my stomach seemed to want to remind me about this.

„Fuck it", I mumbled and shuffled off my bed, landing on the floor with a thud.

I pulled myself up by the bed and slouched out of my room and towards the bathroom. I spotted Armin's clothes hanging out of the laundry basket while one of Connie's shirt was on the floor like a bath mat and also looking like it had been used as one, a wet footprint staining the grey fabric. Kicking the shirt aside, I locked the door behind me and started to take off my own clothes to put them into the laundry. When I pulled my shirt over my head I could clearly smell Levi's scent on it. It smelled fresh yet salty, as if someone had washed it in the ocean, with a hint of lemon (or was it lime?) and something that I'd identify as a mixture of several tea flavors. I remembered how it always smelled at out local tea store back home and that scent wasn't too far form it. Actually, Levi's entire apartment had smelled of cleaning supplies, tea and a fresh ocean breeze since it wasn't too far from the beach. Though what Levi himself smelled of, I couldn't remember.

I turned on the shower and stepped under the cold rain coming from the shower head. I let out a whimper and blindly searched for the knob to turn on the warm water while the shower rained what felt like tiny ice cubes down on me. A content sigh followed when the water finally turned warm. I turned my face up and towards the shower head and closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth on my skin. I don't remember how long I spent just standing there, doing nothing but when I decided that I should start to actually wash my hair and body, my skin was already turning red from the heat. Knowing that the hot water would run out sooner or later, I reluctantly left the shower, draped a big towel around my shoulders and stood in front of the fogged up mirror.

I raised my hand and wiped it across the glass and my reflection showed up. I looked pathetic, like a sad dog that you had left in the rain. Dark circles had appeared under my eyes and all in all I looked simply worn out and tired. I was thinking too much lately and it started to show. I always went to bed quite early but my dreams kept waking me up a lot and whenever I tried to remember what they had been about, my mind started imagining the weirdest things and wouldn't let me go back to sleep. Everyone knows this, right?

I ruffled my hair dry with the towel, wrapped it around my waist after I was done and left the steamy bathroom, Levis shirt in my hand because I didn't want to wash it yet, it would only loose it's nice smell. The cold and dry air in our living room was a blessing compared to the damp and humid air I had breathed in the bathroom. I could spot two plates on the counter in our kitchen from here and I softly smiled to myself, knowing that Armin had prepared a plate for me in case I changed my mind about eating. Though how he had managed to save it from Sasha was a mystery to me. Since everyone was asleep right now, I tiptoed over to the kitchen, took the plate and didn't even bother putting it into the microwave. Sasha would wake up only to the sound of the microwave opening and closing and then it'd be farewell dinner… or midnight snack.

Just as I wanted to sneak back into my room, I heard a door open behind me and I froze mid-action, like the burglars used to do in those old cartoons. I slowly turned my head and saw a flustered Marco right behind me with a sleepy look on his face.

„Eren?", he whispered, still not completely awake yet. „You know your bathroom is right next to our room, why do you have to take a shower at a time like this?"

„Can't sleep", I mumbled and quietly disappeared into my room, not wanting to wake up anyone else.  
I had just put on a new pair of boxers and an old, second hand Mickey Mouse shirt and sat down on my bed with my plate in my hand, ready to dig in, when my door opened. It always made a quiet squeak, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed.

„Are you dressed?" Marco whispered. The only light in my room was coming from a street lantern outside my window but I could still see how he had pressed his hand on his eyes out of fear he might see my naked ass.

„Yup", I answered and Marco slowly removed his hand, opening one eye after the other hesitantly.

He quietly shut the door behind him and sat down next to me on my bed.

„What is it?" I asked him, chewing on the cold Veggie-Wrap that Armin had prepared for me.

„I heard you and Mikasa argue earlier." He had this sad smile on his face like he always does when he's concerned. He may not be my best friend but I still know him very well. Jean had simply brought him along one day and we just went with it so he slowly got integrated into our squad.

„I'm pretty sure the entire State heard it", I huffed and took another bite.

„How are you feeling?" Typical Marco. Always concerned for everyone's happiness.

„How do you think I feel? I'm awake at…" I quickly checked my phone. „…2 in the morning, sober and not partying, doesn't that say enough?"

„I see… There's something troubling you and it isn't necessarily the fight with your sister, is it?" Marco can sense stuff that others can't and I know that even if I tried to hide it, he'd notice it anyway.

„Pfft, what makes you think that?" I laughed awkwardly and puffed up my cheeks like a little boy that doesn't want to admit he's got a crush on the girl next door and yet Marco's only seconds away from finding out that exact thing.

„You like the guy, don't you? What was his name again?" Damn it.

„His name is Levi and I sure as hell do _not_ like him!" I started to defend myself a bit too quickly. „Don't be ridiculous, I would never like him! He's the total opposite of me and not to mention a rude asshole. I wonder how anyone could ever like him!"

„Not so loud, Eren!" Marco placed a finger on his lips, motioning me to lower my voice.

„Sorry…" I whispered and listened closely if I had when anyone up. Neither me nor Marco heard anything so we went back to our conversation.

„Ever heard of the saying ‚Opposites attract'?" Marco asked and I nodded slowly in response. „Just look at Jean and me."

„I'd rather not."

„We may not be as different as you and Levi are but nevertheless, we don't have a lot in common either." He had this faint glimmer in his eyes when he was talking about Jean. Gosh, that boy was head over heels for that horse face. „Jean has traits that I don't and the other way around. We complement each other and that's why it's working out. Like two pieces of a puzzle. You and Levi may despise each other but that's just an act to cover up that both of you don't want to admit that you realized what a perfect match your are for one another."

It pained me to only think about it but I really admired Levi for who he was. He's got his shit together, that's for sure, unlike me who barely dares to stand up against his sister and is afraid to live life on his own. Levi is strong, independent, sexy, incredibly talented and basically everything that I'm not. But he is also rude, likes to hurt and use people and doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. Once again, everything that I'm not. We are complete opposites, that word might have been only invented to describe us, but do we really attract?

„I don't know if we would complement each other the same way like you and Jean do." I sighed and let my head fall forward. „I just know that he's everything I'm not, the good and the bad, and that just calls for trouble."

„It's up to you to decide if you want to be biggest enemies or closest lovers. There's no in-between." Marco rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his black hair. „I should go back to bed, I'm not really up for an all-nighter."

„Good night… and thanks for the cheer up."

„I try my best." He gave me one of his soft smiles and left my room, the door squeaking a goodbye when he closed it behind him.

With a sigh I fell back onto my blanket, the empty plate sliding sideways off my lap and landing on the blanket as well. Once again I found myself staring off into space, not really knowing I was thinking about. My mind was blank as if someone just wiped all the thoughts out of my brain with a wet tissue and left nothing behind except the faint smell of tea and cleaning supplies.

/

Sunday was a pain in the ass. The only positive thing about it was that Mikasa had to work, as well as Annie and Sasha, so I didn't have to spend the entire day avoiding her. I was still mad at her even though I didn't want to be anymore but I wouldn't back down now. She had to apologize and until she did, I'd stay angry.

Armin came to my room every once in a while to chat a bit, knowing I didn't want to talk about the recent events, and tried to set my mind onto something that didn't involve midgets or sisters. I finally agreed to join the others in the living room who were playing a heated game of monopoly. I didn't like to play it myself but watching them discuss over every single move, like whether Jean lending Marco money was against the rules, turned out to be quite amusing.  
Yet as soon as my sister got off work and entered the house, the fun time was over. The tension between us was almost unbearable and it obviously didn't go unnoticed by everyone else in the room. It was just an awkward silence from then on and everyone slowly left Mikasa and me alone in the living room. When I also got up to lock myself back inside my room, she gave me an apologetic look but I tried my best to ignore it and simply left. That look won't replace a worded out apology.

/

It was finally Monday. After another night of barely any sleep due to overthinking, I had my first actual day of work. I was glad I finally had a reason to leave the bungalow, I wouldn't have known where to go if I hadn't had one. The beach was too far away and what would I even do there, all alone? Levi's place was no option, I'd rather die than go there again, and neither was going shopping because if there's one thing I can't stand, then it's shopping. And meat maybe. And broccoli.

The bell above the door chimed a hello when I entered the quite big music shop where I was working from now on.

„Good morning, Eren", my co-worker and boss Mr. Jinn who was standing behind the counter greeted me. He had a punk-ish appearance I'd say, long blonde hair that he had pulled back into a bun, a small goatee and was dressed in complete black, beginning with his black wolf print t-shirt and ending with his black boots over his black jeans.

„Morning Mr. Jinn", I smiled at him, relieved to be around someone who knew close to nothing about me. No drama, no stupid questions and no hiding.

„I told you several times already to call me Eld. Mister Jinn makes it sound like I'm some old dude", he laughed and left his place behind the counter. „Had a good weekend?"

„Yeah." The lie made its way out with ease. „Though I'm happy to have something to do again. Thanks again for hiring me, I know a lot of people aren't too eager to hire a work-and-traveller."

„As long as you're good with instruments and not lazy, I have nothing to complain about." He walked up to me and patted my shoulder. „Your shift will be over at 5 PM, Historia should have turned up by then to take over."

I threw a look at my watch to calculate how many hours I'd have to work. 6 hours in total.

„If you follow me to the back I can show you what I have prepared for your first day, alright? Good." Eld took off to the door at the other end of the shop. I followed him, walking past a wall that was decorated with several guitars, varying in size, shape and color. I could have sworn I spotted one of the guitars that Levi had hanging on his wall, the black and white one that looked like a skull. The door to the staff- and storage room was hidden between two shelves, one filled with guitar string replacements, various screws and plectrums, the other filled with tuners, cords and headsets.

„See those three boxes?" Eld pointed at a tower of three big boxes. „Unpack them into those crates over there. There's a sheet in each of them which says how many items should be in the box. Count them and check if the numbers match. Once you've done that, take the crates into the shop and then I'll show you how to put the prices on all of the stuff and fill up the shelves. You think you can do that?"

I nodded slowly, believing that I somehow understood what he wanted me to do.

„You can drop your bag in the staff room, there's also a coffee machine if you need one. You look tired." He laughed once again and left me alone in the tiny hallway that separated the staff room from the storage.

I did as he had told me and dropped my backpack on one of the chairs in the staff room. As tired as I was, I wasn't in the mood for a coffee so I headed right back to the storage room to actually start working.  
Unpacking the boxes and counting the items wasn't necessarily difficult but due to my tiredness I kept forgetting which number I had been at and had to start all over again. Yet once I was finished counting and unboxing, I took the two crates I had filled and rolled them out into the shop. I took out the first item that was lying on top. Wonderful, I had no idea what that was. Eld was in the front of the shop, talking to a costumer and I knew that I wasn't supposed to intervene so I just turned to the shelf on my right and pretended to be very busy sorting the plectrums in the wooden basket by color.

„So, all items complete?" I jumped and turned around to see Eld behind me. I hadn't even noticed that he was done talking with the costumer.

„Yes", I answered and threw a look at the crates.

„So now to the prices. Since this shop is part of a chain of different music shops, the items we get already have prices and codes. So you take this", He handed me a device that looked a lot like a smartphone and showed me how to scan an item, „You scan the code, check if the price is correct and then put it in the shelf where it belongs. Got it? Great."

The bell above the door chimed and a group of three people entered.

„So then, get to work." He ordered and greeted the three new costumers, engaging them into a conversation.

Scanning all the items and finding the place in the store where they belonged turned out the be quite difficult. Sure, Eld had shown me around the first time I had been here but there were some items that I had never seen before. I was just standing in front of the shelf with the music sheets, trying to find out where the ‚Disney Songs for Beginners - Piano' booklet would go, when someone behind me cleared his throat. I spun around and was greeted by a pair of unfriendly looking grey eyes.

„Move." Levi ordered and I stumbled aside, letting him check out the shelf. He was wearing his usual torn jeans which I had seen on him several times now and a black and white baseball tee with a line of skeletons dressed in marching band outfits. The rather tight white sleeves complemented his muscular arms and I unexpectedly found myself staring at them.

„W-what are you doing here?!" I stuttered quickly. I had told myself so many times that I wouldn't let him intimidate me again but here I was, totally nervous and scared he might slit my throat if I said only one wrong word. It may have seemed like we had been on good terms when I left his place on Saturday but both of us knew we were nothing close to being on good terms.

„I could ask you the same, you stupid brat." He leaned forward and scanned the shelf with his eyes, not bothering to even look at me.

„I work here", I defended myself and my grip on the booklet in my hands tightened.

„Good for you." The sarcasm in his tone was too obvious to miss.

„Are you looking for something in particular?" I asked, trying my best to sound professional. I almost sounded like I wanted to impress him.

„Actually, I am." He moved his gaze away from the music sheets to look at me. „I need a new pack of g-strings for my electric guitar. No, scratch that, I need three packs. I tend to rip those more often than the others. Are you capable of getting those for me while I look through these music sheets?"

„Sure!" I nodded quickly. I was glad I actually knew where to find the guitar strings so I hurried over to the shelf next to the ‚staff only' door, picked out three packs of the strings he wanted and brought them over to Levi who was once again leaning forwards and checking out the sheets and booklets with a concentrated look on his face.

„Tch, you're like a dog that just learned how to fetch", he muttered and held out his hand.  
„Hey, I'm not a dog", I protested and handed him the strings. A ‚thank you' would have been enough but what was I expecting? This was Levi we were talking about.

„You let me fuck you like one though."

I felt my face heat up and turn the shade of a tomato when the memories that I had been avoiding the whole time came back to me.  
Suddenly, Levi stood upright and turned to stare at me, flicking his tongue across his piercing. I ducked my head between my shoulders and leaned slightly away from him.

„When is your shift over?" He hissed more than he actually spoke.

„Why do you want to know?" I crossed my arms with new found self esteem.

„Tch, I can also ask Eld at the counter if you refuse to answer me." His stare made me feel uneasy and my courage started to crumble under his glare.

„5 PM" I muttered and tried to copy his angry stare but I must have looked rather ridiculous than intimidating, judging from the amused smirk that played around his lips. He didn't raise the corners of his mouth into a smile though. His expression remained cold but I could see the effort he made not to laugh.

„I'll pick you up at 5." He decided and turned away to walk to the counter to pay for the strings with me glued to his heels.

„What?" I was confused. Totally confused.

„You heard me."

„Loud and clear but _what_?!"

„Shouldn't you be working instead of chatting with the costumers?"

„I'm not chatting I'm-"

„Hey Eld!" Levi totally ignored me and focused on my boss behind the register instead.

„Oh hey Levi. Sorry I couldn't help you but I think a few other costumers needed my help more than you. Did Eren help you instead?" Eld looked from Levi to me and back at Levi. They seemed like they knew each other but not on a friendship base. I simply figured Levi came here a lot and that's how they got to know one another.

„He did. I'll be taking these three." Levi placed the three packs on the counter and let Eld scan them.

„Three packs? You must play quite aggressively lately", Eld joked but Levi remained stern.

„Well, something has been getting on my nerves." He sighed and slightly turned his head to throw me an angry glance. „Or rather some _one_."  
I blushed once again and quickly looked away, seeming to be very interested in the concert flyers that were placed on the counter.

„You know Eren?"

„Unfortunately yes."

„That'd be $16 please."

Levi fumbled out a neatly folded 20 Dollar bill out of his turn jeans and handed them over.

„Thank you, and here's your change. Hope to see you again." Eld raised his hand to say goodbye and Levi gave him a lazy salute in return before he faced the door and pulled it open, the little bell chiming once more.

Before he stepped outside, he looked over his shoulder and right back at me who was still standing next to the counter like a lost puppy. Damn, I really was like a dog, wasn't I.

„5 PM, brat." And with the second chime of the bell when the door fell closed again, he was gone.

* * *

 _A/N  
I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I had been to a convention over the weekend so I couldn't use the time to write.  
Like always, Reviews would be super nice. And thanks so much for over 1000 views!  
I'm looking forward to the next chapter, hopefully quite soon.  
Until then  
Cheezy - out_


	14. Chapter 14

_(A/N)_

 _I've decided to make Wednesday my upload day, it gives me enough time to write a chapter and also a schedule to know that I have to stop procrastinating ad actually start writing._  
 _I'd be glad if you told me what you think of this chapter, I'm not sure if I did the right thing there...  
_ _Until next Wednesday  
_ _Cheezy - out_

 **Levi's POV** _(Warning: This chapter contains smut)_

I impatiently looked at my phone once again. 4:58 PM. Two more minutes, brat.  
I was leaning against my black pickup which I had parked right outside the music shop and was tapping away on my phone, looking busy even though I was just mashing my thumbs on the home screen while I waited for the little chime of the door to tell me that Eren had left. One could easily tell that I was nervous, I was swiping my home screen from left to right and back again, my eyes following the apps as they moved along.

I didn't even know what I was going to do when Eren would actually come with me. Not that I would leave him much of a choice. The desire I had felt when I had seen him earlier today had been unbearable and only then did I realize how much I wanted to have my hands all over that boy. I still haven't made up my mind if I liked him or hated him but I clearly didn't like the direction this was taking. Erwin had been right, I had acquired quite a liking of the boy and whether I'd like it or not, I have to accept that fact.

The quiet chime of the doorbell made my head shoot up just in time to see Eren leave the shop, his backpack over one shoulder and an energy drink in his hand. As soon as he noticed me, his eyes went wide and he quickly turned away. His feet were moving quickly but he didn't run. He didn't want to make it seem like he wanted to run away while he clearly wanted to, no doubt about it.

„Where the fuck do you think you're going?" I exclaimed, sounding as unfriendly as ever and took a step forward just in time to grab him by his wrist.

„Careful, don't spill my drink!" He warned me and balanced the can in his hand carefully, trying his best not to spill it when I tried to pull him towards me.

„I said I'd pick you up so you're gonna come with me!" I ordered and gave his arm another tug since he didn't seem to move anytime soon.

„But my mommy told me not to get into a stranger's car." He made his best attempt at a little boy's voice and gave me a sassy look.

„I have candy and little bunnies at home. They'd be so upset if you didn't come visit them." I internally rolled my eyes over the fact that I actually played along.

„You have bunnies?" His voice got higher with every word he said. I could almost picture Eren as a little boy in front of me who gets excited over baby bunnies.

„Yes and if you don't move your perfect little ass into the stupid car this instant", I leaned forward, my lips brushing against his ear, „I'm going to slaughter them all."

„Now you're just blackmailing me", Eren grunted, his voice back to normal.

„Do I seem like that kind of an asshole to you that I would kill innocent bunnies? Now get in the car already." I nodded my head towards the door I was leaning against.

„Give me one good reason why I should." He freed his wrist from my grip to cross his arms in front of his chest, covering up the skull wearing a flower crown that was printed on his shirt.

I sighed and looked up at him, my eyes locking with his. „Please?"

„Is that your reason? Please?"

„Eren!"

„Levi."

„You know I'm not giving you a choice here, right?"

„You know I could just walk away, right?"

„Tch, I wouldn't let you."

„Hah, watch me!" Eren wanted to make a step but before he even raised his foot off the ground, I had him pushed up against the door I was leaning against only seconds ago. He was standing on the road while I was still on the sidewalk so I didn't have to make a fool out of myself by standing on my tippy toes to come face to face with him.

„I can see that you want me." Our faces were only a few inches apart and I could hear his breath quickening.  
„W-what makes you think that?" He laughed awkwardly while the color of his face turned into a deep crimson.

„Have you even been paying attention to how you're acting when you're around me?" I asked him, my voice low and husky. „How you're staring at me when you think I'm distracted, how you then subconsciously lick your lips and widen your eyes."

„I don't do that!" The blush from his face moved all the way up to his ears.

„So you're accusing me of hallucinating?" I hissed and moved my face even closer to his.

„N-no but-" He started to argue but I cut him off by placing my finger on his lips.

„Prove me wrong and you're free to leave."

„Can we please talk this out somewhere else?"

„Sure but therefore you'd need to place your fucking ass inside my car!"  
I heard him hastily fumble with the handle until the door popped open. Satisfied with what I had achieved I stepped away from him and let him open the door completely to sit himself down in the passenger's seat.

„I hate you." He grunted when I plopped down on the driver's seat next to him.

„Believe me, I hate you too." I muttered and turned the key which I had left inside the ignition.

„Then why-"

„You know exactly why. Don't tell me you didn't struggle with the same problem I did because the circles under your eyes tell me otherwise."  
He sighed in defeat and I pushed my foot down on the gas pedal.

„Why would you think I was loosing sleep over you?" He asked and bit down on his bottom lip.

„Were you?" I asked back and couldn't help but copy him, my teeth scratching along the metal of the safety pin.  
He didn't respond but stared down at his lap instead.

„I'll take this as a yes." I huffed and fixated my eyes on the road.  
We drove in silence for about two minutes, not even the stereo made a sound, when suddenly something inside of him seemed to snap.

„Yes, okay, I was loosing sleep over you! Because I can't wrap my head around the fact that for some fucked up reason I started liking you! I hate you so much, we're as different as day and night, and I bet my ass that you also know that! We're like magnets, forcefully drawn to each other and it pisses me off so much! This is pure torture but I seem to love it, this is some masochistic crap!"

My grip around the steering wheel tightened to the point that my knuckles turned white and my entire body stiffened up. So I wasn't the only one who was loosing his mind over this. It made me aggressive to the point I almost broke my guitar yesterday because I need to let them out, all of these emotions inside of me that I had never intended to have yet they appeared out of the blue and were begging to be felt. And all of this just because this stupid boy drives me insane with his mere existence.

„Aren't you going to say anything to this?" His anger was obvious by the way he clenched his fists in his lap and gritted his teeth as he spoke.

„No." I growled and pulled the car around a corner.

„Why?"

„Because I don't want to."

„Why?"

„Shut up, okay?! Just shut up!" I shouted way louder than I had intended and kicked my foot violently down on the break so the car came to an abrupt halt in front of my apartment which had us both fall forward into the tight grip of our seatbelts.

Our breathing was the only sound breaking the silence as we both slowly turned our heads to face each other; and then once again our lips crashed together.  
It was like a déjà vu yet without the music and the strobing lights. At this point I didn't even care anymore about everything I had told myself. How I would never even put a finger on his skin anymore, how I would never let my desire for him control my actions again or how I would never, never ever, repeat anything from Friday night. But screw that shit, I wanted that boy and there was no denying it.

I heard Eren's seatbelt unbuckle and the metal piece clank against the door when he lifted himself out of his seat and climbed across the center console. It was hard to keep our lips connected but once he sat down on my lap facing me, we were close to inseparable. My fingers were brushing through his soft hair while his hands rested on my chest, gently pushing me into the leather of my seat. A quiet moan escaped his mouth when I let my tongue brush against his bottom lip, only to be drowned by me closing the small gap that had opened between us, having our tongues collide and fight for dominance. A fight that was way too easy to win.

„Well, someone's impatient", I breathed out when he slid his hands under my shirt and up my chest, the warmth of his fingers burning on my cold skin.

„It may seem like it but I'm not too eager to let this happen in the car", he whispered and let out a displeased groan when I moved my lips away from his to brush them along his jawline.

„I'd gladly move this to my bedroom but there's a horny brat on my lap, making it hard for me to do so." I muttered, caught his earlobe between my teeth and gave it a small tug, earning another groan from him.

I head his hand slide up and down on the door, searching for the handle. Once he found it, the door popped open and he wiggled around on my lap as he tried to get up. I hadn't expected his sudden movement so he totally caught me off guard when he accidentally ground his hips down on my crotch. I inhaled sharply and bit back a moan at the pressure on my growing erection and quickly pushed him to the side before I'd get any more pleasure out of that, making him almost fall down the step between the car and the sidewalk.

I followed him quickly, forcefully ripping my keys out of the ignition and kicking the car door shut behind me before I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him after me, inside the house and up the stairs to my apartment.

„Before we go any further", I huffed and pushed the key into the lock on my door, „tell me that this is what you want. I already made a disaster out of your first time so tell me that this right now is alright with you."

„It is alright with me." He assured me and I looked up at him, searching his face for any hint of the slightest doubt. „And you didn't make a disaster out of my-"  
The door opened and I pressed my hand on his mouth to silence him, pushed him inside my living room and against the wall next to the door.

„We'll talk that out later," I hissed and he nodded quickly in response. „Because right now I don't think either of us could concentrate on a conversation."  
While I spoke, I used my other hand to cup his crotch and give it a slight squeeze, earning a muffled moan and another nod from him.

„Good." My hand dropped down from his lips and grabbed his collar, pulling him towards me and into an openmouthed and lust filled kiss.

We slowly made our way towards my bedroom and by the time we got there, he was already half naked. His weird hipster shirt was now decorating the backrest of my couch, he looked a lot better without it anyway. As much as I tried to hate him, I had to admit that he was extremely hot and the way he looked up at me once I had pushed him down on my bed on his back, filled me with the desire to touch him. I didn't even feel like denying it anymore. I liked the kid, whether I wanted or not.

He wanted to get back up but I held my hand up to tell him not to. I wanted to see the hunger in his eyes, the lust and desire that I had seen only a tiny spark of so far. I wanted to make him want me more than he already did. I wanted him to lust after me the same way I did.

I slowly lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it aside, observing his reaction. His eyes widened and his tongue flicked across his lips as he stared at my bare chest. I suppressed a smirk when I saw him shift around impatiently on the bed, the bulge in his pants seeming to grow with every second that passed.  
I went to unbuckle my belt but my hands stopped mid-action when I saw Eren stare at my crotch with such a desire that I couldn't help but smirk only the tiniest bit. I wiggled my finger, motioning him to come to me and he didn't hesitate to get up and making it my turn to be pushed up against the wall. My back hit the huge mirror that decorated the wall opposite to my bed when he kissed me almost violently and I could taste the lust on his tongue. I had decided to let him have those minutes of dominance, let him win the battle our tongues fought and let him show me what he's got. His lips trailed down my neck and my chest, hesitating when they hovered over my tattoo. He eyed it with curiosity while he let his hands slide down my abs and towards my belt, fiddling it open. For being so inexperienced, this kid sure knew how to seduce me. And that was nothing to be done easily.

With a swift motion, the buttons on my jeans popped open, having them slide down my hips and I slowly realized what he was up to. That boy's got some guts. An amused look crossed my stern face as he sunk to his knees in front of me and gazed up to meet my eyes as if to ask for permission. I nodded slowly; Permission granted.

He wasted no time, pulled the rim of my boxers down and I sighed with relief when my throbbing erection sprung free. Eren's gaze lingered on my hard cock and I could tell that he was scared. I placed my hand under his chin and tilted it up, making him look at me once again.

„Think of it as a lollipop. You hold it", I guided one of his hands that were still holding on to my boxers to wrap around the base of my erection, „and you suck it."

I let go of his chin and leant back to meet the mirror behind me, watching him as he slowly lowered his head and wrapped his lips around the head. I let out a deep breath, the warmth of his mouth was a bliss and the way he flicked his tongue across my swollen tip had me biting back my moans. I'm not the type of guy who groans and moans and yelps and whines. But once you get me to make a sound, you know you're doing well.

„Fuck", I hissed through my gritted teeth when he slid his lips further down and back up again, syncing the movement with his hand on the base.  
I buried one hand in his brown hair and held onto the doorframe next to me with the other. My knees wanted to give in but I refused to show any weakness, pressing myself against the cold glass of the mirror to keep myself upright. If I hadn't known better, I would have said that he's a fucking porn star, the way he hollowed his cheeks and pressed his tongue up against the pulsing veins sent mind numbing feelings down my cock which then turned into a tight knot in my guts.

„Eren", I panted his name which had him look up at me with his sexy green-blue eyes that were filled with carnal desire. „Oh fuck, stop!"  
He let my erection slide out of his mouth with a silent ‚pop', a thin string of saliva connecting it with his swollen red lips.

„You're going to make me cum before I'm done with you", I breathed out and ran my hand though my hair. „Get up."

He followed my order and got back up, a certain hint of pink on his cheeks and a proud grin on his face which he tried to suppress but obviously didn't work out.

„Tch, don't flatter yourself because you give good blowjobs", I grunted and pointed towards the bed. „On your hands and knees if I may ask. And get rid of those annoying pants."

„Your request is my command", he giggled quietly and crawled back onto the bed. It's not like I wanted to play master and order him around, I just felt like that if he wasn't given proper commands he wouldn't know what to do next. At least that's the impression I had had on Friday night and considering he had been a virgin up to then, it made quite a lot of sense.

I stepped out of my jeans and boxers that had by now slid down to my ankles and made my way to one of the white nightstands, pulled open the drawer and took out the last condom I found and a bottle of lube.

„Other way around, brat", I scoffed when I looked over to Eren who lay completely naked on his stomach, his head supported by his hands as he watched me.

„What do you mean, other way around?" He asked but I knew that he understood very well what I meant.

„Tch, you know exactly what I mean, you're killing my boner with this fake idiocy. I may have spared you from the mirror the last time, but this time I won't." I rolled my eyes and knelt down on the mattress, right next to him. „Come on, don't be such a wimp. If you don't like it, just close your eyes."

„I'm going to look horrible, that will be such a turn off", he complained but shuffled up onto his knees and turned around. When he sat down on his knees with his back upright, I sat behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders.

„Who said you'd have to stare at yourself? I didn't put up the bloody mirror to watch myself while I fuck someone." I whispered seductively and let my hands slide down his back, stopping when I reached his hips and rested them there. „Since we were in way too much of a fucking hurry last time, let's take it slow and make up for your wasted first time, shall we?"

„Are you serious?" Eren asked and turned his head to the side but not enough to look at me.

„Would you rather have me use you up, fuck your ass and throw you out again?" I asked back, my voice still low and husky but I couldn't hide the pissed off tone in it. I was still feeling guilty for stealing his virginity even though I had already apologized and tried to make up for it by giving a damn. I wasn't exactly trying to be nice, I just wanted to get rid of this guilt gnawing on my conscience.

„No…"

„Then stop questioning my actions!" I hissed and dug my nails into his soft skin. „Now get your ass up already."  
He followed the order without hesitation, dropped forward on his hands and lifted his ass up, giving me a perfect view of his behind.

„Tell me if I hurt you." I pressed the words out reluctantly. I don't think I've ever said that sentence before. To anyone. Even if I had given in and accepted that I acquired a liking of this brat, why to him out of all people?

I opened the bottle of lube I had set down next to me and squirted a fair amount on my fingers. Eren's anticipation was hard to miss. When I looked up into the mirror, I saw him staring at me, chewing on his bottom lip and clutching the sheets with his hands. My slick index finger found its way to his entrance, making him twitch when I slid my finger over it, covering it in lube before I slowly pushed it inside. Almost immediately did I hear a hiss coming from him. After all, he was still new to this and considering the fact that he was slightly drunk the last time, he'd need some time to adjust.

I caressed his lower back, motioning him to relax, and carefully pushed deeper inside just to pull back right away. I repeated that a few times until his hissing turned into soft moans. A second finger soon followed and I could feel him tense up but after I gave him some time to get used to it again, he even pushed back on my fingers to get more pleasure out of them. When I then added the third finger, he was squirming and moaning like he'd win a price for it. I widened his tight muscle and stretched my fingers apart until I was sure he was prepared enough.

„Don't spoil the fun by coming already", I murmured when I saw the look on his face in the mirror. His eyes were wide and his mouth open, his hair falling into his face and his hands clenching on the thin fabric of the sheets.  
I stilled my fingers inside of him but didn't pull them out yet. Eren was still breathing heavily when I tore the package of the condom open with my teeth before finally pulling my fingers out of him, earning a long sigh and a pleading look at me through the mirror. With a practiced movement of my hands the condom was rolled down my aching erection that was begging to be touched again after ignoring it for so long.

„Now that you're completely sober this time, this is going to hurt like a son of a bitch." I took a deep breath and spread more lube all around my dick. „Don't tense up, it will be worse if you do."

„I… I'll be fine." Eren's voice was trembling and he closed his eyes as if he wouldn't feel so much pain if he didn't look. He probably didn't want to risk seeing himself in the mirror either.

I took his reaction as a permission to proceed and steadied myself behind him, letting the head of my cock slip between his asscheeks when I grabbed him by the hips with one hand, the other hand guiding my erection towards his entrance. As soon as I pushed only the head inside of him, he let out a loud „Ahh shit!" and threw his head back. Whether it was pain or pleasure on his face, I couldn't tell. I was too busy trying not to let out a deep groan when I carefully pushed deeper.  
His tightness had my mind spinning already and it needed an enormous effort not to pound into him and sent him into oblivion.

„Just… just fuck me already, will ya?" He managed to say between heavy breaths and pained moans.

„Is that what you want?" I hissed and my grip on his hips tightened to keep me from slamming him all the way down on my cock.

All he did was nod, his eyes fixated on the mirror, staring at my image. I leaned forward, my lips brushing against his shoulder blades, my gaze meeting his through the mirror.

„So that is", I murmured seductively and slammed myself all the way inside him, a loud cry falling from his lips, „What you desire?"  
Our gazes remained locked, staring at each other with animalistic hunger.

„Look at us, Eren", I continued with a slow and steady voice even though my mind was yelling with lust, pulled back and thrusted deeply into him again, our thighs smacking together. His face distorted with pain but the glimmer of pleasure in his eyes remained. „So alike yet so different."

His head dropped down, only for a second, before he looked up again and licked his lips. „Let's fuck until we're equal."


	15. Chapter 15

_(A/N)  
It's Wednesday so that means here comes the update! I'm glad I got it done in time, I spent literally hours trying to find a fitting song that I could use in this chapter.  
Hope you guys enjoy the chapter and as always I'd be glad to hear what you think of it.  
Cheezy - out_

 **Eren's POV** _(The song featured in this Chapter is called Do I Wanna Know? by the Arctic Monkeys)_

„Levi?"

„Huh?"

I was on my back, lying in the messy sheets and turned my head to look over at the naked man standing at the window, his elbows on the windowsill and his chin resting in his hands. He was watching the sun dive into the ocean, turning everything a fiery shade of orange.

„What's that symbol on your chest?"

He turned around, a look of clear confusion plastered on his face.  
„That one?" He leaned against the sill and pointed at his right chest where the black ink stained his perfect pale skin.

„Yea. I've seen it before, mostly as graffiti on buildings, but I never knew what it meant." I admitted and squinted my eyes to make out the circled A above his heart against the fading light.

„And you never bothered looking it up? It stands for anarchy." He sighed and turned his back to me again, staring out the window once more.

„Isn't that the thing where you don't have any rules or government?" I wondered and turned on my side, my head propped up by my arm.

„Tch, that's one way to put it…" Levi mumbled and I heard his teeth play with his piercing.

„What's your way to put it?" I asked curiously.

„My way?" He sounded confused. Did I say something wrong? „My way to put it… didn't expect such a loaded question…"  
His voice trailed off and he seemed to think. I hadn't meant for it to be such a difficult question to answer. I simply wanted to know what it was to him because for some anarchy is a bliss and for others it's a disaster. I'd reckon first would be his definition but I was sure there was more to it than that. And I wanted to know about it, wanted to know the story behind the tattoo, behind Levi himself and what made him the way he is. But I would never dare to ask that, that's not something you ask someone you met a week ago.

„Anarchism is freedom." He stated and turned his head to the side but our eyes didn't meet. „The freedom to do what you want to, no one controlling you and telling you what you need to do. No have to's, no must's, no needs. I've been people's puppet for long enough, I am my own person and fuck the rules those people set up. Fuck them up and burn them down because I couldn't care less. America is said to be a free country. Tch, free my ass. When I came here, I felt more locked up and ruled than ever before. You can't be free and get accepted unless you are exactly what society wants you to be. And that's everything I'm not. I won't change who I am to be free but I will fight for my freedom nevertheless."

I was taken aback by his speech. I opened my mouth in an attempt to say something, but nothing came out. What should I even say? I'm sorry? I understand? I think so too? Because honestly, I agreed with him even though I never wasted a proper thought on it before. I also wanted my freedom, whether it was from my sisters control mania for example or the simple things like that one time I ran away from the orphanage when I was 10 because I didn't like the food there. Freedom and lawlessness.

„You don't have to say anything, kid," he muttered when he saw me opening my mouth and closing it again like a codfish. „I know already that you would somehow agree with me but yet you'd never fully understand. And I don't expect you to. You didn't experience what I did."

The sad tone in his voice was not to miss. Before I knew what I was doing, I was already up and had my arms wrapped around him. Both of us were still naked and our skin was still sticky but that didn't keep me from hugging him.

„I do understand", I whispered and let out a long sigh.

„What's this supposed to be?" He grunted. I was hugging him from behind, my arms locked around his chest and my face hidden in the crook of his neck.

„A hug?" I mumbled against his skin and breathed in his scent. He smelled of tea mostly, mixed with hints of fresh lemons and the smell of sweat. For now at least. He raised his hands to touch my lower arms, took them into his iron grip and pried them away from his body.

„Who said I wanted you to hug me?" He spat the word ‚hug' like it was poisonous. Just when I thought I was close to coax him out of his shell, he locked himself up inside it again after noticing he opened up a bit too far.

„How long has it been since you hugged someone?" I dropped my arms down and let him be free. He didn't like tight embraces. Too less freedom for him.

„Too long…" He turned to face me but refused to look up at me as if he feared I might see any hint of feelings if our eyes met. He gently pushed me out of the way and collected his clothes from the floor, folding them neatly and placing them on a small stool next to his wardrobe.

„Levi?"

„Huh?"

„ _May_ I hug you?"

„If you have to…" He still didn't look at me.  
I carefully approached him like he was a dangerous animal and slowly took him into my arms again.

„Happy now?" He grunted, his face pressed against my bare chest and his arms hanging loosely down his sides. I only now noticed how short he actually was. At least a head smaller than me.

„Not until you hug me back." I teased and gave him a soft squeeze.

„No way!" He argued but I just squeezed him tighter.

The more I got to know him, the more I noticed that he isn't such a horrible asshole as I thought he was. It's just a façade. And the more I got to know him, the more I could watch this façade crumble.

„I won't let you go until you do." I had to bite back a grin. This wasn't what I had expected this day to turn out to when I got up this morning. But however much I didn't want this to happen only a few hours ago, I was now glad that it had.

Levi sighed deeply and reluctantly raised his arms to wrap them around my waist. „Ten years…" He muttered.

„You haven't hugged anyone in ten years?" I refused to believe that.

„Others may have hugged me. Petra for example. Or Hanji during one of her insane moments. But I never hugged anyone… not since…" He stopped himself from talking.

„Since what?" I asked, knowing well that I should probably just stay quiet but I was too curious not to ask.

„That's none of your business." His voice was cold and lacked any of the warmth from before, if there had even been one to begin with. He wound himself out of my embrace and eyed me from top to bottom. „You should take a shower, you're all sticky and disgusting. Bathroom is next door, help yourself with the towels. And don't make too much of a mess."

„Thanks" I nodded shortly and gave him a soft smile before I left the room to take a shower.

His bathroom was the shiniest and cleanest bathroom I have ever seen. Everything was so steril that I wondered if he ever even used it. Then again, Levi himself smelled fresh and clean and I'd doubt he'd let a day pass without taking a shower and scrubbing himself until there was no hint of dirt left. In the short time I knew him, he appeared to be a total clean freak, there was no dirt to be found anywhere and his whole apartment smelled like you soaked everything with salty lemon cleanser after you spilled a 100 liter cup of tea.

I showered in a hurry, just wetting my hair without properly washing it and scrubbing the shower gel carelessly all over my body. I was done in under five minutes which must have been a personal record. After I pulled one of the towels out of the big stack on the shelf hidden behind a slim door, I ruffled my hair until it was close to dry, wrapped the towel around my waist and without even checking the mirror I left the bathroom again.

„Well that was quick." Levi greeted me when I came back into the bedroom.

„I figured you might want to take a shower yourself, so I wouldn't want to let you wait", I shrugged and forced myself to look at his face instead of other places, considering he still hadn't bothered to put on clothes and yet again just kept staring out the window instead.

„Wow, the kid's got some brain." He pushed himself away from the windowsill and turned towards me.

„Hey!" I argued and my cheeks heated up when I found my gaze slip down and stare at his body for only a second.

„Don't do anything stupid while I'm in the shower. Oh and you should probably text your sister, you received so many messages, your pants vibrated their way under the bed." Levi walked past me taking big steps and I heard the bathroom door close behind him.

I knelt down to look for my jeans and just as Levi said, I found them underneath the bed. I reached out my arm and fished them out from there, my phone sliding out of the back pocket when I finally held the jeans in my hands. It fell down on the lock button and the screen lit up.  
Mikasa only dared to send me two messages. The rest were from Armin.

I sighed and placed the phone on the bed while I gathered the rest of my clothes and put them on, my boxer shorts from the nightstand, my socks from underneath Levi's wardrobe and my shirt from the backrest of his couch in the living room. The towel I had had around my waist was now lying in what I found out to be his laundry basket in his bedroom.

The sound of the shower only lasted for about two minutes but Levi still hadn't come back out. I patiently waited in the living room, sending Armin a quick text that I'm alright, that I'd be home soon and he doesn't need to worry and also that he should tell that to Mikasa. I was still giving her the silent treatment so I refused to send her a text. Childish, I know, but that's my way to deal with it.

Soon, boredom caught up to me. I didn't have any games on my phone and Levi was still busy in the bathroom, whatever he was doing in there. Probably cleaning up after me. Looking around, I found one of his guitars leaning against the side of the couch. It was the black and white electric guitar with a body that was shaped like a skull, the same like the one we sell at the store. I carefully picked it up and admired the beauty of this instrument. I loved the design, couldn't have thought of a better one to fit for Levi and his taste in music.

I looked over my shoulder as if I feared to be observed, placed my fingers on the strings and gave them a gentle strum. I hand't noticed that it was still connected to the amp so when the loud sound came through the speaker, I let out a surprised squeal and almost dropped the guitar on the floor.

„Can you play?" I spun around at the sound of Levi's voice behind me, the cord wrapping around my legs and making me stumble. With the speed of light Levi caught me by my shoulders, saving me from causing a huge mess.

„Thanks", I breathed out and untangled my legs from the cord. When I looked up at him, my face was probably the shade of a tomato. The fact that he was wearing a pair of short black jeans and an unbuttoned blue shirt didn't make things any better. Damn did he look sexy, with his messy and towel dry black hair, his exposed chest where a single water drop was sneaking its way down towards his navel and his shirt that seemed to be a bit too large for him.

„Be more careful, you almost broke my guitar." He played it off as if he had only been concerned for the instrument but the worried tone in his voice told me that his concern wasn't only for the guitar. „So, can you play?"

„Um… kind of. I played the guitar in my high school band and did a bit of singing but nothing too amazing." I scratched the back of my head. My hair was still damp and the water rubbed off on my hand. „We even went to a competition once and came second place so I guess we weren't too bad."

„Show me what you got." Levi dropped down on his couch, his legs crossed in a feminine way and his arms spread across the top of the backrest as if to claim the whole couch as his own.

I immediately forgot every song that I ever knew and just stared at him, desperately trying to remember any of the chords I once learned.

„What are you waiting for, brat? The audience is not gonna grow any bigger than yours truly so stop wasting our time." There was amusement in his voice and I could have sworn I saw a spark of it light up in his eyes but his usual bored expression didn't seem amused at all.

„S-sure", I stuttered and strummed a random chord, hoping any song would come up in my mind. The sound echoed through the room and slowly, ever so slowly, I started to remember the chords to one of my favorite songs.

 _You're back in your practice room at Trost High School,_ I told myself and closed my eyes, concentrating on the imagination of the usual band practice. _Just play and sing like you always did for yourself. He's not even here. This is just a normal practice.  
_ The music and the words came out without having to think much about it. I was lost in my imagination and simply played for fun.

„Have you got color in your cheeks  
Do you ever get the feeling that you can't shift the tide  
That sticks around like something in your teeth  
Are there some aces up your sleeve"

I smiled to myself. Oh how fitting this song was. Those feelings neither of us wanted to admit, all fueled into this song. I wouldn't call it love, no way, but affection would be the right word. Together with lust. That's what we are. A fucked up mixture of despise and hate that is slowly turning into affection. Opposites do attract.

„I dreamt about you nearly every night this week  
How many secrets can you keep  
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow  
When I play it on repeat  
Until I fall asleep."

As soon as my mind went from imagining myself somewhere else back to him, I right away forgot the next line.  
„Hem ne neu nah nah…" I rambled and frantically tried to imagine myself back into the practice room. Luckily as soon as the chorus started, I was back on track.

„Do I wanna know?  
If this feeling flows both ways  
Sad to see you go  
Was sorta hoping that you'd stay."

I missed this, I missed singing and playing the guitar as my stress relief and only now did I notice how much I needed it.

„Crawling back to you.  
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?  
'Cause I always do  
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new  
Now I've thought it through."

I opened my eyes and spotted him observing me, his cold eyes resting on my face and a tiny smile played around his lips. His jaw was clenched tight, trying to keep the smile off his face and I quickly lowered my gaze down at my hands, concentrating on the interlude while my foot tapped along to the rhythm.

„So have you got the guts?  
Been wondering if your heart's still open and  
if so I wanna know what time it shuts."

I decided to shorten the song, repeated the short interlude once more and hummed along, then I let the song fade out.

„Didn't expect that from you", Levi admitted and my head shot up. I had been staring at my hands the whole time and almost forgot that he was there.

„That bad?" I cursed myself for blushing again.

„I've heard worse."

„Should I take this as a compliment?"

„Take it whatever way you want." He shrugged and turned his head to the side.

„Thank you then", I mumbled, unplugged the cord from the guitar and gently put the instrument back where I found it. „No chance for me to hear you sing, right?"

„This ain't a Disney Musical so don't expect me to gather my animal friends and sing for you."  
The thought of seeing Levi singing and cleaning up like Snow White with the help of birds and mice and turtles and deers found its way into my head and I immediately burst out laughing. I pressed my hand on my mouth to keep it down but Levi already gave me a weird look.

„Did I say something funny?" He tilted his head to the side and looked at me with one raised eyebrow.

I quickly shook my head and took a deep breath, hoping I would stop giggling like a teenage girl. „No no, I just thought of something funny."

„Yes…?" He asked and it took me a second to realize that he wanted me to let him in on the joke.

„I'd rather not say, I'm too fond of my life to have it end this way." Telling Levi would mean certain death. And I don't want to die today.

„I'm not a male fucking version of Cinderella, if that's what you think. I don't have to hit a few notes for my mice servants to come running and help me clean and sew me a dress and then the bippity boppity boo fairy godmother comes along and waves her wand to get me an ugly carriage out of a fucking pumpkin. My car would do just fine."

„But you have nothing against the dress, am I right?" I snorted and earned a painful kick against my shin.

„If you ever see me in a dress, make sure to put me in a straightjacket and lock me up in an asylum." He lowered his head and covered his mouth with his hand. Was he laughing?

„Why do you never smile?" I blurted out without thinking. His expression was right away back to its usual cold and unmoved state when he looked back up.

„For the same reason I don't hug people." He muttered, his voice was monotone and almost sounded scary.

„You hugged me though…" I looked down at my feet as if they were the most interesting thing on earth.

„That was a mistake. Forget that it happened." Levi untangled his legs and stood up from the couch. „I'm going to drive you home now."

„But I don't want to go home yet!"

„But I don't want you to be here any longer. Nothing personal, kid. I just want to be alone…" He didn't look at me while he spoke. He simply grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter and slipped his feet inside his black boots. I caught a glimpse of the blue bandana that was serving as some sort of belt when he bent down. He sure loves the thing, doesn't he.

„That's okay", I mumbled and put on my white converse, not bothering to tie them up.

„You left your bag in the car, didn't you?" When he finally looked at me, I could see no emotion whatsoever in his eyes. Usually I would see a hint of anger, amusement, lust or affection. But there was nothing to see right now.

„Yep", I agreed. I quickly checked my pockets if I had everything. Phone - check. Keys - check.

„Let's get going."


	16. Chapter 16

_(A/N)_

 _Yay it's wednesday!_

 _Thanks so much for the positive reviews, I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter.  
I hope this chapter isn't too hard on the feels.  
I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not.  
I recommend listening to either the Levi vs Female Titan theme or So ist es Immer once you reach the italic part of this chapter. I listened to those on permanent repeat while writing it and holy crap, I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day after finishing this.  
_ _ _I tried to keep this particular scene quite_ _close to the manga. Those of you who read it should notice a few references here and there tehehe._  
I'd be glad to hear what you guys think! _

_Looking forward to reading your reviews!  
_ _CheeZy - out_

 **Levi's POV** _(The song featured in this chapter is called So ist es Immer)(Trigger Warning - Violence and Death)_

„See ya Levi!" Eren cheered his goodbye before he shut the car door behind him and trotted along the narrow pebble path towards the yellow bungalow he lived in.

„We'll see about that…" I muttered to myself when he looked at me over his shoulder and waved his hand in my direction which I answered with a light salute.

With a sigh I pulled the gearshift into drive again and headed out of Maria district where he lived. The streets were narrow, almost alleys but the houses were wide apart and each looked the same as its neighbor, all the same shade of yellow and surrounded by a few palm trees. Neither did I like palm trees, nor the color yellow, nor the monotony of the entire district.

I drove home in complete silence, lost in my thoughts and didn't pay any attention to the traffic whatsoever. Every now and then a car honking ripped me out of my thoughts, making me either hit the breaks or speed off. It wasn't like me to be this far away from reality. But the boy planted a seed in my mind that started to spread like weed in an abandoned garden. Tch, maybe that's exactly what my mind is. An abandoned garden. A broken set of swings here, a dead tree there and a few wild flowers sparking up in the middle of the burnt grass. I missed the times when the garden had been blooming. It had been so long, I wasn't even sure if it had ever blossomed in the first place.

Why do I not smile?

My car slowly came to a halt in an empty parking lot and I realized that I hadn't driven home like I had intended to. I was so lost in thought that I drove past my house and further on until I found myself at a deserted beach. The last bit of the sun was slowly disappearing into the ocean and the dim light of the night was spreading around me after the last beams sunk into the water.

How cliché.

I rested my arms on the steering wheel and placed my chin on top of them, staring out the front window without focussing my eyes on anything. The water was sparkling in the remaining light and a lonely palm tree swung softly in the calm wind.

So fucking cliché, it made me sick.  
Play a sad song and this would've been the perfect scene for a badly written drama.

„I think I'm gonna barf", I muttered. Way too corny.  
The car engine was still going so I put the car in reverse and headed out of the parking lot. The roads were close to empty on my way back home, even though it wasn't too late yet. Only around 8 PM but no one seemed to be in the mood to hit the roads. Not that I minded. I was glad to have the whole street for myself.

„ **Chairs so close and room so small** " I sang quietly when I finally parked the car in front of my apartment. I had been thinking about good lyrics to my new song for quite some time but I still hadn't decided what to sing about. Yet suddenly, the lyrics came to me all by themselves.  
I hummed softly while I made my way up the stairs and unlocked the door, kicking it shut behind me.

 **You and I talk all the night long.**

* * *

 _„Come on, Levi! They're gonna open the doors soon!"  
_

 _„We have seats, it's not like someone will take them away from us. Apart from that, look at that long ass queue. Or whatever those people try to accomplish over there. I hate large crowds."_

 **Meager this space but serves us so well.**

 _„Excuse me, young lady."  
_

 _„Huh?"  
_ _Isabel spun around to face the man who addressed her, her red pigtails slashing around like tiny whips. A bulky man with a grumpy face was standing behind her and had tapped her on the shoulder. A police cap was loosely placed on top of his head and his thumbs hooked on the belt loops of his uniform.  
_ _I threw a quick glance over to Farlan. His face was calm but I could see that he was already thinking of a way to escape. We wouldn't be able to talk ourselves out of this.  
_

 _„This young fella had his backpack stolen", the police man waved his hand at a blonde boy around my age next to him. Sarcasm was lacing his voice when he continued. „But let me guess, this isn't the one we're looking for_ _?"  
_

 _The boy smiled smugly, making me want to grab him by his neatly gelled hair and rip his unusually thick eyebrows right off his face._

 **We comrades have stories to tell.**

 _Isabel stared at the backpack in her hands which the policeman had nodded towards and back up at his face.  
_

 _„Enfuir en un… deux… trois!" Farlan ordered and he didn't have to say it twice.  
_

 _That was what you could've called our codeword. Flee. In French, of course. It buys us some time. We can get ready to run while whoever is after us doesn't know what we're up to. We used the American's lack of French knowledge to our advantage. It worked most of the time.  
_

 _As soon as Farlan called out the „Trois", the three of us sprinted off, the policeman and the boy right on our heels. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins and my feet moved without thinking. I was used to it. The exhausting running, the anxiety of being caught and the joy when you got away successfully.  
_ _„Gauche!" I shouted and immediately took a sharp turn to the left, planning to circle the arena and lose the officer in the crowd at the entrance. The people in the queue turned their heads towards us, curious about what was going on.  
_

 _„Droite!" Farlan yelled shortly after, seeing that we were about to run into a security guard. Change of plans.  
_

 _„Fuck", I head Isabel curse behind me when she stumbled over her own feet, trying to keep up with our rapid change of directions. We were running literal zigzag, like a stupid group of bunnies trying to escape the evil fox.  
_

 _„Allez Isabel! Et laisse tomber ce stupide sac à dos!" I yelled, throwing a glance over my shoulder. Isabel was behind us, the backpack in a tight embrace against her chest. The space between her and the officer grew smaller and smaller while the space between me and her grew bigger and bigger._

 **And it's always like that in the evening time.**

 _„Barrière!" Farlan, who was to my left, shouted. Fuck. A chainlink fence was ahead of us, coming closer with every second.  
_

 _„Can we climb it?" My eyes darted around for another route. We had left the area around the arena by now and found ourselves in a long and narrow alley. The fence was still far away but there were big walls on each side of us, making it impossible to take a different path.  
_

 _„Give up already!" The officer shouted behind us, his voice sounded far away but too close to turn around and leave the alley. We were trapped.  
_

 _„You'll give me a boost!" I ordered and pointed at an open window that was halfway up the wall next to the fence. „On va séparer! I'll lead him off!"  
_

 _„Right." Isabel, who had caught up to us by now, nodded.  
_

 _„And give me that already!" I snatched the backpack out of her hands. „On y va."  
_ _I slowed down and started to jog. My breath was going quickly and my heart was pounding against my chest._

 **We drink and we sing when our fighting is done.**

 _I shouldered the backpack and Farlan gave me a leg-up so I could pull myself up by the windowsill. My own backpack was still sitting on the bench back at the arena. Not that there was anything important in it, I didn't own much to begin with.  
_

 _„Hâtez!" I pointed at the fence and threw one leg over the window frame. Hurry.  
_

 _„Stop right there!" Fuck, he's way too close.  
_

 _„Go go go go!" Isabel's voice was shaking. It had all reasons to. If we got caught that would mean either back home or orphanage. For them at least. They were still young. I didn't know what the consequences would be for me though. After all, I was turning 18 in two months so that means I would be in a shit ton of trouble  
_

 _The house I just entered was dusty and dirty. There was no furniture and the doors were either broken down or not even there. A shiver of disgust ran down my spine when I saw two clean spots on the filthy floor, hinting that there had been homeless people using this barrack as their shelter.  
_ _I heard the rattling of the fence outside and the officer cursing some incoherent words.  
_

 _„One of them went through there." I suspected that to be the boy talking. His voice was deeper than I had expected. Props to him for tagging along the whole time.  
_

 _Groaning and heavy breathing came from the window through which I just entered. He's coming after me, just as I had expected._

 **And it's always so, we live under the burnt clouds.**

 _‚Okay Levi, find the door and get the hell outta here!' I told myself. I rushed from room to room, evidently finding a staircase that lead downstairs. ‚Let's see what you got, cop.'  
_

 _I jumped down the set of steps that lead towards the front door and tried to pull it open.  
_ _Locked.  
_

 _„Merde", I cursed way too loudly. Shit. I turned around, my back against the door and my eyes scanning the area.  
_

 _Basement?  
_ _Bad idea.  
_ _Back upstairs?  
_ _Even worse.  
_

 _Desperation started to well up inside of me but I swallowed it down, trying to keep a clear mind. The last thing I needed now was fear controlling me.  
_ _Basement or back upstairs… I had no choice. I took a deep breath and sprinted back up where I had come from, running right into the arms of the officer who had been after us.  
_

 _„There you are!" He sounded surprised, as if he hadn't expected to find me here.  
_

 _„Connard!" I spat when I shoved him out of the way and pushed him violently against the doorframe. He let out a groan when I knocked the wind out of his lungs and ran past him, back to the open window.  
_ _I quickly climbed outside and knelt down on the sill. The fence was only a few feet away, if I jumped I could make it across._

 _„Damn you, stupid teenager!" The cop was panting behind me.  
_

 _No time for thinking. Without hesitation I leaped off the sill and across the fence, landing on my hands and feet and a sharp pain immediately shot through my ankles._

 **Ease the burden**.

 _I hissed in pain and stumbled away from the fence, away from the cop, away from the danger. The blonde boy was nowhere to be seen. I reached the end of the alley and found myself at a huge road. Cars were rushing by, blinding me with their headlights. It was slowly getting dark and the sky was filled with grey clouds.  
_

 _„Isabel? Farlan?" I yelled but I knew that it was useless. The noise of the cars drowned my words to the point that I could barely hear myself.  
_ _Left or right?  
_

 _I was slowly regaining my breath and remembered that Farlan always goes left. It's his thing. He always said that ‚if nothing goes right, go left'. And so I did.  
_

 _While I was jogging down the narrow sidewalk, I was convinced that I lost the cop and the boy by now. Oh how wrong I was.  
_ _I only had walked for a few seconds when a blonde boy jumped out of an alley and stood in front of me, his arms wide apart.  
_

 _„Stop!" He ordered.  
_

 _„Fuck you!" I grunted and wanted to shove past him but he pushed me away.  
_

 _„Give me my backpack!" He grabbed the strap of his bag that was still over my shoulder and pulled on it but I held it in a firm grip.  
_

 _„In your dreams, eyebrows!" I hissed. I didn't go through all of this to give up the backpack now.  
_ _It quickly became a tug of war, one strap in his hands, one in mine, each of us pulling with all our strength._

 **Long is the night.**

 _„Levi!" I heard someone yell my name. I wasn't even sure if I had heard correctly until I heard it again, louder this time.  
_

 _I turned my head to where the voice was coming from. My gaze wandered to the opposite side of the road and I could spot Isabel's flaming red hair through the cars that drove by. Relief washed over me, I was glad they were okay, glad they made it and glad I they had found me. She was jumping up and down on the sidewalk, waving her hands high in the air. Farlan was with her, his hands in his pocket, being as calm as ever.  
_

 _The boy used his chance of me being distracted to give the backpack a firm pull, ripping the strap out of my hands._

 _„Thanks", the boy said sarcastically. My eyes went back to him and my gaze darkened.  
_

 _„Give it back", I growled. My knees were bent, I was almost standing in a fighting position, my right hand raised into a fist and my left hand sneaking down my leg to my boot in which I hid a tiny pocketknife. I never go unarmed. „I said give it back!"  
_

 _I pulled the knife out and flung it open, the blade shimmering in the passing headlights.  
_

 _„Chill out dude", the boy raised his hands in defense.  
_

 _„Ferme ta gueule!" I spat and lunged forward. Shut the fuck up. He took a quick step back, diving away from the blade with a skilled move, making it look like he got into a fight every other day._

 **Just as no stars can be seen.**

 _„LEVI!" A scream came across the street._

 _„Stay where you are!" I yelled back and took another lunge at the boy in front of me.  
_

 _I only looked away for one second.  
_ _One simple second.  
_ _To check if my friends were alright._

 **We're all stars and will beam on our town.**

 _Police men. From the left and form the right. No escape. Farlan had already given up. But Isabel hadn't.  
Everything looked like it was going in slow motion.  
_

 _When Isabel leaped off the sidewalk. When she ran towards me. When Farlan sprinted after her. When he tried to grab her arm.  
_ _A loud honk, mixed with a pained scream.  
_ _Metal screeching.  
_ _Blood.  
_ _More screaming._

 **We must all gather as one.**

 _I was screaming their names on the top of my lungs, wanting to run towards where I had last seen them. But as much as I ran, I didn't get any closer. I was running in one place. Someone had grabbed my arm. When I turned my head, I saw the boy, his thick eyebrows raised in shock, mouthing the word ‚don't'.  
Screams of pain and sadness were leaving my throat when I attacked him, blinded by rage, hot tears streaming down my face an blurring my sight. I stabbed my knife into the air countless of times, hitting him not even once. It was all his fault.  
_

 _His fault.  
_ _His fault.  
_ _His fault!  
_

 _I fell onto my knees in front of him, the knife falling down next to me but it made no sound. All I could hear was myself. Sobs, screams, cries.  
_ _It had started to rain. Pouring. The hot tears on my cheeks mixed with the cold raindrops. I was freezing. Everything was cold. So cold. I wanted to wrap my arms around my torso, hug myself until I felt warm again.  
_

 _But my arms were grabbed tightly by someone behind me, forced on my back and the cold metal of a pair of handcuffs locked around my wrists.  
_

 _I didn't care anymore.  
_ _I didn't fight back when they pushed my face into the wet asphalt.  
_ _I didn't say a word when the officer explained the usual stuff.  
_

 _„Anything you say can and will be held against you." I heard the words, loud and clear, but they didn't reach me.  
_

 _I stole a backpack. What's the big deal?  
_ _They killed my friends. I'll make them pay._

 **Sing with hope and the fear will be gone.**

* * *

 _(A/N)_  
 _Sorry not sorry_


	17. Chapter 17

_(A/N)_

 _Yay it's Wednesday!  
First of all thank you for the bunch of reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad you told me what you thought, I always want you to so thanks for that.  
Considering some of the negative reviews on the last chapter, I'd like to say a few of the quick things before we start with the next one:_

 _1\. Because some may think that the last chapter ruined the story: First of all, I try to create similarities between my fanfic and the manga. I like to take existing scenes and change them up a bit so they fit into my story. With the last chapter and the death of Isabel and Farlan I wanted to explain one of the reasons why Levi behaves the way he does, why he's cold hearted, rude and refuses to let anyone get close to him. It's something that happened 10 years ago and it has close to no effect on the actual storyline. I felt like it was necessary though because there's no way that Levi (note that this is my own interpretation of the character) would ever tell anyone about that day but I wanted to explain what had happened, what shattered him and made him the man he is. It's simply meant to be a little background knowledge to understand Levi's character a bit better. Please don't hate me for it, okay?_

 _2\. Someone asked why Levi and Erwin get along after what had happened. That will be explained in the next chapter from Eren's POV along with what happened after Levi got arrested. There's a reason they get along, I planned it all out so don't think I forgot about that._

 _3\. I'm sorry the last chapter was quite short, I actually wanted it to be longer and wanted to go more into detail but I also wanted it up by Wednesday so I had to shorten it, otherwise I wouldn't have made it in time and just kept thinking and thinking and thinking about what I was going to write for another week._

 _That said, I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter. I'd be glad to hear what you think once more.  
Until next Wednesday,_

 _CheeZy - out_

 **Eren's POV**

„I'm glad you're alright…" My sister was staring at her feet, her words only a whisper.

„Why shouldn't I be?" I shrugged and wanted to walk past her but she stopped me by grabbing my wrist. She had greeted me as soon as I had walked through the door. Cheerful at first but then she must have remembered our fight and had lowered her gaze immediately.

„Don't you understand that I'm worried?" She asked quietly. We were standing next to each other, our shoulders touching, but each faced the other way. „When you're not coming home when you said you would? When you just stay gone without anyone knowing where you are? Is one simple text message so hard to write?"

I swallowed audibly.

„You out of all should know how it feels when someone you care about disappears without anyone knowing their whereabouts…"

She was guilt tripping me. And I hated that it was working.

„Don't you remember how you felt whenever our father left, saying that he'd be back soon? I remember you sitting at the kitchen window every single day, waiting for him to return, and the sad look on your face when he didn't…"

I clenched my fists as anger started to boil up inside of me. How dare she bring up our father?

„I just wish you'd understand. Yet, I'm sorry though. I know how much independence means to you. But I can't help my feelings. That's just who I am and you need to accept that just as much as I need to accept your way of being."  
I haven't heard her talk this much in quite some time. Mikasa is usually the quiet type, who only speaks when she really has to.

Slowly, I nodded and gave her a gentle nudge on the shoulder.  
„I'm sorry too. I overreacted back on Saturday. That doesn't change the fact that you're the most overprotective sister to ever walk the earth but I should have at least tried to understand your point before saying those rude things. You know I have anger issues but that doesn't excuse my behavior." I mumbled and now it was my turn to stare down at my feet.

„I wasn't the only one worried, Armin was, too. You should talk to him after dinner, he's been quite upset lately even though he's good at hiding it." She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

„Will do." I looked up and turned my head to face her. She smiled at me with worry and love in her eyes. She didn't smile much but when she did, it was genuine. I was glad to see her smile, whenever we fought I always think I hurt her enough to never see her heartwarming smile again.

„Also, in case you forgot, it's Connie's and your turn to take care of dinner tonight."

„Ugh." I rolled my eyes. When it comes to cooking I'm about as talented as a rock. I bet if I tried I could even burn water. Same goes for Connie. „Yo, Connie! Get your lazy butt off the couch, we have to cook!"  
A loud groan came from in the living room.

„I feel you." I grunted in agreement and shambled into the kitchen.

„Why" Connie whined, dragging the y with an almost agonized cry. The living room was dark, the curtains were closed and Connie's face on the couch was only lit up by the screen of his phone.

„Help me or starve", I shrugged and chuckled when Connie landed on the floor with a loud thump. „Come on, let's find something that's easy to make and impossible to ruin."

Even though Connie and me lacked any cooking skills, in the end we managed to make a nice bunch of actually edible sandwiches. While we ate, there was an awkward silence between Armin and me while everyone else was chatting and talking about random crap. From time to time I found Armin stare at me but as soon as I looked up at him, he lowered his head and observed the sandwich in his hands. Around the others he acted like his normal self but just as Mikasa had said, he was upset and I could easily tell. I may have not noticed it yesterday, being too busy pitying myself, but today it was more than obvious to me.  
After Connie and I had cleaned up the remains of dinner, I decided to pay Armin's room a visit just like Mikasa had told me. I raised my hand and knocked my knuckles against the wood.

„Come in." Armin's muffled voice came through the door. I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, the first thing I saw being Armin sitting on his bed with his laptop in front of him, watching a random show online.

„Hey", I grinned at him, hoping he'd grin back but all I got was an almost invisible smile.

„What do you want?" He sighed and closed his laptop.

„I want to ask you what's wrong", I shrugged and approached him slowly. He patted the space on the bed next to him, motioning me to sit down. I obeyed and we sat in silence for a few seconds before he opened his mouth to talk.

„Well… I feel used." He didn't look at me and stared at his hands instead.

„Used?" I raised one eyebrow. Why would he feel used?

„Don't play dumb, Eren! You know what I mean." Chewing on his bottom lip, he turned his head towards me but his eyes looked right through me as if he didn't want to see me.

„I'm sorry but I don't. Letting me guess won't bring us any further. So… Why? " I placed my hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off immediately.

„I'll tell you why. As soon as you have something better to do or someone better to talk with, you dump me! Remember on Friday? You told me you'd be back in a minute. After about 30 minutes I run into Erwin by accident and he tells me that he spotted you and Levi making out like frickin' porn stars in a corner before both of you disappeared!" His voice rose and I had to swallow down the lump of guilt that had appeared in my throat. „Then, twelve hours later, you come back home after ignoring all my texts and just lock yourself up in your room! I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about what had happened but you could have at least told me that you're fine! Don't you understand how worried I was? You disappear with the man you told me you hated and expect me not to care? I thought you would come to me and explain why you left me behind at the club without a word but nope, you just wallow in self-pity in your room!"

Was today international guilt-trip Eren Jäger day? I don't think I've ever felt worse than right now. I hurt my sister and my best friend, who is also like a brother to me, and didn't even give a damn so far.

„I prepared dinner, vegetarian special, just for you because I know you love veggie-wraps. But do I get a thank you? No. What I got was a sulky Eren for the entire next day who was complaining as soon as he opened his mouth! Then today, you told us you'd be back by 5:30 PM but when do you finally arrive? Three hours later! I don't want to know where you were or what you did because I think I know already." Armin finished his rant and took a deep breath. „You always tell me I'm your best friend but most of the time you just take me for granted, as if I'd always cover for you, care for you and cheer you up. And I get close to nothing in return…"

„I…" I started but I didn't even know what I wanted to say. He was right. I've been an ass towards him ever since we arrived here.

„It's okay, I know you're sorry." He sighed and finally looked at me. His blue eyes weren't shining like usual and his eyebrows were furrowed in grief.

„A sorry won't make up for treating you like shit", I mumbled.

„Yea…"

„I'll make it up to you, okay?

„Okay…"

Silence spread around the room as neither of us knew what to say.

„So… you and Levi…" Armin started and tugged a few strands of his blond hair behind his ear. „Is that a thing?"

„I don't really know, to be honest. He stopped by at the music shop today to buy some stuff and then one thing lead to another, just like on Friday. It's like we can't control ourselves whenever we meet. We either start a huge fight or we… well… yeah." I blushed, not wanting to say it out loud.

„I know I said I don't want to know anything about what you guys did but… who's bottom?" Armin asked cheekily. It's incredible how quickly his mood can change from sad and hurt to cheeky and curious.

„Armin!" I covered my face with my hands.

„No way!" He laughed quietly. „ _You're_ bottom?"

„Shut up", I silenced him and giggled awkwardly. „It's not like I had a choice."

„I guess so", Armin chuckled and nudged my arm. „Oh, before I forget: Erwin wanted to talk to you. He told me to give you his phone number."

„Wait, what?" I peaked through my fingers to stare at him in confusion.

„He drove me home after you and Levi dumped us. We talked a bit and exchanged phone numbers. We've been texting quite a bunch." He explained and a tiny bit of pink stained his cheeks.

„What?" My hands dropped down. „Don't tell me you…"

„Oh god no no no no!" He waved his hands in front of him in defense. „He just offered to give me a lift home, nothing else!"

„Okaay?" I frowned and shook my head. „So why would he want to talk to me? Did I fuck his boyfriend or something? If so, I wasn't the one who initiated it."  
I saw Armin twitch at the word ‚fuck'. He never uses any swear words and can't stand to hear them either. He's such an innocent boy, I sometimes want to cuddle him to death.

„He didn't say why, he just asked if he could talk to you about something. Wait, I'll give you his number." He reached across his bed for his phone and unlocked it, searching his contacts for Erwin's number. „Here we are."  
He dictated the number which I then typed into my phone and saved it under Erwin's name.

„What should I even text him?" I tapped the letter sign next to the number, the message app opened and an empty chat with Erwin popped up.

„Just write who you are and that he wanted to talk to you. I know, he may seem intimidating but he's a nice guy." Armin snatched the phone out of my hands. seeing that my thumbs simply hovered over the screen and typed in a quick message and before I could even argue, he had already hit send.

 **Eren:** Hello Erwin, this is Eren. Armin told me that you wanted to talk to me. So what's up? :)

„That's not how I write!" I exclaimed when I saw the message. „I never use that emoticon, it looks so pissed off and sarcastic."

„Calm down, at least I didn't make you look stupid", Armin stuck his tongue out and handed me back my phone.

„Wow, thank you so much Armin", I grumbled but couldn't help but giggle quietly.

 **Erwin:** Hello Eren. Yes, I did want to talk to you. Could we per chance arrange a meeting, tomorrow perhaps? I would like to discuss something with you in person.

„Well that was quick", I stared at the message I had just received. „Is he always this formal? It sounds so weird, like I'm texting with my boss or something."

„Yes, he always is", Armin commented as he read Erwin's response. „I don't think he's handling his phone very well, he's like a parent that tries to use modern technology."

„Therefore he's pretty darn fast at typing." My thumbs hovered over the keyboard once again but I still didn't know what to write.

„He uses Siri to text. Like I said, he's like a parent that tries to keep up with the newest technology." He shuffled to the edge of his bed. „Oh, and if you want to I can tag along when you two meet up."

„Good idea." I immediately started typing my response, my thumbs flying across the keys, causing several spelling mistakes on the go.

 **Eren:** I work until 3 PM timorrow but agter that I wouldnt mind meeting up with you. Would yiu mind if Armin came along?

I cringed at my mistakes but it was too late already. The message was sent and the tiny speech bubble at the bottom of the chat told me that Erwin was already dictating his response.

 **Erwin:** You need to work on your spelling, Eren. Meet me at 4 PM in front of the Rose Garrison Café. I wouldn't necessarily mind Armin to accompany you but I'd rather have a talk just between the both of us.

 **Eren:** Will do. Until tomorrow (y)

„So, what did he say?" Armin leaned over to sneak a peak at my display.

„We'll meet tomorrow at a café called Rose Garrison. And I'd gladly accept your offer of you accompanying me but I think I'd rather go alone… Gosh I already sound as formal as him!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and gritted my teeth.

„Would do you well. Levi has been rubbing off on you lately, you sometimes sound as grumpy as him." He shoved me off his bed with a sigh and I landed on my butt on the wooden floor „Now would you be so nice and let me change?"

„Yes yes, consider me gone." I heaved myself up. A tiny spark of pain shot up my spine and hissed quietly. I had almost forgotten about the constant dull pain in my ass and I almost regretted demanding Levi to show no mercy on me.

„By the way, don't think it's all hunky dory between us now. I'm still upset." Armin made his best effort at a scolding tone. „I just don't want to give you the silent treatment like you did to Mikasa. Because honestly, that's childish and won't solve anything."

„Yes… I'm glad we talked about it. I'll try my best to make it up to you, okay?" I looked at him over my shoulder and give him a soft smile.

„Looking forward to that." The corners of his mouth curved upwards.

I slouched out of Armin's room and went over to mine which was just opposite to his. The door to my room fell shut behind me and blocked off the light from the hallway that had illuminated the small space only seconds ago. I blindly searched for my dresser, my arms stretched out in front of me to guide me, but I still managed to bump into it. Yes, I was too lazy to switch on the lights, use my phones flashlight or at least pull open the curtains. I could've sworn that someday laziness would be the death of me.

I pulled my skull shirt over my head and tossed it behind me, right away followed by my jeans and socks. Pulling a random shirt out of the ‚this is where I put clothes for chilling and sleeping'-drawer, I put it on and slowly shuffled to where I expected my bed to be.

My knees hit the corner of the mattress and I right away let myself fall forward, falling face first down on the blanket. I gave a pleased groan and closed my eyes, ready to fall asleep. But oh what a surprise, I could already see myself being awake until the early morning hours. I didn't want to spend those hours overthinking again, but I just couldn't fall asleep.

I started to wonder what Erwin would want to talk to me about. Scared wouldn't be the right word to describe my feelings towards the meeting the next day but excited wouldn't be it either. I had the feeling that it would be something about Levi, after all they seemed to be something like best friends but I couldn't shake off the thought that those two had something more going on between them than friendship. The way they danced, the way I saw them kiss, I'd never do something like that with Armin. Only the the thought of it already sent a shiver of disgust down my spine. Not that I'd be disgusted to kiss Armin, I've done so already. It had been a dare and we hadn't been exactly sober but it still had happened voluntarily… The other option would have been to take off another piece of clothing in case I had wanted to refuse once more which would have been quite inconvenient considering I had been only in my boxers already. But nevertheless, the passion Erwin and Levi had poured into their kiss was something I could never feel towards my best friend. A friend is a friend and not a lover.

/

The loud beeping of my phones alarm ripped me out of my sleep way too early for my taste the next morning. The memories of the dream that I had had were slowly vanishing and all I could remember was being at a concert but I had been the only one in the audience.

I groaned loudly and rolled over on my other side, the alarm still beeping, demanding me to get up. Kicking my covers off of me, I slowly shuffled out of the bed and went to retrieve my phone that I had left in the pocket of my jeans which I had thrown somewhere behind me last night. I found them hanging over the lamp on my nightstand. With a tiny hint of embarrassment for totally no reason, I took them down and fished my beeping and vibrating phone out of the back pocket to switch the alarm off.

My eyes still halfway closed, I stumbled out of my room and into the kitchen to get myself a cup of Matcha Latte. It took me some time to get accustomed to the disgusting taste of it, something like weed and hay with candied milk, but now I'm totally addicted to it.  
I had to squint my eyes to actually find the box with the Matcha powder in the cupboard. My eyesight likes to vary from quite well without my glasses to totally horrible aka as blind as a mole on certain days. Today seemed to be one of the bad days. I inwardly rolled my eyes when I thought of having to put on my glasses. They made me look like a total nerd but I'd rather look like a nerd than mistake a toddler for a garbage can.

I poured myself a cup of milk and heated it up in the microwave before adding the Matcha powder. Leaning against the counter, I sipped on my hot drink and waited to finally wake up completely.

„Morning", Sasha greeted me sleepily when she also came into the kitchen, heading for the fridge right away.

„Morning", I mumbled, just as sleepily as her.

She stuck her head into the fridge and took out several things, including a pack of cheese, three carrots, one cucumber and a chocolate bar that we only stored in the fridge because cold chocolate tastes better than room temperature chocolate. With all the loot she found, she disappeared back into her and Annie's room. I could already imagine Annie's pissed off mood when she found out that Sasha raided the fridge and ate it all up without sharing anything.

A quick glance at the clock on the microwave made me almost spill my loved drink and I downed it in one go before hurrying back to my room. Only one more hour until I have to start work of which half an hour I would be spending on the bus and walking.

„Crap, crap, crap!" I cursed quietly while jumping up and down, trying to pull up my light blue skinny jeans.  
Two not matching socks, an oversized green button up shirt and my grey beanie followed to hide the mess that you'd call my hair. Now for my glasses. I frantically pulled open the drawers of my nightstand but only found my game boy and not what I was looking for. I emptied my backpack and several empty batteries, tissues and gum packs fell out, together with my sketchbook where I like to draw the people around me when I'm in public, but my glasses stayed gone.

With a sudden brain wave I remembered that I had given them to my sister to put them in her bag when we were on the plane. I prayed that she had left her bag in the hallway instead of taking it to her room. I quickly slipped into my white converse, not bothering to tie them up, and snuck into the hallway. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I found Mikasa's jute bag hanging on the coatrack.

I reached inside and my fingers right away found the case in which I kept my glasses. Grabbing my keys and putting on the probably biggest and nerdiest glasses ever, I left the bungalow in a hurry to start another day of work.


	18. Chapter 18

_(A/N)  
_ _Yay it's Wednesday!  
First of all, a very special thank you to BlackNecko for helping me gather ideas for this chapter, I would have been stuck on it otherwise!  
_ _Second, as always I'd be super happy to read what you guys think of this chapter. Also, feel free to tell me ways to improve as well as your suggestions for what could happen, I'd be glad to twist the story to your liking. I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
_ _Until next Wednesday  
_ _CheeZy - out_

 **Levi's POV**

I was blankly staring at the ceiling above me. Another day of doing close to nothing was lying ahead of me and I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. It was 6 AM in the morning but I was already awake since two hours, observing the boring white color of my ceiling while trying to get back to sleep.

„I could clean up", I spoke to myself and cocked my head to the side. I quickly discarded that idea, everything had just been cleaned last night to get Eren's smell out of the apartment and doing a rerun of that would only be a waste of cleaning supplies.  
I sighed deeply and tried to gather my will to get out of bed and do something productive. Anything. With a second sigh I kicked my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, my face buried in my hands and my elbows resting on my knees.

„Fucking Insomnia", I muttered and turned my head to throw a look at myself in the mirror opposite to the bed. The circles under my eyes had grown even bigger and darker than they were before, which I had thought would be impossible. Despite lying awake and rolling around for several hours, my hair was neatly falling down to the sides, a few strands covering my eyes while a murderous expression was plastered all over my face. Nothing out of the ordinary. I heaved myself up and plodded out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, filling up my kettle with water and heating it up. While it slowly started to boil, I prepared myself a _pain perdu,_ which was basically just a french toast because that's all my fridge would allow, and carelessly threw a teabag into a mug.

I decided to watch some television while I had my rather pathetic breakfast. My black tea was brewing extra long this morning. I remembered that my mother used to tell me that ‚the longer it brews, the longer you'll sleep' whenever I was standing at her bed, complaining that I couldn't sleep and when she then made me a cup of black tea so that I could go back to bed. I'd kill to have one last cup of maman's black tea.

6 AM Tv-program was the worst which I soon found out. Either news or kids shows. Nothing I'd be too eager to watch. I took tiny sips of my tea, no milk and no sugar, while I was just loafing around in my armchair, still dressed in my oversized sleeping shirt and boxer shorts, with a random episode of Pokémon playing on TV. If anything could bore me to the point that I'd fall asleep it would be either classical music or stupid kid's shows.

/

„YO, LEVI!" Someone shouting my name ripped me out of my doze.

„BULBASAR!" I yelled irritatedly and jumped to my feet, the half empty mug falling off my lap and shattering onto the floor, sending shards and tea flying across the parquet.

„Woah there Ash Ketchum." I spun around on my heels to see none other than Hanji standing behind the armchair that I actually managed to fall asleep in.

„You stupid four eyed shit, what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!" I clenched my fists and Hanji should be glad that there were shards surrounding my bare feet and an armchair between us, otherwise I would have kicked her right back out the door.

„Wait, are you watching Sesame Street?" She totally ignored my question and looked right past me to throw a glance at the tv.

„What? No?" I looked over my shoulder and back at the television, just to see a red talking fur ball showing off its goldfish. „What kind of crap is this?"  
I took a big step across the remains of my mug and switched the tv off.

„That's Sesame Street and you were sooooo watching it", Hanji cackled.

„I wasn't watching it, I was sleeping.", I huffed, sounding almost sassy, and knelt down to collect the shards. „Now tell me already what the fuck you're doing here. And would you mind explaining how on earth you got inside?"

„Well, it's 9 in the morning which I thought would be an… acceptable time to turn up at your place because I might need your help with something." An ear-to-ear grin spread across her face. „And when you didn't answer your door but I could hear your television, I may or may not have decided to…. pick your lock."

„You what?!"

„I… picked your lock?" She sounded way to proud about that and I could literally see the insanity flickering in her eyes and reflecting in her glasses.

„Don't you have anything better to do than breaking and entering into my apartment?" The shards that I had collected in my hand cut into my skin when I tightened my grip around them in anger.

„Nope, because I need you to help me run an experiment." Her excitement was close to scary, because whenever she was planning an experiment, nothing good will come out of it.

„Why out of all people did I have to befriend that one person in high school that turned out to be a mad scientist?" I hissed and stepped across the puddle of tea to throw the shards into the bin. Pulling a clean towel out of the small cupboard where I stored them, I turned my attention back to the mess on the floor, wiping up most of the tea before it could leave any permanent stains on the wood.

„I'm not a mad scientist! I am… well… I'm…" Hanji was opening and closing her mouth, searching for the right word.

„A maniac?" I helped her out and brought the soaked towel to the sink.

„Yes!" She exclaimed. „What? No!"

„A psychopath?" I suggested.

„Stop assuming that I'm insane!" She pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

„You just picked my lock and basically broke into my apartment and now you expect me not to assume that you have a few screws loose?" I shook my head in disbelief. „Now, unless you're going to help me cleaning up the mess you caused, I want you to leave immediately."  
I stepped up to her and gave her an intensely angry glare, which she basically ignored and started laughing.

„Yes yes yes yes." She rolled her eyes, still laughing, and patted me on the head like I was an angry toddler and she was the mom.

„Tch, don't touch my head!" I slapped her hand away and left to dry my feet and gather a mop, a bucket and a bottle of parquet cleaner so that the wood won't get damaged. By the time I got back, I found Hanji kneeling in the tea puddle and wiping some of the liquid up with her finger before licking it off of it. I had to suppress a gag sound and put the cleaning supplies down next to her.

„That's disgusting, shitty glasses. Don't you have any restraints?" I shivered in revulsion.

„I just wanted to know what it tastes like." She shrugged and got back up, tea dripping from her knees and running down her bare legs.

„Disgusting," I repeated, my eyes following one drip that ran down her leg and got lost in the fabric of her socks, and shoved the mop into her hands. „Clean that up already, unless you want to drink it."

„Aye aye Captain", she sighed and went to fill the bucket with water. „So, will you help me out when I'm done cleaning up for you?"

„Depends on what it is." I crossed my arms and leaned against the kitchen counter.

„It's a psychological test", the brunet explained with a wide grin, while pouring some of the parquet cleaner into the water.

„Oh dear god, if you exist, please save me!" I mumbled, raised my arms pleadingly into the air and looked up at the ceiling.

„He doesn't exist and therefore can't save you." Hanji's eyes were focused on the floor and she excitedly dragged the mop across the wood.

„Smart ass." I commented and rolled my eyes.

„Done!" She cheered and clapped her hands together, her ponytail whipping up and down when she jumped on the spot a few times. Sometimes I wondered if she was a crossbreed of a human and a spring. „Now to my experiment!"

I let out an annoyed groan but there was no way I could back out of it now. She already had me wrapped up in her sick experiment, whether I liked it or not.  
„How do you plan to run that psychological test of yours?" I asked without actual interest.

„I'm glad you asked!"

I've made a mistake, haven't I.

„You're the perfect test subject, that's why I came to you with it! Well, it's no secret that you're the most emotionless asshole to ever walk the earth-"

„Thanks a bunch."

„- and that's exactly why I need you. I want to find out about the effects that someone completely opposite to you, someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, someone who's open, happy and cheerful, has on you."

I was somehow sure this wouldn't augur well.

„Sooooo… I was thinking that this young boy we met on the beach the other day would be the perfect match! Eren, wasn't it?"

Well, fuck.

„What about Petra?" I suggested, trying to hide my displeasure about her idea and to not give away anything about the relationship kinda thing that Eren and me had developed.

„That wouldn't work! You two are friends and you're always super calm and nice when you talk to her, that would deliver close to no results!"

„Can't you find anyone else but him? I hate that brat's guts!" That was a total lie. But I couldn't let Hanji know. Or did she perhaps know already? That would explain her sudden interest in this ridiculous experiment. If so, I made a mental note to strangle Erwin the next time I met him.

„That's why he's perfect! You hate him, that's an excellent base to start the experiment on!" Hanji's eyes were wide in excitement and she had this creepy grin on her face which would scare the shit out of anyone who didn't know her.

„Why don't you just go back to your shitty lab and run that stupid experiment with your fucking lab rats. That's what they're for after all", I huffed and walked past her to inspect the spot that I asked her to clean.

„That's the thing, shorty!" Her nagging tone was slowly pissing me off. „I already did! And there were two outcomes! Either they claw their eyes out, literally, or they start to frickle frackle. Now I wanna know what humans would do!"

„Tch, and how do you plan to do that? Lock us up in a supervised room and see what happens?!" I snapped angrily.

„Now that you mention it…"

„Don't even think about it, shitty glasses!"

„Why not?" She acted as if it was totally normal to treat people like lab rats. That would explain why she had inspected Eren from top to bottom when she had seen him for the first time. She had been planning this all along. A small wave of relief washed over me. She didn't know shit about what had happened between Eren and me over the past few days so I scratched the mental note from earlier.

„I wouldn't touch that hipster brat with a ten foot pole!" I argued, waving my hands around angrily.

„Are you sure?" She stepped up to me and leaned forward, our noses almost touching, while she searched my expression for any hint on what was going on inside my head. She could search all she wanted, she wouldn't find anything. I had perfected the unemotional face, there was no way she could read anything in my expression.

„I am", I said sternly and stared back into her eyes, mostly just seeing my own reflection in her glasses.

„Well", she grinned, dragging out the L, and backed away from me. „If that's the case, I guess you won't mind me tracking down that so called hipster brat to find out about his side of the story."

„Don't you dare!" I blurted out and right away cursed myself for it in silence.

„Gotcha!" She yelled and pointed her finger at me with that insane grin back on her face. „Tell me everything! And don't leave out any detail!"

„I won't tell you anything!" I hissed and clenched my jaw.

„C'mon Levi!" She pinched my cheek. „Do it for the sake of science!"

„Stop treating me like a baby!" I pried her hand away from my face only for her other hand starting to pinch my other cheek.

„But you're so adorable when you're furious!" She giggled and let out a laughed which rather sounded like it belonged to a retarded hyena than anything close to human.

„I'm not adorable, now let the fuck go of me before I throw you out the window!"

„Oh, you wouldn't!"

„Try me, four eyes!"

„Yes yes, calm down you fuming garden gnome." Hanji raised her hands in defense.

„I'm just going to ignore that pet name", I huffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

„Whatever, I guess I'll just _have_ to ask Eren about further details since you refuse to tell me anything…" She sighed and turned away from me, probably ready to leave and search the whole country for that brat to make him spill what had happened between the both of us. I would rather tell her myself than have that stuttering idiot getting interrogated by her.

„We fucked. Twice. That's it." I muttered and Hanji stopped mid-action, only her swinging ponytail making clear that she hadn't turned into stone.

„That's it? Come on, there's got to be more!" She spun back around and stared at me in excitement.

„Maybe, but I wouldn't tell you if there was." I shrugged simply and countered her stare with a mischievous glare.

„That's not fair!" She pouted and stomped her foot on the ground. Now who's behaving like an angry toddler? „You gotta at least tell me something! Anything! About your feelings or his, I don't care, tell me!"

„There are no feelings involved." Another lie.

„Sure, and I'm not a mad scientist!" She rolled her eyes.

„So you're admitting that you're a maniac?" I challengingly raised an eyebrow.

„Wha-? Oh damnit!" Once again she stomped her foot, harder this time. „Whatever but please tell me more, I'm way too curious!"

„No way." I shoved her away from me when she started to inch closer again, her hands folded pleadingly and her eyes sparkling like in those stupid cartoons.

„And don't even think about interviewing the brat about this, he'd only turn the shade of a tomato and stutter some incoherent crap. I bet he wouldn't even tell his best friend about it, let alone you."

„Aww, you already know him well enough to know what he would do", Hanji squealed. „ Now that's some important information!"

„Excuse me?!" I had opened my mouth too wide this time.

„I gotta write that down immediately!" She jumped around excitedly and ran towards the front door. „This is way too exciting, thanks for your help!"  
The door opened, the door slammed shut, Hanji was gone.

I let out a long sigh and fell down in my armchair. That was certainly not what I had expected this morning to be but I won't complain. Apart from ripping me out of my needed sleep, Hanji had managed to keep away the boredom for at least a short while. I shot a glance up to the clock above the TV. 10 AM. So much more time to waste until I could try to go to sleep again. I played with the thought of calling Hanji back and spilling a story that wasn't even close to be true just to have my fun messing with her. But I quickly scratched that, she'd only tell it to everyone she knew and quicker than I could say ‚anarchy' I'd have a weird rumor spreading about me having a big orgy or whatever. Not that it would hurt my reputation or something, I just wasn't up for that kind of game right now.  
After a few moments of thinking back and forth, trying to come up with something to kill time, I decided that I would go for a jog. My stamina clearly needed some training so without further ado, I changed into black sport shorts, a grey muscle shirt and a pair of worn out trainers, grabbed a single key which I put into my pants' small zipper pocket and headed right out the door to head for the beach.

I breathed in the salty and fresh air while I jogged towards the ocean, along a narrow path between two small huts and up a dune from where I could catch a full view of the glittering sea. I always go for a run without my headphones in, I prefer listening to my surroundings, the ocean, the screeching of the seagulls and the wind blowing across the beach. It's better to concentrate on your thoughts when you don't listen to someone singing about loss or love, it only influences your mood, your thoughts and your decisions.

I didn't know how long I had been jogging along the water, lost in my own thoughts and paying close to no attention to what was around me. Only once in a while I almost ran into one of the tiny fences they built around sea turtle nests to keep people from trampling the eggs underneath the sand by accident. I was too busy minding my own business, thinking about Eren and trying to figure out what I was really feeling along with how the hell I would cope with those emotions.

After suppressing any positive feeling for the past ten years, it sure was weird to comprehend them and name them. What were they? Joy? Interest? Affection? Admiration? Awe? Or maybe even actual Love?

I cringed at the though of that word. Love. I refused to feel that. Towards anyone. And even if that brat had sparked my interest, like hell I would let myself fall for him. But to surely avoid that, I would need to avoid him in general and as painful as it is to admit it; I didn't want that.  
Stupid four eyed idiot, making me think this through once again. The more I overthink it, the more I want to kick that brats door down and make him hug me again. How did I manage to make him like me, despite all the shit I gave him. I had insulted him, hurt him, treated him like garbage and still he ended up being just as interested in me as I was in him.

It's just like Eren had said yesterday: We're like magnets, forcefully drawn to each other, it's pure torture but we seem to love it.  
I slowed down my almost aggressive pace and wiped the back of my hand across my sweaty forehead. My legs hurt and my lungs were burning. I had been sprinting for the last minute instead of casually jogging. Coming to a halt, I was trying to regain my breath and leaned forward, my hands on my knees and my head dangling down.

„Crap", I panted and looked up, checking where I had ended up. The houses looked familiar, I've found myself here several times already when I had spaced out while jogging. A faint tweeting to my right caught my attention and I drew my gaze away from the houses on my left and turned my head to the other side to see a small bird approaching me with tiny wiggling steps.

„What's up with you?" I asked the bird, knowing well that it couldn't respond to me even if it wanted to. It had a gentle look on it's face, if birds could even pull off any facial expressions, and was completely white, from top to bottom, except its left wing which was tinted a bright shade of blue.

„Aren't you a weird one…" I muttered and knelt down to get a better look at it. It was only a few feet away from me and I could already see that the white wing on the left side was hanging in a weird angle away from its body.

„That doesn't look too good." I slowly reached my hand out towards the bird, which just looked at my hand and cocked its head to the side. „I won't eat you, you know."

I know it might seem weird for a person like me but if there's anything that I'd tolerate without questioning, then it's animals. Dogs, cats, horses, frogs, birds, you name it, I like it. Animals have something innocent to them, unlike humans, and I would sometimes catch myself secretly wishing I was one of them.  
The bird slowly stretched out its neck and wanted to peck my finger, which I quickly pulled away, but I saw it as a form of communication rather than an attack. With a sigh I pulled my shirt over my head which made the bird wiggle backwards, with its body as thin as it could be.

„Don't be scared okay", I whispered and carefully approached the animal with my shirt in my hands to catch it in the piece of clothing to keep away any diseases that this bird might carry. It looked like it wanted to run away, desperately flapping its blue wing but it didn't do much.

„Gotcha", I mumbled when I wrapped my shirt around it with only the head poking out in the front, careful not to hurt the wing that seemed to be broken.  
The poor bird was shaking all over, it must have been scared for its life, when I held it close to my now naked torso and slowly walked off towards a seagull rescue centre that was further down the bay. They could help to fix that wing and maybe even tell me what kind of bird this was. I would have said dove without hesitation if it wasn't for that blue wing.

„No need to be scared", I huffed and stroked my thumb across the fabric on the birds neck. Maybe I could even keep it after the vet had it checked up… But no, that would only mean more mess in my apartment and I didn't even want to think about all the bird poop on everything that the bird could reach. Yet some company would be really nice.


	19. Chapter 19

_(A/N)  
Yay, Wednesday.  
I promise the next chapter will be more exiting than the last four ones (this one included) but those things needed to be done in order to progress the relationship between Eren and Levi.  
A big thanks to all you readers who took the time to read up to this chapter, I never thought that anyone would actually be interested in this entire story to begin with.  
As always, I'd love to read what you think of this chapter!  
Until next Wednesday,  
CheeZy - out_

 **Eren's** **POV**

„Eren? Your shift is over for 10 minutes already, you know?" The sudden voice behind me made me jump and I almost dropped the box of various cables I was carrying.

„Oh god, Historia, don't startle me like that!" I turned around and placed one hand above my heart. „You almost gave me a heart attack."

„Sorry", the blonde girl giggled and gave me one of her gorgeous smiles. Historia was a lovely young woman, around my age, and so gorgeous, she had made me question my sexuality for a second when I got introduced to her. I had met her before I got to know her properly at work, even though it had taken me a while to realize that she was one of the girls that Armin had talked to when we were at the club. She had also remembered me from that night, asking me if I per chance knew a blonde german boy with a very heavy German accent.

„Shall I finish that box for you so you can pack up?" Historia offered and I gladly handed her the box.

„Thanks a lot!" I grinned, pushed my glasses back up my nose and rushed to the staff room to pick up my bag. My glasses had been bugging me the entire day already, they kept sliding down my nose and felt just super uncomfortable. But rather wearing those horrible specs than seeing close to nothing. I fished my phone out of the small pouch on my backpack and let the screen light up. 15 minutes past 3 PM and oh crap, I forgot about the meeting with Erwin. Fortunately, I had written a reminder to pop up on my screen at 3 PM in case I forgot about it.

I quickly unlocked my phone and opened the maps app to check where this Rose Garrison Café was. Luckily it was only a few blocks away. I shouldered my bag, plugged my headphones into my phone and put them on but didn't play any music yet.  
When I left the staff room and walked through the store I raised my hand and waved goodbye to Historia and also to Eld, who was standing behind the counter, serving a customer.

„Until Thursday." Eld waved when I opened the door, the bell chiming its goodbye as well, and left in the direction that my phone had told me to go.

I pressed play on a random song in my music library and nodded my head along to the beat of The Kooks' Happy while I walked along the sidewalk. I rolled up the sleeves of my green shirt, it was warmer now than in the morning and inside the shop, and mouthed the lyrics to the song. Honestly, I was a bit nervous. I didn't know what Erwin wanted to talk to me about and that uncertainty had been nagging on my mind for the entire day. Armin had told me that there was no reason to be scared of him, that he's basically just a copy of Captain America, in looks and personality.  
That hadn't helped me at all though. I didn't like Captain America. I was more of a Thor kinda guy, or the incredible Hulk.

As I was walking, I quickly sent a text message to Armin, saying that I'm on my way to the café. My sister got a message saying that I'd be late today as well, something had come up. No explanation though. I'd tell her soon enough.

After about 20 minutes I reached a small plaza. It was surrounded by small stores and cafés and on the opposite side of the fountain that was placed in the center, I could spot the Rose Garrison Café. Next to the name, which was written in big silver letters above the door, was a crest that showed two big red roses surrounded by green thorns.

I still had a bit of time on my hands so I decided to sit down on the rim of the fountain, pulled out my sketch book and a pencil and started to draw whatever came into my mind. I wasn't exactly a good artist. All of my doodles looked horrible, but nevertheless I kept trying, trying to get better and actually make those doodles look like anything recognizable. My headphones were dangling around my neck with still The Kooks playing, but I didn't pay any attention to the music.

„Sorry if I kept you waiting."

„Waah!" It was way too easy to startle me when I was concentrated. My sketchbook fell down on the floor and I jumped off the rim, losing my balance and heading to follow my sketchbook if someone hadn't grabbed my arm in time. I looked up to see that a bulky looking blonde guy with a gentle look on his face had saved me from face planting onto the asphalt with the grace of a legless hippo.

„Oh, um… Hello, Erwin," I cleared my throat and held out my right hand.

„Hello Eren." Erwin greeted, took my hand in a firm grip and shook it. His grip was so tight I could already feel my fingers going numb. „Thanks for coming."

„Why shouldn't I have come?" I shrugged and freed my hand from his, blood rushing back into my finger tips.

„I feared you might not want to. Or you might forget. Armin told me you tend to forget things easily." He waved his hand towards the café. „Should we get inside?"

„Armin, that stupid chatterbox." I muttered under my breath in fluent German and then gave Erwin a short nod. He held the door open for me and both of us got inside. The café looked very comfy from inside, several small tables were set around the room with comfy looking armchairs and sofas to sit on and the cold grey brick walls were decorated with a few more crests like the one outside, yet only one showed the familiar roses and the other ones showed various women's faces in profile. There were a few people scattered around the café, most of them busy on their phone or laptop while sipping on a cup of coffee every now and then.

„Let's take a seat in the back", Erwin suggested and led me to a booth in the back. A small window allowed me to throw a look outside into a small garden filled with different flowers of all colors. I looked out into the garden for a few seconds before I sat down on the small couch, placing my bag next to me, and Erwin took a seat in the armchair opposite to me.

„Hello you two, what can I get you?" A bartender with basically no hair and a grey mustache greeted us, a notepad and a pen in his hands, ready to take our order.

„Hey Pixis, the usual for me, please." Erwin looked up at the man and gave him a small smile. I figured he came here a lot, hence that he ordered ‚the usual' and talked to the bartender like they were friends.

„Sure thing, Erwin. And what about you, young man?" The bartender looked over to me after he had scribbled something on his notepad.

„Do you serve Matcha Latte?" I asked and felt my cheeks heat up. Why did I have to grow up to be such a socially awkward person?

„Of course we do." He quickly wrote it down. „One Matcha Latte and the Erwin special, coming up."  
He hurried back behind the bar and out of my sight.

„I almost didn't recognize you, do you usually always wear glasses?" Erwin asked and eyed me with a curious look that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

„Barely. I think I look like a stupid nerd with them", I mumbled and quickly took them off, stuffing them into the chest pocket on my shirt as the world around me turned into a blur and I automatically rubbed my eyes as if I had caught something in them that had made my vision go blurry.

„Anyway, I didn't want to meet up with you to talk about your glasses." Well, that guy doesn't beat around the bush, does he? „I wanted to talk to you about Levi."

I immediately shrunk into a pile of embarrassment right there on that couch.  
„What about him…?" I asked innocently, trying to ignore the weird feeling that started to spread in my guts.

„He called me up on Saturday to talk to me about you. Which is by the way very unlike him." I could see him frown when he said those words. A wave of guilt washed over me. Not about anything that had happened between Levi and me, but about the fact that Levi, the asshole Levi, had been a better friend to Erwin than I had been to Armin. Ouch.

„Why is it unlike him?" I put my elbow up on the table and rested my chin in my hand.

„Let me tell you a story, Eren." Erwin let out a long sigh as if he needed to take a few moments to mentally prepare for the story he was going to present to me.

„One Matcha Latte and one Erwin special", the bartender interrupted Erwin right when he opened his mouth to say something and placed a tall glass filled with green Matcha in front of me and a big mug with an almost black fluid in front of Erwin.

„Thanks", both Erwin and I said in unison and stared down at our drinks for a few seconds.

„Your story…?" I asked carefully, not wanting to pressure him, but my curiosity was rapidly growing with every second.

„Yes", Erwin sighed and looked up from his mug. „You see, Levi and I didn't have a good start. We met for the first time around ten years ago. I was planning to see the Rolling Stones in concert, I was 16 at that time, and had saved up all my pocket money to buy the third row ticket I had always wanted. So did Hanji and Petra. Remember, the two girls that were with Levi and me when we met at the beach?"

„Oh yeah, I remember having my arm almost ripped off by the brunet one." I growled and wiggled my shoulder when I remembered her harsh greeting.

„That was Hanji, she's… one of a kind", Erwin giggled softly, a sound that didn't exactly fit his deep voice and general appearance. „So anyway, we were ready to get inside the arena when suddenly, I found my backpack missing. I've had everything in there. The tickets for the three of us, my money, booze that Hanji had got us, everything. So, usual reaction, we went to search for it and after neither of us could find it, we went to one of the security guards to tell him that someone stole my backpack. The officer I had consulted about my stolen bag soon found three teenagers on a bench near the entrance while they were scavenging the contents of my bag. Those three being Levi and two of his comrades. Now that I think about it, he actually never told me their names… We never talked about them and Levi never even mentioned them. Like he has eradicated them from his memory…"

I frowned. Where was this story leading?

„So anyway, of course, the officer confronted them about it. I had followed him along to identify my bag in case we found it and I was certain that this was mine. I still remember that deadly glare Levi gave me when I stood there, totally pleased with myself and knowing that I had them cornered." He gave a short halfhearted laugh. „Yet against what I had expected, they ran away. The officer and I were right on their heels, but man, they were fast. When they split up, I followed the two others while the officer went after Levi. They had escaped to a big and busy road and by the time I got there, they were already gone. But, to my surprise, I happened to run into Levi, who had managed to get away from the officer. All I had wanted was to get my bag back. I didn't mean to get him into trouble. Well, sure, a tiny bit of trouble for stealing my stuff, but not as much trouble as he then ended up getting into."

Erwin's expression turned grim and he raised his mug to his lips to take a big sip. I wondered what this ‚Erwin's Special' was. Didn't look too appetizing to be honest. I decided to take a sip of my drink as well, leaning forward and sticking my tongue out to pull the straw, that was hanging out of the glass, into my mouth.

„He clung to the bag like his life was depending on it, attacked me with a knife and threw French insults at me." He sighed deeply before he continued. „Until he noticed his comrades on the other side of the road that were about to be captured by the backup that the officer had ordered. I still don't know why, but the girl… She… just jumped down the sidewalk and wanted to run over to our side. She never made it across. And neither did the boy. They…" His voice trailed off and he stared blankly into his mug.

I didn't know if the mystery around Levi was slowly getting lifted or simply getting more intense with every word that Erwin said.

„That was the moment when Levi freaked." The story proceeded. „He wanted to run over to them, help them, but I had to hold him back. It would have been suicide. And he knew that. I didn't want to see third person dying that day, two had been more than enough. Then the officer that had been following him from the very start came and Levi didn't even fight back anymore. He just let himself get captured, like he had lost his sense of living. So, they took him back to the police station and started interrogating him. I didn't know what the big deal was about so I asked one of the policemen why they were making such a big fuss about it. Since I was a victim and a witness in this case, they let me in on who they thought he was. They told me that they were almost 100% sure that he was Levi Ackerman, a small criminal, well known around the city, who was stealing whatever he got his hands on but that wasn't the only thing he was said to have done. They were suspecting him of murder."

I almost choked on my drink.

„They had been searching for him for a long time, his uncle had been found dead and after Levi had sent a letter to his school that he had gone back to France with his uncle who had been dead by that time, they suspected that there was something fishy about it."

This story was getting weirder with every second and I wasn't sure if I could believe what I was hearing.

„How did you two end up being friends then?" I asked, totally confused. I couldn't explain to myself how Levi would even look at Erwin after what had happened between them. If it was even true to begin with.

„Well, long story short, I tried to bust him out." Erwin sighed and took another sip from his mug. „I told the officer that all this was just a big misunderstanding. Levi hadn't said a word to them so they didn't even know for sure if he was the one they were looking for and they were still waiting for the results from the lab where they compared his DNA with the one from his uncle. So I made up a story. That he was an exchange student from France, I don't even remember the name I told them to be his, who was staying with me for a few months and that he liked to play jokes on me so that's why he stole my bag."

„And I'm supposed to believe that worked?" I laughed sarcastically. I've been in enough trouble myself that I knew there's no way that would have worked.

„It didn't." Erwin shook his head. „I was 16, only a kid in their eyes, they didn't believe a word I said and I almost got in trouble myself for false witness. But against all odds, in the end they let him go. I still don't know why because Levi never told me what he did so that he was free to leave either. The officer just shoved him out of the interrogation room, telling me that he was under my responsibility now. Levi had nothing left for me but insults and deadly glares. Yet he knew that if he left my side and ran away, he'd only get into trouble again. And then it wouldn't be so easy to get away with it. So he stayed with me and I stayed with him."

„Why?" I interrupted him before he could continue.

„Why what?" Erwin asked and wrapped his hands around the mug.

„Why did you decide to stay with him? He has been an asshole to you so why would you do that?"

„I felt guilty. It was basically my fault that his friends had died. I took away everything he had. I owed him at least as much as being there for him when no one else could. He took me to the shack where he lived, a horrible looking hut in the outskirts of town, they called it the Underground. While he gathered his stuff he told me that he hated me. That it's all my fault. And that he will make me pay. Empty threats, but they still made me feel bad. That's when I decided to help him to get out of this dump. He was just a teenage boy without any family or anyone who cared for him. His friends were gone so what choices did he have? I could have abandoned him and left him alone in his misery, but I decided to have a heart. No one deserves what would have been ahead of him. So he came with me, he evidently started to talk to me, he came to school with me, he got to know Hanji and Petra and started to have a normal life."

„So, why exactly are you telling me all this?" I questioningly raised one of my eyebrows.

„Because I've never seen Levi react the way he does around you. I've seen him hate people, especially me, and as much as you may think he hates you, he doesn't." Erwin looked at me, his face stern yet gentle. „I want you to understand him, know that there's a sad, broken man behind his rude façade. He lets no one near him, not me, not Petra, not Hanji, no one. As much as it may seem that me and him are close friends, this is a one sided friendship. He still hates me, but out of respect and thankfulness for what I did for him, he plays along. Nevertheless, all of his positive emotions stay locked up somewhere deep inside of him and he threw away the key to them a long time ago, without any intention of retrieving it. But I believe that you, Eren, might actually help him find it."

„You think so?" I huffed and stared at my Matcha instead of him. „For all I know you could be making up this entire story."

„Tell me one reason why I should. Look at me, Eren." He sounded harsh, but his voice still had this calm vibe and when I looked up at him, his thick eyebrows were furrowed and he didn't look all too amused.

„Why should I know?" I muttered. „Maybe you want Levi all for yourself and-"

„I'm going to stop you right there!" Erwin interrupted me and held up one hand. „Levi and I may have had something going on but there were no feelings involved from either side. I don't want him. But I can see that you do."

„Yeah totally…" I rolled my eyes to stress the fake sarcasm. As if I would let Erwin know about what I want and what not. That's none of his business. „I think I should go now. Thanks for the story, even though I don't actually believe it. If I had wanted to know about it, I would have asked Levi myself."

„I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Erwin warned, but I ignored it completely.

„I don't have any intention to. If he wants me to know about his past, then he will tell me and if not, he won't. If you only wanted to meet up with me to spread this gossip that I didn't even want to know, then I guess we're done here." I got my rage up without even wanting to. But in that moment Erwin's behavior seemed so rude to me, it made me furious. You don't just go around telling people about your best friend's problems and dark backstories, that's simply wrong and like a stab in the back for him.

„One last thing, Eren", Erwin rose from his armchair after I got up and threw my backpack over my shoulder.

„What is it?" I tried to hide my anger and bit down on my bottom lip to keep it down.

„Levi is changing. For the better. He's acting strange lately, but not the bad sort of strange. He's having a battle with himself whether to give in to you or not. Keep it up, kid, you might actually manage to coax him out of his shell."

„I'll try." I grabbed my half empty glass of Matcha and chugged it down in one go before I took it to the counter in the front, put it down there with a five dollar bill and left the café without a good bye.

Once I was outside, I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. The warm air filled my lungs and a mild breeze blew into my face. It was a beautiful afternoon, too beautiful to let it go to waste by sitting around in the bungalow and playing Monopoly against Jean and Connie.

I wandered down the high street, doing some window shopping until I reached the nearest bus stop. I had slowly calmed down by now and my mind was clear enough to process what Erwin had told me. I refused to believe anything of it until Levi verified it for me. Yet how I'd get him to do that, I didn't know. Not that I had wanted to know it that badly before but now I had to admit that Erwin made me curious and curiosity is one of my biggest weaknesses. Along with kittens and chocolate.

I spent several minutes thinking back and forth, coming up with ridiculous and stupid ideas, one of them being that I'd sell the story that Erwin told me as my own and straight forward tell Levi about it, hoping he'd either say ‚sounds a lot like me' or accept is as my story and then tell me his own. Like I said, ridiculous and stupid. I knew him well enough already to be sure that he'd never do that.

I aimlessly tapped on my phone screen while I was waiting at the bus stop for my bus to come. 15 more minutes. Ugh. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the metal pole that held up the sign for the bus stop. I looked up when a red bus came around the corner and stopped in front of me, opening its doors as if to welcome me inside. I had to put my glasses back on to read the display on the side of the bus that showed the bus line and its final destination.

Line 3; Hermina Bay.  
That's the line I took when I drove back home from Levi's on Saturday. Just the other direction. I bit down on my bottom lip, staring at the open door. Should I? Or rather not?

„Are you going to get in now, or what?" The bus driver yelled over the loud sound of the engine and leaned back in his seat to give me an angry glare. Typical grumpy bus driver.

„S-sure." My social awkwardness forced me to stutter an agreement and step inside the bus, showing my monthly pass to the driver and sitting down in the last row.

The bus was almost empty, there were only an old lady sitting a few rows in front of me and a sleeping teenager in the very front, right behind the driver. I didn't even know exactly why I decided to get on this bus, the one that would take me to Levi's instead of our bungalow. It wasn't because of the driver, what he had said had only been the final push. No, I think that I subconsciously wanted nothing more than to see Levi right now. What I would do when I turned up at his doorstep, I didn't know. I just knew that I needed to see that man. Now.


	20. Chapter 20

_(A/N)_  
 _Yay, Wednesday!_  
 _Hope you like this chapter, I'm excited for what's going to come in the next._  
 _Tell me if you like it, I really hope you do._  
 _Until next wednesday,_  
 _CheeZy - out_

 **Levi's POV** _(The song featured at the end of this chapter is called Alles Dreht Sich by Kraftklub feat. Casper feat. Der König Tanzt feat. Dendemann. I highly recommend listening to it, it sets the mood for the next chapter)_

„You're doing what!?"

„I said I'm asking you out on a date." The wide grin on Eren's face started to falter but he tried his best to keep it up.

„Did you lose a bet or something?" I leaned against the doorframe of my front door and crossed my arms in front of my chest, my head cocked to one side and one eyebrow raised. I've started to expect everything from that kid by now but the thought of him asking me out on a serious date has never even crossed my mind so far.

„No? I'm serious, okay!" He ducked his head between his shoulders like a turtle that wanted to hide in its shell. His eyes left my face and he stared at his feet instead which he awkwardly shuffled around on my doormat.

„Ehm… Well, uh…" I searched for the correct words but didn't seem to come up with anything good to say. As far as I can remember, I've never been lost for words before. This brat couldn't be serious, could he?

„Can I come in?" Eren asked shyly and looked back up at me again, his face the shade of a tomato by now.

„Eh… sure." I mumbled, stepped aside and swung the door open to invite him in. As he walked past me, I stared at him with a mixture of disbelief and confusion. He had caught me off guard with his date thing so I still had to process this.

„Since when do you have a pet?" He pointed at the big paper bag from the pet store that I had placed on my kitchen counter.

„Since today." I grunted and took it down from the counter before he could look inside and empty it.

„Really?" He clapped his hands together. „What did you get? A cat? A dog? A bunny? A guinea pig?"

„A bird." I rolled my eyes at his excitement even though I actually appreciated it. He was enthusiastic enough for the both of us. „And I didn't even want it. I found it with a broken wing this morning. It didn't seem to want to stay at the help center where I had brought it so they asked me if I wanted to look after it until it can fly again."

Since when did I get so talkative?

„Even though I think the bird isn't the only pet that adopted me against my will." I threw Eren a stern glance with both my eyebrows raised. He seemed to get the hint since he then started grinning awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck.

„Are you going to call me a dog again?" He giggled softly. „Where is the bird though?"

„Still at the seagull rescue center. They're checking it for any diseases before they let me take it home." I sighed and walked over to my couch on which I had placed the big box with the cage. „Since you're here, you can make yourself helpful and lend me a hand while I put up the cage."

„I will but only if you give me an answer beforehand." He stuck his tongue out when he came to join me.

„An answer to what?"

„If you're going to go on a date with me." The color of his face turned red once again.

„Why do you even want to do that? Who put that ridiculous idea in your head?" I scoffed. As pathetic as it might sound, I've never been on a date in my entire life. I've never even had a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. At least if you ignore those kindergarten relationships that everyone had where you kiss a girl on the lips while the others are excitedly watching and then she's your girlfriend for the next three days.

„I don't know why, it was a rather spontaneous idea. I actually wanted to go home but suddenly I found myself on the bus that lead me here and only seconds before you opened the door I decided to ask you out." He shrugged it off like that happened to him every other day. He's got some guts, I'll give him that. Tch, asking me out on a date, no one ever dared to do that before.

„What would we even do?" I picked up the big box without great effort and put it down in the wide space between the kitchen and the living room.

„Well…" He bit down on his bottom lip. „Um… I don't know."

„Tch, you're asking me out on a date and don't even know what we would do? You must suck at dating, brat." I huffed and let my tongue glide along my piercing.

„I thought we were over that pet name." Eren whined and I had to bite back a smug grin. It was kinda fun to toy with him like that, his reactions were always too adorable…

„It's not a pet name, it's an accurate description." I walked over to the kitchen and pulled a small knife out of a drawer to cut open the tape that kept the box closed. „But anyway, I might have an idea where we could go."

„So you accept?" His face lit up and the happiness seemed to literally radiate around him so that I feared to get any closer to him in case it might be contagious.

I took a deep breath before I answered. „Ugh, fine. But only out of pity."

„Yay!" Eren cheered and tackled me with a tight hug, making me tense up immediately. I know I mentioned that I wanted him to hug me again yet not so unexpected and without my consent.

„Careful with the knife, you shithead." I growled and held the knife away from our bodies. „And don't hug me without my consent!"

„Sorry, sorry", he mumbled and gently shoved me away from him. „So what's that idea you have?"

„Tch, I won't tell you. View it as a surprise. Now help me build this thing up, I'm not talented with this kinda crap. I can't even put up a small table from IKEA." I knelt down, cut the tape on the sides of the box and opened the lid. A sheet with the instructions sailed out of the box and landed in front of Eren who immediately bent down, picked it up and started to study it.

„Even I can screw four legs to a tabletop, you're exaggerating." It was obvious that he didn't want to laugh but a few chuckles came out nevertheless.

„Shut it", I growled and snatched the instruction sheet out of his hands. „Now, how does one build this crap?"

„Let me see", Eren sighed and shuffled closer to me on his knees and placed his chin on my shoulder to read the instructions along with me. „Ah crap, I can't read it."

„Didn't you learn how to read or what?" I muttered and wiggled my shoulder so that his head slid off. My heart had started to pound in my chest as soon as he had come closer and that was everything but comfortable. Whatever that was, I didn't want that to happen again so I quickly put some space between us before he noticed any of that.

„You think that low of me? I simply have bad eyesight. It's worse on some days so that I actually need to wear my glasses." He fumbled a pair of big nerdy glasses out of the chest pocket of his green shirt and put them on.  
I furrowed my brows. He looked like a completely different person with his glasses on. He didn't look bad though, just… different. Smarter. And more vulnerable. Like the type of nerd that I would have beaten up in high school just because I felt like it. Yet I think he was pretty enough that he wouldn't have earned himself a beating. I probably would have developed a weird kind of crush on him and… oh god what was I thinking. I silently cursed myself for thinking about this topic again. I had told myself that I didn't want to do that anymore yet here I was.

„Now you look even more like a fucking hipster. If that stupid beanie wasn't enough already." I pointed at the gray beanie that covered most of his hair.

„Oh, the beanie!" He quickly pulled it off his head and revealed the brown mess of hair that had been hiding underneath. „I forgot that I was still wearing that."

„I can see why…" I stared at his messy hair and couldn't help but cringe. Didn't anyone ever show that boy how to use a comb?

The small aviary was easier to put up than I had expected. With Eren's help I was done within half an hour. Even though we attached the legs upside down at first. And the roof kept falling off the whole time. But in the end, we had managed to put it up with Eren doing most of the work and me just standing next to him, ordering him around.

„Phew, done!" Eren cheered and took a step back to look at the cage from top to bottom. „Do you already have a name for the bird?"

„Why should I name it? As soon as you name things, you'll get attached to them." I shrugged. „It's only going to be harder to set it free once it's all healed up."

„But you can't just leave it without a name. You've got to come up with a nice name for it, you just have to!" His nagging made me roll my eyes.

„Yes yes, I'll think about it." I growled in agreement just to make him shut up about the name thing. I'm terrible at naming things. That's why I call my friends Eyebrows and Shitty Glasses. I can only insult things, not give them proper names.

„So, about the date…" Eren bit down on his bottom lip and pushed his glasses back up his nose.

„Ugh."

„I'm free tomorrow, so how about tomorrow afternoon?" He suggested. I had hoped that he had forgotten about the whole date thing by now but unfortunately, he hadn't.

I sighed. „Fine, I'll pick you up at 3. Be ready by then or you can forget about it, alright?"

„Sure thing!" He reached out his arm and held his thumb up in front of my face.

„Ok. Could you please leave now?"

„Can't I stay a bit longer?"

„What for? To annoy me?" I grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around and shoved him towards the front door. „I have a few things to do, you'll see me again soon enough."

„You are by far the worst host I've ever met", Eren argued but I didn't care about that.

„I'm doing my best", I hissed sarcastically and continued to force him out of my apartment.

„Chill, Levi. I'm going, I'm going." He tripped over his own feet and almost fell over if I hadn't been holding him by his shoulders. What a clumsy idiot.

„Can I get another hug?" He grinned sheepishly and turned around with his arms wide open.

„Do I have a choice?" I muttered and sighed deeply. I really wanted that hug. But I would never admit that to him. It was hard enough to admit that to myself already.

„Nope." He giggled and took me into a tight embrace. A bit too tight for my liking. A bit too much hugging for my liking. I may have wanted him to hug me but that doesn't change anything about the fact that I still can't stand hugs. My whole body stiffened up automatically but Eren didn't seem to care.  
After what felt like hours, he let me go again.

„See you tomorrow at 3", he grinned and straightened his shirt before he pulled open the door behind him.

„Yeah…" I mumbled. „See you then."

He didn't even close the door again when he left, waving his hand until he was down the stairs and out of my sight. With a sigh, I shut the door and leaned against it. I just got myself my first date ever. With a boy almost 10 years younger than me that I didn't even expect to like when I first met him. He was turning my life upside down and I guess I started to actually want him to. My life has never been something exciting. But he managed to get me excited for the next day to come, eager to see what will happen.

I looked over at the bird cage. I was feeling slightly jittery about the whole pet thing. I'd go and pick up the bird from the vet tomorrow morning and then take it home. I had been thinking about names the whole afternoon already but every name I came up with was either offensive or sounded stupid. That's why I had decided to not give it a name at all. Yet Eren was right, it would need a name nevertheless. Maybe I'd let him decide on a name. After all, he's the one who wants it to have a name that badly-

My phone buzzing on the kitchen counter ripped me out of my thoughts. I walked over to the kitchen to throw a look at it.

 **Brat:** Yo, how do you spell your name again? I still haven't saved your number, soz .

I rolled my eyes. My next to last message to him was signed with my name. He can't be that stupid, can he?

 **Levi:** Are you stupid? Look at the last texts I sent you.

 **Brat:** That's the thing, I deleted them and I can't remember :')

I face-palmed myself with so much force that it actually hurt.

 **Levi:** You have the memory of a goldfish. It's Levi.  
 **Levi:** While we're at it, how do you spell yours?

 **Brat:** Eren Jäger

 **Levi:** Oh one of those horrible letters with the dots. I'll just keep you saved under Brat. Easier to spell.

 **Brat:** Thanks -.-

* * *

Wednesday. 2PM. One hour until I have to be at Eren's to pick him up. I was standing in front of the mirror, checking my outfit for the seventh time now. I straightened my jeans vest that was covered with studs and band patches and pulled up the sleeves to my white shirt that was tucked into my black jeans which had several holes all over. I didn't want to look too fancy.

„Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, you hear me?" I said when I left my bedroom and walked into the living room where a white bird with one blue wing was strutting along my white couch which I had covered with an old blanket so it doesn't get bird poop all over it. „Well what would you do anyway, you can only flap one wing and peck stuff."

The bird cocked its head to the side and looked at me with its black eyes.

„Tch, why are you looking at me like that? Do I look stupid?" I grumbled and the bird made a nodding motion with its head. „You have no fashion sense, my lady."  
The vet had told me that it certainly was a female bird yet what species it was they couldn't tell. She was completely healthy except for the broken wing so they entrusted me to take care of her until the wing has healed up.

„Come", I muttered and held out my hand towards the bird. She still didn't have a name yet. As if it was the most usual thing ever, the bird hopped onto my hand and let me carry her over to the cage that Eren and I had build up one day ago. „You know it's not normal to trust a human like you do. But then again, I don't think anything about you is normal."

I gently set her down at the bottom of the cage, where I had placed some food and water and one of those bird toys to play with, before I then caged her up. She kept looking at me the whole time and it was almost starting to get unsettling.

„I'll be back tonight, okay?" I sighed and the bird tweeted once, as if to answer me. It was nice to have someone to talk to in my apartment even though she can't talk back. It gets quite lonely in here when you're always on your own, there were some days where I didn't even speak one word because why should I? I'm alone, no one would hear me.

I slipped my feet into my black boots, pulled the blue bandana off my wrist, tied it to a belt loop instead and ruffled my hands through my hair before neatly brushing it into place with my fingers. My wallet found its way into the back pocket of my jeans and the keyring with my keys was dangling from my index finger when I left the apartment and walked down the stairs, got into my car and drove off to pick up my date. How fucking wonderful.

I listened to some music while I drove and mumbled along to the lyrics, trying to calm myself down. I've been all jittery since the moment I woke up this morning, or rather night, and I hated the fact that I was nervous about some ridiculous crap like this.

As usual, I was way too early. I'm always early even though I hate it when people show up too early as well as too late. I had parked my car in front of the yellow bungalow and was now waiting for the clock to hit 3 PM.

„A punk rock song won't ever change the world, but I can tell you about a couple that changed me…" I sang more to myself than along to the music which was still going on while I stared blankly outside. I threw a quick glance at the clock; ten minutes to three. I actually had planned on waiting in the car until Eren came outside by himself but the waiting and boredom was making me even more nervous than I already was.

So fuck it, I told myself and exited the car. The door slammed shut a bit too loudly and I could've sworn that I saw an old grandpa staring at me through his curtains from the house on the other side of the road. The pebbles were crunching under my feet when I walked along the narrow path that lead to the bungalows front door.

 _Pull yourself together Levi. Straight face, death stare, and you're good to go. Stop making such a big fuss about this crap. You're not nervous!_ I cleared my throat before I raised my hand and pressed the button for the door bell.

„Ich geh' schon!" I heard someone yell from inside. A female voice.

The door opened and as soon as my eyes locked with another pair of grey ones, the door was slammed shut again.  
„EREN! WAS ZUM FICK? WARUM IST DER HIER?" Mikasa yelled. „UND WARUM WEISS DER ÜBERHAUPT WO WIR WOHNEN?!"

Well, this was almost amusing. By the sound of it, Eren probably hadn't told her about our date.

„Oh scheiße, hab ich dir das nicht gesagt?" Eren voice sounded like it came from far away. „Warte, hast du ihn etwa da draußen stehen lassen?"

„Äh, ja?! Der kommt mir nicht ins Haus!" Mikasa argued. Their discussion went on for a little while longer until both of them fell silent and the door opened again, this time Eren greeting me.

„I'm so sorry for my sister", he apologized immediately. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and eyed him from top to bottom. He looked quite cute actually, trying his best to not look like a total hipster today with his black skinny jeans that had holes on the knees and the short sleeve t-shirt that I had given him to replace the one I tore apart. It was my old Ramones shirt which I didn't wear anymore and the dark red looked quite good on him. Better than on me at least.

„It's not your fault she's behaving like a bitch. Come." I waved my hand and turned around, heading back to my car.

„One second", he said quickly, turned around as well and yelled something inside the house. „Ich bin heut Abend wieder da, denk ich. Wenn nicht, schreib ich dir!"

„Wenn er dir auch nur ein Haar krümmt, mach ich ihn kalt!" Mikasa answered him before Eren shut the door.

„So, where are we going?" Eren asked when he caught up to me on the pebble path.

„I hope you like small adventures." I muttered and slid my hands into my pockets. I was really hoping he did, otherwise my plans for today would go down the drain.

„Heck yeah I do!" He cheered as he skipped towards my car. „Can I put my bag in the back?"

„Sure, gimme that." I took the backpack out of his hands and climbed on the back tire and then into the open trunk. My own bag was also in there, secured by a rope so that it doesn't fly over the edge when I drive over a bump. Having not much space in the front can be a pain in the ass but this pick-up was my absolute dream car and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Once Eren's bag was tied to mine, I leaped out of the trunk and joined Eren who had already taken a seat inside.

„Can I choose the music?" He asked cheerfully when he saw my phone that was still connected to the stereo.

„If you must", I grumbled and started the engine. With one hand I unlocked my phone, opened the music library and handed it to him. He immediately started scrolling through the tracks while I drove out of his district.

„Who is Riveile?" I saw him frown out of the corner of my eyes. The horrible pronunciation made me cringe.

„It's Rivaille, idiot." I rolled my eyes. „That's my alias."

„That's you?! I didn't know you produced professional music!" Before I could stop him, he had already pressed play on Reluctant Heroes and cranked up the volume.

The loud chords of the guitar blasted through the car and I almost wished for a cliff to come so I could drive off of it. The song wasn't finished yet, I only got the unclean version from the studios so far and my voice was still croaky at some points and all in all it sounded quite horrible.

„Switch that off!" I turned the volume back down since I didn't feel like shouting.

„But it sounds really good!" Eren argued but did as I told him, for which I was thankful. He was more respectful than Hanji had been so that was a plus.

„It's not done yet. It's just the unclean version which the studios sent me in advance to get my approval. Maybe I'll let you listen to it once I get the finished version."

„That would be super awesome! You know I've wanted to hear you sing the whole time." He was grinning when I tore my eyes away from the road for a second to look at him.

„Tch, I won't serenade you if that's what you're thinking." My teeth scraped along the safety pin and made a silent clanking noise.

„So to avoid that I accidentally play one of your songs again, how about I plug my phone into the stereo instead?"

„Fine. Show me your favorite song." I demanded and Eren didn't let me say that twice. The phones were switched within seconds and different guitar chords filled the car.

„Kraftklub?" I asked with a bit of curiosity. I still hadn't looked up one of their songs since I found out about them. So far it didn't sound too bad.

„You know them?"

„No… I googled what those K-Hands from your shirt stand for."

Instead of a response, Eren started to sing along to the song. I didn't understand one word.  
„Es ist K-R-A-F-T-K-L-U-B ein Jahr auf Tour! Hotelzimmerkarten leider verloren, wir pennen auf dem Flur!"

I felt like I was in one of those fucking road trip movies, where they just started their trip and then show a montage where they added one of those good mood hipster songs.

„Und alles dreht sich dreht sich dreht sich! Wer jetzt nicht trinkt der lebt nich!"

And the worst part about this? I enjoyed the song. And I enjoyed the way Eren sang along like nothing in the world could upset him, everything was fine and neither of us had any worries. I enjoyed our tiny road trip. And I couldn't wait to start our small adventurous date.


	21. Chapter 21

_(A/N)  
It's Wednesday so here comes the update.  
This happens to be my favorite chapter in this story so far, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
Please don't try to imitate any of the illegal stuff that happens in this chapter. Not that I think you would, but I feel better saying it.  
Until next Wednesday,  
CheeZy - out_

 **Eren's POV**

„Are we there yet?" I whined and leaned my head back against the headrest.

„We're driving since ten minutes. Have a little patience, brat", Levi retorted. „Only a few more minutes and we're there."

I sighed and scrolled through the tracks on my phone, trying to find something that Levi would approve of. Except for the very first song, he had grunted a „Skip" to every song I chose. I pressed my thumb down on a Blink 182 song in hope he wouldn't say no to it.

„First Date by Blink 182? Are you for real? Skip."

„Seriously Levi, you're being super rude right now! Is there anything you'd approve of?" I rolled my eyes and simply switched the music off for now.

„Tch, not on your phone, no." There was a hint of amusement lingering in his monotone voice. He was teasing me and I knew I should've just given him a witty comeback but I couldn't come up with anything sassy to say.

„Whatever then. No music for the rest of the ride." I pulled the AUX-cord out of my phone and let it drop down into the footwell on my side.

„Fine by me." Levi shrugged and shook his head a little to flick a strand of his black hair that had fallen into his eyes back into its rightful place. As he did so, I could hear the faint clank of metal against metal and could spot a silver piercing on his ear hiding underneath his hair.

„You have your ears pierced?" I asked curiously. I hadn't noticed that before.

„Yeah, I do." He brushed his hair behind his ear to show me the piercings. Three to be exact. One ring, one metal bar and one with a blue diamond. „I need to cut my hair again, it keeps covering them up. What for do I have them if no one can see them?"

„I used to wear earrings, too. Then I started stretching and got one of those flesh tunnel thingies."

„Yuck." He stuck his tongue out to underline his disgust.

„It was a lot of pain and in the end I didn't like it. So I let them grow back to normal size," I reassured him.

„If you still had those tunnels, I wouldn't have gone on this date with you," Levi stated and pulled the car around a corner.

„Levi, you're doing it again. You're being rude!" I warned him but he didn't seem to care.

„Would you expect anything else from me?" He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes, still facing the road.

„Not really," I sighed and looked outside the window. We were in the middle of nowhere, only a large building, the size of a football stadium, was ahead of us.

„Here we are." Levi stopped the car in the middle of the empty parking lot.

„Is that an old shopping mall?" I asked and squinted my eyes to make out the big dirty letters on the front wall. „Sina?"

„The Sina Mall." Levi nodded and exited the car. „Hurry up."

I hastily fumbled with the door handle and left the car as well. Levi had climbed into the trunk already to retrieve our bags. He threw mine over to me and shouldered his own before he jumped back down.

„Come on." He nodded his head towards the building and started walking towards it. I was still slightly overwhelmed by the size of the mall but quickly stumbled after him.

„So what are we doing here exactly?" I asked when I caught up to him.

„You know what a scavenger hunt is?" He turned his head to look at me,his face as expressionless as always but I saw a tiny spark of excitement in his eyes.

„Yeah I do…" I answered hesitantly, the idea of what he was up to was slowly dawning on me.

„Good."

We had reached the main entrance. The glass doors were covered in dirt and a metal chain locked the handles together, making it impossible to get inside.

„Disgusting…" Levi muttered and straightened himself before he continued. „Alright. We're going to separate here. There are several backdoors through which each of us can enter. Some of them may be unlocked, but I wouldn't count on it. There's no electricity anymore so don't worry about any stupid alarms going off. Our goal is the big ugly fountain in the center of the mall, hard to miss. We will meet there in one hour. Yet if you turn up empty handed, you lost."

„What am I supposed to bring?"

„The mall was evacuated in an instant because some idiots thought the roof was about to collapse. That was eight years ago and the roof is still intact so they made a big deal out of nothing. But because of that sudden evacuation, there's still a lot of crap in the stores. Well, as long as none of the bums raided the entire place. So your job is to find something for me. And I will find something for you."

„Oh, so literally like a scavenger hunt!" I exclaimed excitedly. This was better than anything I would have come up with for a date.

„Yeah. And take these, you might need them." Levi reached into one of his pockets and held his hand out towards me.

„What's that?" I asked and looked at his hand instead of taking what he was handing to me.

„Bobby pins. In case you need to pick a lock."

„But wait, that's trespassing. That's illegal, isn't it?" I gasped and looked from his hand into his face and back at his hand again.

„So is drinking when you're under age." He rolled his eyes. „And there ain't any ‚no trespassing' signs around here so it's not exactly forbidden."

I sighed. „Okay. But I'm gonna make it your fault if we get caught!" I nudged his shoulder playfully.

„We won't get caught." He shook his head. „Now go, and make sure to find me something cool, you hear me."

„Sure, and no dead rat for me, please", I giggled and turned to walk away from the main entrance to find one of the backdoors Levi had mentioned.

„I wouldn't touch a dead rat with a ten foot pole", I head him yell over his shoulder as he went the opposite direction as me.

The walls that I walked past were covered in graffiti; comic figures, gang symbols, several fuck you's and anarchy signs decorating them from top to bottom and from left to right. I loved Levi's idea of the scavenger hunt as well as exploring an abandoned building. That was one of the things I had on my imaginary bucket list anyway and I was proud to put a check on that one already. Yet my only worry was that I'd have a problem getting inside. I never picked a lock before so I just wished to run into a door that was unlocked already.

I didn't have to walk for long until I found the first door. I had almost walked past it since it was covered in so much graffiti that I almost couldn't tell it apart from the walls around it. There wasn't even a door knob to pull it open by so even if I managed to unlock it, I wouldn't be able to open it without losing a few fingernails. So I didn't even try my luck and just kept going in hope to find a door that wasn't busted.

The next four doors followed the same scheme as the first one. I had circled half of the mall by the time I found a door that was hanging wide open with a bobby pin sticking out of the lock. I didn't necessarily want to take the same route that Levi took but hence that he had to circle half the mall himself to find a door he could open, I won't have any luck with the rest of the doors either. He must have been extremely fast, he came by this door before I did, picked the lock and snuck inside without leaving any trace behind except for the twisted bobby pin that was stuck in the lock.

I slowly took a step forwards into what seemed to be a storage room, kind of like the one we have at work. Out of fear we might actually be caught, I pulled the door closed behind me. Darkness spread around me and I suddenly felt like I was in a horror movie. With a quick movement, I fished my phone out of my pocket and switched the flashlight on.

As soon as I raised the light source to look around the room, I found myself face to face with a pair of steel grey eyes.

„Booh!"

I right away let out a high pitched scream.  
„WAH SHIT! LEVI!" I yelled and stumbled backwards, my back hitting the door that had fallen shut behind me.

„You're too easy to scare, kid." His voice sounded like he was grinning yet when I raised my flashlight to his face again, he just stared at me with his cold eyes and murderous expression.

„Gosh, I almost crapped my pants!" I held my hand to my chest where my heart was beating like I just ran a marathon. My breath was going quick and I had this jittery feeling in my guts that I get when a giant wave of relief had washed over me.

„Please don't." He scrunched up his nose. „I already figured you wouldn't be able to open any of the doors. I just wanted to see if you would even bother trying instead of taking the same route as me right away."

He bent down next to one of the cardboard crates that were stacked on huge shelves and the floor all around the room and blew the dust off of it. The cloud of dust was dancing around in the light of my flashlight and I got lost staring at it.

„Oi, would you be so nice and shine your light at the crate instead of the dirt?" Levi grunted.

„Oh, sorry", I stammered and moved the light over to him. „Which shop's storage is this?"

When he ignored my question, I walked over to the crate and knelt down next to him, my light focussed on the lid which Levi was currently fumbling with. With a forceful tug, the lid opened and released another cloud of dust right above us. Luckily, the both of us had jumped back into safety just in time before any dust could rain down on either me or him.

I waved my hand through the dust filled air and leaned forward to check what was inside the box.  
„Well look at that, I think I already found something for you", I cackled and pulled a long strip of small plastic packages that were all connected out of the crate.

„What is that?" Levi was still kneeling a few feet away from me, probably out of fear he might touch some dirt by accident.

„Mhhh strawberry flavored." I chuckled before I tossed the strip over to him. By now, Levi had pulled out his own phone and switched on the flashlight as well.

„Seriously? Flavored condoms?" He gave me the ‚for real?'-look and inspected the packages in the light of his flashlight before he tossed them back to me.

„Apart from them being totally disgusting, they're expired by now anyway."

„Aw what a shame." I giggled and put them back into the crate. The whole thing was filled to the top with those condom strips in a variety of all kinds of flavors.

„Tch, total shame", Levi muttered sarcastically and let out a silent groan when he stood back up.

„Getting old, huh?" I joked and copied him, watching as he made his way around the shelves and crates.

„Oh, trying to make jokes about my age? One wrong word and I'll make you walk home", he grunted when I followed him while he searched for the door that would lead us out of the storage room.

„I don't even know how old you are", I argued and almost bumped into him when he stopped all of the sudden.

„Take a guess, brat." He started fumbling with two bobby pins in the lock of the door we had reached, looking rather skilled like he'd do that every other day. I heard a few clicking sounds and the door swung open, revealing a dark shopping aisle with empty shelves.

„Twenty-three?" It was a random guess. After what Erwin had told me, that ten years ago he was sixteen and met Levi who seemed to be around his age, I actually figured Levi to be older than twenty-three but I felt better telling myself that he wasn't as old as I feared he was.

„Close enough." Levi shrugged. An answer to how old he actually was, I did not get. „Voilà."  
He stepped aside to let me walk through the door first. I have to admit, I was slightly creeped out by the darkness and the silence. I waved my flashlight around, letting it wander along the shelves which were completely empty except for a thick layer of dust.

„Hurry up, I don't want to spend more time than necessary in this dirty shop." Levi shoved past me and skipped towards the gate that locked the shop away from the big halls. Like it wasn't a big deal, he dug his fingers under the gate and raised it just enough for us to walk through the small space.

Light that came from the outside flooded the shop and I hurried over to Levi to duck underneath the gate and leap into the open space of the mall. He followed shortly after me, leaving the gate open so we could get back outside again later. After both of us had switched off our flashlights and pocketed our phones again, I took a look around.  
The roof was mostly made out of glass and the bright light of the sun shone right through the dirt that had gathered up there and dipped the whole mall into a mysteriously brown and orange color.

„Wow!" I gasped and my voice silently echoed back from the walls.

The smell of disinfectant reached my nose and when I looked over to Levi, he was pouring a few drips of disinfectant into his hand before rubbing it all over his hands and wrists.  
„Let's start the hunt, shall we?" He turned to look at me and I couldn't help but grin. He looked dead serious yet he sounded like an excited little boy who just got promised ice-cream for dessert. Well, a little boy with a very deep voice.

„No dead rat for me, please", I repeated myself from earlier and winked at him with a cheeky grin.

„And no flavored condoms for me, please." A smile played around his lips but the corners of his mouth didn't turn upwards.

I'll get him to smile one day.

„Let's shorten the time limit to 30 minutes, shall we?" He suggested and I nodded. After all, this was a date. I wanted to spent time with him and not on my own, wandering empty shops and deserted halls until I could meet up with him again.

/

We split up and each of us walked off into a different direction. A lot of the shops hadn't bothered to shut their gates like the one we came through. I passed by the plaza that Levi wanted us to meet up at. He was right, the fountain that was placed in the middle looked rather ugly. Not to mention that it was dirty and rusty by now which didn't make it look any prettier.

I mumbled the names of each store that I passed by out loud; Victoria's Secret, Street One, The King's Castle, Headquarters.  
I was about to walk past Headquarters when something in the shop window caught my eye. On a small pedestal was a faceless display dummy, wearing a white shirt tucked into a pair of white skinny jeans. But the clothes weren't what had caught my attention. It was the accessory. From top to bottom, the dummy had brown belts wrapped around it, making it rather look like some kind of bondage fetish accessory than something you'd wear in public. Lucky for me, the gate to the shop was all the way up and there were no existing doors that could have been locked. I could walk right inside.

It was a quite small shop, the walls used to be of a light grey color before they got covered with brown stains and wooden shelves were all over the small space still filled to the top with clothes and accessories. Some shelves had fallen over and spread their contents over the floor.

I kicked one of the packets that seemed to contain the belt stuff across the room, having it slide all the way to the back where it stopped in front of a showcase which weren't exactly a showcase anymore; the glass was broken and shards were scattered all around the metal frame. When I stepped up to it to throw a look inside, I spotted a beige cropped jacket being on display, lying on a dark green surface. It wasn't crumbled or dirty, it looked as if someone had just placed it there. I reached out my hand, careful not to cut myself on the remaining sharp shards that were sticking out the metal frame and pulled the jacket out of the showcase. Turning it around in my hands, I could see several patches on the upper arms, the chest pocket and a big one on the back, all of them showing a crest with what looked like two white wings crossed over each other on a grey background. They were all sewn on perfectly except for the big one on the back which was almost torn off completely.

 _This is it_ , I thought. That's what I'd get him. It would totally fit along with the rest of the patches he had sewn on the jeans vest he was wearing today. Also, wings are a symbol of freedom and as far as I knew, freedom meant the world to him.

A wide grin spread across my face and I quickly took my backpack off my back and searched the small pouch in the front for my tiny pocketknife. Once I had found it, I flipped it open and cut the remaining threads that kept the crest connected to the back of the jacket. When I was done, I put the knife back into the pouch, picked up the crest, folded it once and put it into my backpack as well before I then threw the bag over my shoulder again.  
When I walked out of the store, I first checked left and right before leaving, not wanting Levi to see me and spoil his surprise. I then casually walked back the way which I had come from, heading back to the fountain.

By the time I got there, Levi was already waiting for me, sitting on the edge of the fountain with his legs crossed and his nose buried in a book.  
„What took you so long?" He asked without looking up from the book and flipped the page over.

„I still have ten minutes left", I defended myself after I threw a look at my phone to check the time.

„Anyway, are you done with your hunt? Because I am." He closed the book with a loud clap and got up from the fountain, brushing dust and crumbles off his behind. „Disgusting."

„Yes, I'm done." I nodded proudly.

„Good." He waved his hand, motioning me to follow him and walked past me, into the direction I had just come from.

„Where are we going?" I asked when I followed him, jogging a little until I had caught up with him.

„You'll see soon enough." He answered drily and kept walking.

„How come you know yourself around this place so well? Do you come here often?"

„Petra used to work here, so I came here a lot when the mall was still open. She didn't have a car and I was the only one out of our squad who did back then so I had to pick her up from work every other day." He shrugged, turned around a corner and headed towards a set of stairs.

„Was Petra your…" I started but didn't finish my sentence because Levi threw me an angry glance.

„No she wasn't. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm gay." He scoffed and walked up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. „I've never had a girlfriend. Or boyfriend."

„Are you serious?!" I gasped. Someone as sexy as Levi must have had the girls and boys running after him all the way through high school and college. He must have had at least one relationship.

„I'm not made of boyfriend material, Eren." He stopped in the middle of the stairs to turn around and look at me. „I'm not the kind of person someone would fall in love with."

„But-" I wanted to argue. Everyone is someone to fall in love with. Even him. Everyone has their troubles, struggles and imperfections. And someone out there will be able to look past those flaws and love them for who they are.

„No." Levi cut me off. „Don't make me talk about this."

„Sure…" I fell silent and followed him up the stairs and then around another corner.

There were only a few food stalls up here surrounded by tables and chairs. Levi walked right past them, heading for a dirty glass wall at the end of the hallway. The sun was shining right through it and I only now noticed that it was quite warm inside the mall. Stuffy and warm.

„After you." Levi stepped aside and opened a glass door which I hand't even seen because it looked almost exactly like the windows.

I stepped outside, the sun in my eyes and wind blowing through my hair. I heard the door fall shut behind me before Levi followed and stood next to me. We were in a roof garden, old fancy looking metal tables and chairs standing on cracked flagstones, wild plants winding around the furniture and the railing, lightened up by the bright light of the sun coming through the glass roof above us.

„Holy shit, this is beautiful!" I exclaimed as I looked around.

„It's always beautiful when mother nature takes back what once was hers." Levi sighed, sounding content and rather happy and when I looked over to him, he had his eyes closed and took a deep breath before opening them again.

„Where do we sit?" I asked and walked through the spaces between the tables, looking for a good one with a nice view.

„There." Levi pointed at a crumbled stone wall that was separating this part of the roof from another section, probably used by a different café than this one. Without great effort, he jumped up on the wall and held out a hand to help me up.

„Thanks", I panted when he helped me climb up the stones and sit next to him on the flat surface, facing the overgrown roof garden that had an amazing view over the top of the roofs in the distance.

„Here." Levi muttered and I tore my eyes away from the beautiful view in front of us to look at him. He was holding out a small package, only the size of my palm and I reached out my hand to take it.

„Is that what you got for me?" I grinned and examined the package, turning it around in my hands. „You even bothered to wrap it up, wow."

Levi just nodded and I could feel his eyes on me while I removed the newspaper pages that he had wrapped around it. Something black fell down on my lap and I quickly crumbled the paper in my hand into a ball and set it aside so I could pick up what was now on my lap.

It was a necklace, made out of black leatherette with three charms dangling at the bottom. I took the them into my hand and raised it towards my face to get a better look at them. One of them was a golden key, the top was shaped like a diamond while the rest of it looked like one of those very old keys, like the ones that opened treasure chests in pirate movies. The second one was a white plectrum with a wolf printed on it. When I turned it around, I could read the word ‚Hunter' on the other side. The last charm was a dark green laurel wreath, extremely detailed and looking rather fragile.

„Let me explain." Levi cleared his throat before I could say anything to him about the necklace. „I came across a jewelry store and picked each charm because of a particular reason. The key stands for your curiosity. Keys open doors and chests, lead to treasures and reveal truths. You're such a noisy brat, wanting to know everything, it just fits you. The wolf plectrum is more of a joke because you keep behaving like a dog yet the word ‚Hunter' stands for your name. Jäger means hunter, doesn't it? Now to the wreath. Just out of curiosity, I did a bit of googling yesterday and found out that your first name can be interpreted as a wrong spelling of the german word honor. I actually just wanted to know if it had any deeper meaning because I never came across your name before but the honor thing was all I could find. Anyway, as you probably know, a laurel wreath is given to someone to honor them. So basically, all those charms represent something about you."

I looked from the charms up to Levi and back at the charms again.  
„Wow…" That was all I could say right now. „Just wow… You put so much thought into this, I don't even know what to say."

He shrugged and stared off into the distance. „I'm glad you like it."

„I love it!" I pulled the necklace over my head and let the charms dangle loosely around my neck. „Thank you."


	22. Chapter 22

_(A/N)  
Yay, Wednesday.  
I'm glad I got the chapter done in time, I had a writer's block from last week on until this morning.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it may be a bit short and it'd make happy if you left me a few reviews :)  
Until next Wednesday  
CheeZy - out_

 **Levi's POV**

„Alright, my turn!" Eren giggled and reached into his backpack that he had placed next to him. „Don't peek!"

I sighed before I followed his request quite reluctantly and covered my eyes with my hand. I could hear him shuffling something around, fabric rubbing against fabric and a faint thud directly followed by a hissed „Kacke Verdammte". By the sound of it, he had kicked his backpack off the wall by accident.

„Okay, you can look now."

I lowered my hand and squinted my eyes when I looked at him since the sun was slowly sinking and was currently shining directly into my eyes. Eren had his hands behind his back and was grinning like a cheshire cat.

„Left or right?"

„Um… left?" I frowned and raised one eyebrow.

„We have a winner", he laughed and revealed what he had been hiding behind his back. He held it out towards me and I slowly took it. It was something made out of fabric, folded once in the middle to not give away what it was right off the bat. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye before I unfolded what he had given me. Without intending it, I let out a silent gasp. In my hands was a huge patch, bigger than the ones I had sewn to my vest, in form of a crest that showed two white wings crossed over each other. It was truly beautiful.

„Shit, this is amazing." I mumbled, wanting to show him some of the gratitude I felt. I barely say that something is good or cool or even amazing. But this one really deserved it.

„Now let me explain", Eren said in a deep voice, trying to sound like me. „The other day you told me that freedom means a lot to you. So when I came across this shop, I didn't really know what I was looking for. But then I found this jacket with this big patch sewn to the back and I right away knew that this will be the perfect thing for you. Your vest is covered with patches so I already figured you wouldn't say no to another one. Yet what I think is so special about this, are the wings. Wings are a symbol of freedom and that's all you ever wanted. If you sew this patch on your back, you can have wings like a bird and feel free."

„Tch, this is so cheesy I think I have to puke", I huffed and let out the tiniest of laughs, going unnoticed by the boy next to me. „Thank you!"

„I'm glad you like it." A hint of pink stained his cheeks and he scratched the back of his neck.

„I'll make sure to sew it to the back of my favorite jacket as soon as possible." I folded the crest in the middle again and stuffed it into my backpack. I was going to cherish this like life itself. Rarely has someone given me something that had such a deep meaning to me.  
When I turned my head to look at him, Eren's grin slowly faded and he bit down on his bottom lip. I couldn't help but copy him, licking across the metal of the safety pin on the inside of my lip.

I knew what was coming. I knew it once we had been staring at each other for what felt like minutes but must have been mere seconds. When Eren slowly leaned closer and his eyes fluttered shut before he pressed his lips against mine. And even though I knew that it was coming, I still widened my eyes in shock and stiffened up entirely. Yet I didn't turn away or refused the kiss. It was nothing too passionate, just lips against lips with a piece of metal caught between them, no licks and bites, simply one of those first kisses that you always see in teen-movies. One of which I never shared one before. And there it was again, this painfully quick heart rate pounding in my chest, making me worry it's going to break out of my ribcage.

„Sorry…" Eren whispered once he pulled away, but our lips stayed only a few inches apart. He avoided to look at me by staring down at my chest. „I shouldn't have done that without asking you."

„It's fine." I breathed out.

„You know… when I saw you on the plane… my first thought about you was ‚Holy shit that guy is hot'…" He mumbled so quietly I had troubles understanding what he was saying. „But then you turned out to be a huge asshole. So my second thought about you was ‚Why are all the hot guys always assholes, taken or straight. Or taken straight assholes.' - which I thought you were."

„Why on earth would you think I am straight?" I interrupted him and threw him a confused look.

„I don't know why, probably because you look so… manly. Like a womanizer who has the girls running after him wherever he goes. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to discuss." He sat up straight, leaning away from me with his face once again slowly turning a deep shade of red.

„Then what-" I started but he placed his finger on my lips. I furrowed my brows and looked angrily down at his hand and then back up to his face. How dare he to shush me?

„Shht! I'm talking now! And don't give me that deadly glare, you wouldn't have stopped talking otherwise. You're really turning into a chatterbox by all the time we spend together. Do you talk that much as well when your friends are around?"

„Get to the fucking point already, brat! Who's the bigger chatterbox out of the two of us right now? Not me!" I smacked his hand away that was still placed on my lips and hissed my breath out through my clenched teeth. Why is he beating around the bush that much? I guess I already knew what he wanted to say so why is he not getting to the fucking point? How hard can it be?

„I… I like you, Levi!" Eren blurted out, focussing his eyes on his lap where he was resting his clenched fists. „I like you. Which I never thought would be possible. But here I am, my heart all the way up in my mouth and my mind spinning because all I can think about is you! And I really hope that you also like me at least a little bit and that you would give us a chance to make our feelings turn into something bigger, greater."

„You mean love?" I asked carefully, the word ‚love' leaving a weird taste on my tongue after it left my lips. Like a tasty treat. A tasty treat that I knew for sure was poisoned. And still I wanted to eat it, taste it and swallow it whole.

„Yes…" He whispered.

„I can't." Something in my guts twisted into a tight knot.

„What can you not?" Eren finally decided to face me. His expression was filled with worry and it almost pained me as much as him. Stupid feelings, go back to where you came from.

„I can't love you." I got another taste of the poisonous treat. I could almost feel it fill my stomach already. But I refused to swallow. I couldn't let it poison and kill me. Because I was sure that's what would happen if it took a hold of me.

„Why?" His face turned from worry to seriousness. Like he was determined to try, whatever my arguments would be.

„I can't love anyone. I just can't. Believe me, I've tried. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't develop feelings. For anyone. Not love at least. I gave up. I am unable to feel it, nor do I believe in it. Tch, love is just lust, with a thick layer of sugarcoat on top. You can't trust it and it's nothing more than a false reality, created by a chemical reaction in your brain. Someday this reaction will wear off; and you'll be left with the ruins of what was once a loving relationship. I refuse to let that happen. To let my life get ruined once more. And drag someone else along with me again."

Eren just stared at me, his eyes wide open and his lips slightly parted like he wanted to say something, and I could almost see him thinking back and forth, whether he should be hurt or worried.

„Sure, we can go on dates, fuck like we're animals, chill on my couch or sing horrible songs. You are free to fall in love with me but don't expect me to do the same. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't."

„Okay." A soft smile spread across his face but it didn't reach his eyes. „Let's make the best out of it then."

Neither of us seemed to be eager to deepen the topic of love and relationships any further. So we dropped it and pretended that we never even talked about it in the first place. Our conversation went on casually, nothing interesting to be said but we kept talking until the sun had almost disappeared completely behind the horizon.

„Tell me more about you."

„About me? Why?"

„Isn't that what you do on dates? Getting to know each other? So tell me, who is Levi Ackerman?" He demanded rather harshly like he had asked that so many times already and I kept refusing him an answer.

„You're not ready to know about me yet. You'd ditch me in an instant, believe me." I hopped down the wall we had been sitting on the entire time, taking my bag with me.

„Where are you going?" He turned his head to watch me walk back to the door through which we had entered the roof garden.

„Tch, you can spend the night up here if you want to. But I'll be going." I pushed the door open and stood in the doorframe, one foot outside and one inside.

„You coming?"

„Yes yes." I could hear him jump down the wall, dirt and pebbles crunching under his converse when he walked over to me.

I stepped aside to let him walk through the door first, like the gentleman I actually ain't. We walked through the dark corridor, side by side, neither of us speaking a word, our steps being the only sound that echoed from the walls. I was about to walk down the stairs, when Eren called out from a few steps behind me.

„Wait for me."  
I froze mid-action and waited for him to catch up.

„Thanks", he sighed when he was next to me again.

I nodded shortly and wanted to head downstairs when suddenly I felt his warm fingers sneak around my right wrist and slide down to my hand, entangling his fingers with mine. Once again, my whole body tensed up and I probably squeezed his hand in my tight grip, but when I turned to look at him, disbelief written all over my face, he was simply grinning and cheekily stuck his tongue out at me.

„Are you alright?" He smirked and softly rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

„Yes…" I pressed out through clenched teeth and faced the stairs again which seemed to end in a pit of darkness. My heart was pounding so hard that it almost hurt and in my mind I repeated the words over and over; _‚This treat is poisoned, poisoned, poisoned.'  
_

„What are you waiting for?" Eren asked cheerfully and walked down the steps, dragging me along with him. I stumbled after him, still trying to forget that this brat was holding my hand, making me all dizzy and unable to focus.

He finally let go of my hand when we had reached the store that we had entered through. The gate was still halfway up and both of us switched on our flashlights again before we snuck into the shop, closing the gate behind us and hurrying through the disgustingly dusty aisles into the storage room.

„Yo, what about-" Eren started but I pulled him away from the crate immediately.

„No, not the condoms, Eren." I growled, kicked open the iron door that lead back to fresh air and dragged him outside with me by his wrist. He looked at me with a reproachful pout but I simply ignored it.

„I got one last thing for us to do." I slid my backpack off my back and placed it on the floor, kneeling down to search it for what I was looking for.

„And that is?" Eren wanted to know, unable to hide his excitement.

„Favorite color?" I asked and took out a spray can with a black cap.

„Green."

I handed him another spray can, this one having a green cap. „Let's perpetuate this weird date on this wall."

There was a small spot on the wall that wasn't covered in graffiti yet. I had spotted it on my way around the outside of the mall, trying to find a door to open and had already decided we would use that spot for it.

„What am I supposed to spray? I never did that before." He was turning the can around in his hands and shaking it, looking rather helpless.

„I'll help you", I sighed and got back up, standing behind him to guide his arms. „You only need to decide on a symbol."

„How about the key from the necklace?" He suggested and I shrugged even though he couldn't see it since I was behind him.

„Your decision. The key it shall be…" I mumbled. „Pull the cap off and place your finger on the spray nozzle."

I watched him over his shoulder as he uncapped the can and pressed his index finger down on the nozzle, a green cloud of paint coming out of it right away and raining down in front of him.

„Don't spray yet, you idiot." I muttered and pushed him closer to the wall. „Now you can go ahead."

„Hahaha can… Get it? Because this is a can… and now I _can_ …?" Eren giggled, earning a soft smack against the back of his head.

„Your puns are horrible. Now stop joking and put your damn key on the wall already."

Without noticing, I had been resting my head against his shoulder while I guided his right arm into the right distance and angle to mimic the shape of the key charm on his necklace. He was giggling softly from time to time, making it hard for me to keep his arm still so that he doesn't mess up the painting.

„Done!" Eren cheered after a while and put the cap back on the can. On the wall was now the bright green image of a key, still shimmering in the remaining light with a few drips running down the concrete.

„Okay, my turn." I mumbled and shook and uncapped the black can that I had brought. „Step back or you'll get pain all over you."

„You're left handed?" Eren asked when I started spraying a few black lines to the right and left of his key.

I looked at my left hand that was holding the can in a firm grip. „I'm ambidextrous. But I prefer my left hand. I can land better punches with it."

„Ambi-what?"

„Ambidextrous." I sighed and kept spraying. „That's when you're neither left nor right handed but can use both hands equally well."  
I felt his eyes on me while I finished our painting. Once I was finally done, I took a step back to look at our oeuvre. To the left and right of the diamond shaped top of the key I had added two wings, one on each side, looking kind of like the wings on the patch that Eren had given me.

„No one shall ever forget our tiny adventure." I said, satisfied with what we had achieved.

„Never ever." Eren added and stood next to me, his hand once again sneaking down to find mine. I didn't even bother anymore. He shall hold my hand as much as he wanted to, I didn't care. If it makes him happy, let him do it.

In unison, we both looked away from the painting and at each other. Eren smiling down at me while I was giving him my usual grumpy look. He slowly leaned in but this time I reacted quickly enough, diving away before he could kiss me and pushing him against the wall, right next to our graffiti. Our fingers were still intertwined when I pressed his hand against the concrete next to his head. Eren looked at me, taken by surprise yet a challenging smirk playing around his lips.

„Don't kiss me without my permission, brat." I whispered angrily and crashed my lips against his. No teen-movie first kisses anymore. This kiss was wild, desperate and passionate. Our lips moved against each other like we never did anything else, his free hand resting on my shoulder and our bodies so close like they were connected by an invisible thread.

„How about", he panted when we parted for a second to catch our breaths, „we stop by at your place before you bring me back home?"

„With absolute pleasure", I mumbled and took his bottom lip between my teeth. „I just hope you didn't take any of those flavored condoms with you, I won't fuck you with those."

„Who said you'd have to fuck me? Why not the other way around this time?"


	23. Chapter 23

_(A/N)  
Yay for Wednesday!  
Just to warn you, this chapter is 4500 words of smut, from start to finish. I got a review like ages ago saying that Eren should be top so if that person who wrote it is still reading: here you go.  
So without further ado, enjoy this weeks chapter and tell me what you think of it (just saying, I know that I suck at writing smut, I'm out of practice).  
Until next Wednesday  
CheeZy - out_

 **Eren's POV**

„There we a-" I didn't even let him finish his sentence once he swung open the door to his apartment. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him passionately while gently pushing him backwards, inside his living room. The both of us kicked off our shoes along the way and it didn't take long until we stumbled over each other's feet, causing us to tumble and fall over but we didn't break our wild kiss for one second.

„Wow, you were actually serious about the other way around thing", Levi panted when I pulled away, shifting my weight so that I didn't crush him underneath me. I straddled him, intentionally pressing my ass down on his crotch and I could already feel him getting hard.

„You thought I was joking?" I murmured and dipped down to kiss along his jaw. He turned his head to the side, allowing me better access, and our eyes remained locked the whole time.

„Not exactly joking but I didn't think you had the balls to actually try it." His tongue sneaked between his lips and licked over the safety pin.

„Try it? I will _do_ it", I whispered against the shell of his ear, hoping that I sounded at least a tiny bit seductive and not like a total creep. The anticipation for what might come and at the same time the fear of screwing up were forming into a tingling sensation in my guts which I wouldn't define as comfortable.

„We'll see about that." He growled but the growling wasn't as emotionless as usual, it rather succeeded at what my voice had most likely failed. It was seductive. And oh how I was becoming wax in his hands once again, like all those times before. I was neither tough nor experienced enough to dominate him and he knew that all too well. Yet I wouldn't give up that easily.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position, deliberately pushing my entire weight on the tent that was forming in his black jeans which earned me a hiss coming from him and an angrily impatient look. Levi's head was resting on his right hand while his left one was placed on my upper thigh, slowly sliding up towards my crotch area.

With shaky hands I started to unbutton his white shirt from the bottom, slowly making my way up to the top and constantly being observed by his cold eyes. Gladly, he had already taken off his jeans vest in advance so I didn't make an entire fool out of myself by having to take that one off as well.

„You're so cute when you're nervous, I'd almost feel bad if I took the lead now," Levi muttered and pulled his legs up, pushing his thighs against my back which made me lose my balance and fall forward. I quickly slammed my hands down on the floor on each side of his head to catch my fall before I could collapse on top of him.

„I wouldn't let you take the lead." I hissed, trying to hide the nervous shaking in my voice. Our faces were only a few inches apart and we simply looked into each others eyes, having an intense stare-off. A silent battle about who will literally come out on top, which we fought by giving each other grim looks. A battle that I feared I was going to lose.

„Tch. Go ahead then. I bet my boner that you won't last two minutes once you put your dick inside my ass."

All of the blood that had been rushing to my southern regions immediately shot into my head instead.

„Wait and see." It took me a herculean effort not to stutter and I took a deep breath, holding onto the courage that was about to leave me.

„Then show me already! I didn't sign up for you grinding your ass down on my crotch for the rest of the fucking night."

„R-right." Damnit. How am I supposed to come off as tough and dominant while I'm stuttering?!  
I sat back up again, his legs pressing against my back once more but he didn't push me down again. Grabbing his collar, I pulled him up into a sitting position and crashed our lips together before he could say anything else that could make me lose my courage. Our lips moved together like they were meant to be, our tongues colliding and our teeth clicking together in the heat of the moment.

I let the collar slip out of my hands which caused the shirt to slide off his shoulders and down his arms. He quickly shook it off before he grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt and I raised my arms as he hastily pulled it up and our lips separated for a split second so that he could pull it over my head, along with the black leather necklace, and toss it away. I immediately lowered my arms again and started to fumble with his belt, forcefully tugging on the leather until it came undone while Levi ran his hands through my hair and down my neck before cupping my cheeks and pulling away from me.

„Don't you think she's a bit too young to watch us fuck on the kitchen floor?" He whispered, his hot breath blowing against my lips.

„She?" I asked and wanted to throw a look at the kitchen window, fearing that there was some kid from the house next door staring at us but he turned my head into the other direction. My eyes wandered around the living room for a second but I quickly saw what he was talking about. The aviary we had built up yesterday was standing a few feet away from us and a white bird with one blue wing was watching us with its black eyes, its head cocked to the side like it was wondering what the heck we were doing there.

„Oh, the bird!" I exclaimed and wanted to get up to get a better look at it, completely forgetting what I had been up to only a few seconds ago. But his hands dropped down to my shoulders and forcefully kept me where I was.

„Once we're done you can go and gawk at her all you like." He murmured, leaned closer and flicked his tongue across my lips. „You have better things to do for now."

„Like you, for example." I just had to smirk at my cheeky comment.

Levi rolled his eyes in response. „Not for much longer if you keep this up."

His hips bucked upwards and he nodded his head into the direction of his bedroom. I nodded quickly and got up from his actually quite comfortable lap (if you ignore the rock hard boner that was poking into my own crotch area) and held out my hand to help him up, which he ignored though and stood up without my help. How rude. As he wanted to walk off on his own, without thinking I grabbed him by his shoulder with one hand and used the other to literally sweep him off his feet. Even though he wasn't the tallest, he was still heavier than I had expected.

„What the fuck, Eren?!" He snapped at me and kicked his legs uselessly into the air as I carried him bridal style down the hallway. His hands were pushing against my chest but I simply giggled softly and gave him an apologetic grin.

„I'll wipe that smug grin right off your fucking face if you don't let me down this instant!" He was struggling, fighting like a cub rather than a lion. I knew that he could have knocked me down with only one punch of his free arm but he was holding back which left me thinking that he wasn't completely opposed to being carried around like this.

„You want me to let you down?" I asked when I kicked open the door to the bedroom which was ajar and approached the bed which was still tidy for now, the white sheets without one crease, and I couldn't wait to mess it up.

„Yes! Let. Me. Down!"

„Okay." I shrugged and let him drop like I didn't even care. I made sure he fell onto the bed, the soft mattress catching his fall without hurting him.

„You fucking-" He started but I placed my finger on his lips which, to my surprise, made him fall silent.

I didn't know where that sudden boost of courage and self-esteem came from but I was glad that it was there. Otherwise this whole thing would never work out and I would be the bottom bitch again.

I crawled on top of him, his intensely angry glare focussed on me as I let my fingers brush along his tattoo and dipped down to scrape my teeth over the sensitive skin around his right nipple, earning a sharp hiss coming from him. When I looked up, I saw that he had closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, completely giving in to whatever I was about to do to his body.

A pleased smirk spread across my face as I continued my way downwards, my lips wandering down his torso along with my hands, my eyes never leaving his face, taking in every tiny reaction that he showed. I felt him shudder under my touch and saw him suck his bottom lip into his mouth, making a faint clanking sound when his teeth collided with his piercing, probably to bite back any moan that he might let out. I had already noticed that he never let out any sound apart from his heavy breathing and my goal for tonight was to finally hear him. I wanted to make him feel so good he can't hold it in anymore. I guess it's quite a pretentious thing to say for someone who's only had sex twice so far but I was determined to pleasure him as much as I could so that he would let me hear him at least once.

Levi let out a surprised gasp when I licked down his v-lines that disappeared underneath the rim of his trousers which I grabbed with both my hands, struggling to pull them down.  
A silent „Tch" came from him when he lifted his hips into the air so I could get rid of the last two pieces that covered his body in one go. With a pleased sigh he let his hips drop back down on the mattress and I felt my face heat up when I caught myself staring at his rather big erection that was resting against his abs. Yet I couldn't look away. The thought of having him inside of me creeped into my mind and only now did I notice the aching bulge that was pressing against the tightness of my pants. I almost discarded my plans just so I could feel him fill me up again.

„Didn't anyone ever tell you that staring is fucking rude?" He muttered and I right away snapped out of my daze. His eyes were resting on my face and an amused expression crossed his features.

„Sorry." I turned my head to the side to hide my deep red face.

I heard him shuffle and when I looked back at him again, he had crawled up to the head of the bed and was searching for something inside the drawer of his nightstand. „Here."

He tossed me a small blue bottle and a black piece of plastic wrap before he positioned himself with his head against the headboard, his legs apart and bent at the knees. My eyes widened at the sight and a I could feel my cock twitch with arousal against the tight fabric of my jeans.

„Wait." He interfered when I uncapped the blue bottle. I gave him a confused look, right away thinking about what I possibly could have done wrong. Instead of telling me what I should wait for, he leaned forward, reached his hand out and hooked two fingers into the front of my jeans, tugging on it until the button popped open on its own. I didn't even know how, but within seconds the zipper was undone and my jeans slowly slid down my hips. I let the bottle of lube drop down on the bed and stripped out of my tight pair of trousers.

„Good boy." Levi purred and slid his hand inside my underwear, stroking his icy fingers along my length. A cold shiver ran down my spine and I let out a quiet moan. „Now get rid of those annoying boxer shorts and treat me like the fucking gentleman you are."

He drew his hand out of my underwear and let himself fall back again, watching me with a soft smirk playing around his lips and both his eyebrows raised like he was challenging me. I hastily did what he had told me, wiggling out of my underwear and kicking it off the bed before I crawled up to him on all fours like an animal approaching its prey. I hovered above him, my hands up against the headboard and my knees between his legs, staring down at him as lust lit up inside me and spread through my veins like wild fire. His icy fingertips ghosted along my right arm, causing me to shiver, until they reached my wrist and took it into a tight grip, forcing it away from the wall and down to his face. I shifted my weight around so that I didn't fall due to the lack of support now that my right hand couldn't hold me up any longer.

My hand moved on its own, guided by him, across his cheek and against his lips. Not for one second did either of us look away from the other; our eyes remained locked, filled with lust and desire. His lips parted slightly and his wet tongue licked over my index- and middle finger, covering them in his saliva. My eyes widened as soon as his tongue made contact with my skin and my breathing picked up speed. I didn't know if it was just a twitching in his eye but I could swear that I saw him wink at me. I decided that I was simply imagining things, he wouldn't wink at anyone… would he?

The way Levi twirled his tongue around my fingers left close to no imagination on how it would be if I ever received a blowjob from him. Thinking about that made me only harder than I already was and I almost let out another moan even though he was only sucking on my fingers and not my dick.

By now my fingers were literally dripping with his saliva and without a word, he pulled my hand away from his lips and guided it between our bodies and down between his legs. I was secretly glad that he was helping me, showing me what to do without saying a word because he knew I needed some guidance and if he had said anything, his snarky comments would have had my courage crumbling into pieces and then it would be bye bye opportunity of being on top for at least once.

We kept staring into each others eyes, I was sure I knew each black, grey and light blue spark in them by heart by now, as he let my dripping wet fingers brush down his member, across his balls and further down between his cheeks. He was using his other hand to spread them apart, allowing me better access.

„I think you can do the rest without my help now", he breathed out and I nodded slowly as I pressed my index finger against his tight entrance.  
It slid inside easily and Levi bucked his hips up when I copied what he used to do to prepare me. I added the second finger shortly after the first one, observing his reaction. His brows were furrowed, lips parted and the tip of his tongue resting on his bottom lip. His expression almost looked like he was begging me for more as his breathing sped up and turned into panting when I spread my fingers apart, scissoring him open as much as I dared to without hurting him.

„Fuck", Levi hissed and grabbed my wrist again which made me still my fingers and pull them out while I gave him a questioning look, „Just put your fucking dick inside my ass already!"

„As you wish", I whispered huskily and finally broke the eye contact to look behind me to get the condom that he had tossed me. The begging tone in his voice had something sexy to it. It was unlike him, that's for sure but that only made it sexier. To think that he took a step across his massive ego to beg me to fuck him turned me on too much to put into words.

The bottle of lube was uselessly lying next to the black package, which I took and tore open. The one thing that wouldn't make me look like a total fool tonight; I sent a silent thanks to my Sex-Education teacher who showed us how to use a condom in year 8. Without any problem I rolled the slick condom down my throbbing erection and looked back at Levi's face, seeking any last confirmation.

„Do it already!" His hands found their way up the headboard, his fingers hooking behind it at the top and his legs wrapped themselves around my waist. „Show me that you're worth it."

My left hand left the headboard above him and took ahold of his thigh while my right hand was guiding my dick towards his entrance. As soon as the head pressed against the tight muscle a wave of pleasure shot through me and the further I pushed inside, the more unbearable the pleasure became.  
A loud moan fell from my lips and I threw my head back in ecstasy, not knowing how I could ever cope with this euphoria. I was losing sense of up and down and left and right, all I could think about was the tightness of his ass around my cock and I don't think there are any words in this world to describe what I was feeling in that moment. I moved my hips in a painfully slow back and forth motion, too scared that if I moved any deeper or faster I might come by accident.

„Listen, brat!" Levi growled at me, „I'm not bottoming for a round of vanilla sex. So for crying out loud, fuck me like you mean it!"

That made my hips thrust forward with so much force, a loud cry of surprise echoed through the room. Was that me? Or him? I didn't know. I was way too busy holding back that feeling of my approaching orgasm; I would never forgive myself if I came too early.

„Fuck", I groaned as I picked up speed and eventually set a rhythm. My legs were going numb from sitting on them for too long and I could soon feel the fatigue in my muscles, crying for a break but I refused to give in.

Levi's face was distorted with pleasure with his mouth hanging open as desperate pants from him and pleasured moans from me filled the air. Our gazes met and locked again and even if I tried, I couldn't look away. That look on his face was enough to send me over the edge.

„I… Fuck, I can't…" I whined when I felt my climax coming like a giant wave and I was only waiting for it to crash above me.

„No", he breathed out and his hands fell down from the headboard to slide down my back and dig their nails into my skin. „No, no. Don't. Not yet. Please!"

„I…" I wanted to say more but the words got caught in my throat when the world seemed to stop spinning for a second and the wave finally crashed.  
I let out a loud groan when the pleasure shot through my entire body like a lightning bolt, making me lose my rhythm on the way and simply thrust relentlessly into him, riding out my orgasm to get as much pleasure out of it as I could.

„Oh my- fuck!" Levi cursed as he arched his back and pressed his head against the wood of the headboard, bucking his hips up to meet each of my thrusts. As soon as I could feel his muscles tighten around me, I was done for.

I buried myself inside him as deeply as I could with another moan, squeezed my eyes shut tightly and stilled my hips. Everything fell silent around us, all I could hear was Levi's shaky breath coming from beneath me and my heavy pants.

„Crap." He muttered and slammed both his hands flat down on the mattress. I knew right away what was going on and guilt started to spread in my guts.

I came before he had the chance to.  
Indeed, crap.

Without any second thought, I pulled out and leaned down, taking his twitching cock into my hand and then into my mouth. No way I was letting him go without coming tonight.

„Oi, brat. What do you think you're do- ohhhh." That sentence ended in a deep and raspy moan coming out of his throat.  
I bobbed my head up and down, hollowing my cheeks and pressing my tongue against the shaft while I rubbed two fingers along his perineum and used the other hand in sync with the movement of my head.

„Holy… ooh fuck." Levi buried his hands in my hair, brushing it out of my face so I could look up at him. Yet he didn't look at me for long but threw his head back in ecstasy, moaning incoherent words and his grip in my hair tightened shortly before something warm and sticky filled my mouth.  
I had to suppress a surprised gag and immediately pulled away to sit up, a small string of saliva connecting the head of his cock to my swollen lips.

„Fuck, Eren." My name sounded rather like a moan than a word.

„Uh…" was all I managed to get out.

„Tch, I was already wondering if you were a spit or swallow kind of guy." Levi pushed himself up on his elbows and into a sitting position, his breath was still going quick and heavily and his cheeks were a very faint shade of pink. „But I guess you're the oh-my-god-he-came-into-my-mouth-what-am-I-going-to-do kind of guy."

I sat on my knees, completely irritated, my mouth hanging open while a drop of a saliva and cum mixture slowly ran out of the corner of my mouth and down to my chin. I actually had expected him to warn me so that I could pull away in time and maybe only receive a facial cumshot but instead I was now sitting here with a mouth full of his cum, unsure of what to do next. The thought of swallowing didn't seem too pleasant to me yet I knew that if I spit it out, he'd most likely be offended. I'd be as well if I was in his position.

„Here." Levi sighed as he leaned over to grab the tissue box on his nightstand and held it out towards me. „The longer you keep it in your mouth, the more disgusting it will get. Just spit it out."

I looked at the tissue box for a few seconds but instead of thankfully accepting it, I closed my mouth, squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed. My face scrunched up right away, against my will I might add, when I got a proper taste of the salty and warm fluid. The taste wasn't necessarily icky but the warmth and creaminess definitely made it worse. It just didn't go well with the weird taste.

I heard that Levi let out an impressed „Huh" before he put the tissue box back on the nightstand.

„It tastes weird." I admitted and slowly opened my eyes again, only to see his face right in front of mine.

„You'll get used to it", He mumbled and placed his hand under my chin. „By the way, you missed a drip."  
He leaned closer and licked up that one drop that had run out of my mouth. His tongue flicked along the trail that it had left and then brushed along my bottom lip. I parted my lips only a tiny bit and he right away took his chance to kiss me, our tongues battling a lazy war since both of us were actually quite exhausted. The bitter taste left my mouth and got replaced by the sweet taste of his tongue which I preferred a million times over the other one.

„Sorry that I… came so early", I mumbled once he pulled away and I felt my face heat up.

„You lasted longer than I expected. After all, this kind of was your first time so you didn't do too badly." Levi let something out that almost sounded like a giggle and ruffled my hair. „Will your sister kill me if I didn't bring you home tonight? Because honestly, I'm way too fucking exhausted to leave this bed right now. Not to mention that my ass hurts like shit."

„Sorry", I giggled awkwardly and scratched the back of my head. „I can still take the bus home though."

„Do whatever you feel like, I won't force you to stay here." He stretched his arms into the air and I could hear a few joints creaking in his back.

„Do you want me to stay?"

He simply shrugged and let himself drop down onto the bed, „I don't know."

„You should rest for now…" I suggested and watched him roll on his side and rest his head on his arm.

„What do you think I'm trying to do here, brat?" He muttered, running his hand through his black hair and brushing a few strands out of his eyes.

I just left it at that, shuffled out of the bed and threw a look at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit, my face was flustered and I had a fresh hickey on my neck which I don't even remember getting. I was too fatigued myself to walk to the bus stop now and go back home so I only pulled off the condom that was dangling loosely around my limp dick, chucked it into the bin and lay down next to Levi, my chest against his back and I watched him as he slowly fell asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

_(A/N)  
Yay, Wednesday!  
I totally didn't get any trouble with the timing for this one... no not at all... totally not because I rather spent my time finishing my cosplay than writing... Nope.  
Hope you like the chapter, we're getting close to the end! A few more chapters to go.  
Write a review to tell me what you think :)  
Until next Wednesday  
CheeZy - out_

 **Levi's POV**

I awoke to the sound of soft humming right next to my ear. A sleepy groan forced its way out of my throat and I wanted to hide under the covers that were draped over my waist, hoping to fall asleep again. I didn't even dare to check the clock, I already knew I only slept for about two hours; well, at least I felt like I did.

I stirred around but I couldn't really move too much due to an arm that was wrapped around my waist, holding me securely in a tight embrace against a warm body behind me.

„What the…" I grumbled and the humming stopped.

„Good morning to you, too." Eren's giggling voice came from behind me, „Did I wake you up?"

„Yes you did. Why do you have to start humming at such an ungodly time?", I muttered, my voice coming out all raspy and croaky, and I refused to open my eyes, still wishing I'd fall asleep again. This insomnia will someday be the death of me. „What time is it?"

„Nine o'clock, quite exactly." The arm around my waist loosened and pulled away along with the body that had been pressing against my back and I found myself wanting it back, the embrace I usually detested had something comfortable to it. At least if I ignore my painfully quick beating heart.

„I only slept for one hour? And there I was hoping it had been two." I hid my face in my pillow.

„It's nine in the morning, Levi. You slept for 13 hours straight. There were moments I feared you might have died or something. You're like a corpse when you sleep, you know? You don't move, you don't make a sound and you're just as cold as a dead man."

„Tch, I don't sleep for 13 hours straight, don't be ridiculous. I can call myself lucky when I sleep for a total of 13 hours a week." The pillow muffled my voice and made it hard for me to breathe properly.

„Look for yourself, I don't think it's usual for it to be bright as day outside at nine pm." I could almost hear him roll his eyes sarcastically.

Reluctantly, I turned my head to the side and opened one eye, only to close it again immediately. The light of the day was painfully bright and even though I had my eyes closed, all I could see was red due to the sudden change of light that had hit my eye unexpectedly.  
„You were actually serious", I mumbled and rubbed my eyes. „By the way, did you cuddle me all night long as if I was a fucking teddy bear?"

„Not _all_ night long…"

I turned my whole body around on the other side to look at him. He had a shy expression on his face and was blushing all the way up to his ears. „Why?"

„Why what?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

„Why did you think cuddling me was a good idea?!" I growled, sounding harsher than I intended to.

I really wanted to be angry with him, how dare he start to cuddle me like I was his stuffed animal without which he can't fall asleep. Yet for some reason I had the feeling that him sleeping next to me was what made me sleep like a baby for the entire night. I haven't had such a relaxing and long sleep in years. Now that the sleepiness from earlier was gone, I actually noticed how refreshed and lively I was feeling and I was almost ready to jump out of bed and go for a run. If it wasn't for…

„ _Poutain_ , Liberté!" I exclaimed, cutting Eren off who was just about to answer my question, and jumped out of the bed, my bare legs tangling up in the thin bedsheets that were serving as my blanket and making me stumble out of the bedroom. I hastily pulled the sheets up and wrapped them around my shoulders, having them fly behind me like a white oversized superman cape.

„Did you just call me a whore?" I heard Eren shout after me but I didn't care to answer.

Liberté welcomed me with an impatient tweet before pecking her beak against the bars of her cage.

„ _Bonne matin à toi aussi_ ",I growled at her as I knelt down behind the kitchen counter and pulled out the bag with bird food which I stored in one of the cupboards while she kept encouraging me to hurry up with loud tweets. _„Arrête! Je sais que j'ai t'oublié_!"

It's not that I had intended to talk to her in French. Simply the fact that I had cursed out and called her name in my mother tongue made me slip into it without even noticing.

„Ach, unterhalten wir uns jetzt nur noch auf Französisch? Sorry, aber da muss ich passen", Eren, who had followed me and was leaning against the doorframe in only his underwear, yawned and tore his mouth wide open, he could have fit his entire fist inside if he tried.

„What?" I breathed out and hurried back to the cage, kneeling down in front of it and opening the bottom door.

„Why did you say stuff in French?!"

„I did? Well, not on purpose. I've been thinking a lot in French lately so that can happen from time to time okay!" I snapped at him and pulled the sheet around me to cover my still naked body. I had been thinking about my few memories from France a lot recently, I even started to dream about it which made the short times I slept even worse than they already were.

„Sorry", he giggled and joined me, curiously eyeing the white bird in the cage. „Did you come up with a name by now?"

„I call her Liberté", I mumbled as I dug a spoon into the bag and balanced it towards the small food bowl.

„And that's French for what?"

„You understood _poutain_ but not _Liberté_?" I asked and gave him the ‚are-you-kidding-me' look.

„Well, I know how to swear and insult people in French. _Bonjour baguette portemonnaie merci beaucoup_ is as far as my French knowledge goes if you ignore swearwords." He shrugged and wanted to reach his hand into the cage to touch her but I slapped his hand away before he could.

„Be careful with her! After all, she still has a broken wing!" I watched Liberté pick up some of the seeds I just put into her food bowl. „Could you go and make yourself useful for once by bringing me a pair of trousers? Second drawer on the left. And don't go rummaging through my stuff unless you want to go home with a boot shoved up your ass, you hear me?"

„Sure." Eren rose and left to get what I told him to.

I slowly reached my hand inside the cage and held it out towards Liberté. She right away hopped onto my finger and let me take her outside the cage. I let out a groan when I got up, my back hurt and my ass wasn't exactly feeling like it was in good shape either.  
That brat fucked me good last night, gotta give him that.

„Let's go check out that wing of yours", I mumbled and sat the bird down on the kitchen counter behind me.

„Are those okay?" Eren asked when he came up behind me and handed me a pair of long, black snuggly trousers.

„Thanks. Who's a good boy?" I took the piece of clothing from his hands and pet him on the head.

„Stop that." Eren whined and dove away from my hand, his face turning a deep shade of red again. „Stop what? Treating you like the puppy you are?" I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the bird on my kitchen counter. With a swift motion I shook off the sheet that was still draped around my shoulders and slipped my legs into the pants that Eren had brought me.

„What kind of bird species is she?" Eren asked and eyed Liberté curiously from top to bottom.

„No one knows. Everything points towards dove but the blue wing simply doesn't make sense. It seems to be the actual color of her feathers, no paint or something." I shrugged and carefully wrapped one hand around her torso so that she doesn't run off when I try to inspect the splint that was attached to the white wing and held it securely against her body with white bandages.

„Why did you decide to name her after all?" The boy hopped on one of the stools and lay his head down on the cold counter.

„If I hadn't named her, you'd be annoying me about naming her right now, wouldn't you?"

„Probably." He grinned cheekily and stuck his tongue out at me.

„See? That's why I came up with a name for her." I gently readjusted the splint which earned me several harsh pecks on the back of my hand and a few angry tweets.  
When I finally let her go, the feathers on the top of her head shot up like a white crown. The vet had told me that birds do that whenever they're happy and seeing that small crown made me let out a received sigh, knowing that she seemed to be glad that she's here with me.

„Do you have to go to work today?" I asked and let Liberté jump on my hand again to carry her over to the couch and let her walk and jump around for a bit.

„Yes, but not until noon." Eren nodded as he sat up but didn't follow me. He simply wavered from left to right on the spinning top of the stool.

„Did you let your sister know that you're alright?"

„Yes, I did and-"

„Are you hungry? You haven't eaten since yesterday."

„What? Uhh… now that you mention it…"

„I'll make you something." I sat Liberté down on the couch and made my way back to the kitchen.  
I opened the fridge and stared at the empty shelves that presented themselves to me. I right away closed it again, turned around and leaned my back against it as if to hide the embarrassing emptiness.

„You sound like my dad", Eren whined and slid his hands across the marble of the kitchen counter, making a squeaking sound that hurt my ears.

„Hmm, let me think… Did I ever bang a lady when I was in my twenties? If so, I could _be_ you dad." I shrugged casually and bit back a grin.

„Wait, what?! You're OVER FORTY YEARS OLD?!" Eren gasped in surprise and if the stool he was sitting on hadn't been attached to the floor, he would have tumbled over.

„Maybe. I like to keep my age a secret, so shhh." I whispered and raised my finger to my lips, leaned forward and placed my hands right in front of him on the counter and giving him a mysterious glare. It was fun to toy with him like that, that kid was just so naïve, he'd probably even believe me if I told him that his sister and me were best buddies.

„B-but Erwin said that you-"

„Erwin? What did Erwin say about me? When did you even talk to him?" I cut him short before he could continue. My somewhat good mood disappeared from one second to the next like it had never even existed.

„Nothing, he said nothing…" He put one hand over his mouth to keep himself from talking.

„Cut the crap kid! What did he tell you? Spit it out already!" I could feel anger rising inside me but I pushed it down. This anger wasn't meant for Eren.

Eren let out a long sigh and lowered his head when he started to speak. „He asked me to meet up with him-"

„Why the fuck would he do that?!" I interrupted him once more.

„He wanted to talk to me. He told me stuff about you…" His voice trailed off and he stared at his hands with a guilty look on his face.

„That motherfucker with his stupid eyebrows!" I growled and slammed my hand down on the counter, making Eren jump and lean away from me, probably out of fear I might snap.

„Aren't you overreacting a tiny bit?" He laughed awkwardly and raised his hands in defense.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs to the top with air, and let it rush back out through my clenched teeth. „Don't think I'm getting angry at you, kid. I'm not overreacting, I just think I might already know what he told you and I swear if that's true, Erwin's a dead man!"

„He told me about the day you two met for the first time…" Eren spoke carefully and I pinched the bridge of my nose once he had finished his sentence.

„I fucking knew it", I hissed and it took me a herculean effort to not knock over the next thing I could find and smash it into Erwin's face. I took another deep breath, calming myself and letting Eren continue talking.

„To be honest, I still don't believe what he told me. He didn't make it look like you were the bad guy though. It sounded rather like he cared for you and that he really treasures you as a friend. I listened to what he had to say but I didn't really care. If I wanted to know more stuff about you, I would have asked you and if you didn't want to tell me, then that would have been fine."

„Well aren't you a loyal one…" I huffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest. „He told you about Isabel and Farlan, didn't he?"

„If that were their names then… yes", he nodded and leaned forward again, seeming to notice that I had myself back under control.

„Do you want to know the story about Levi Ackerman?" I asked quietly after a few seconds of silence. „I don't know what and how much Erwin told you but if you want to, I can tell you my version of it."

„If you don't want to tell me, I won't make you. It's your story, not mine." He looked me straight into the eyes and a soft smile played around his lips which still reached all the way up to his eyes. „I still don't know if what Erwin had told me was the truth and I don't think I want to. What I do know is that I like you, whatever your story may be and that I will try my best to do what Erwin asked me to."

„What did he ask of you?"

„You should know him well enough to know that already. And you know yourself. What's that one thing that someone who cares about you would want me to do?" Eren looked at me with an almost pleading look on his face.

„And you really think you can be that person? That person who will finally crack my shell? Sorry to break it to you, kid, but there is no shell around me. This is who I am and you either accept it or you leave me be. But don't try to break something where there's nothing to break. I'm broken enough already. I don't need you running around on the shards, stomping them into even tinier pieces, while searching for my true self. Because those shards you tread on, that is me. You'll never find what you're searching for if you don't look down at the path you're walking."

I could literally watch his eyebrows rise and furrow as I spoke and flourished my hands around angrily. I almost regret what I said, but only almost. I've said it so I've got to live with that now.

„I… I'm sorry…" Eren whispered and lowered his gaze.

„Tch, why are you sorry? Erwin put that idea into your head so there's no one else to blame but him. Just you wait, I'll have a talk with that incarnation of a pair of eyebrows!" I muttered a few additional curse words under my breath as I walked around the counter, not really knowing where I wanted to go.

„Do you want to hear my story?" Eren blurted out and I froze mid-action.

„Your story?" I asked and turned my head to face him.

„You don't want to tell me your story but I'm willing to tell you mine. Well, as long as you want to hear it", he gave me a faint smile and rose from his seat.

I didn't want to sound too eager when I agreed but my „I do." came out a bit more cheerful than I had intended. I've never really thought about him and his story, if there was one to tell in the first place, I was too busy pathetically wallowing in self pity about my own past. But I suddenly remembered that one time when he told me that his sister was the only family he had left, when I basically ignored it and instead told him my own short sob story out of fear I might feel pity for him which would only make my feelings for him grow faster and stronger. Yet I was beyond that point now. By now I knew that I was doomed to get attached to him sooner or later, if I wasn't already, so I might as well start to give a damn about him. Properly.

„You're not the only person who's broken, you know?" Eren started, bent down to pick up the sheet that I had used to cover myself up and handed it to me.

„I'm not that egocentric. I know that I'm not the only person in the universe with a troublesome past." I sighed as I took the sheet from him, untangling it and folding it as neatly as I could right now. „I just don't like to trouble myself with other peoples problems, that's all."

„I know what you mean. I like to push that away from me as well, keep other peoples worries out of my system but I'm not as good at it as you", he mumbled and brushed his hand through a few brown strands that were falling into his eyes. „But anyway. When I was ten years old I-"

„Hold on for a second. I'll first get you something to eat and to drink, then you can start." I interrupted him and opened a small cupboard underneath the tv; my secret candy stock, to keep Hanji or Erwin from raiding it when they empty my kitchen whenever they're here.

„I hope you like Earl-Grey cookies." I pulled out a pack of cookies and tossed it over to him. „Because that's all I can offer for now."  
He caught it and immediately started tearing open the wrapping like he had been starving for the past two weeks.

Several cookies and a cup of tea later, we were sitting in my living room; Eren's whole body spread across the blanket that covered the couch while Liberté curiously hopped around on the backrest above him and me loafing around in my armchair, both of us with a steaming cup of tea in our hands.

„Okay, you may start now. Unless you don't want to anymore." I was rather speaking into my mug instead towards him, my voice echoing back from the porcelain.

„Sure. And by the way, thanks. For taking care of me", he giggled and took a sip from his cup. „I'm literally unable to take care of myself, I'd probably die if no one told me to eat or drink, so thanks."

„I don't plan on letting my date from last night perish in front of my eyes."

A blush crept up to his face and he started to smile. „Honestly, I couldn't have imagined a better date with anyone."

„I hate to admit it but… I think the same." I quickly looked away when I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. My heart rate sped up again but by now I guess I was used to it. Even though I still didn't know why it did that.

„Thank you." Eren laughed, a heartwarming laugh that will probably echo through my head whenever I think of him.


	25. Chapter 25

_(A/N)  
Yay, Wednesday!  
Finally a chapter about Eren and his past, yay!  
Hope you like it, I'd be happy if you left me a review saying what you think about it.  
Until next Wednesday  
CheeZy - out_

 **Eren's POV** _(Trigger warning. If you have troubles with PTSD and traumatic experiences, skip the part between the two *)_

9 years ago; Germany

 _„There you are, Eren! Everyone's looking for you." Mikasa had spotted me in the dark and slowly approached me before she sat down to my right on the cold bench.  
_

 _„Let them look for me. I don't care. Everyone should just leave me alone." I kept staring down at my lap, watching my hands as I entangled and untangled my fingers. They were still wrapped in bandages, covering up the burns on my palms.  
_

 _„Why did you run away?" My sister leaned herself against my shoulder and let out a long sigh.  
_

 _„Does this even count as running away? I didn't even leave the facility." I mumbled and a cold gust made me shiver. I was sitting in an empty playground, surrounded by nothing but play equipment, darkness and grey walls. It seemed like they build the orphanage all around an abandoned playground as if to trap the children inside it, making it impossible to escape. There were no fences to go underneath or walls to climb over. Only grey buildings in every direction.  
_

 _„Eren, if you wanted to go back home-"  
_

 _„I know that I can't go back home. All I would find there would be a big pile of ashes. Not to mention that I can't even find a way out of this hellhole." I kicked my foot angrily across the ground, a few pebbles skipping over the asphalt and joining the other pebbles in the playground.  
_

 _„Of course you wouldn't find the way, you didn't have me with you." Her words almost had something cheery to them. But I wasn't in the mood to be cheerful and happy. „Why did you go alone? You know I would have come with you without hesitation."  
_

 _„I don't know… I just took my chance when that mister what's-his-face was distracted." I shrugged, distractedly tugging on the bandages.  
_

 _„Stop." Mikasa put her hands over mine. They were soft and warm, not burnt and covered in bandages like mine.  
_

 _„They're annoying", I muttered but stopped digging my fingers underneath them nevertheless.  
_

 _„Your wounds will never heal if you don't stop playing with the bandages." She gently stroked her thumb over a small patch of my skin.  
_

 _„I have wounds worse than those", I whispered, knowing that if I spoke any louder I would burst out crying again. „I miss her."  
_

 _„Me too, Eren. Me too." She gently laid her head down on my shoulder._

 _*  
_ _Today was our first day out of the hospital and at the orphanage. I had to spend two weeks at the clinic because I got a smoke poisoning and several burns all over my body. Mikasa got luckier than me, she only got a mild smoke poisoning, not as severe as me, and that was it.  
_

 _The building, in which I used to live with my parents and my adopted sister Mikasa, had caught fire out of the blue. My sister and me hadn't been inside when it happened. We had been outside, playing in the playground on the other side of the road with our friend Armin, who used to live on the floor beneath us. Suddenly, the whole ground had started shaking when something inside the apartment building exploded, sending shards from the windows flying over our heads as flames shot out of the empty window frames on the third floor.  
_

 _The one right above ours.  
_

 _I remember that Armin had just been standing there in shock, his eyes wide as he stared at the flames. He had turned into a statue, unable to move or say a word. Unlike him, I didn't hesitate for one second and being the daredevil I was, I ran inside. The smoke had made me cough my lungs up and the heat had been unbearable but I had been determined to reach our apartment.  
_

 _I had burnt my hands on the doorhandle, bruised my shoulder when I slammed myself against the door and scraped my knees when I had fallen down on a pile of shards that had been right behind the door when it burst open. I had thought I could actually do something useful in there, like get some of my stuff that had emotional value.  
_

 _People always ask you ‚If your house was on fire and you could only grab one thing, what would it be?'. At that time, I probably would have said I'd get my stuffed animal. Or maybe my favorite shirt. But in that very moment, I didn't give two shits about my stuffed animal or my favorite shirt. All I had been hearing were two people, both screaming my name from two different directions.  
_

 _One being Mikasa, who had followed me all the way up here, trying to convince me to turn around and get back to safety.  
_ _The other one belonged to my mother. Through all of the smoke it has had been hard to see her at first but once I had stepped further inside our apartment, I could spot her lying on the floor, her lower body buried underneath a steel beam that had fallen down after the ceiling had collapsed.  
_

 _I had immediately tried to save her, pulling on her arms and yelling at Mikasa to help me yet my mother had just shaken her head and told me to leave, that I couldn't save her so I should at least save myself. I had been yelling at her, that I would never leave her like this and she had been yelling back at me, that I should just listen to her for once and get the hell out of here.  
_

 _It wasn't until one of the fire fighters had come, grabbed me and carried me out of the building. I had been kicking my legs into the air, screaming at him to let me go but he had ignored my begs and insults and simply kept walking, grabbing my sister on his way out and bringing us all the way across the street.  
_ _From then on, my memories had become a blur and I couldn't think straight until one week later. Mikasa and Armin had spent every second with me at the hospital, making me eat against my will and forcing me to keep living even though I didn't feel like I wanted to do that.  
_

 _And now we were here, at this godforsaken orphanage; A grey building with dirty windows and heavy doors, that made the whole facility seem more like a prison than a place of safety for abandoned children.  
_ _*_

 _„Do you think Dad will be back soon?" I asked and looked at my sister. She had pulled her red scarf all the way up to her nose like she wanted to hide herself in it.  
_

 _„I hope so. I don't like this place either. But we have to stay here until he comes to pick us up." Her scarf muffled her voice. She wasn't a very loud speaker and the scarf over her mouth made her sound even quieter than usual.  
_

 _„Eren! Mikasa!" I looked up to see a dark figure running towards us.  
_

 _„Armin." I sighed and lowered my head again. As much as I loved his company, I really wanted to be alone right now. My sister's presence was enough already but now that Armin had turned up as well, I craved solitude more than anything.  
_

 _„Don't worry, I won't tell on you." He gave me a soft smile, almost invisible in the dim light, and sat down on the other side of me.  
_

 _„It's not going to be long until they find us anyway." I muttered.  
_

 _„What happened back there, in the cafeteria? One second you were right next to me and the other you were gone." Armin placed a hand on my left shoulder while Mikasa was still resting her head on the right one.  
_

 _„Isn't it obvious why I ran away? You seem so relaxed about all of this, how can you stay this calm? We lost our home, parts of our families and now we're stuck in here. How can either of you just go along with it like it's nothing?!" I raised my voice and balled my hands into fists.  
_

 _„I don't focus on who I've lost but who's still with me. And once my grandfather recovers, he will come and pick us up and you two can live with us until your father comes back." Armin shrugged and gently pat my shoulder.  
_

 _„_ If _he ever comes back." I scoffed and another pebble skipped over the ground after I kicked my foot down.  
_

 _„Eren? Mikasa? Armin?" A male voice echoed through the playground, startling the three of us.  
_

 _I immediately jumped up from the bench, not knowing whether I should leave and hide once again or simply give up and face my rightful punishment.  
_

 _„Mr Shadis!" Armin exclaimed and disappeared into the shadows, running towards where the voice had come from. So much for ‚I won't tell on you'.  
_

 _„Armin. Have you seen Eren around?" Mr Shadis had a loud voice and even if he tried to speak at a sensible volume, he still sounded like he was yelling. That didn't make him any more likeable, as if his bald head, the goatee and his grim expression weren't enough already.  
_

 _„Sir, before you get angry with him, please think about it first. He has gone through so much and-" Armin was cut off by another voice joining us in the playground.  
_

 _„Where is he?!" I hadn't heard that voice before and even if I did, I didn't remember the face it belonged to.  
_

 _„Please, Mr. Woerman, you have to understand!"  
_ _Armin started arguing with both of the men, bringing up valid points about why they shouldn't be angry with me but Mr. Woerman didn't seem to care.  
_

 _„Eren…" Mikasa whispered and pulled on my sleeve. „Let's take our chance and leave while Armin is keeping them distracted. You can just head back to your dorm and pretend you've been there the whole time."  
_

 _„I can't just leave Armin here!" Rage was building up inside of me and my hatred for these two men I only just met today was already growing. „Shadis and Woerman will probably shellac him if he doesn't tell them where I am in the next minute."  
_

 _I ripped myself loose from my sisters grip and was ready to stomp over into the shadows and kick them where the sun don't shine but before I could make a step, I found myself right in front of a tall man with a full beard, sunken eyes and a murderous look on his face.  
_

 _„Zackly's office. Now!" He bellowed, took my arm into a firm grip and dragged me along with him to the headmasters office. I struggled, tried to free myself but he was too strong. After all, I was only a ten year old boy with too big of an ego and not enough strength to land a proper punch on anyone.  
_

 _„Mr Woerman!" Mikasa's voice wasn't quiet anymore, it started to rise and I knew she was ready to snap any second now.  
_

 _„Silence! I've argued enough about this with coconut head over there already! I'm done listening to you kids. Eren is coming with me, end of discussion!"_

 _I ended up getting grounded for the next four weeks. At first, it had only been two weeks but after I snuck outside into the playground along with the other children after we came back from school, they changed it from two into four weeks.  
_

 _Those four weeks I had to spend inside my dorm, thinking about what I had done wrong while I was watching the other children play in the playground through the window. Armin and Mikasa were by my side as often as they could, trying to cheer me up and trying to pull me away from the bottomless hole I was about to fall into. No one offered us therapy to cope with what we had experienced and all in all no one seemed to care about us. About any of the children. The only thing they did for us was keep us sated and clothed.  
_

 _After a few days I got bored watching the playground and switched windows. From then on I started watching the front door, hoping that anyone I knew would turn up and take me, Mikasa and Armin with them. I didn't care if it was my father, Armin's grandfather, Mikasa's unknown aunt or just a creepy old dude who would offer to take us in. But nobody came.  
_

 _Not for those four weeks.  
_ _Not for the next few months.  
_ _And not for the next eight years._

* * *

I took another cookie out of the package and bit into it, the taste of Earl Grey tea filling my mouth. I swallowed it quickly, hoping it would get rid of the lump in my throat.  
Levi was just staring blankly into the air and seemed to have turned into stone.

„Um, Levi?" I asked and he snapped out of his daze. „Did you even listen to me?"

„Yes… yes I did. I just didn't expect your story to be this dark, that's all." He raised his mug to his lips, only holding it by the rim, and took a few sips from his tea.

„I don't think anyone who has a story to tell had a nice and happy life without problems. That's why we have a story after all." I sighed and looked up at the white ceiling, searching patterns in the plaster.

„You're probably right." The armchair made a silent squeaking noise when Levi got up. „Watching your mother die must have been horrible for you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know how hard it is."

He took a step over to me and took the empty mug out of my hands, fumbled with the packing of the cookies and took one out for himself.

„You do?" The lump was still there and made it hard for me to speak, especially when it was about my mother.

„I do. Remember when I told you that my mother died when I was really young?" He had a cookie between his teeth what made him almost sound funny when he spoke.

„Yes. Did something similar happen to your mother?" I propped myself up on my arm and watched him as he walked over to the kitchen to put the mugs into the sink.

„Not really." Levi shook his head and leaned against the kitchen counter, his back facing me.

I didn't want to imagine the expression on his face. Whenever he turned away from me, I knew there were pain and regret filling his eyes. But he never let me see it. Like he wanted to preserve his emotionless façade in front of me, for whatever reason.

„How was she? Your mother, I mean." I sat up with a swift movement, making Liberté on the backrest jump away from me in surprise.

„She was… beautiful", was all Levi said. His voice was warm and soft, like I've never heard it before.

„You seem to have inherited that from her." I giggled, trying to ease the mood. The topic about our mothers was the elephant in the room - an ugly, big elephant, waving its trunk around and begging for attention - yet neither of us seemed to be too eager to address it.

„You think so? It may come from my begetter for all you know." He paused for a second, „I was an accident, I wasn't even meant to exist. Just because some fucking client of hers decided it would be fun to bang her without protection. _Et voilà_ , here I am." Levi scoffed and turned around, raising his arms theatrically into the air like he was on stage and was performing a dramatic scene.

My eyes widened and I had to swallow that before I could speak.

„Be glad you were a wanted child." He turned back around and started to fill the sink with water.

„I wouldn't say I was wanted. At least I don't feel like it after my father never turned up. I like to believe that he ran away, glad that his family problem had taken care of itself." I slammed my back angrily against the backrest and Liberté tweeted angrily at me. „Sorry Liberté. Either way, I don't feel like caring anymore either. He abandoned me so I will erase him from my life in return. He's just a figure from my past now."

„Come here for a second", Levi sighed.

I right away followed his order, getting up from the couch and joining him in the kitchen. The running water that was filling the sink stopped when he turned around to me.

He placed his hand under my chin and turned my head from left to right and up and down. He brushed the hair out of my face and stared into my eyes for a few seconds. I tried to counter his glare as his grey eyes seemed to burn a hole into my skull but all I managed to do was raise both my eyebrows and give him a slightly scared questioning look. What on earth was he doing?

„Tch, I think I just found out why I started liking you against all odds."

„And why is that?"

„You remind me of Isabel." He stated coolly, his hand left my face and his eyes focussed back on the sink.

„That girl from ten years ago?"

Levi nodded. „A bit more red in your hair, two pigtails and a dress and you'd look just like her. Not only the looks though, you're as quirky and cheery as she was. Your bad moods only seem to last a few minutes and you're right away back to your cheerful self, trying to make everyone around you laugh. That's what I liked the most about her. She brought a bit of fun into our lives and even though she was an idiot and most of the time just getting on my nerves, she was like a little sister."

„And still I haven't made you laugh yet. But just wait for it, I'll make you laugh", I grinned and poked my finger in his side, making him twitch slightly.

„I'm not ticklish if that's what you're trying to do there." He rolled his eyes and gently pushed my hand away from him.

While he was doing the washing up, he had told me to go and take a shower before he brought me home because apparently, I smelled. I hurried to take a shower, cleaning up after myself in the bathroom and putting on my clothes from yesterday. The necklace Levi gave me was dangling around my neck and I kept playing with the charms as I was quickly typing a text to my sister that I would be coming home after work.

„Are you done in there?" Levi knocked on the bathroom door before he entered. By now he was wearing an oversized muscle shirt and the same jeans from yesterday. Or maybe a different pair, I couldn't tell.

„Yes", I answered, straightening my back and sliding my phone back into my pocket.

„No need to behave like I'm some sort of sergeant." He made a lazy wave with his hand and let his eyes wander around the bathroom. „Not too bad, I'll clean it properly once I get back. Now come on or you'll be late for work."

I followed him out of the room and back into the living room where both of us put on our shoes in silence.

„Good bye Liberté", I giggled and reached my hand out for the bird that was still hopping over the couch. She gave me a confused look and stared at my hand.

„Forget it, she won't touch you", Levi grumbled behind me and his hand joined mine, right next to it.  
Without hesitation, Liberté jumped on his finger and let herself get carried around the room and back into her cage. He quickly caged her up and turned back around to me.

„Got your stuff?" Levi asked and took his car keys from the kitchen counter.

I bit my bottom lip, thinking about making another move and holding his hand once again. As cheesy as it was, I liked holding hands. And he didn't seem to hate it either even though I knew if I asked him about it he'd curse me out and call any sort of body contact disgusting. But he couldn't hide the fact from me that he was getting nervous whenever I touched him in a non sexual manner.

„Yes, I got everything." I nodded and slid my hands into the pockets of my jeans to keep myself from taking his hand.

„Good." He opened the door, tugged on my arm which made my hand slide out of the pocket and snuck his cold fingers down my wrist before entangling them with mine.

„What are you-"

„Don't ask me, I don't know either." He mumbled and hand in hand we left his apartment.


	26. Chapter 26

_(A/N)_  
 _Yay, Wednesday!_  
 _Drama Llama, heading your way. Embrace it, love it and take care of it.  
Leave me a review if you want to, I'd love to hear if you think I totally fucked up with this chapter.  
Until next Wednesday,  
CheeZy - out_

 **Levi's POV**

„Boom, headshot!" Eren cheered and threw his hands into the air.

„Congratu-fucking-lations, seems like you finally found the R2 trigger." I rolled my eyes and watched my side of the screen, where a timer popped up and counted down 5 seconds before my character respawned.

It had been two weeks since our first date and by now Eren had almost moved in with me, considering the awfully big amount of time he spent here rather than at his home. If I didn't insist on my alone time from time to time and tell him to do something with his friends instead of me, he'd probably ask for a spare key soon and fill the shelves in my wardrobe with his clothes.

„Can I stay the night? I'm not really in the mood for a 30 minute drive back home", Eren mumbled and slid down the backrest into a lying position on my couch.

„Tch, if you want to fuck, just say it. There's no need to sugar coat that anymore", I growled and smashed my thumb down on the square button on the controller, making my character punch Eren's repeatedly in the face until he dropped dead on the floor.

„I didn't want to straight up ask for sex but- Hey! Not fair!" Eren whined and pretended to break his controller in half. He did that every time I killed him. Which happened to be a lot. „You could at least give me a chance for once!"

Eren made the pause menu pop up on the screen and I let out an annoyed sigh. „Don't be a sore loser, brat."

„I'm not a sore loser." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, the controller still in one of his hands, and pouted dramatically. „I'm just giving up because there's no way I can win this round anymore."

Our score was currently 280 to 10. You get 10 points for each kill and considering there were only 3 more minutes left for this round, I highly doubted that Eren could kill me twenty-seven times in that time.  
„Fine, we'll quit. So what now?" I stood up from the armchair I was sitting in and walked over to the playstation, pushed the power button with my big toe because I didn't feel like bending down and turned it off like that.

„I don't know", Eren grumbled, sliding even further down the couch until he was basically sitting down on the floor and only his shoulders and head remained on the sofa.

„I expected a bit more creativeness from you, Eren." I made a big step towards him, reached out my hand and took the controller out of his hand to put it back into the basket underneath the TV table where it belonged, together with the one I had been using.

„You already know what I'd want to do." Eren curved his lips upwards and into a smirk.  
I sighed and crossed my arms, leaning against the wall behind me. „Oh, do I? You never really told me what you wanted so how am I supposed to know? My wild guesses could be far off for all I know."

„Do I really have to say it?"

Over the past two weeks my sex life has been quite the opposite of boring. I guess that's what I get for accepting this young brat that was bursting with energy into my life. He was basically horny 24/7. And even though there were days I wasn't in the mood at all, Eren somehow managed to seduce me and we'd end up fucking like rabbits. And that almost every second day, if not even every day. Horny little bastard. What would I give to be as young and energetic as him again so I could maybe keep up with his excessive sex drive.

„Better say it to keep me from assuming things", I shrugged and gave him a challenging look.

„I want to be top again!"

My challenging look turned into a surprised one and then into a questioning one. „You do remember how that ended up the last time, right?"

„I do but how can I get any better if you don't let me practice?" He pleaded and shuffled back up on the couch, sitting down cross-legged.

„Tch, go get someone else to practice with?" I suggested with a roll of my eyes.  
Why did I even say that?

A painful knot formed in my guts when I thought about him being with someone else besides me. We never exactly discussed what it was that was going on between us. After the first one we went on two more dates. Well, if you call those actual dates. I don't think either of us thought of them that way, we simply went out together and had fun. One time we went skinny dipping into the ocean in the dead of night and the other time Eren had thought it would be fun to invite me over to his place. Simply put, that didn't end well. Neither for me nor for his sister.  
Nevertheless, neither of us had ever said what we were. Fuckbuddies? Lovers? We clearly weren't boyfriends yet what we were exactly, I didn't know and I don't think he did either.

„Why should I get someone else? I already have you." He silently faded out the sentence when he seemed to have realized what it had sounded like.

„So you only see me as an object for your fucking desire? To satisfy you, pleasure you? A sex machine?" I knew he didn't mean it that way but it had become my favorite pastime to fool him into thinking I was getting mad at him. I didn't need to put up much of an act, I always come off as pissed off anyway, and his reactions are always almost too adorable when he then starts to stutter and make up for his mistake.

„N-no, not at all! Levi, what are you talking about?" He laughed awkwardly, not noticing I was once again only messing with him. „I mean, of course you're like a sex god, but I also see you as a friend."

A friend. The word echoed through my mind and I repeated his sentence several times in my head.  
‚ _I also see you as a friend.'  
_

I looked at him, totally dumbfounded for a few seconds, before I found my voice again. „Butter my ass and call me a biscuit, I didn't expect that."

„That you're my friend?" He said it like he couldn't understand my confusion about it. He must have known how weird it is for me to see someone as my friend. And even weirder for someone to see me as their friend.

„Yeah, that."

„What else should you be?" Eren shrugged and made an attempt to put his feet up on the coffee table but an angry glare from me made him quickly overthink that action.

„We've known each other for three and a half weeks of which we spent one week hating the others guts and now you call me your friend?"

„We've been spending so much time together, we went on dates and mostly just hang around in your apartment playing video games, fooling around or messing up your bedsheets." Eren got up from the couch and walked around the coffee table, slowly approaching me. „By the way, I think it's weird how you're always free when I want to hang out, don't you have to work or something? Either way, over those past weeks you've become someone I'm really fond of, I like to talk to you and spend time with you. If that ain't friendship, then I'm clearly doing something wrong with my life."

„It's almost cute how easy it is for you to make friends," I muttered and met him halfway.  
I looked up at him and he looked down at me. A soft smile played around his lips while I was chewing on my bottom lip, sliding my tongue along the safety pin.

„I guess I have a talent in making friends," he grinned and giggled quietly. „Do you accept me as your friend?"

„I don't think it's normal for friends to go on dates and fuck." I released my bottom lip from my teeth and arched my eyebrows up.

„Lovers?" He suggested carefully.

I let out a half hearted laugh, „Sorry kid, not even you would fall in love with someone after knowing them for three weeks. So lovers is clearly the wrong term here."

„Fine then smartypants. Why don't you enlighten me then and tell me what we are?" If he hadn't still been grinning, I would have thought he was getting pissed at me. Not that I would mind, he would get angry every now and then at the most stupidest things and by now I've learned to just ignore that. After a few minutes he would have calmed back down anyway.

„Fuckbuddies. Or friends with benefits, if you insist that we are _friends_ now." I raised my hands and made quotation marks with my fingers.

„I can work with that", Eren nodded and placed his hands on my shoulders. „Any chance that I get you to accept our friendship before I leave?"

„I thought you wanted to stay the night and make me bottom for you again", I whispered, not exactly trying to sound seductive but I managed a blush to appear on Eren's cheeks nevertheless.

„Sure but-"  
I placed a finger on his lips to make him stop talking. „Then stop stuttering around and go for it, I might actually make up my mind and allow you to have a second try", I muttered and leaned closer to him, our noses touching and our lips only a few inches apart.

My eyes were almost shut, I was only observing his face through my eyelashes, and my hands slid up his chest before grabbing the collar of his white shirt, ready to slam our lips together any second now.

„Levi", Eren breathed out and slide his hands down my shoulders, along my sides and rested them on my waist.

„What is it, Eren?" I mumbled, grazing my teeth along his bottom lip.

„I wasn't talking about leaving tonight." He slightly turned his head away, rejecting me and I was close to forcing him to kiss me already. I wasn't up for a chat right now. My body longed for his, there was no denying it, and I just wanted to fuck him into oblivion. Or him to fuck me if it had to be.

„Then what were you talking about? Out with it already, there's a lot of stuff I'd prefer doing right now than having a chat!" I hissed and slightly pulled away from him to take a look at his expression.

He had a look on his face that I had never seen before. And I had seen a lot of expressions on his face already. Every day with him was a rollercoaster ride, he'd change his mood every three minutes and it's sometimes hard to keep up with it. But right now, I could literally see him fighting with himself, whether to give in and just fuck me like I wanted him to or tell me whatever the fuck he needed to.

„Later." He simply said and his eyes found mine. Any worry that might have hooded his eyes before were gone, they were now shimmering with desire and lust, making me forget everything I just wanted to be angry about.

„Fine." I growled, tugging on his shirt to pull him closer to me again.  
He gladly gave in and it didn't take long until we were a snogging bundle of bodies on my bed.

* * *

With a loud groan, Eren turned from his stomach around on his back. „You didn't have to be so hard on me."

„You were the one in charge, not me", I rolled my eyes and folded my arms behind my head. „No one forced you to bounce around like you're on a fucking rodeo. Even though I did enjoy it."

„Shut up", Eren giggled and softly smacked the back of his hand against my upper arm. „I probably looked the most unflattering ever, not to mention that compared to you I always look like a potato trying to be sexy."

I wanted to laugh at that but instead I just cleared my throat to cover up the small laugh I had let out by accident. It's not the time for him to hear me laugh yet. I don't think I would ever laugh in his presence. Not that I had nothing to laugh or grin about, the kid's enthusiasm and cheerful mood were highly contagious, I just didn't want to out of personal reasons. But oh how wrong I was.

„What was it that you wanted to tell me before we… got distracted?" I asked and turned my head to the side to look at him.

Eren sighed deeply and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He shut it again and seemed to think, not knowing how to start. I slowly got the feeling that it wasn't something good he was about to tell me.

„We… we're leaving. We as in me, Mikasa, Armin and the others." He refused to look at me as he spoke but I stared right into his eyes, even if they weren't focused on me but on the ceiling above us.

„Why should you be leaving?" A frown formed on my forehead and I bit down on my bottom lip.

„Did you already forget? This is a work and travel trip, Levi. We work, and we travel. We've been working here for three weeks and now it's time to travel again."

I indeed did forget about that. More voluntarily than by accident. I had pushed that fact aside from the moment he had told me about it, not wanting to think about the fact that he would have to go one day or another.  
„When?"

„The day after tomorrow, early in the morning."

„For how long were you planning this already?"

„One week."

I angrily balled my fists, my fingernails digging into the palm of my hand. „Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

„I… don't know", Eren admitted, his voice barely a whisper. „Whenever I had the chance to, we were having such a good time and I didn't want to spoil the mood."

„So you thought now would be the perfect opportunity? What the fuck, Eren?" I hissed, gritting my teeth and clenching my jaw. „If not now, would you have even told me at all? Or would you have been gone all of the sudden and three days later you'd text me ‚Hey Levi! I'm in Los Angeles!' and send a picture of your fucking grinning face on the walk of fame as an attachment?!"

„Levi-"

„Shut it, I don't want to hear any of your poor excuses!" My body moved on its own, sitting up and leaving the bed even though that I wanted to do right now was embrace him and make him stay. But my body had decided to go into defensive mode, protecting me from any possible harm and putting a physical and mental distance between Eren and me. A sharp pain spread through my body, starting in my chest and turning into a sickening feeling in my guts. Whatever that was, I didn't like it.

„I don't even have an excuse, poor or not. All I can do is ask for you to simply forgive me and make the last day we have as pleasant as possible." He was looking completely crestfallen, knowing that he had fucked up this time.

„Forgive you? Like snap", I snapped my fingers in the air, „and it's all forgiven and forgotten? Who the fuck do you think I am?"  
I had already been mad at him before, those several times that I had met him, hated him and had been angry at him for mere existing. But his time it was different.  
It hurt.  
It fucking hurt.

„Can I still stay the night?" Eren asked carefully and I shot him a furious glare.

„Knock yourself out, I don't give a shit. You'll be gone by tomorrow anyway", I snapped at him, grabbed my boxer shorts that were lying on the floor and left the room, wanting to slam the door dramatically shut as I left but the door was too far opened to reach it as I walked past it.

„Levi, wait!" I heard him jump up from the bed, the slated frame creaking quietly as he did, and jog after me. „Please!"

„Please what?" I spun around on my heals, giving him an ice cold death stare. „Please forgive me? Please let me go without causing drama? Please don't have hurt feelings because I'm being a douche?" My voice got louder with every word.

„Please calm down", Eren mumbled and looked down at his feet. Both of us were still naked, he made a faint attempt at covering himself up out of embarrassment while I stepped into my boxer shorts and pulled them up.

„I _am_ calm", I hissed and turned back around, stomping into the living room and starting to tidy up the remains of our gaming session.

„You're the opposite of calm!"

„I'LL SHOW YOU CALM, YOU FUCKING TWAT!" I yelled at him. I didn't want to yell. I didn't even want to be angry. But the defensive mode was activated and whatever I wanted was unimportant now. My mind defended itself on its own, not realizing that it was causing an even bigger drama.  
I wanted to pick up some of the trash that was scattered around the room but I couldn't move. A pair or warm arms had wrapped around me form behind and didn't show any sign of letting me go any time soon.

„Let me go", I growled, clenching my fists even though it would be useless, I wouldn't be able to move my arms anyway. At least not without hurting Eren.

„I won't let you go until you calmed the fuck down." His voice was smooth, not furious and loud like mine.

„Why… why is it that all the people that I get attached to leave me?" I was taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself and ignore the aching pain in my chest.

„That's not true. You have Erwin, Petra and Hanji. They're not leaving you, are they?" Eren placed his chin on my shoulder and my already aching heart started to pound even faster.

„That's different. They're my friends. You are… I don't even know what the fuck you are. But I'm attached to you in a different way than to them. And now you're leaving, just like all the other people I had feelings for and I haven't even smiled at you yet!"

„What does smiling have to do with people leaving you?" He gently smooched his head against mine and I found myself leaning in to it.

„Remember when I told you I don't smile, laugh or hug people because of one particular reason?" His embrace around me tightened and I felt him nod slowly in response. „Actually, there's two reasons."

„And they are..?"

I wiggled my shoulders, making him drop his arms around me, and took a few steps away from him again, distancing myself. My defensive mode was wearing off but I still didn't feel comfortable being that close to him.  
I turned around and looked him dead in the eye. He looked back at me, worry and regret written all over his face. „Reason number one; To me, smiling is a sign of weakness. Smiles are said to be light of ones soul. I don't like showing people this light, unless they really deserved it. Reason number two; Whoever saw me smiling, left me. Simple as that. That's why I don't smile. And you're leaving as well now so what do I have to lose?"

Everything inside of me was reluctant to do it. It had been years, too many years, since I had curved my lips into a smile.  
It felt weird to smile after all this time.  
But I smiled.  
For Eren.  
Because even after all the hate and anger he had caused me - he deserved to see it.


	27. Chapter 27

_(A/N)_  
 _Yay for Wednesday!_  
 _I'm back with a new and quite long chapter. So many ideas, so less time to write them down. I do have the time, but Levi and Eren don't._  
 _Reviews make my world go round so feel free to leave me one and tell me what you think of this chapter!_  
 _Until next Wednesday,_  
 _CheeZy - out_

 **Eren's POV**

The smile on Levi's face ripped my heart into pieces.  
It was the saddest yet most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I felt my eyes widen and my mouth fall open and I had to gasp quietly. Never have I seen someone smile with that much sadness and pain in their eyes and still come off as genuine and maybe even sort of happy.  
And after all, his smile was even contagious. The corners of my mouth started twitching and soon I found myself grinning ever so slightly.

„Stop grinning like an idiot", Levi sighed and his smile slowly faded as he spoke.

„Your smile is gorgeous!" I whispered, too scared that if I talked any louder, the specialty of this moment would be ruined.

„First time hearing that", he let out a half hearted laugh and another tiny smile crept onto his face. „By the way, sorry for calling you a twat. It was the first insult that came into my head and it was just way too fucking harsh."

„I don't even know what a twat is", I giggled quietly and I almost didn't believe my ears when Levi chuckled softly as well.  
I was slowly starting to question his sanity.

His coldhearted façade had crumbled into a pile of dust on the floor and the Levi I was seeing right now was almost a stranger. Smiling, giggling, what will be next? Nice gestures? Compliments? I was completely and utterly confused, I had never expected to see him like this. Sure, I had always wanted to see him smile and laugh but neither did I expect that to actually happen, nor did I think it would be this heartbreaking and fulfilling at the same time.

„Levi, you're scaring me", I admitted.

He cleared his throat, put one hand up to his forehead and looked down at the floor for a few seconds. I was about to ask what he was doing, when he looked back up at me, his face back to the emotionless state which I knew all to well by now. Hell, I knew it so well, I could even sometimes read his emotions off his eyes because those were giving it all away. His lips may be pressed to a thin line that just radiates negativity and his eyebrows may be furrowed so much, his eyelashes touched the thin lines of hair that were his brows, but his steel grey eyes kept telling me whatever was going on behind his façade.

„Tch, I didn't mean to scare you with my politeness. It won't happen again", Levi huffed and started collecting empty crisp packages and Dr Pepper bottles from the floor and coffee table.

„Maybe scaring was the wrong word but I couldn't think of a better one." I knelt down on the floor, retrieving a few crisps I had dropped accidentally from underneath the couch and brought them to the bin in the kitchen. „But either way, thank you."

„What are you thanking me for?" He threw the packages and bottles into a silver trash can on the other end of the kitchen before he turned around to give me a confused look.

„For letting me see that side of you. As much as I think to know you, you still surprise me."

„Likewise."

We both fell silent and I left Levi alone for a minute as he tidied and cleaned up the mess we had made in the living room. He wouldn't approve of my cleaning anyway and just scold me so I didn't even bother giving it a shot. I quickly hurried back to his bedroom, grabbing the next best piece of clothing I could find and put it on. Luckily, it happened to be a pair of my sweatpants that were still here after I brought them along a few days ago when we had a movie marathon with pizza and beer. Nonalcoholic one for me though, because Levi insisted that I don't drink as long as I'm not twenty-one.

„What time are you leaving?" He asked out of the blue when I came back to join him in the living room once again. I had hoped we could drop that subject but I guess there was no way for me to avoid it any further. After all, there was still something left to say - for me at least - even though I was scared to do so.

„Four in the morning on Saturday." I sighed and looked down at my feet. In my head I was already carefully preparing my sentences for the next argument we were for sure going to have once I asked him about it.

My friends were organizing a small party at our bungalow, nothing too big so we could clean it up again before we left but it was a party nevertheless. We did that every time we left a place, it has become sort of a ritual and we made sure to keep it up.

As much as it had probably annoyed her to ask me, Mikasa offered that I should invite Levi to the party as well. Everyone else had invited the people they had met over the short time we had spent here and whether they liked it or not, Levi was one of those people as well. Yet still uninvited. Armin was the only one who knew I still hadn't confessed to Levi that we were leaving and if he hadn't told me to finally tell him in the first place, I probably would have left Levi in the dark about it.

Levi avoided looking at me. By now he was done tidying and leaned against the armrest of his armchair. „I still can't believe you didn't tell me."

„All I can say is that I'm sorry." I shrugged and started chewing on my lip. I had a fluttery feeling in my stomach that made me feel sick, knowing that there was still more I had to get off my chest.

„Please don't get angry again but…"

„I can't promise anything."

„We're having a farewell party at our place tomorrow evening. We're inviting all the people we met during our stay and um… well, you're one of them so…" My tongue kept stumbling over the words and I probably slipped into the worst german accent one could imagine.

„Is that your way of inviting me?" Levi arched one of his eyebrows up and looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. „I guess that's what Erwin was talking about the other day."

He continued to grumble incoherent words to himself before he pushed himself away from the armchair.

„You talked to Erwin?" I asked, rather confused about why he would talk to him.

After I had told Levi about Erwin talking to me two weeks ago, Levi had explicitly said that he won't be in the mood to talk to Erwin until he's forced to meet him in person. I noticed how much we seem to resemble each other in that aspect; Giving someone the silent treatment until we can't avoid talking to them anymore.

„He texted me a few days ago, asking if I would show up on Friday night as well. I didn't know what he was on about so I simply told him that I won't and ended the conversation."

„Armin invited him, they have been texting back and forth for weeks now." I brushed my hand through my hair and started to yawn. It was getting pretty late already and even though I was getting a lot of practice, sex still exhausts me to the point that I just want to lie down and don't move for the next few hours. Or maybe I'm just lazy.

„So Armin had the guts to tell Erwin but you couldn't bring up the courage to tell me?" His skeptical tone was enough to boil up some anger inside me.  
Levi knew well enough that what me and him had was very different from whatever it was that Armin and Erwin had going on. They were just friends. And for them it's a lot easier to say good bye because most of their communication was based on text messages, not on physical contact.

„Are you comparing us to them?" I gulped the anger down and took a deep breath. Now is not the time to get angry.

„No. That was a stupid thing to say." He tucked a few strands of his black hair behind his ear. Even though he had cut it a week ago, it was growing like weeds in a garden and was already back to the length it had been before.

„Anyway, will you join us at the party? After all, it'll be the last night. And I'd love to spend it with you." I hoped I didn't sound too much like I was begging him to come or implying that we would end up fucking once again. Not that I would have something against it, I simply didn't want it to sound like that's all I wanted.

„What time?" Levi sighed in defeat.

„Six o'clock in the evening."

„No shit, I would have turned up at six in the morning if you hadn't told me." He rolled his eyes sarcastically.

„Is the hatchet buried..?" I asked carefully but Levi simply shrugged.

„I'm still angry. But being pissed at you won't make the limited time we have left memorable. So let's postpone this fight until Saturday."

„Agreed."

* * *

„Eren?"

„What is it, Jean?" I asked without actual interest and kept fiddling with the balloon, desperately trying to make a knot without losing two of my fingers due to blood loss.

„I could use some help over here!" I heard the small stepladder creaking underneath Jean's weight as he was trying to put up the only garland we owned.

I was sitting on our small couch, blowing up balloons while Jean tried to decorate the living room with whatever decorative things we could find.

„Why don't you ask Marco? I'm busy!" The blue gummy around my fingers snapped and the balloon shot out of my hands, flying loops around the living room while making awful farting noises which made me chuckle quietly.

„MARCOOO?" Jean sounded really desperate but Marco quickly hurried to his rescue. I heard them talking but I didn't really bother listening. Those two are flirting and giggling whenever they were together and it slowly started to annoy everyone in the whole house but that didn't keep them from slobbering over each other every second.

I took another balloon out of the package and started blowing it up until it was filled so much I feared it might burst.  
Annie came up from behind me and took the balloon from my hands. „Let me do that, you ripped four balloons in a row now. That's a waste of money."

„Fine", I grumbled as I stood up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, hoping I could make myself useful there. „Any help needed?"

„Not right now." Sasha was aggressively chopping vegetables into pieces with one hand while she was stuffing her face with a sandwich with the other.

„How about you start packing your stuff?" Mikasa poked her head out of her room. „Your room is a mess and your stuff is everywhere!"

„Who are you, my mother?" I rolled my eyes and my sisters eyes darkened immediately. „Sorry…"

I slouched over into my room and dragged my black bag out from underneath the bed, opened the zipper and started throwing my clothes inside. I could already hear Levi scolding me, how I could dare to just carelessly throw my clothes inside my bag instead of folding them neatly and making a Tetris kind of jigsaw puzzle to fit everything inside perfectly.

I left Levi's Ramones shirt on my bed as well as the pair of sweatpants I wore last night, planning to wear them on the bus tomorrow. The bus ride was going to be a pain in the ass, but I hoped I could at least sleep a bit and enjoy the scenery while we would drive all the way out of Florida until we would reach Atlanta to start this whole thing over. Work, get to know new people, have a party, travel.

/

The time was nearing six o'clock and I slowly started to grow impatient. We were all sitting in the living room, the stereo playing a random indie song by the Kooks while most of us were on their phones, eating crisps, quietly singing along to the song or doing all three at the same time.

We had really outdone ourselves this time. Sasha had set up a small buffet, with several small snacks and Jean had made his best cold punch which he was famous for among his friends. Annie and Marco had decorated the living room quite nicely while Armin had managed the whole preparations, telling everyone what needed to be done and planning how we would be taking care of the cleanup afterwards. Connie had tried to help Sasha in the kitchen, with an emphasis on tried, Mikasa had taken care of the music and I… well I had been in my room, packing my stuff because I had spent too much time at Levi's this morning instead of coming home early and packing together with the others.  
The neighbors had been warned in advance that it might get a bit louder tonight and everything was prepared so we could ditch this place as soon as the clock hit four AM.

The doorbell made Sasha jump up immediately and run towards the door. She had been the one to initiate this whole party thing so she was the one most excited about it.

„Hello!" I heard her cheer and a deep male voice answered with a short „Hey there."

I leaned back to peek into the hallway, seeing a very muscular blonde guy and another man, about a head taller than the other, with dark brown hair coming to join us in the living room.

„Annie!" The brown haired man took our friend who had stood up to greet them into a tight hug.

„Hey everyone", the blond guy held his hand up and a wave of „Hi", „S'up" and „Hello" from the seven of us who didn't know them came right back at him.

„These are Bertold and Rainer", Annie pointed first at the taller guy and then at the blonde wall of muscle. „Make yourselves at home, food and drinks are over there."

„Nice!" Rainer grinned and right away headed for the buffet.

Shortly after Rainer and Bertold had arrived, a brown haired girl with freckles and a messy ponytail came who, to my surprise, brought Historia along with her. She introduced herself as Ymir and felt like it was necessary to point out that whoever dared to touch her girlfriend will end up one head shorter. I had a feeling tat her and Rainer will get into a hell lot of trouble by the way that Rainer started staring at Historia like she was a goddess. She had been invited by both Sasha and Armin. It's a small world, isn't it.

The party was slowly starting, the music got louder and everyone started drinking and eating and having fun. Yet neither Levi nor Erwin had turned up by now. I could understand if Levi had backed out of it, the last time he came over ended with a disaster, but I had actually counted on Erwin to at least show up in time. I was casually sipping on Jean's cold punch when I heard the faint sound of the doorbell through the noise of the music and talking people.

No one else seemed to have noticed it so I had to be the one to go and open the door for our late guests.

The door swung open and I was greeted by Levi and Erwin, who were having a heated discussion right outside our front door. Levi was flourishing his hands while Erwin was just standing there with his arms crossed in front of his chest, listening to Levi's shit storm.

„True friends stab you in the front, not in the back! How could you possibly think that was okay? You could have at least asked me before you went spilling out my fucking secrets to others!"

„Levi!" Erwin, who had thrown a look at me out of the corner of his eyes, intervened and tried to calm Levi down, who still didn't seem to have noticed that I had opened the door.

„No, let me finish!" He argued and Erwin made a short motion with his head into my direction, which made Levi's head snap around, the words he was about to say seemed to get stuck in his throat.

„Are you done?" I giggled softly and leaned against the doorframe.

„Yes", Levi groaned and turned back to Erwin for a second, raising his index finger in front of the taller man's face. „Don't talk to me tonight or I will rip you apart. We will settle this tomorrow, okay?"

Erwin nodded and Levi walked past me, taking the mug with the cold punch out of my hand as he did.

„No alcohol, brat", Levi growled before he raised the mug to his lips and emptied it in one go. This was almost like a deja vu. „Good stuff, who made this?"

„Jean did."

„Horse face?"

„Horse face."

I motioned Erwin to come in and closed the door, leading the two into the living room. „Food, drinks, people, games." I pointed at everything as I counted it up and Erwin right away joined Armin who was chatting with Ymir and Historia. This was really a night of deja vu's.

„Thanks for coming", I mumbled to Levi who was still standing next to me.

„Sorry for being late. I got caught up arguing with Erwin. I wouldn't let my last chance of seeing you go down the drain", he shrugged like it was the most normal thing for him to do even though we both knew that being social isn't his favorite thing.

„I won't just stop existing once I'm gone", I chuckled and gave him a gentle nudge against his shoulder. „We can still text and phone and skype."

„Sure…" The frown on his face didn't look convinced.

„Stop frowning, it makes you look old", I grinned, pinched his cheeks and pulled the corners of his mouth upwards.

„Who are you calling old, brat?" He hissed and gave me an angry glare which looked so ridiculous with the forced smile, I couldn't help but start laughing.

„Yeesh, how much did you drink? You reek of alcohol."  
He pulled away from my hands that forced him to smile a grim grin and waved his hand in front of his face to stress the fact that I apparently smelled.

„Not much, just half a mug of Jeans punch. It's pretty strong though."

„Yeah, I noticed that when I downed it." Levi ran his hand through his hair. Only now did I notice that he had his blue bandana wrapped around his forehead than his wrist like usual. It pushed his black hair up a bit, making it look more voluminous than usual. All in all, I had totally ignored his outfit for today.

He was wearing the jeans vest, which he also wore to our first date, over a simple white shirt with pulled up sleeves, tucked into a pair of his black jeans that looked like someone ripped the lower legs off of them and just left them like that. A silver chain was dangling from his belt loop and the safety pin he usually had through his bottom lip was switched with a black simple ring which he would only wear at night most of the times because the safety pin would keep opening and poking him in the face.

„What are you looking at?" He had caught me staring and stood with his hands on his hips.

„N-nothing, I just really like your outfit today."

„Thanks." Levi left my side and walked over to the buffet, placing a few snacks on a paper plate and refilling the mug with the cold punch. The back of his vest, which used to be empty, was decorated with a large crest that had two white wings crossed over each other on it.

I felt my face starting to heat up for no particular reason, I was simply happy that he had liked the patch that much, he would put it on his vest. Yet one of the white wings wasn't white anymore. He had colored it in a strong blue, probably to have it resemble Liberté's blue and white wing.

„You're staring at him like you want to eat him. That's creepy." Jean's voice right next to me on my left made me jump and let out a quiet squeal. „I honestly didn't expect that grumpy midget to turn up."

„He's not as bad as you think he is", I defended him in fluent German and darkened my expression. I didn't stop staring at Levi for one second so instead of giving Jean an angry look, I just observed Levi a bit angrier than before. „You just don't know him, that's why you think he's an asshole."

„I just don't get you. How can you choose someone like him to be your boyfriend?"

„He's not my boyfriend", I argued and finally turned to look at Jean.

„What else should he be?" Jean let out a laugh and crossed his arms in front of his chest. „Oh wait, you two are just friends, right?"  
His voice was laced with sarcasm and I stuck my tongue out at him because I couldn't even think of a good comeback.

„Keep that tongue to yourself, brat." A cookie got shoved into my mouth before I could say anything against it. „S'up horse face."

„And I thought Eren calling me that pissed me off but now you as well? No thanks."  
I wanted to tell Jean to shut up but all that came out were muffled sounds and cookie crumbs. By the time I had finally swallowed the cookie that Levi had made me eat, Jean had already stomped off, rejoining Marco on the couch where they continued to cuddle or whatever.

„Come on, let's see if you guys have any decent music." Levi hooked his arm under mine since his hands were both full and pulled me along with him to the stereo where Mikasa had placed her iPod and a sign that read „Feel free to change the music to your liking "

„I think there might be some stuff that even you would enjoy", I giggled and scrolled through my sisters music library. „Mikasa's taste in music isn't too bad."  
Levi pointed his pinky at a song, since he couldn't speak because he had a cookie in his mouth now as well.

„I didn't know you liked Alice Cooper." I pressed play on the song and the strong chords of a guitar echoed through the room and a few cheers erupted from Rainer, Sasha and Connie.

Levi swallowed before he spoke; „One of my favorites actually. Seems like your friends like him as well. Maybe there's still hope for all you hipster shits."  
As soon as Alice Cooper's raspy voice started to sing, Connie was roaring along loudly and not only Sasha and Rainer but even Jean and I think Erwin joined in. I didn't really feel like singing but I mouthed along to the lyrics as well with a grin spread over my face.

 _Your cruel device  
_ _Your blood like ice  
_ _One look could kill  
_ _My pain, your thrill_

As soon as the chorus started blasting through the room, Levi had set his plate and mug aside, wrapped his arms around my neck and started singing, inching closer with every word until our noses touched.

 _I wanna love you but I better not touch  
_ _I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop  
_ _I wanna kiss you but I want it too much  
_ _I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison_

I could taste the alcohol on his lips when he kissed me.  
I didn't care if they were venomous or not.  
I loved it.


	28. Chapter 28

_(A/N)  
Yay it's Wednesday!  
_ _ **Smut Warning**_ _; That particular part in this chapter was inspired by the song FMLYHM by Seether (Listen to it! Highly recommended!). I actually wanted to use it but it would have been too convenient if that song just started playing out of the blue, you know what I mean?  
As always, reviews make my world go 'round so leave one if you like!  
The next chapter might take a but longer than a week. I have to finish a drawing for it as well as I do not have much time because I'm going to a convantion this weekend and have to work a lot. So if there is no chapter next Wednesday, don't worry, I didn't forget.  
CheeZy - out_

 _(A/N No.2)  
I'm already sorry._

 **Levi's POV**

A few whistles and some faint claps as well as a fake gag, which probably came from Mikasa, reached my ears through the powerful accords of the music as Eren and I started making out like there was no tomorrow. And to be honest, there wasn't going to be a tomorrow. Not for us at least. By tomorrow he would be gone.  
Thus I savored every second I got to spend with him tonight.

I knew that Eren didn't mind me kissing him like this while everyone could see us. Usually I was the one who wasn't up for any public display of affection but I set that aside. For tonight. Because this was the first time I got to say a proper goodbye to the person who meant something to me. He did leave me as unexpected as everyone else but at least I would get to show him once more how much he actually means to me before I most likely will never see him again.

„They're watching us", Eren whispered against my lips, so quietly that only I could hear it.

I was looking at him through half lidded eyes, he had his turquoise eyes focused on mine and a blush was spread across his cheeks.  
„So what?" I muttered and brushed my lips against his.

„Doesn't that bother you?"

„Does it bother you?" I turned the question around and he shook his head.

I pressed my lips against his again and I felt him smirk into the kiss. This was only the second time ever that we kissed without having it end in yet another session of desperate sex.

„Oi! Lovebirds!"

Eren and I quickly parted like a teenage couple that had been caught snogging in the hallway. But we were neither a high school couple, nor did either of us give a damn if anyone saw us but the sudden address as ‚Lovebirds' made us literally jump away from each other as if to stress the fact that Lovebirds had been the completely wrong term to call us.

„No one wants to see you two making out like you'd get money for it!" A brunet girl scoffed. She had freckles all over her face, probably stood at least several inches taller than me, and was holding a short blonde girl who seemed to be her girlfriend against her chest as if to protect her from the view.

„Who the fuck shat on your cupcake?" I took a step towards her, resting my death stare on her face but she didn't seem to be bothered by it one bit. „You must be sexually frustrated or something. I guess lesbian sex just isn't that fulfilling. Or maybe you're just anything but a good lay."

I heard Eren suppress his laughter behind me as her eyes went wide and she covered the blonde girl's ears with her hands who just looked up at her, confused about what her girlfriend was doing.

„What did you just say, auntie?" The brunet hissed at me, loud enough for me and several others around us to hear it over the music.

„Call me that again and heads will roll, dyke!" The music was slowly fading out and our argument was to be heard loud and clear all over the living room.

„You make me sick! Go and fuck that twink", she pointed at Eren behind me, „somewhere else but not in front of me and mostly not in front of my innocent Historia!"

„So you _are_ sexually frustrated!" Eren laughed out, sounding rather spiteful which was something I've never heard from him before, and also stepped up to her, standing supportively next to me. „But worry not Ymir, you won't have to watch us any longer. Come on, Levi!"

I wanted to argue but Eren grabbed my wrist without any further comment and dragged me all the way through the living room and into the hallway where he kicked open the door to his room, pushed me inside and shut it behind us. Everyone had watched us in silence and even after we had disappeared into Eren's room, there was still no sound coming from anyone in the living room.

I gave Eren an angry glare, not wanting to ago on a tirade while everyone was still listening in on us, curious about what would happen next. It took a few seconds for a new song to start, the bass was blasting through the bungalow and I immediately started my second rant for today.

„That fucking Stone Butch and her Pillow Princess, one more word from her and I'll explode!" I kind of whisper-yelled and raised my arms dramatically, feeling the need to punch something, preferably that Ymir. „Fuck's sake, what is her fucking problem?"

Eren leaned his back against the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest and an amused look on his face as I kept on cursing and insulting that girl for several more sentences.

„You sure like to defend yourself, huh?" He asked with a soft giggle when I took a break to take a deep breath.

„I hate that type of lesbians. Just because they're into girls they feel the need to belittle every man that crosses their path! One more reason why gay men are the better homosexuals!" I gritted my teeth and sat down on the edge of his bed. The sheets were already removed and the blanket was a crumpled ball at the foot of the mattress.

„Are they? Because I've only met three gay dudes so far and the majority of them are assholes", Eren laughed on the quiet.

„Don't push your luck, Jäger!" I was kind of proud of myself for finally learning how to pronounce his last name. We had spent a total of fifteen minutes sitting opposite to each other on my couch, taking turns in saying ‚Jäger' until the word had lost its meaning but in the end I had finally been able to pronounce it the right way.

„Why not? The sex is much better when you're angry." He winked at me and stuck his tongue out. Cheeky little bastard.

„You want angry? I'll show you angry!" I got up from the bed again and started to walk towards him, taking slow and small steps while I continued to speak.„Tch, I wanted to wait until you're gone to let this out but since you seem to desperately want me to, fine! You piss me off, Eren! You piss me off with that cheerful attitude, you just pretend like everything is all hunky dory between us but let me tell you, it's not!"

I actually had only wanted to fake it. Toy with him like I usually do. But now I couldn't stop myself. It was like I had thrown a handful of Mentos into a bottle full of Coca Cola. My anger just bubbled up, spilled over and made a mess.

„You didn't tell me that you're leaving which you knew since a week already! You didn't care that I might have feelings as well that could get hurt by that! You didn't seem to give a damn when I smiled for you, do you have any idea how fucking hard it is for me to open up that far to anyone? And then last but not least you dared to invite me to this godforsaken party, rubbing it into my face once more that you're leaving me! I tried to be nice, I tried to play it cool. For you! But you know what? I'm sick of it! I don't want to play nice anymore because in all honesty I don't even feel like you deserve it anymore! And now you still have the guts to try and talk me into sex, are you out of your mind? You're such a fucking piece of shit, I wouldn't want to touch you with a ten foot pole right now!"

As I was approaching um physically, I was mentally distancing myself from him, trying to forget about everything that had happened between us over the past few weeks and going back to the very beginning.

I wanted to hate him again, just so I could make this easier for me. Hate him, love him, hate him, love him. I was basically ripping out the petals of a daisy flower one by one. Hate him, love him, hate him, love him. Still so many petals to go.

Eren's bottom lip was trembling, either with anger or with sadness, I couldn't tell and I didn't want to know. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me close to him and staring at me with so many emotions in his eyes, I couldn't name a single one of them. All the feelings inside of him as well as inside of me were one giant mess, making us say and do stuff we might regret later on. My heart was pumping at such a rapid pace, I feared it might stop at some point and just explode out of my chest.

„Pipe down, grumpy midget."

„Fuck you, Indie-ana K."

Hate him, love him.

„You really hate me, don't you." Eren's voice was but a whisper.

„I wish I would. That would make things a hell lot easier." I spat the words right into this face. „Yet sadly I ended up liking you and now all I want is to get you out of my system."

„Go ahead. I won't stop you." His tone had something aggressive to it, something that I hadn't heard since that one Friday night that had triggered all of this.

„But only under one condition; I'm on top."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him. We've had this argument so many times already. And unless he'd unleash the dominant animal that was sleeping somewhere inside of him, I wouldn't bottom for him. Not again.

„Don't give me that look, Levi", Eren grinned smugly, pushed himself away from the door, still holding my collar in his hands, and slammed me against the wall next to him. The wind got knocked out of my lungs, making me gasp and grab his wrist in a defensive manner.

„I'll give you whichever look I-" I didn't get to finish my sentence. He had claimed my lips with his in such a violent way, it made me wonder if it was even still a kiss or just an act of desperation that made our lips crash together.

I let go of his wrists and buried my hands in his hair, pulling on it and pushing our faces even closer together.  
Hate him, love him.

Eren's hands dropped down from my collar and travelled down my upper body, popping up several buttons to my vest on the go, until they reached my hips. I shivered when he sneaked his hands around them and gave my ass a soft squeeze. I didn't want to show any of the anticipation that started to build up inside me, not the desire I felt for him despite all of the anger and pain that filled my chest and made it hard for me to breathe.

„Levi…" Eren panted as we parted for a few seconds to get rid of both our shirts in a hurry; we were running out of time. Only a few more hours and our time would be up. There will be no more lazy evenings in front of my tv. No passionate sex sessions. No dorky dates. No random music writing. No stupid brat to annoy the shit out of me. No Eren to brighten up the monotony of my daily life.

„Come with me!" He breathed out and reconnected our lips for only a second before he pulled away again. „Leave this place and travel with me!"

Everything inside me screamed yes and no at the same time. Eren didn't even give me a chance to give him an answer and I don't think he really expected one. Instead, he pulled me into an openmouthed kiss, our tongues colliding and fighting for dominance while our hands were all over each others bodies.  
I was still trapped between his body and the wall, unable to move anything apart from my hands and my lips. It was like I was paralyzed, to many different emotions telling me ‚yes' and ‚no' and ‚do it' and ‚don't' and that had my mind spinning like a wheel of fortune that didn't seem to come to a halt any time soon.  
Hate him, love him.

„Stay", I growled when Eren started to kiss along my jawline and down my neck while his fingers blindly fumbled with the button of my jeans. „Don't leave this place and stay here with me!"

I, too, didn't get an answer. We were both too caught up in the heat of the moment to have a proper discussion about it anyway.

I felt Eren shift and his as well as my trousers along with my boxer shorts dropped down to my ankles. With shaky legs, which I preferred to ignore, I stepped out of my pants and before I even got a chance to object, he had already put his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up.  
I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist, entangling my feet on his back and subconsciously giving in to him, accepting my submissive part like it was no big deal. This was our last time so he might as well do whatever he wanted.

Eren's teeth were scraping along my collar bone and as I glanced down at him, my brows furrowed and still with an overall expression of hatred all over my face, he looked back up at me which made my breathing hitch for a moment. His eyes were darkened and he licked his lips like a hungry animal. He didn't seem to think anymore, just act on instinct. And so did I. I pushed back any angry or sad thought I had in my mind, locked them up and let the animal inside me take the lead.

„Come on, Eren", I purred and raked my hands through his soft hair. „Fuck me. Fuck me like you'd hate me."

He had buried himself inside of me before either of us wasted a thought about protection or preparation. We were too desperate, too engulfed in the pleasure to care about those trivial things.  
A sharp pain shot up my spine and I pressed my back against the cold wall behind me as I clung to his neck rather for dear life than for support. I wanted to yell, scream out the pain, the anger and the sadness that had bottled up inside me but I couldn't reach any of them. They were locked up and out of my reach. And the key? Was dangling around Eren's neck, clanking together with the other charms on his necklace with every violent thrust of his hips that pushed him deeper and deeper inside of my aching ass.  
Hate him, love him.

Pants turned into moans and moans turned into undefinable sounds of pain and pleasure, filling the room and drowning out the loud music. Let them hear us, let them know that we are more than just friends and let them hear how much we fucking loved it!

I threw my head back as Eren hit my soft spot, making my vision go blurry, and I started to moan out incoherent words, not knowing what either of them meant. Everything was losing its meaning and everything that seemed to be counting was the feeling of ecstasy that was pumping through my veins.  
Eren tried his best to stay as quiet as possible, biting down on the skin on my shoulder and I could have sworn I felt his teeth dig through my skin and draw blood. I knew he wouldn't last much longer but I was on the brink of my orgasm already so what did it matter.

My nails scratched down the back of his neck and as far down his back as I could reach, desperately trying to find anything to hold on to as my climax ripped through me, turning every pain that I was feeling into bliss.

„Eren!"  
„Levi!"

We moaned each others names at once because they were the only thing that came into our minds at that moment. Eren.

I felt his abdomen rub on my erection, either intentionally or by accident, but I came nevertheless, thick drips of cum leaking out and drizzling down onto his and my stomach. My breath got caught and I squeezed my eyes shut as Eren pulled out way too soon, spilling his own cum all over my thigh.  
I wanted to collapse on top of him, completely spend and unable to hold myself up any longer but his trembling hands told me that he already struggled to keep me up.  
Hate him, love him.

„Let me down", I hissed, slowly regaining control over my mind again, and he slowly sat me back down on my feet.  
I don't know how long we stood there, just staring at each other. His hair was a mess, his tanned cheeks a faint shade of pink and his eyes were slowly turning back to their usual blue green color. I bit down on my lip, wanting to play with the safety pin but only caught the small ring between my teeth.

A knock on the door ripped us both out of our immobile state and Eren quickly slammed his back against the door next to me to prevent anyone from entering. The terrified look on his face was almost enough to make me giggle.

„Eren?" Armin's voice sounded dull through the wood of the door and over the loud music. „Are you alright in there? Sounded like you two were slaughtering each other or something."

Eren and I gave each other a knowing look and it took him a few seconds to give Armin a proper answer. „Nothing out of the ordinary."

„Okaaay…" Armin slowly retreated and left us alone again.

„What the fuck", I started to chuckle and Eren burst out laughing.  
He slowly slid down the door and sat down on the wooden floor, covering his mouth with his hand as he was still laughing and giggling. I gladly joined him on the floor, making sure that I cleaned up the by now dry jizz from my abs and thigh and put on my boxer shorts before sat down next to him.  
We both just sat there for a while, laughing at I don't even know what. Maybe it was the weirdness of this moment or the wretchedness of our desperate sex session.

It felt good to laugh again, any of the anger I had felt before faded into nothing and it was like I was trying to laugh away my sorrows.  
After we had calmed down again, Eren lay his head down on my shoulder and sighed deeply. „You know, I was being serious."

„About what?" I turned my head to look at him.

„That you should come with me. You have no job that's holding you here, you have enough money to just leave for a few months. So why not come with me?"  
Now it was my turn to sigh. „Why don't you just stay here? What's forcing you to leave? You already almost live at my place so why not stay there entirely? You can still join your friends later on."

„I couldn't do that to them. We're in this together so we travel together or not at all." Eren shook his head.

„And that's the reason why I won't come with you either. I can't just leave my friends behind like that. And who would take care of Liberté?"  
We both fell silent and stared straight ahead.

„Eren…" I started after a few seconds and that painful twisty feeling in my guts was back again. „Hand me your phone for a second."

„Um.. sure, why?" He reached forward to grab his skinny jeans that he had kicked across the floor earlier. His phone fell out as soon as he started to search for it and I quickly snatched it away from him.

My thumb was trembling when I unlocked the phone and flicked through the home screen until I found the app I was looking for.

„What are you doing?" Eren leaned over to catch a glimpse at what I was doing with his phone but I turned the screen away from him.

„Leaving something for you to find once we part ways." Not really. I opened up the app for his contacts and scrolled down until I found it.

 _‚Levi xx'_

A big lump formed in my throat when I flicked my thumb to the side and pressed the delete button. I did the same with the message conversation between him and me. I had planned to do this all along, it wasn't a spontaneous action. I just knew that if I didn't do this, he would never do what I will ask him to.

„Eren, there are two things I want to ask of you." I handed Eren back his phone, stood up and gathered my clothes to put them back on.

„Ask away", he smiled and did the same, pulling up tight skinny jeans and throwing on his shirt inside out.

„Number one…" I stood in front of him and a sad smile formed on my lips. I had to swallow before I could continue. „Do not forget me."

„How could I ever forget you? What are you on about?" I placed one finger on his lips and he quieted down.

My other hand dug deeply into my pocket and pulled out a necklace and two charms. Liberty was molting and I had found a big blue feather on my couch the other day as well as a white one right next to it. I took the blue feather charm, pulled Eren's necklace out from underneath his shirt and attached it right next to the golden key.

„One for you and one for me. So that you won't forget me", I mumbled and pulled the necklace with the white feather over my head and let it dangle around my neck. „The second thing I want to ask of you is very important and I want you to listen very closely."

„What is it, Levi?" Eren looked down at the new charm on his necklace and then back up to me.

„Never, and I mean never, come back to me. Do not call me, do not text me and most importantly, do not come to see me." I had practiced this so many times already, carefully preparing my sentences and forming them until I was sure they wouldn't hurt that much. But in that moment, the pain I was feeling was too much to put into words.

It hurt. It fucking hurt so much.  
I just wanted to rip my heart out and throw it away just so it would stop hurting.

„W-what?" I saw a whole world crumble to pieces in Eren's eyes and it took me a herculean effort to not break down in front of him.

„You heard me." I pressed the words out through my clenched teeth.

„But-"

„Shut up, Brat", I whispered, cupped his cheeks with my hands and placed a light yet passionate kiss on his lips. „Goodbye Eren."

The last few petals of the daisy flower fell to the ground.  
Hate him, love him.

Hate him.

Love him.


	29. Chapter 29

_(A/N)  
Hey it's... not Wednesday.  
I'm terribly sorry about the horrible delay but I had a lot of shit to do like conventions, photoshoots, rehearsals, work, etc.  
BUT for letting you guys wait that long, I'm giving you an extra long chapter today, how about that?  
More notes at the end of this chapter!  
CheeZy - out_

 _P.S.: The second half of this chapter is unedited because it's already 10 pm here and i just finished writing and wanted it up by today so I would have it out of the way. I might edit out mistakes later on but for now, enjoy this chapter :)_

 **Eren's POV**

It was a warm afternoon in the middle of June. We were walking along the crowded streets of New York, heading back to the hotel we were staying at. It was our second to last day until our Visa would expire and by this time tomorrow, we'd be sitting in a plane back to Germany. We decided to spend the last week at the city we had liked the most and seven out of eight voted for New York City so here we were, having a small holiday at our favorite place out of the twelve we had visited. I was the only one who didn't vote for New York City. I hadn't even voted for anything because everyone already knew that I would go back to Florida in an instant, just to get a chance to cuss Levi out

Eight months have passed since Levi had almost completely eradicated himself out of my life. The only things I had left to remember him by were my own memories, the necklace with the four charms and the only existing picture of the both of us.

 _/_

 _„There you go", Levi hummed as he fed a small piece of cheese to Liberté who was sitting on his right hand. She gave a pleased chirp and the feathers on her head stood up like a crown._

 _I had been struggling to fumble my phone out of my pocket the whole time and finally managed to grab it, opened the camera and held it into the air.  
_ _Levi was still distracted, completely focussed on Liberté and stroking his finger down her neck. I raised my other hand behind his head, mimicking bunny ears, grinned and secretly snapped a photo of us.  
_

 _„Yo, Levi! Say cheese!" I chuckled and nudged my elbow in his side.  
_

 _He looked up from the bird and right into the camera. Yet before I could snap another picture in which he was not looking away for a change, he had covered the lens with the palm of his hand.  
_

 _„Don't take pictures of me, brat. I'm not photogenic!" He wrapped his slender fingers around my phone and locked it. „Save the battery for something better than horrendous selfies."_

/

It was a cute picture. I took it one morning when I had been about to go to work and dropped by at his place to pick up my charger which I had left there the night before. He had gotten up literally five minutes ago, was still in his pajamas and wasn't wearing any of his piercings. While Levi was looking like the natural beaut he is, I didn't look too bad in it either. He actually had the tiniest of smiles playing around his lips which I only noticed after I was staring at the picture for what had felt like hours in that one night in October, lost in thought about why he would leave me like this.

I had been completely devastated once Levi had said his goodbye and left. Mikasa had found me two hours later, sitting on my bed and staring at the naked white wall with such an angry expression on my face, it had looked like I had wanted to make the wall crumble to the floor just by staring at it.

„Where's Levi?" She had asked and looked around the room as if she had expected him to hide somewhere.

„Gone!" I had growled. „That literal son of a bitch!"

All my feelings for him had turned into anger at that moment, then had soon turned into regret, then into sadness until they had finally turned into ignorance. I didn't care anymore.

I had done as Levi had told me. I didn't call him, I didn't text him, I didn't come to see him. Not that I could do any of those anyway. Once we had arrived in Atlanta, I couldn't resist anymore and had wanted to write him an angry message, about how much of a fucking jerk he was for leaving me like that and expecting me to not talk to him ever again. But I found both our text conversation and his number missing. Sure, I could have asked Erwin for Levi's number but knowing Levi, Erwin would be a dead man if he did that. So there was no chance I'd be able to get my hands on Levi's phone number ever again.

As the months have passed, I had eventually stopped thinking about him. Sure, I would never forget him, that was impossible. I was wearing his necklace every single day but I blocked out the memory of who gave it to me and what it stood for. It was simply a piece of jewelry. Nothing more and nothing less.

Well, one can dream right? As if I could ever forget about that grumpy little midget, not care about him anymore or not waste a thought about him.  
The truth is, Levi was on my mind at least once per day, if not more. There was always something that reminded me of him, something that made me think _‚Levi would have enjoyed this'_ or _‚Levi would freak if he saw how filthy this is'_ or _‚I can literally picture Levi rolling his eyes at that'_.

Depending on the day, those thoughts were either angry, sad, or happy. Or maybe even all three at the same time. There were days when I hated him, regretted every minute I spent with him and all the feelings I had had for him but there were also days where I missed him, wished I could talk to him at least once more and see how he's doing.

„Eren, watch where you're going!"  
Someone tugged on my sleeve and pulled me away from the lamppost I was about to run into.  
„Jeez, do I have to watch out for you 24/7?" Mikasa shook her head and waved her hand in front of my face. „Earth to Eren! Did you leave your brain at the hotel this morning or something?"

„Ehh what?" I stuttered even though I had heard her loud and clear.

„He's thinking about _him_ again", Jean sneered from behind me and I almost turned around to punch him in his horsey face.

„I wasn't!" I only clenched my fists instead, digging my fingernails into the palm of the hand. „I don't give a shit about him anymore, how often do I have to repeat that?"

„Yet you treasure his necklace like life itself, you wouldn't even let anyone touch it." To prove his point, Jean grabbed the leatherette ribbon on the back of my neck and pulled on it, what made me quickly grab the four charms in the front and pull it into the other direction.

„That's not because of him!" It totally was because of him. But I wouldn't dare to say that.

„Jean, stop picking on Eren", Marco joined in and pulled Jean a bit away from me by his hand. „He has his reasons. You haven't been in his situation so you wouldn't understand."

„Fine. Please just never leave me like that asshole left Eren, okay?" I heard Jean whisper to his boyfriend and a few quiet smooches followed.

 _/_

 _It was one o'clock in the morning and the heavy bass from the night club we were heading to was just around the corner. We had walked the whole way from the car without meeting anyone but gay couples or single lesbians who were either walking the same direction as us or heading home with their One Night Stand for this night.  
_

 _„Hey, faggots!"  
_

 _Levi stopped dead in his tracks and I immediately felt him tense up.  
_

 _„Levi, you're squeezing my hand a bit too tightly", I whined and tried to wiggle my hand free from his iron grip.  
_

 _His gaze darkened and his eyes were wandering along the sidewalk and the narrow street behind us, looking for the person who had just insulted the both of us. He wasn't the only one getting his rage up at the slur but I preferred to not freak out again tonight. Only one hour ago, Levi and I_ _had gotten into an argument about how I always get angry at the most inconvenient times and over most irrelevant things. So for tonight, I wanted to avoid any further conflict.  
_ _Yet Levi seemed to think otherwise, I could already see him going on a rampage.  
_

 _„Hey! I'm talking to you, Cocksuckers." A boy, who looked like an ugly crossbreed of Dudley Dursley and Augustus Gloop and probably wasn't even eighteen yet, stepped out of the shadows. He jumped down the sidewalk on his side and crossed the street, approaching us with big steps. „Get lost, we don't want to see your kind around here!"  
_

 _„Our kind? You mean humans?" Levi deadpanned and watched the boy as he got closer. His jaw was clenched tightly and I could see the effort he had to put into holding himself back. „I'm sorry, I didn't know this was the pigsty."  
_

 _I giggled at Levi's comment, placed the index finger of my free hand underneath my nose and pulled it up to make it look like a pig's snout. „Do I fit in better now? Now that I look like someone from your kind?"  
_

 _„You're neither fat nor ugly so I highly doubt that you would", Levi added which had me starting to laugh uncontrollably.  
_

 _His way of insulting and belittling people was slowly rubbing off on me. Not that I would go around throwing unnecessary insults at whoever crossed my path but I started liking to stand my ground and snap snarky remarks at the ones who treated me wrong.  
_

 _The boy, who had by now reached us and stood a few feet away from us, stared at Levi and me in disbelief, opening his mouth to say something but no word came out. I was still cackling, trying to calm myself down but the look on the boy's face was just priceless.  
_ _„Tch, you ran out of insults already? Pathetic", Levi hissed and turned back around. „Shouldn't you be packing your bag for Kindergarten or something, little piglet?"_

/

I sighed and started taking bigger steps to catch up to Armin who was a few feet in front of me, staring at the screen of his phone and starting to hastily type every now and then.

„Don't be bothered by me, I just don't want to listen to Jean and Marco making out or whatever", I mumbled to him and slid my hands into the front pockets of my black skinny jeans, only to pull them back out after a few seconds to brush my hair out of my face. It had grown all the way down to my shoulders by now and a few annoying strands kept falling into my face the whole time.

I was pretty picky when it came to my hair, I wouldn't let anyone with a scissor near it apart from that one hairdresser, who sadly happened to work all the way back home in Germany. Thus I haven't had a hair cut since one year but I actually quite liked the longer hair on me. I could twirl it around my fingers when I was thinking or wildly headbang along to songs I enjoyed. Also, it made me look older. I could get into clubs without having to show my ID and someone even sold me alcohol without asking my age. And I was only twenty yet.

The eight of us kept walking for several more minutes. I lost count of at how many shops Connie and Sasha stopped in front of the windows, trying to imitate the mannequins and pulling weird faces along with it.

We were about to enter our hotel when a young woman with shoulder long white hair and round glasses stopped us.  
„Hey, do you guys like rock music?" She asked and stood in front of Mikasa, Armin and me.

„Um… kind of. Why?" I asked and brushed my hair out of my face again. Damn this was annoying.

„I have tickets for the No Name concert tonight but my friends are stuck in a huge ass traffic jam and won't make it in time. Do you want them?" She asked and pulled three tickets out of her bag.

„Um… Whose concert?" Not that I really knew many rock bands but I at least heard most of the names before. Yet I've never heard of No Name, if I understood that correctly. Who would come up with such a name anyway? It just sounded uncreative to me.

„No Name. It's only one guy but he has a live band with him from time to time. This is his first big concert ever and it's already sold out! His first single practically went through the roof six months ago. He's said to be the newcomer of the year!" The woman squealed and waved the tickets around in front of my nose.

„Oh yeah, that guy", I lied and shook my head in a how-could-I-forget-about-him manner. „How much do you want for them?"  
I started digging through my pockets for my last loose cash that I had. „I can't offer a lot, I'll tell you that much."

„You know what? Just take them." She held the tickets out towards me, but since I still had my hands buried in my pockets on the search for money, Mikasa hesitatingly took them in my place.

„For free? Are you kidding?" Armin gasped and the girl giggled in response.

„He ain't Beyoncé, kiddo. The tickets didn't cost a fortune so just take them and have a good time, okay?" She shouldered her backpack again and ran off without any other word.

„That was… weird." Mikasa mumbled and looked down at the tickets in her hands. „Which three of us should go though?"

I really wanted to go. It's been years since I had gone to a concert, the last one being Krafklub at a small club in Berlin. But out of courtesy I didn't want to right away shout that I wanted one of the tickets. I would just hope that there will be one left for me.

„I've got better things to do than going to a concert tonight", Jean shrugged and wrapped his arm around Marco's waist. I pretended to stick my finger down my throat and made an excessive gagging sound. „Shut up Jäger, at least I'm not a desperate single who looks like a girl!"

„Call me girly again and Marco will have to find another horse to ride tonight!" I bitched at him.

„Guys, stop!" Marco, whose face had turned the shade of a tomato I might add, pulled us away from each other before Jean and I could get into a fight right here in public.

„Are you coming or do you want to strike roots out there?" Sasha came running out of the hotel again.

„Sure", Annie mumbled and pushed Jean and me, who were still giving each other grim looks, out of the way and joined Sasha and Connie who were already in the lobby.

The rest of us followed and we took the elevator upstairs to our rooms. Mikasa, Armin and I were sharing one room as well as Annie, Sasha and Connie did (Annie tried to get a single room but there was none so she had to share one with Sasha and Connie), and Jean and Marco had a room of their own, mostly because no one wanted to have them anywhere close once they were behind closed doors.

On the ride upstairs we figured out who actually wanted the concert tickets, which were Sasha, Connie, Armin and me. A few rounds of Rock Paper Scissors later it was decided that Sasha had lost and wouldn't get a ticket.

„But without Sasha it's gonna be boring", Connie rolled his eyes and fanned himself with the ticket that he won.

„Love you too", I huffed sarcastically and patted him on the shoulder.

„You should take it." Connie scratched his shaved head and shoved the ticket towards my sister. „The three of you would have more fun than if I would go in your place."

„Thanks", she mumbled and accepted the ticket which she immediately slid into her Tote bag.

„I reckon this will be a hell lot different than Krafklub. So we have to dress up properly!" I was rushing around our hotel room, gathering my clothes and trying to find something to put on that didn't look too hipster. Which proved itself to be rather difficult.

 _/_

 _„Levi?" I mumbled sleepily and slouched out of the bedroom, following the soft sounds of the guitar down the hallway. The tune sounded familiar but I was too tired to remember which song it was right now.  
_

 _The music paused and I heard Levi mutter a few words, seeming to have a hard time saying them and a few more chords followed before the music paused once more.  
_

 _„What song is that?" I asked and yawned, leaning against the doorframe to the living room and watching Levi through half lidded eyes as he set the guitar aside.  
_

 _„A stupid song." He hastily gathered the sheets that were spread out on the coffee table into a pile and held said pile up to his chest.  
_

 _„Why are you being so secretive about it?" I kept repeating the few chords that I heard in my head, trying to remember how they continued and to finally have the whole song come to mind. „Oh wait… was that a Kraftklub song?"  
_

 _Levi hesitated before he gave me an answer. „So what if it was?"  
_

 _„Aww admit it, you like them!" I giggled and hopped on the couch next to him.  
_

 _„One song okay, only one song! Stop that Eren!" He tried to defend the sheet music in his hands but I managed to pull out the first page nevertheless.  
_ _My eyes flew across the chords and a grin crept onto my face. Did he know that this was my favorite song? Or was it just coincidence?  
_

 _„Do not take this the wrong way, brat." Levi snatched the paper back out of my hand and put it back with the rest. „There's no particular reason why I picked this song, I just like it and found out about the lyrics later on, got it?"  
_

 _„Sure thing." I rolled my eyes. „After all, it's_ not _a_ _Love Song, right?"  
_ _Kein Liebeslied. Or ‚Not a Love Song' in English. That one song that got me into Kraftklub in the first place. A song about the problems of falling in love and not knowing how to confess.  
_

 _„Can you play it for me?" I begged and started bobbing up and down in excitement.  
_

 _„Tch, I won't sing for you, brat. We talked about this several times already."  
_

 _„Fine. Then you'll play and I'll sing. Deal?" I held out my hand and he pushed it away with a faint nod.  
_

 _„Deal."_

/

„Ready to go?" I asked and looked at Mikasa and Armin who were both casually dressed with random band shirts and black jeans.  
I had decided to go for Levi's Ramones shirt which by now had lost a lot of color and was now a grey-ish red instead of the bright deep red it used to be before. I had probably worn and washed it way too often. It didn't smell like Levi anymore either. I missed that salty smell of tea and windex even though I couldn't remember it properly.

„Ready." Armin nodded.

„Ready." Mikasa agreed and adjusted her red scarf.

„Do you really want to keep that scarf on? It's going to be super warm in there. There are no seats so I guess we'll be cramped into a tight space with several thousands of people." I walked over to her and took the scarf off from around her neck. „You can put it back on later. It would only get soaked with sweat or you might even lose it."

I knew how much that scarf meant to her, after all this scarf was what had sparked our close friendship and sibling love. She would only take it off to shower and to sleep. Or when I asked her to because I knew it wouldn't survive whatever we were up to.

I had actually planned to look up that No Name guy before we left for the concert but I somehow didn't find the time for it. I had been too busy packing and getting ready and once I finally had the time to google him, we had already left the hotel and I didn't have wifi anymore.  
Luckily, Armin had figured out where we had to go and how we would get there before he as well didn't have wifi anymore.

With a combination of walking, bus and subway we reached the concert hall within 30 minutes and still had 3 hours until the doors would open but even though we were super early, there was already a huge crowd in front of it. High pitched screams from fangirls and people roaring songs we didn't know greeted us upon our arrival and right away that bubbly feeling of excitement started to spread inside of me and I started grinning. Concerts always give me this amazing feeling, I'd go to a concert every day if I could.

„OH MY GOD, LOOK!" A girl screamed from the front of the crowd and several others joined in. Suddenly, the whole crowd started cheering and the whole mob moved forward.

Armin threw me a worried look and I just shrugged, suggesting that we should just go with the flow and try to see whatever was going on over there in the front. We were soon swallowed up completely by the mob and got separated. Armin and Mikasa could take care of themselves while my curiosity made me push my way through the waiting fans until I was close enough to the front to see something else than just the reflection of the crowd in the windows.

But once I laid eyes on the man pulling a grimace on the other side of the window, I wished I was anywhere else but here. The safety pin on his bottom lip was hard to miss and his black hair was as neatly parted at the top of his head as always. The blue bandana around his wrist, the three piercings in each ear and that pale skin, which made him so unique to me; The huge pair of sunglasses may have been hiding his eyes but there was no doubt about it.

I have broken my promise.  
I didn't mean to. I didn't know.  
I could twist and turn it however much I wanted, but fact stayed fact.  
I have come to see him.

* * *

 **Levi's POV** _(The song featured is called Wings Of Freedom by Melifiry and is an english cover of Jiyuu no Tsubasa)_

June. It was a rather cold day for it being summer but this is New York we're talking about so what did I expect? I was walking along a big hallway, humming a song more for practice than for amusement, and was nervously playing with the safety pin on my lip.

It has been eight months since I had left Eren alone in his room, with nothing but a goodbye and a necklace to remember me by. I knew by now that that had been unnecessary and just uncalled for but at that time, it had seemed like the only right thing to do. Sadly, I only realized a week later what a big mistake I had made. But I had made my choice and I had to live with that.

I had missed him a lot for the first weeks. And I still did miss him now but it's more a feeling of ‚I wish I could see him again' than that painful feeling of loss which I have had in the beginning. I had lost count of how many times I had been about to call him until Erwin had persuaded me to finally delete his number because he couldn't see me pathetically crawling back to Eren again after I had been the one to end the contact between us.  
I finished the song I was humming and started it over from the beginning, whistling it this time.

 _/_

 _„You put your lips together like this", Eren pursed his lips and a soft whistle came out, „and just blow the air out. It's no magic work."  
_

 _I tried to copy him, blew my cheeks up but instead of a nice whistle, only air came out like I was about to blow out candles on a birthday cake. This had been_ _going on for several minutes now and so far I had made close to no progress. Once Eren had discovered that I couldn't whistle to save my life, he found it necessary to change that immediately because ‚A musician that can't whistle ain't a good one'._

 _„You're blowing too hard", Eren giggled and whistled again. „Be more gentle."  
_

 _„That's not what you said last night", I grumbled and saw his cheeks go from their normal color to a deep crimson in a matter of seconds.  
_

 _„Levi!" He whined, hiding his face behind his hands.  
_

 _„Tch" I shrugged and lay back down on my back with my arms behind my head. „Let's just face it; I can't fucking whistle."  
_

 _„Come on, give it one more shot!" Eren started nagging and was shaking me by my shoulder.  
_

 _I rolled my eyes, pursed my lips again, ready to make a fool out of myself once more, but much to my surprise, a very very faint whistle came out. It sounded horrible and completely out of tune, but it was a whistle nevertheless._

/

Stupid brat, I can't keep him off my mind for one day, can I?

I stopped front of the door that lead to the entrance hall from where I could already hear cheers and screams coming through the glass front.

„There you are, Levi!" Erwin jogged up to me and placed one of his huge arms around my shoulder.

„Is it already time to head for the dressing room?" I sighed and wanted to turn back around to go backstage and get ready for the performance.

About half a year ago, without any warning Reluctant Heroes had been placed fifteenth in the US charts immediately after it had been released on Youtube. I didn't know what had happened or why it did. I just woke up one morning to the ringing of my phone and as soon as I picked up, Hanji had started babbling about my single having one million hits on Youtube after only two days. That had been around the time when I had finished my album and had been talking to the agency about how we should sell it and they had offered to publish a teaser on Youtube to see how successful it could be. Turns out, people fucking loved it.

And now here I was, in a quite big concert hall, about to give my first ever concert in front of several thousand people. I'm usually not the type of person to get all nervous but this here was the real deal and I had to pay a whole lot of attention to not start trembling doing the easiest tasks like drinking or walking.

„You still have some time. Do you want to go outside and say hi to everyone?" Erwin suggested, handing me a pair of huge sunglasses before he placed his free hand on the door handle.

„Thanks", I mumbled, put the sunglasses on and everything around me darkened.

I pushed the big double doors open, stepped out into the huge entrance hall and was right away greeted with screams and cheers from the fans who were pressing themselves against the huge windows.

„This was a mistake, Erwin." I growled and looked over my shoulder to see that my bulky friend was right behind me. Mental support. I was still new to this and didn't really know how to handle it. He didn't either but I felt less awkward with him around.

„Look at them, how they're all excited just to see a grumpy midget. I think that's pretty impressive, you should be proud", Erwin chuckled and gave me a soft nudge on my shoulder.

„I guess you're right", I muttered and made sure that my sunglasses stayed on when I leaned my head forwards and ruffled my hands through my hair, only to comb it back into place with my fingers again.

I've never shown my face in public so far when I was going as No Name. I had changed my alias from Rivaille to No Name shortly before Reluctant Heroes was released because I had made up my mind of what I wanted to represent. I didn't hide everything about me for the sake of mysteriousness but to make a point that one didn't need a name or a face to be a person others looked up to, to make money and be successful. All you needed was talent and passion.

„Well, you gotta do a bit more than just standing there." Erwin took a few steps back to give me space to do… well something. „Say hi, wave, smile, I don't know."

„Do I look like Sharpay fucking Evans who puts on fake smiles and pretends like every shitty fan is her best friend", I scoffed and made a lazy salute with my right hand towards three girls who were grinning at me through the windows.

„This ain't High School Musical, Levi. And you're not dressed in pink and sing about how fabulous you are. You're No Name, a musician who is on his way to the top. Be yourself, that's what they love you for." He was slowly retreating, backing away towards the double doors.

„By being myself you mean I should act like a dick?" I rolled my eyes, aware that no one could see that behind my sunglasses anyway.

 _/_

 _„For fuck's sake, Levi! Why do you always have to be so fucking rude?!"_

 _„Language, brat", I warned him but there was no stopping him now.  
_ _„You tell me to watch my language while you're the one who throws unnecessary insults around like confetti at a rave party! I hate that you always call me brat like I'm some snotty nosed toddler, I hate that you feel the need to belittle me every time you get a chance to, just to make fun of me. Your massive ego annoys the shit out of me, Levi!"  
_

 _I sat back and crossed my arms in front of my chest, waiting for him to just calm the fuck down already. It wasn't unlike him to have an angry outburst every now and then but he was really obsessing over it this time.  
_

 _„Do you think it's okay to degrade me all the time? Not only me, this one goes for basically everyone you talk to. Do you think it was necessary to say those things to my sister? Do you even think at all? Or do you just open your mouth and a spate of insults and slurs comes out?"  
_

 _„Tch", I huffed and turned my head slightly to the side and stared at him with a grim look. I knew I was a jerk. I just liked to speak my mind, say things as they are and not sugarcoat anything. Sure, maybe there were a few unnecessary things I've said every now and then but that's just my way of talking. And the people who are close to me know that I don't mean all of it. And so should Eren.  
_

 _„See, that's what I'm talking about!" Eren was dramatically flourishing his hands around and paced up and down in the living room while I was just sitting on my couch, legs crossed over each other with a bored look on my face, showing him how fed up I was with this.  
_

 _„Are you done?" I muttered and arched one eyebrow up.  
_

 _„Fuck you. Yes I am." He plopped down on the couch next to me and grumbled some incoherent words.  
_

 _„Still angry?"  
_

 _„Yes."  
_

 _„Good. The sex will be better when you're furious."_

/

By now I was basically having a contest with a bunch of fans outside the concert hall about which of us could pull the uglier grimace. Yes, I could move my stone face into something else than a disgusted or angry expression. I didn't want to give my fans the grumpy midget treatment so instead I tried to pretend to be a normal funny dude and not scare them away with deadly glares. My grimace diversity wasn't really impressive but I tried my best.

I was just sticking my tongue out and poking my fingers against my cheeks, obviously losing the contest, when my gaze fell upon a young man, probably around his twenties, with hair all the way down to his shoulders and a washed out Ramones shirt clinging tightly to his torso. His brown hair was falling into his eyes but nevertheless I could see the dumbfounded look that was plastered across his face as he stared at me. Probably just a fanboy seeing their idol for the first time. Everyone has that moment at some point in their life.

„Nice shirt!" I mouthed at him and gave him a faint salute with my right hand.

I could see him stiffen up, pulling his head between his shoulders and turning his head away quickly, pretending like he wasn't even looking at me. The neckless around his neck swung wildly along with his movements as he turned around and quickly dived back into the crowd and disappeared. A long and slender blue feather was attached to it along with a few other charms that I couldn't make out. A key maybe?  
A cute boy with nice long hair and a good taste in music, wouldn't push him out of bed…

„Levi?" Erwin called from behind me.

„What is it?" I turned around and pulled the sunglasses down a bit to glance over the rim and look at him.

„We've got to go. The doors will open soon and you still haven't finished the rehearsal", he said with his typical dad voice which he used whenever he felt like he had to be the responsible one again; Just like whenever Hanji freaked out about something, Petra was too shy to even breathe or I was about to let out a tirade of insults.

„Tch. Yeah whatever", I grumbled and slid the sunglasses back up, waved at the fans who were still pressing themselves agains the windows, and followed Erwin backstage where I was right away greeted by Hanji, who had a headset over her head and a stack of paper in her hands.

„What the fuck, four eyes," I hissed and snatched the papers away from her. „What are you doing?"

„I'm helping! They gave me this headset so I can double check the sound!" She squealed and pointed at the headset.

„No, you won't!" I snapped and flipped through the sheets, which were mostly just the lyrics and chords to my songs along with the estimated time it would take to perform each of them and so on. The usual backstage stuff. „Erwin, can you please put her in a straight jacket or something?

I went through the final order of the songs again with Eld, who would be my drummer for tonight, as well as with Mike and Moblit, two rather new acquaintances of mine who Hanji introduced me to after I had complained that I couldn't perform on stage without a band, who would be my guitarists.  
I wouldn't need them for every single song, some would have to be playback because synthesizers were a thing and I wouldn't need a band with me for that. But I was glad they would be there with me on stage. Not that I had stage fright but even I tend to get nervous sometimes.

„Levi, the doors have opened!" Hanji's excited voice yelled right into my ear what made me rip off my headset.

„HANJI!" I yelled and tossed the small in-ear-headset on the table in front of me. „Get off this frequency this instant or I swear I will kick you out!"  
I could still hear her squealing through the tiny earpiece and ramble about something I probably didn't care about.

With a sigh, I pulled my black and red vest off the hanger next to me and slid it on. I was wearing nothing underneath it, it would be hot enough already on stage with the long coat I was going to wear so I didn't want to put on any unnecessary clothing. My fingers hooked into one of the holes in my black jeans and gave it a firm tuck, tearing the fabric open and leaving a bigger whole than before. My blue bandana was tied securely to one of the belt hoops and as well as a silver chain.

„Levi… Levi… LEVI!" I heard now Erwin's voice come through the earpiece and I let out an annoyed „Tch" when I put it back on.

„What is it, eyebrows?" I growled and continued to dress up.

„30 more minutes. Hurry up!"

My feet slid into the knee high combat boots which I solely bought for this concert and I shivered when the cold leather of the black, long coat slid up my arms. I made sure the safety pin was perfectly in place, put the necklace with Liberté's white feather around my neck, took a last look into the mirror and tidied my hair before grabbed the white cloth from the table and jogged out of the dressing room.

/

„Okay, you're good to go," Petra giggled when she adjusted the white bandages, that covered the top half of my face completely, with a few bobby pins to the back of my head. The white, barely see-through cloth wrapped itself over my face from my nose up over my eyes and all the way up to my forehead.

„Are you sure they won't come off?" I asked and tugged on the fabric, desperate to see anything more than just shadows dancing around in front of me. „Fuck, I can't see shit. I don't remember it being that bad during the photoshoot."

I had worn these bandages before, when we were shooting the picture for the cover of my album, but back then I had been at least able to see something through it. But now it was just dark grey with a few black shadows moving around.

„You'll see stuff once the spotlight shines through it. It's quite dark in here right now." Her voice was calming and the tension eased a bit though it didn't fully ease up.

„Guitar." I reached my hand out and someone, I couldn't tell who, handed me my skull-shaped guitar.

„Ready to go in ten, nine…" I could hear the stage manager's voice starting the countdown through my headset and I felt Erwin place his huge hands on my shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze and shoving me towards the entrance.

„You've got this, shorty." He muttered into my other ear which wasn't occupied by the ongoing countdown and I took a deep breath.

„Zero. Good luck out there!"

As I entered the stage, the spotlight lit up for a split second before they turned off completely, leaving the whole hall in complete darkness. Due to the sudden flash of light I could spot my mark in the middle of the stage where the mic was ready on its pole, memorize its location and take several huge steps towards it in the darkness. Petra had been right, once the light was shining through the bandages, I could actually see things. Everything was tinted in white, like I was looking through alabaster glass and I could only guess how many heads I was seeing in the audience but going by the volume and the fact that I had sold more than 3000 tickets, it must be a whole lot.

I could hear nothing but the cheers and screams coming from the crowd, ringing in my ears when I plugged the cord that someone handed me into my guitar and as soon as I gave it the first firm strum, I felt like I was going deaf.

I stood there in the middle of the stage, feet apart and my gaze lowered when the lights came back on. Immediately, beads of sweat started to form on my forehead underneath the fabric. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins and my heart started to flutter in a way it hadn't done in the past eight months.

„Oh my friend, behold this victory!" There was no music playing but I sang loudly into the microphone in front of me and even more cheers erupted from the crowd. „This is our first gloria! Oh my friend, rejoice as we prepare! Our next battle is now!"

 _/_

 _„And then you start with that… interlude thing," Eren suggested and put down the pencil after he had scribbled the words down above the chords to the song.  
_

 _I gritted my teeth and read over the words again as well as the notes Eren had scribbled down on the side which were a lazy summary of what the song should be about.  
_

 _„We will…. not sacrifice ourselves in vain?" He continued but I immediately shook my head.  
_

 _„That's too short for such a long passage", I muttered and tried to come up with a sentence that would hold the same meaning. „No longer will our sacrifice be for nothing."  
_

 _„We will fight to be free", Eren added and he started grinning that bright grin that he always put on when he started coming up with ideas that weren't always necessarily good ones.  
_

 _„Fight 'till the last." I couldn't help but have my voice singing the words every so slightly even though I had sworn myself to never sing in front of him.  
_

 _„Let's hear it!" Eren was jumping up and down on the couch next to me like an overly excited bouncing ball.  
_

 _„How often do I have to repeat that I won't sing?!" I hissed but pulled the guitar on my lap nevertheless.  
_

 _„I didn't say you would have to sing. I will do it" he giggled and quickly wrote down the lyrics we had just come up with. „Oh my friend, behold this victory. This is our first gloria! Oh my friend, rejoice as we prepare. Our next battle is now!"  
_

 _I joined in with the guitar and after I played the short interlude, Eren kept singing. He had an amazing voice and I bet if he tried, he could be damn successful in the music industry. But he didn't seem to care about making it there as much as he seemed to rather not know what the hell he would do with his life once he was back home in Germany.  
_

 _„Fight 'till the last!" He dragged the a out since that's as far as we had come and without hesitation, I came to his help.  
_

 _„Fight! We clash with forces barbaric, and colossal we will attack them!" I mumbled while he was still dragging out the last word  
_ _He turned his head to give me a wide grin and it took me so much effort to not smile back at him. I could feel this song would be special, to both him and me, and it would be something that will connect us even if all boundaries got lost._

/

„Fight in the name of gloria,  
Singing our victory!  
Flying in the Wings of Freedom we bear!"

I wasn't the one playing the guitar. Mine was gently resting against the stool behind me and right on front of the drum kit on which Eld was drumming away. Mike and Moblit were taking care of the guitars so I had both my hands free to hold onto the mic and flourish my other hand around in sync with the loud music and the lyrics.

„Vows etched upon our very soul,  
We will not falter here!  
We cut through the madness and fly high!"

I ripped the microphone off the mic stand and took a few steps back.

„We sore into the blue"

My coat was fluttering through the air as I turned my back to the audience, revealing the huge crest with two wings crossed over each other, one a bright blue and the other a shiny clean white, that was sewn on to the black leather across the entire back of my coat.

„On the Wings of Freedom!"

I punched my into the air and the music stopped with a loud clash from Eld behind the drums.  
My breath was going quick and the adrenaline in my veins had reached 100%.  
Oh how I wished Eren could see this. How the audience loved the song, how successful it had become and how I still refused to forget him like I had planned to do. How much he still meant to me.

Eren.  
And suddenly, it hit me. I remembered the boy from earlier. The boy who had stared at me in awe like I was some sort of fucking alien. The boy with the long brown hair and a t-shirt just like the one I used to own before I had given it away. The boy with a necklace around his neck which several charms attached to it, including a slender blue feather and something that looked like a key.  
He had broken his promise and had come to see me.  
Oh how long have I waited for him to do this.

…

„A song for reluctant heroes, oh give me your strength. Our live is so short…"

I sang the final line to the final song and as soon as the music had faded out, the crowd was going crazy and I bowed my head slightly and pushed the bandages back into place.

„Thank you." I breathed into the mic and put it back onto the microphone stand before bowing again and leaving the stage through the door through which I had entered.

„Holy fucking SHIT!" I yelled after I had kicked the door closed behind me and pushed the bandages up and away from my eyes. „I can see! I can breathe! I need a fucking shower!"

I could see Hanji cackling in a corner but within seconds, I was tackled by a tight hug from Petra.

„That was amazing!" She squealed and squeezed me even tighter.

„I'm sweaty, don't hug me please", I groaned and pried her arms away from around me. „I'll be off taking a shower!"

„Clean freak!" I could hear Hanji yell after me when I left the room in a hurry to get some time on my own and to get all of this disgusting sweat off of me.

I took a shower in record time, as usual, and I quickly threw on my jeans again afterwards as well as an oversized My Chemical Romance shirt because I couldn't be bothered with fabric clinging to my body right now.

When I left the bathroom, rubbing my hair dry with a towel, Erwin greeted me without one word and offered me a bottle of ice cold water. With a thankful nod, I took it and downed it in one go. I knew there was a reason he was considered my best friend. He knew what I needed. Which was no one talking to me right now and water.

„Hey, great performance out there!" The stage manager came up to my side and patted my shoulder. I cringed at the body contact but I was too exhausted to tell her to keep her hands off of me. Also, No Name wasn't as much of a dick as Levi was. So I needed to behave. „There are two kids, asking for entrance to the backstage area. They seem to be fans but I won't let anyone in without your permit. They claim to know you though and told me your name. Maybe acquaintances of yours?"

„CODE RED! CODE RED!" Hanji shouted and also ran up to me. Can't people leave me in peace for one goddamn minute? „He's here, Levi! You know who, he's here! He wants to get in!"

„FUCK!" I punched my fist against the wall next to me and pain shot through my wrist and up my arm. „I knew it! I fucking knew it was him! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, FUCK FUCK FUCK!"  
I slammed my fist repeatedly against the wall with every word.

„Sir, please-" The stage manager said in a stern voice but I cut her off mid sentence.

„Take me to those kids that wanted to get in!" I hissed.  
She gave me a confused look but motioned me to follow her. For a few seconds I did, walking behind her like a duckling behind its mother but I soon walked past her and hurried to the backstage entrance.

„Move!" I hissed to the two body guards standing in front of it, their backs turned to me, and they quickly obeyed and moved aside, revealing a tall boy with shoulder long brown hair standing there, next to him an asian looking girl with black hair about the same length as his. Without her red scarf for once though.

„You fucking…" I started and stepped towards him, my fists clenched and my mind overflowing with too many emotions at once.  
Was I angry? Was I disappointed? Was I upset? Was I excited? What was I feeling?!

„I... I really loved the concert." That voice.

„And?" I growled and hoped that I could hide the fact that my bottom lip was trembling. My heart was bumping in my chest at such a rapid speed, I don't think it had ever been this bad before.

„I didn't mean to turn up. It was an accident, I swear! I didn't know it was you until I saw you! But since I have broken my promise already, I thought I could at least give it a shot and try to talk to you." Eren bit down on his bottom lip and lowered his gaze towards his feet. He was still wearing those worn out white converse, torn open completely on the inside by now and looking like they belonged in the trash.

I didn't even manage to get a word out. I was only panting, hissing my breath out through my clenched teeth and staring at him like I was about to rip his head off.

„Let's go", Mikasa mumbled. „He doesn't seem like he wants to talk to you."

„Sure. Levi..?" It was obvious that Eren had already made up his mind. „Maybe we'll meet again some time. I'll make sure to come to your concert again once you go on tour in Germany."

„I…" I pressed out but before I could say anything else, Mikasa had took Eren by his shoulder and dragged him away. Eren brushed his hair out of his face before he turned his back on me and gave me a sad smile and a faint wave with his right hand.

My lips curved into the tiniest of smiles but he had already turned around and left. Only Mikasa turned again to look me dead in the eye and drag her thumb across her neck.

And just like that, Eren was gone again.  
I had my chance but I let it slip through my fingers.  
I didn't run after him.  
Because I guess we just weren't meant to get along.

 _My name is Levi. Levi Ackerman. I am a singer and song writer and eight months ago, I met a boy who turned my life upside down. He was way too young for me, he was way too different from me and he was too good of a person to ever deserve to be friends with me. And nevertheless, I think a part of me fell in love with him. A tiny part. But I left him, knowing that if I spent anymore time with him, I would have fallen for him completely.  
_ _Because after all;_

 ** _Opposites attract._**

* * *

 _(A/N)  
If you were hoping for a happy ending, you were reading the wrong fanfiction._

* * *

ANYWAY  
 _ **THANK YOU SO MUCH** for taking your time reading and finishing this story.  
I'd love to hear what you thought of the ending and of the whole fanfic in general so PLEASE leave me a review and tell me what you liked best, what you didn't like at all, what made you laugh, what triggered feels and so on!_

 _I've come up with this story around October last year and started writing around November so this fanfic took half a year to complete. Rather long compared to how quickly you can finish reading it. This story has been on my mind basically 24/7 over the past 6 months and I kept trying to come up with good ideas, funny references and touchy scenes. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it (if you ignore my weekly desperation once it was Wednesday morning and i hadn't finished the chapter yet)._

 _I originally wanted to add links to Eren's selfie as well as Levi's album cover in this and the previous chapter. I drew them over the last two weeks and I'm actually quite proud of them but fanfiction net doesn't let me post links from Tumblr. So, I'm extremely sorry but unless you're gonna stalk my twitter, you won't be able to see the "fanart" I drew. If you want to check them out though, you can find me as cheezykun on twitter . I'll probably have the pictures pinned to my profile for the next two weeks or something._


End file.
